Dumbledore left, and the silence that followed was suffocating. She cleared away the tea and snacks, doing the dishes by hand before retiring to her bedroom. This house was too big for her, but she had gotten it anyway. It was the only house available for miles at that time, and she didn't want to be too far away.
She opened the trunk at the foot of her bed where her wand had lain untouched for years. It was cold, but with a single touch, she could feel the magic buzzing through it again. The clothes in the trunk were old but still wearable. The robes she could reuse, but she wasn't really willing to walk around in Wizarding fashion. It was rather archaic, stuck in the 19th century and highly impractical when you wanted to blend into the Muggle world. Eliza would keep to the muggle clothing if needed; they were far more stylish.
But that was not what she was looking for.
During her years at Hogwarts, Eliza would take photos and get them printed when she came home for the summer. She kept that album here as well. Flipping through the pages, she was reminded of another time: There was the Slytherin Quidditch team, pictures of her, Lily, and the other girls in their year. There was one picture of the famed Slug Club, and later on, there was little Harry on his first birthday. It was the last picture she had of all of them together: Lily, James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius looked up at the camera beaming as Harry, only one year old, did his best to blow out the candles. Sirius helped Harry with the candles, pretending that he hadn't for the photo by looking away.
Eliza snapped the album shut. She had some of Sirius' things but those were kept in a separate trunk at the back of the closet. It will stay untouched. That trunk was a can of worms and she knew that if she dwelled on it for far too long, it would hurt her.
When morning came, she made her calls and all the arrangements were done before Dumbledore's ten hours were up. She would rent out the house for a year and Arabella Figgs would keep a watchful eye on her tenents. Then, she handed in her resignation via post.
Eliza looked out onto the driveway once more, hoping to catch a glimpse of the grey eyes. But it was empty.
Eliza looked away.
While she dreaded Sirius, she also felt the need to see him. She had no idea what it would do to her. Would she run to him? Slap him in the face? Scream? Perhaps he would give her all the answers she wanted but never got, or maybe he would laugh manically as he had done the day he killed Peter.
Eliza took only what she needed and stood in the middle of her house. She took it in one last time. Then she closed her eyes, her wand clutched in her hands and fingers holding tightly onto her suitcase. She imagined herself showing up at Hogmeade. Then, like a gun that was shot out of a barrel, she felt a pull in her stomach as she shot forward, her breath getting squeezed as she went through a tube-like contraption.
Then she landed.
Ouff!
On her back, no least.
Good thing she hadn't had breakfast.
Hogsmeade hadn't changed much since she last visited, and neither did the old castle looming in the distance. It was as grand as ever. She still remembered what it looked like coming in from the Black Lake. What a sight it always was, even when the magic of its grandeur had long faded.
Minerva McGonagall stood at the door waiting for her.
"I saw you all the way up from the castle," Minerva mused. "How are you faring?"
Minerva always treated Eliza with kindness. They were in the Order together back in the war, and Minerva knew her as the one who sometimes secretly cleaned up after the Marauders. Minerva used to be her Transfiguration teacher. Though stern in her teachings, she made transfiguration understandable.
"Truth be told, Minnie, not much has been happening in my life," Eliza answered. Minerva frowned at her and Eliza knew that she was about to be reprimanded for wasting potential.
"Do you not work at St. Mungo's?" she asked.
"Not since the war."
"Then where have you been?" Minerva asked as they entered the castle. Minerva led Eliza to the first-floor corridors, which she remembered quite well. It was where they had Defense Against the Dark Arts, and she wondered who taught that subject nowadays.
"Cooking in a Kindergarten," Eliza answered honestly.
"For muggles? Have you been keeping your magic stored away? You know how unhealthy that is, Shafiq!" she looked credulous. Minerva had once been engaged to a muggle but thought against it when it meant she would be locking her wand away.
"I've not been casting spells," Eliza elaborated. "I've been using it in other ways. I cook food and make sure that all of the kids are getting the nutritions they need. It's infused so that they are healthy. That's all I've used it for."
"Well, you'll be using it a lot more now," a dark expression befell Minerva's face. "I knew Black was ambitious but so ambitious as to break out of Azkaban?"
"They say he's mad," Eliza felt queasy. "And I don't know what happened to him."
"I'm not interrogating you, Eliza. You could not have known this would happen."
Minerva placed a reassuring hand on Eliza's shoulder and squeezed it.
But could she have known? They lived in the same apartment for the longest time. Things had been turmulteous between the two, long before the muder of Lily and James. Eliza had chalked it down to stress, then.
"I hope they catch him soon," Minerva commented. "Just for our piece of mind."
"Maybe," Eliza muttered in her breath.
"This is your room."
Eliza frowned. They had walked through the classroom and into the office of the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. There were three doors more—presumably one bathroom; the others must be rooms.
"Minerva, I thought I was doing Muggle Studies."
"You are," Minerva acknowledged. "Your room is connected to the muggle studies classroom, but also to here. We've connected it because… " Minerva stopped at the look of confusion on Eliza's face.
"Oh, that man!" Minerva scolded. "He didn't tell you, did he? Remus Lupin is the new professor for Defence Against the Dark Arts."
"Oh!"
Remus was the new DADA professor?
Eliza quickly connected the dots. Why else would they connect her room to Remus'?
"I assume that I'll be doing monthly duties?"
Minerva nodded.
"It would be good to have you check up on him after the full moon. Severus is brewing the potion for him and while Poppy wouldn't mind taking care of him, it would be better if he didn't have to stay in the Hospital Wing each month. It may raise some concerns. Didn't Dumbledore tell you, or Remus even?"
"No," Eliza said sadly. "Remus and I... we are on Christmas cards terms. We don't really talk anymore."
"Oh, Eliza," Minerva shook her head.
The few weeks before term started, Eliza walked around. She reacquainted herself with the castle, visiting the elves in the kitchen. They were delighted to see her and gave her a plate of cheesecake, her favourite. She spent time looking at the syllabus for Muggle Studies and, upon realizing that it was the most straightforward job for her to do as someone who lived as a Muggle for a dozen years, vowed to make it fun. Then, she visited Hagrid.
"Never thought I'd see you here again!" he exclaimed and handed her a rather outlandish-looking beer. She drank it, knowing that if something went wrong, it could be easily reversed.
On most days, she found herself at Black Lake. She sometimes saw the mermaids float up to top and waved hello. They could be seen from the Slytherin common room back in her day, and every once in a while, they'd teach the curious student a word or two in their sign language.
It made her miss Lily more than ever. The two of them used to sit on the banks and do their homework, soaking in the few sun rays that Scotland would offer them.
But missing Lily reminded her of Sirius.
Just as much as James annoyed Lily, Sirius had annoyed her. It started as disdain – she had been in Slytherin, after all. The house he hated more than anything. She had been close with his brother, who had gone over to the dark side the moment he saw fit. And while Eliza always thought him attractive, it never ventured into crush territory. But something changed in the fifth year, and Sirius went from hating her to helping her sometimes. At first, Eliza had thought it was to help James get Lily. Then, it was to keep an eye on Regulus.
Then she noticed how good he was at translating Ancient Runes and how attractive it was when he could rattle down the negations in the classical form of Middle Egyptian.
That's when she knew she had a crush on Sirius in her sixth year.
Your first kiss was under this very tree, her mind reminded. The mermaids never let her live it down, giggling about it.
On the day the Hogwarts Express should arrive, and the term started, she awaited the arrival of Remus. She paced the castle, nearly driving nearly headless Nick insane.
Minerva's eyes gleamed. "He's taking the Hogwarts express."
Oh, she retired to her room. In the evening, she heard the doors open to the room. Her heart raced as she touched the cold handle of the door.
How do you act around someone you once considered your best friend?
A figure with a shabby-looking coat entered the office. Remus was walking a little loop-sided. His back was a little hunched over, and grey hairs streaked the rich brown ones. Remus Lupin still looked like the kind boy she'd met on the train many years ago as she nervously sat alone in a compartment.
Remus finally noted her presence, his suitcases floating behind him. His mouth hung open.
"Hi."
"Hi," Remus looked around. "Am I...?"
"It's the right room? Yes," Eliza said awkwardly. "Uhm... I'm your new roommate, apparently."
"They let us share a room? I thought the castle was against that."
"It's adjacent," Eliza felt the heat rush to her face. "I dare you to try to enter it. I think it will turn into a slide."
There was a thud behind Remus—his suitcases landing on the floor—and he walked up to her slowly, holding out his arms, unsure. But Eliza pulled him in, embracing him. It felt familiar, and Eliza felt like melting into it.
"It's good to see you," she told him, and they pulled apart. "You're looking peaky."
His skin was extremely pallor, and the signs of the last full moon still marked his face. She patted his cheek.
"It was that time of the month," Remus answered and smiled tiredly. "Dumbledore didn't mention you."
"Surprise," she muttered. He didn't mention him to her either. "How was your trip here?"
"I slept for the most part," he took off his cloak. "Though I was disturbed when the dementors came."
"The dementors?!"
"They were looking for Black," Remus did not call Sirius by his name. "Ended up sucking some happiness out of Harry too -"
"Is he alright?" Eliza was shocked and ready to run off to the Great Hall. Remus patted her hand.
"Don't worry, I gave him some chocolate. Poppy will take care of him. He was okay last time I saw him."
She calmed down, but only a little bit. The last time she had been around Dementors was when she had watched Sirius be incarcerated in Azkaban. She had never returned since. She remembered how empty she felt upon entering the island.
"I wished they weren't here," she whispered. "I gather neither of us would be here either if that weren't the case."
"What do you mean?"
"Dumbledore made it very clear that even if the position wasn't free, I would still be here," she said darkly.
"He has his reasons, he always does."
They arrived at the Great Hall slowly as the students were piling into it. She had a sense of deja vu and familiarity settled in, how she would walk these long tables every day. When she walked past the Slytherin table, she noted a blob of blonde white hair.
Ah, a Malfoy, she thought to herself. Eliza gathered that she may be related to half of the people in this hall one way or another, but the Slytherin table more than anything.
"Don't worry too much," Remus whispered into her ear as they approached the teacher's table.
"What makes you think that?"
"You looked," he pulled out the chair for her. She saw a bunch of third-years at the Hufflepuff table looking at her, then giggling before they cowered their heads together in gossip.
It wasn't long until the rest of the hall was settled, and the first years arrived. The group was much smaller than Eliza was used to, no doubt an effect of the wizarding war. Later during the sorting, the doors opened, and she watched as two figures slipped in and hastily made their way to the Gryffindor table. Harry Potter's jet-black hair was as messy as his father's. She couldn't see him correctly from her seat, but the thin wire glasses made her think so much of James that it could only be him.
She leaned into Remus, tugging on his sleeve ever slightly. She nodded in Harry's direction. No words were exchanged, but he knew what she was trying to say. She knew it, but she needed to share it with someone who knew.
Harry looks like James.
Dumbledore stood up to address the entire student body. With his long silver hair and energetic feeling, one could not doubt he was one of the greatest wizards of their age. Dumbledore made his everyday speech and then he talked about the dementors. She noted how Dumbledore also looked toward the Gryffindor table when mentioning that dementors were not being fooled by invisibility cloaks. Of course, Harry had his dad's cloak.
"On a happier note," he continued, "I am pleased to welcome three new teachers to our ranks this year.
"First, Professor Lupin–" five Gryffindors clapped hard; among them was Harry. Lupin stood up so that everyone knew who he was. Then, Hagrid was introduced as the new professor for Magical Creatures.
"And our third addition," Dumbledore continued as the loud applause, once more from the Gryffindor table, died away. "Is one of Hogwart's finest, Professor Eliza Shafiq who will be filling in for Professor Charity Burbage as she is taking a sabbatical. Professor Shafiq will also be assisting Madame Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing this school year."
Eliza expected lukewarm applause, but the Slytherin table ignited upon hearing the name. Her fists clenched. She also heard some whispers from the table. It seemed they'd hoped she was the new DADA professor.
"Let the feast begin!"
Eliza was overwhelmed by food. She had dreamed of the creaminess of the mashed potatoes, the steaks and puddings, fried chickens and roasts. She was so busy enjoying the food that she hadn't noticed Severus Snape's disgusted look until she was wiping pumpkin juice from her face.
Severus Snape and Eliza did not have the best of relations. They had been friends. Severus had introduced her to Lily in their first year on the pretence that Lily ought to make "the correct friends". Eliza did not know what he had meant until she noticed the concerning pattern of dark magic following where Snape went. Eliza drew the line when Snape called Lily a filthy mudblood, and then he joined Voldemort right after.
But it has been years, and he was supposedly a changed man.
She wouldn't believe it until she saw it.
"Fancy seeing you here, Snape," Eliza zoned out. "I hear you're the head of Slytherin house."
"I heard reports that you would be ... dwelling here," he snarled. "I do wonder if it is a good idea. Much less wasting your talent on Muggle Studies."
"It's a lot more fascinating than you think. Potions is a lot like chemistry in the muggle world, don't you think?" Severus had a muggle parent, so he knew what chemistry was. He didn't like to admit the similarities between muggles and wizards.
"Don't patronize me, Shafiq," he said in a tone so only Eliza could hear. "It's already a blow in the face that Lupin is here."
"Then I suggest we put the past behind us," she added. "We are adults. We can say our sorry in a private space that does not involve the eyes of prying students, yes?"
When the feast was over, and Dumbledore ordered the students to bed, Remus and Eliza wandered the halls a bit before entering their rooms. They didn't talk much about their feelings; they never did.
Once more, Eliza mourned the life she could have had. As she closed her eyes, the fireplace flickering as her background noise, Eliza wished that the ministry would get him soon. She wanted to sleep well and not constantly remember the nightmare that was the Halloween of 81.
A/N: Update made 15.09.24 for spelling mistakes, flow, grammar – forgive me for being dyslexic.
Please comment, like, and subscribe :)
Love,
Spring
