Penelope had never felt so terrified. She had her suspicions of course, however now, she was sure. She had remembered her sisters speaking of how tender they had been and just how sick they'd been as of late. Which helped her recall how last night when her husband was touching her how she had winced ever so slightly when his hands had caressed her breasts. And then there was early last week when she had thought she had fallen ill with how much her stomach had been turning and how she simply could not keep her food down. But this morning when she woke for the third day now and her courses still were amiss, she knew. There was no doubt she was in fact with child.
She once would have thought that this day would never happen no matter how badly she had secretly wished for this moment in her younger years. Yet here she was pacing like a fool, an absolute mess trying to figure out how on earth she was going to tell her husband. 'Her husband' she thought. It still felt strange, almost like a dream still but it is her reality now. It was still all so new. Colin Bridgerton. Her husband. Her sweet, caring and loving husband and yet her first thought was not how encouraging and sweet he will be once she shares with him her news. No, her first thought was that comment he had made just days before their wedding. She can still hear those words, so vivid, so fresh laced with anger and disgust. "Perhaps that was another part of your planned entrapment."
Now here she was those words a reality. It was never her intention, but the fact of the matter is that she did just that. If her math is correct, she must have conceived the night of their first encounter well before they were wed. In reality, she was already with child when he made that horrible remark. How is she supposed to tell him now that he was correct after all?
She had to figure it out quickly. Colin was set to return at any moment and she's unsure she will be able to hide this revelation much longer. It has pained her the past few hours. She is so conflicted by these feelings. It is already early afternoon, and she has felt he has noticed her slight distance this morning.
A few minutes had passed when she heard the footsteps approaching and quickly tried to compose herself.
"Penelope?" Colin called out as he entered their home.
"Pen." he said gently as he spotted her, sitting on the edge of their bed. He instantly could tell something was not right,
"Pen, are you alright?"
She was silent and avoided his gaze.
He sat next to her and reached for her hand.
"I can tell something is the matter." He tried searching her face, but she was still avoiding his gaze silently.
A small tear fell from her eye as she glanced at him. He instantly saw it and gazed at her with even more concern than previously. He gently wiped the tear from her cheek.
"Colin." Her voice came out shaky, which only added to his concern.
He lightly brushed his thumb across her palm encouraging her to continue. She her hand back scared of what her next words would do to him. His face twisted with something she couldn't quite place for a moment but then it hit her. He was mirroring the emotions that she had. It was fear that she saw.
"Colin, I'm so sorry." Her voice came out strained but slightly stronger than the last time she tried to speak.
"Sorry? What for?" He was trying his best to think of what on earth she could be sorry for.
"Colin, please I-" she paused and stood up her back facing him.
"Pen, whatever it is you can tell me." He stood and faced her taking both her hands in his.
"There is nothing you can't share with me." He encouraged her.
She inhaled deeply trying to gather her courage and find the right words.
"Col-in" she choked out between sobs.
"I'm sorry, you were right."
His fear grew as she sobbed.
"I swear to you I did not mean for it to happen. I-" she continued.
"Pen, please there is nothing that you could have done or ever do that could ruin what we have." Colin was staring in her eyes deeply.
"I am with child Colin" she closed her eyes as she said in scared to look at him.
"I'm sorry I truly never meant to entrap you and I know that we have finally been on speaking terms again and I can't go back to fighting with you -"
"Pen." He tried to interrupt her.
"I do not wish to keep any secrets from you."
"Penelope-" He tried once more. Yet again failing to stop her from rambling.
"But Colin I swear I never ever meant to entrap you but I-"
He grabbed her face and kissed her passionately, finally managing to silence her. When he pulled away, he finally had her attention. Looking at her beaming his eyes glistening.
"There is absolutely no way you could have ever entrapped me." He spoke to her gently, his hands never leaving her face. She looked at him stunned then spoke.
"But Colin, the only way I could be with child is if I conceived from the first time we have lay together. I did therefore entrap you. I'm so sorry."
"Penelope do not apologize. I should be the one apologizing. I never should have ever accused you of such a thing."
He ran his thumb gently over her cheek looking at her with pure honesty. She closed her eyes as a stray tear ran down her cheek. He wiped her tear then proceeded to place his hand on her midsection. Her eyes followed his hand for a moment then looked back up, trying to read his face.
"Nothing in this world makes me happier and prouder than to know you are carrying my child and keeping them safe within your womb. I never thought I could ever love you more than I already do."
"Oh, Colin" Her eyes glistening all over again as she saw his eyes welling up.
"I'm so glad you feel the same as I do." Penelope was overjoyed.
"You will be an excellent father, Colin. I cannot wait to see you with our child."
"Pen, our child is already so lucky as they have you as their mother." Colin wiped another tear that trickled down Penelope's cheek.
"But Colin, I know how much you love to travel, and I know we haven't had the chance to talk much about children."
Colin then took her hands in his and placed them on her mid-section.
"Penelope, I do love travel but if I'm being honest, most of my travels were me running away from reality and trying to find my purpose but I have found my purpose. Pen, you are my purpose, this child is my purpose, our future family. That is my purpose. I have no need to travel Pen. This child is already loved beyond measure Pen. I love you and I cannot wait to explore this new journey towards parenthood with you. This new journey will be my favorite."
"Oh Colin, I love you so very much."
Penelope stood on her tip toes and leaned up to kiss him. He met her halfway as they shared a short and sweet yet intimate kiss.
