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The following is a fan-based
FICTION
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Chapter 13: Wrathful Bonding
P.S. I now have a discord server! Discord .gg/ceBMM2Zz6c
What is the best way to handle Anger?
To common mortals, lashing out was a rapid option which, at the expense of items or people, allowed one to find their calm once more. Then there was meditation through which one can understand the depths of one's own wrath. Yet, it would be wrong to say that someone like Shenhe truly found either to be 'enough' for her own brand of fury.
It had always stuck to her, never letting go of her. Even with Cloud Retainer's fine red string sealing off her emotions and granting her a semblance of normality, the young woman was still troubled by murderous thoughts. She hardly had any of those in the last few hours, but ever since Kratos' curious companions tagged along as they returned to the harbor, that guttural loathing came back to her. It clawed behind her chest, almost truly scraping at her ribs and demanding to be let out. To show them that they didn't deserve to be so close to him.
Shenhe had been weirded out by her possessive nature towards Kratos, but the warrior had proved himself something of a mentor that showed her more than Cloud Retainer did in the last few years in terms of 'learning about herself'. And the way he appeared so humane compared to the avian adeptus truly made it easier for her to accept his advise. It was odd how Cloud Retainer, albeit her master, always felt like this sort of higher being that held wisdom that didn't feel worthy of a mortal like her. Nor it was relatable to her own mortal struggles.
Hence why, with this 'Lumine' and that foolish 'Paimon', Shenhe felt genuinely threatened of losing that one teacher that she felt a connection with. Not just in terms of humanity but... more. It was more. It was his subtle rage that was so masterfully contained. It was a wonder how he achieved such a feat as, despite her best effort to gauge it by herself, Shenhe had no clue how worse Kratos' Rage was compared to hers. She felt like hers, something so deep and somewhat unexplainable to even someone as experienced as Cloud Retainer, paled in comparison to his sea of pure bitterness.
So... how was he holding up so well? Actually, how was he able to do so and without appearing restrained and stressed up? The questions had kept piling up even during their first trip to Mt. Aocang, and while she found some clues on how he did so, Shenhe didn't have enough to draw the full story.
Instead, she was stuck glaring at the two sleeping idiots, while Kratos and her were sitting by the campfire as per their shift. The place they picked was devoid of threats, but it never hurts to be extra careful in open places such as this one. Her gaze turned to the embers of the fire, noticing how Kratos was carefully using his axe to work the wood into smaller pieces to feed the fire with.
It was such a simple but distracting activity for her to watch, that she didn't notice him glancing over his shoulder and finding her studying his actions.
"You are upset."
His words struck suddenly and caught Shenhe off-guard. The young woman tensed up, but merely blinked at the comment before formulating a careful response.
"Am I?"
Denial was such a simple thing for her to muster, but she realized shortly after that it didn't work on him.
"You are. And it is aimed to my companions."
A hint of protectiveness left her with a degree of irritation within her mind. "Why would I feel such a thing towards people I just met?"
"That's why I am asking you why."
...
"Why do you travel with them? Convenience?"
"There is a mutual understanding," Kratos curtly answered. "They seek someone, just like I am."
"Who are you looking for?" She asked, feeling aggravated enough to press on the topic
"Friends of mine. People that came with me before I reached Teyvat and... they were taken away."
"...Do you wish to leave Teyvat after you find them?"
"Perhaps. Not for long, however," He admitted thoughtfully. "I have to check on someone. If I am right, then the one that sent us here may be after my son."
...
"You have a son?"
"Aye."
...
"How is he like?"
"Atreus is... a good son. He is a young man, growing out of my care and- and I guess he is trying to find his own path," Kratos remarked, his tone briefly changing from his usual calm and roughness. It was now suave, fond, and source of newfound envy within Shenhe's mind. "What is the tale of that string?"
The sudden shift of topics left Shenhe without a footing for a moment, her gaze looming downward to her treacherous hand as it fiddled with the seal.
"It's a tool. To keep my emotions under control."
She half-expected Kratos to shrug over this, but-
"What?"
His tone had changed again. Confusion and a hint of shock flared within his voice.
"Why?"
"It's to keep my anger at bay."
"And? Does this help you train you to wield it properly?"
...
This time, it was Shenhe's turn to feel confused.
"Why would I train my rage? It is an unbecoming tool-"
"If you allow it to lead you. Not the other way around," Kratos admonished almost immediately, "Anger is a tool like other emotions. For you to keep it bottled up means you are only going to face a bigger woe when you let it out."
"I will never let that happen."
"Then you are a fool," He harshly pointed out, and he stood up from the stone he had been sitting on up to that point. "Come, join me."
The order felt strong enough to rip Shenhe's mind out of its perplexed mood. She complied, almost forgetting about the sleeping companions, but not having to worry much as they took a turn to the side near the camp and... Kratos had some distance on her.
"Remove that string."
...What?!
"I-I can't-"
"You will."
He muttered, not retrieving his weapons, but merely cracking his knuckles. "Hands only, I want to see what you are afraid about."
More hesitation- she remembered the warnings Cloud Retainer had given her about daring, even out of foolish curiosity upon her lonesome, to let her restraints go. But there was something so imperative within Kratos' demands that Shenhe reluctantly relented and... she felt everything burn as her anger fully manifested all at once.
Her body ached, her mind went blank and she felt her sight growing more unfocused before... it took over. While Shenhe defeated that Demon back when she was young, she had been exposed to his corruption. Her body and mind had been slightly warped, engraving that rage of hers within her very soul. The string preserved her sanity at the expense of her humanity, but right now all of that was gone - the monster was out.
A grin manifested, then a scowl, then blood tears, and finally... delight. Shenhe's emotions came to her all at once, bringing her relief in that madness of hers before she turned to the man that had led to this. The one that she wished to thank... by the way of pure brutality.
The Wrathful Existence - Shenhe of the Blood Cloud was now set free.
Kratos appeared surprised as Shenhe surpassed her usual speed, her body pumped up with malicious energy as she easily found a nice enough weak spot to slam a fist onto his chest. Kratos shot upward, going airborne as Shenhe exploited his lack of footing to do some real damage. Her punches lacked enough power to outpace Kratos, but she focused on speed as the man tried to counter her vicious pace. Punch after punch, kick after kick, Shenhe then proceeded to slam Kratos down to the welcoming grass with a kick on his stomach.
The man flashed a pained look just briefly before being forced to land onto the unforgiving ground. Shenhe tried to stab her claws upon his chest, to gut his heart while it was possible, but she was annoyed as Kratos rolled out of her way.
"What's wrong~?" She asked, taunting the older warrior. "Is this all you wished to show me? How old and brittle and pathetic you truly are~?"
He didn't reply to any of that, merely trying to match her speed. Had Shenhe been more arrogant, she would have let him catch up, but she was way faster than him and way too invested to let him land any hit on her. That masochistic curiosity did exist in the depths of her mind, but she wanted a fight, not a 'game'. And as she was doing a flawless job in showing Kratos his place, she felt brazen enough to press her advantage. With a punch that sent the man rotating and then spiraling on the ground, Shenhe cackled.
"Is that all you have to give me? Hesitation? I suppose you are too soft-hearted to show your true nature. What about your son? What was his name, Atreus~?"
The bait worked. Kratos darted towards her. Shenhe's grin widened at this as she effortlessly dodged the mindless assault and continued to beat Kratos, cutting and bruising his strong body as he still held back. Why? Why couldn't he just go all out on her?! Her body needed it. She needed to be strong, she needed to win against the monster!
"I guess that I was right. Too weak~. I bet Atreus will be just as weak. After all, if his father is so pathetic, then he will be just a small bug like you~!"
Shenhe went for another kick, but she finally got caught by his hand. It was sudden, but it didn't led to a counter. Rather, she felt him catch her with such precision that- that she faltered for a moment. And then she saw the gaze he held aimed at her. It was new, it was familiar, it was what she wanted... and maybe not.
Shenhe's murderous grin vanished shortly after.
The moment Kratos turned to look at her, a brief moment at that, she barely had time to bring her arms up to block a sudden swing. While she put a lot of might in blocking the attack, she felt her bones groaning at the sudden pressure, way greater than before and- and then she felt her lungs depleted of air as a kick slammed on her exposed side. Eyes wide open, Shenhe spat blood as she was sent flying to the nearest wall of rock. She tried to pull herself from the hole carved by the impact, but she was yanked out by a hand suddenly choking her.
Horror flashed as her once absolute dominance had vanished. Her throat burned as red and golden flames danced around Kratos' arms. A stern look on his face as his wounds healed before her own eyes. It was like all the damage she had done, all that wonderful violence, had done nothing. Well, not truly 'nothing', rather it had done something quite bad. It had annoyed Kratos- no, it had angered him.
She felt her body shuddering, but it wasn't excitement this time around. It was... fear. A kind of primal fear she only felt once in her whole life and that broke her wrath, it destroyed it as only horror remained. She struggled for air, her shivers worsening as she felt her body unwilling to get hit by him. She had hit him so much, and yet she now knew a punch of his right now would easily kill her.
As she waited for her demise, Shenhe was surprised by what came next. Kratos' furious look mellowed. Slowly, yet within sudden realization of what was going on. He further stunned Shenhe as he pulled her close and then... hugged her. Something about this gesture, so unexpected and the further thing from the pain she had waited for truly broke her.
A sob made its way out of her lips as she hugged him back, not just in relief that the battle was over. No, there was more to it. She felt them - her emotions. And her anger, so frightening at times, was now subdued and relieved for good. For a moment she thought he had put the seal back on her, but the string was further away, left abandoned on the ground. And then her hair- the intensity of that fight had drained the peculiar Adeptus coloration that the brooch her master had given to her. Gone was the suave white color, replaced by her original black hair.
She would need to reapply it before the end of the day but... but for now she was fine. The man that held her close appeared unsure on how to properly embrace her, but she didn't mind it- she just felt happy that he was trying with honesty.
And Shenhe was happy of finally being truly happy.
AN
See? Dad worked things out for Daughter... or did he? Next time some Lumine POV as she actually 'brawls' to secure her title as 'First Daughter'. It goes amusingly well and then... Liyue Harbor! The plot moves as Kratos meets a certain little shit.
