[a/n]MarcusRowland did have another, but some reviews said too much dark. I'll save that for after we visit a bit of naughty tropism.
Harry Does Different DXXXVe
Incest Is Almost The Best
There was once a dark-haired, green-eyed boy named Harry Potter. His parents defied the Dark Lord. He was orphaned and abused by relatives. He went on to learn magic and kill his parents' murderer. Now he was getting his life on track and love life too. Taking that slow, but Ginny was almost like starting over after a year. Fact is, he'd just finished teasing his best friend over really wanting the details of tonight's plans. Harry closed his eyes, concentrated on Hogwarts, and dissapparated.
There was once a dark-haired, green-eyed girl named Harriet Potter. Her parents defied the Dark Lord. She was orphaned and abused by relatives. She went on to learn magic and was unwillingly entered in a life-threatening competition meant for near-adults. And was ostracized by fully 100% of every single person in her life. Finally hitting a boiling point, Harriet screamed in fury, smacked her bushy-haired-ex-best-friend upside the back of her head and ran out of Transfiguration. Crying.
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"Wonder how I managed this?" Harry looked around "Thought only Professor Dumbledore could apparate in the school. But then maybe the Chamber isn't part of Hogwarts." *shrug* "And wow! Almost six years and the basilisk looks almost alive. Well, enough woolgathering, grown man doesn't belong in a girl's loo. No Fawkes, guess we'll be climbing."
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Harriet ran blindly through Hogwarts, eased the wracking sobs, then recognizing it "Third floor. Chamber of Secrets. Well, why not?" ~~Open~~ The sinks all drew themselves apart. Other than a moment to draw a breath, the dark-haired green-eyed girl unhesitatingly jumped. And, after 30 seconds of yelling in pure delight, her first in two weeks, was groaning in pain. The impact might have been minimized by the crowded space. "Who the bloody hell climbs UP a sliding board?"
"Who're you? How'd you get in here? Nobody can but me." Harry shot back, trying to make sense of the tangle of arms and legs.
Blushing at the obvious male form laying on and under her, Harriet shot back "Everyone's heard of The-Girl-Who-Lived! And what're you doing here? WHOA!" This a result of the downward trip resuming.
"Easy there, hun. No reason to be spell-happy." His tone light as he backed away "Let's both put our wands away 'kay. Interesting title you used there. Just maybe heard a different version. I don't typically hug someone whose name I don't even know."
She blushed even visibly in the gloomy outer chamber "Finally, someone doesn't know my name. Wicked! Harriet Jamie Potter. Nice to meet'cha." The girl's tone was a little flippant, as was the proffered hand.
"I must be farther away from where I meant to land than I thought." Automatically gripping the hand, and they both flinched "Watched any science-fiction? Well, Girl-Who-Lived, meet Harry James Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived."
Her wand came out again "What bullshit is this?"
"Well, bit more vulgar than I was then. What are you? Fourteen? Oh bloody! No! Right in time for the QuadWizard Tournament, aren't i?" after nonchalantly sitting on a bunch of bones and basilisk skin waved at her "Oh put that away. I'm not a threat to you. Basically, I am you. And damn, who'da thunk it? I make a little hottie."
This blush was even deeper "Not so little! I'm the same height!"
"Five foot six and a quarter. Barefooted right? But I'm still a guy and a bit older, so I'm probably heavier." Harry grinned at Harriet's growing temper "I was just apparating here, expecting to land near the main gate, for a date with my girlfriend. But, obviously missed the mark. Question: What's the date?"
She saw that as harmless, though him rather disturbed, and still had her wand out, answering "November 17." Adding with a hint of sarcasm "1994."
"Now I get you coming here. Didn't think of it myself, but I totally get it." He commiserated "Everybody hates you, calls you cheater. At the nicest. Even close friends. Just maybe a couple on your side, and Sirius."
The red was still there, but somehow the shade became angry instead of bashful "Not that informed, are ya? Fuck Black! Lupin too! Or maybe they're fucking each other!"
"Damn I'm cute when I'm angry!" Harry couldn't help himself, then got compassionate "Sorry couldn't help it. So, I get the QuadWizard gag. Happened for me a few years ago. Here's what I figure: we're the same person, certain differences OBVIOUSLY but different universes. I can guess who you know, but maybe they're different too. Or other friends. Why don't we just stay down here, compare notes and plan how to do things better?"
Harriet nodded, but then frowned "It'll take days to go through everything."
"Well my best friend objected when I wanted to, and would still throw a fit" he gave a significant look "but do you really care about your attendance or House Points just now?"
She shook her head "Guess not. But food? Drink?"
"Plenty of water down here. Quick spell will purify it." He answered lightly "As for food. Auror training made me eat snake, found it delicious. And if you'll look over your shoulder."
She quipped rather darkly "Somehow I think that's fair." The laughs were identical.
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After a four-day conference, the HJ Potters quickly summarized, her first "So I'll play obnoxious brat and shake out who we can trust. If anyone. And not."
"You can cloud your mind just enough to keep Snape and Dumbledore from figuring out who this mysterious Guardian and House Regent is. Irk them no end." He smirked "I'm going right to the Ministry and Gringotts from here. That lockdown will be over and the drop in the bucket of your trust vault will be meaningless. By the time they even start down that road, it'll be too late to stop either, let alone both."
That was Harriet's only complaint "I'll be worried about you. Especially not being able to tell me what you're doing."
"Hey if me can't trust yourself, who can you?" Harry made a goofy face while deliberately jumbling pronouns, then got serious "We can't be sure how well I can teach you Occlumency. Certainly NOT in four days. Even I'm not yet sure exactly how to handle my project. But I promise an owl a week, even if that won't have any details. Just don't break our Yule Ball date."
She wrapped her arms around his waist and cuddled his shoulder "More worried about you breaking it. I want my first kiss there." Then broke away to start up the slide.
"Incest is almost the best." Harry gave in to temptation and patted the rearend before it could disappear up the slide. He laughed at the protesting squeak as he headed out the tunnel.
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A green form of ectoplasm greeted Harriet with a preternatural wail of misery "But you were gone sooooooooo loooooonnnnng! I thought sure you were dead!"
"Sorry to disappoint you Myrtle." Replied the Girl-Who-Lived, cheerily "But if you want to see everybody lose their minds …looks about lunchtime… you can follow me to the Great Hall. Actually, no, you can help. Make sure just about everyone is in there so I can be a total surprise."
The ghost girl moaned and wailed in delight. And eagerly escorted Harriet through empty corridors. And as eagerly, heralded the grand arrival.
The dark-haired, green-eyed girl unaffectedly strolled in, took her usual seat at Gryffindor, bit into a slice of cantaloupe and reached for a bottle of butterbeer.
"I want a full accounting of where you have been, Miss Potter!" demanded McGonagall. It was beyond obvious she was displeased with her lioness.
Harriet took a followup swig of Butterbeer and wiped her mouth "Oh sure, Professor. I was meeting with my Regent concerning House business. The Moste Ancient and Moste Noble House of Potter, that is."
"And what business would a teenage girl have?" came cold question.
She shot back, unabashed "As Regent Potter put it for me, I guess it's Potter business and not anyone else's."
"That will be 50 Points from Gryffindor!" the House Head was enraged "And a lengthy detention!"
To which Harriet shrugged "Couldn't care less about points. Won't do detention without approval of my guardian and Regent. Besides, I'm stuck preparing for a competition I did NOT enter. To which topc- -"
"And who, precisely, is this regent? Harriet?" queried Dumbledore "Especially as Headmaster, I have overriding authority over students who are orphans. Or certain other categories."
Using the humorless laugh Harry taught her, she replied "Frustrating ain't it? Can't even see the Regent's sex. You or Snape both. For those unaware …and I'm glad of the presence of Durmstrang and Beauxbatons… the more witnesses the better. Hogwarts Headmaster and Slytherin Head just tried Legilimency on me. An underage student."
"No proof of that you arrogant brat." Said Severus in a stone-cold tone.
She waved dismissively "That for another time, other than me needing a headache pill, Madam Pomfrey. And, while my Regent thinks I should largely handle problems with fellow students on my own, teachers abusing their authority will require intervention. And, as the Regent wishes to remain anonymous for a time, while engaged in affairs of import, I have assurance consequences will be most severe." That was concluded with a smirk directed at the Headmaster.
Dumbledore was clearly frustrated, though few knew why. Nothing existed in the girl's mind as to what this Regent was up to, the obscuring of the person's identity was an ability he did not know. He adopted the kindliest tone "Now Harriet, my dear, Professor Snape has my utmost confidence. And you must recognize the necessity of maintaining discipline. As may be - -"
"As may be" she cut him off "I now have Wizengamot topics to address. In short The Moste Ancient and Moste Noble House of Potter is back. The bare trickle of Galleons flowing out of our vaults for the last decade is at an end. We will resume receiving full income from all sources and getting all Potter Properties back to full-out production. Hehe! I love Ps. Our seat and votes will be returned to us at the next meeting."
Harrumpf* This from a now visibly angry Dumbledore "Such matters have many many rules a young lady, such as yourself, is not qualified to act on."
"That is what I have a regent for, Supreme Mugwump." Harriet struggled with the pronunciation that Harry had given "What I did learn, and will now apologize for, is that my being raised by Muggles meant I didn't know anything about the Wizarding World. Never mind the importance of my House. To the allies and friends of House Potter, I apologize for past behavior."
Dumbledore interjected "We also have the matter of multiple days of classes missed without excuse."
"I can catch that up over the weekend." The girl dismissed that casually "But here's the flip side. Where were my older allies when they saw me arrive? And clueless? Regardless, current events, and this is for Beauxbatons and Durmstrang too, I did NOT and DO NOT want to participate in the Tournament. Except as a … in the stands maybe."
A voice from Hufflepuff demanded "Will you take an oath to that?"
"No. But more proof, until a few days ago I didn't know what a magical oath was." Harriet's tone was hard "Why not? True friends and allies don't need them. Enemies' opinions are worthless. But I need, and deserve, something. In two weeks …so plenty of time for owls… I'm going to call House names to see WHO is still on my side. Everyone should remember, I will head House Potter for a long time after I graduate." With that, she started assembling a meal.
There was some applause, but equally looks of disapproval from others.
