It's the new years back-to-back chapter! I'll be going back in the story to fix some spelling and grammar errors soon. This chapter may have some problems as well. It occurred to me that from the snippets that have been given of Sirius and Eliza's relationship, a lot of it may seemed extremely strained due to the situation they are in which is kind of the point and tragedy of a lot of things in Harry Potter. A part of me wanted to write more filler chapters with them of the past but I felt like that wouldn't add anything to the story, so I could add it in a future with their present selves. Another point is also that younger Sirius was not the greatest person.
Summer, 1978
Regulus was next to her at the table as they ate dinner with the rest of the Black family. She noticed the forearms of Bellatrix and her husband, along with Lucius. The Dark Mark gave her unease, making her dinner harder to stomach.
"Eliza," Narcissa said beside her. Her voice was sickly sweet. "You look dashing. I knew that sleek hair would suit you better."
"Does it?" she touched her hair that was stuck in a half-up-do, similar to how Narcissa wore it. Narcissa smiled.
"It does, it makes you look like a good pureblood." Anyone in that room who found out would kill her if they knew that Eliza wasn't a pureblood, but she knew that many people pretended that they were. She wasn't an imposter. She was simply… surviving.
Ever since she graduated from Hogwarts, Eliza spent her time between the Black family house and St. Mungo's. It was a rigid path she took every day as Walburga now expected her to bring honour to the Black family as a future member. Eliza's mother also spent her time at Grimmauld Palace playing 'Appease the Walburga' alongside Eliza. The invitation to Lily's wedding was tucked away in her trunk at the Rosier manor. She couldn't wait to go there. Eliza had lied that she had a shift at St. Mungo's and one of the nurses was willing to cover up for her. She couldn't wait to see her friends again.
"The Dark Lord might come tonight," Regulus mentioned to Eliza after their dinner. They were in his room, taking a break from the babble of the party. "I'm going to do it tonight. I'm going to become one of them. I've done the ritual."
Eliza looked up from her book. Somehow, she was expecting it but she also wasn't. Why else would the Malfoys be so care free about their allegiance tonight.
"You…can't be serious."
All of the things that she had been trying to achieve felt like they had gone down the drain. All that time he spent in the Slug club, all of Eliza's chiding to be more accepting. Perhaps she looked away too fast and didn't speak to him more directly.
"I'm tired of waiting, Eliza," he snapped. "Besides, you wouldn't get that, would you? You've been busy playing around with mudbloods and traitors. Once you are done and joined us, you'll see the light."
"You don't mean that."
Regulus turned around, "I do."
His grey eyes were cold. "I know Sirius has been pursuing you, trying to mock me and the family. That you're still here says a lot to me."
Eliza cursed herself. She thought they had been careful, but clearny they weren't careful enough.
"No one caught you," Regulus said suddenly. "I just… I just know my brother and how he looks like at people he likes."
"Regulus," Eliza breathed.
"I know…this is all more of a convenience engagement," Regulus looked at her sadly. "And we are friends. But there's a part of me that sometimes hopes that we can dabble in the thought."
"Is that why you always look away?" Eliza asked.
Regulus looked down at his hands. "Maybe. Maybe I wanted to see what you see too, but with Mother breathing down my neck…"
"You don't need to become a Death Eater," Eliza reasoned. "Please." She thought she would have more time. He hasn't even graduated yet. He shouldn't be one. The Dark Lord was getting restless.
"You have as much to lose in this as I do," Regulus said. He took a deep breath. "I'll be a Death Eater soon, which means this may be the last time we can speak this freely. He can read minds, the Dark Lord. So I want to tell you this. I'll allow you to go to Sirius, but come back. Always. We won't talk about this ever again."
She didn't get Regulus sometimes. One moment, he was a convinced Death Eater. The next moment, he was telling her to leave. If there was anything in her that told her something, it was that there was an inkling of reason in Regulus' body. Something that told her that maybe, in the long run, she had broken through.
The door opened a little bit.
"Master," Kreacher, the house elf, walked in. "The Dark Lord, he is here."
"Thank you, Kreacher. We'll be down shortly."
The house elf eyed Eliza but left the room without any complaints. Regulus looks at her, tears welling up in his eyes. He kissed her on the cheek.
"I'm sorry," was all he said. The Dark Mark was sealed onto his forearm later that evening.
"I can't believe you let this happen!" Sirius exclaimed. It was after the wedding. Lily and James had left for their honeymoon. It would only be a few days before they returned for Order business. Remus and Sirius had promised to help her with the cleanup. Her father was not so far away and was assisting the Evans family in packing all the presents away.
She looked at the muggles and how happy they were, living in bliss far away from the war brewing in the wizarding world right under their noses.
"I tried, I really did," Eliza looked down at the dram of gin and sniffed.
Sirius ran a hand through his hair, breaking up the gel texture that kept his hair swept back.
"Great. Fine. Mum would love it, I suppose. And now you're the fiancée of a nutter as well –"
"Back off," Remus warned. "She did what she could do."
"I will figure it out," Eliza's voice was barely audible, but Sirius could hear it.
"Well, they won't let you go now. They'll kill you if you do. It's like a sign for them that you are not a follower of him," Sirius grumbled.
"Is everything okay?" Eliza's father walked up. He held her coat over his arm. "I'm going to drive back home with the Evans, got to make sure the old man doesn't hurt his back again. Should I drop you off near Grimmauld?"
Eliza looked at Sirius. She hoped he would let her see his new apartment. She didn't know when she would be able to see him again unless he came over to St. Mungo's. Walburga threw a fit if she came home a second too late.
But Sirius stayed silent and took a long sip of his drink.
"I'll take her, Mr. Luna," Remus said softly. "We have matters to discuss."
"Bring her back by midnight," her father joked. It was already past 3 am. "You'll try to write, yeah?"
Eliza nodded. Her father gave her a peck on the crown of her head and left, sending a nasty look Sirius' way.
"How did that friendship even come about?" Remus asked. "Your dad and Mr. Evans? I thought your dad lived in the States?"
"He used to, but now he's up in Manchester. He was visiting when Lily's dad hurt his back. I guess that's how it happened."
"Huh. So he's a doctor?" Sirius looked at her dad curiously. "What else does he do? Break promises instead of bones?"
"Sirius, stop it!" Tears welled in her eyes, but her voice didn't tremble.
Remus cleared his throat, "I'm leaving in 5 minutes. Get what you want to say out of the way."
"This was supposed to be a happy occasion," Eliza pouted. "If you're going to be crossed with me, just say what is on your mind."
"I was hoping we wouldn't need to sneak around after Hogwarts, that is all," Sirius admitted grumpily. He had loosened his tie. "I was hoping you'd show up with better news."
"Well, you could have just said that instead of making me cry," Eliza sniffed. Her eyes stung.
He paused, "I'm sorry."
"You'll need to do more than that."
"And I will," he reached into his pocket. Something dangled from his hand. It was a necklace with a clock face. But instead of a clock, it had 'Mortal Peril', 'Prison', 'Dead', 'School', 'Work', 'Home', and 'On the Go' as its interface.
"I saw this at Molly Weasley's house. She has one with each of family members. So I got one made with all of us. Me, Remus, Lily, and James. I even added Regulus, just for your sake. I thought you might want to have it on you when you don't know if… if you'll see us again. Only you can see it, so my mother won't know you're keeping an eye on us. She'd hate it." His eyes gleamed towards the end.
She took it gingerly.
"I'm still an ass though," Sirius admitted. "But Remus is, sadly, right. And I might not know when I might see you again... at least, not without people intercepting your messages from non death eaters."
"What if you gave me the mirror that you and James have?"
Sirius gave it a thought but shook his head. "I don't know how to make those. Besides, Kreacher will find out. He always knew about the mirror."
Eliza rested her head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her.
"Do you think we'll ever... really catch a break? And have something like this?"
"No," Sirius said. "If anything I'd rather NOT get married for the time being. I don't know what got into James and Lily."
Eliza's heart tugged. "Yeah, I wonder what got into them."
Early 1979
More injured people came through St. Mungo's. It got worse and worse. She hadn't heard from Lily and James since their wedding. Remus would pass through St. Mungo's regularly after a full moon and give her a rundown of everything he could tell her. Arthur Weasley also visited her, mostly alongside his wife and children, as there was never a dull day in the Weasley household.
But Sirius was Sirius. He didn't tell her anything for fear something would get intercepted. He was highly watched, having faced Voldemort not once but twice at this point.
Regulus was no better. He sent his letters from Hogwarts, but his final year was no longer laced with learning. Instead, he was doing tasks for the Dark Lord. As a Death Eater, his letters were never intercepted. Even so, he charmed his letters so that only Eliza could see their true meaning.
With each letter, Regulus doubted the Dark Lord's intentions even more.
I don't know what he is planning, Eliza. It seems to be something dark. He even mistreated Kreacher! There is something he is planning, and I do not know what.
Eliza took a deep breath and shook the evil thoughts out of her head as she tended to a woman who had freshly given birth to a child. She seemed out of it.
"What is it, m'am?" the woman had been crying.
"It seems terrible, doesn't it? To bring a child in to a world like this, a time like this."
Her heart tugged. "Even times like this warrant good news."
She couldn't comfort the woman, nor could she comfort the families that cried in the morgue after they identified their family members. She was slowly wearing thin – there weren't enough healers at St. Mungo's. At the very least, St. Mungo's was a sacred place from the war, even though the victims would appear in streams.
She needed a break. She stepped out into a back alley and leaned against the wall. It was cool outside. A snap caught her attention. Eliza shot to her feet, grabbing for her wand, but noticed that it was no one but Regulus.
Regulus, who looked highly winded.
"Eliza," he breathed and held her face in his hands.
"What's wrong?" she asked, scanning his face and body for any sign of injury, but he seemed okay.
"The Shafiq manor," he let out a sigh of relief. "You're safe."
"What happened?"
"Rosier," he sniffed. "He…he killed her. He killed your mother."
The blood rushed to her ears, drowning out the sounds. She felt like she wasn't in her own body but looking from the outside. Regulus kept talking.
"The Ministry got to him first, so he's in custody. But Eliza… Eliza? Are you listening to me?" he waved his hand before her. "This can't go on."
"What?"
"I know his secret," Regulus looked like a madman. "I know what he is trying to do and it is sickening. He's… he's trying to become immortal. It's dark arts. It's… I will stop him."
"What?"
"I will never let him continue," Regulus grabbed Eliza's hands. "Don't go back to Grimmauld Place tonight. Or ever. Go straight to Sirius – my mother doesn't dare leave the house these days."
"What are you saying?"
"Go straight to Sirius," he repeated. "If I survive… I won't survive long."
"What?" Eliza felt like her brain was running at 300 km/h. She was processing too many things at once. "Regulus…"
"You were right. Maybe if I had more time, I would understand it more." He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Eliza's. He was trembling.
"What will you do now?" she asked carefully. It was the better question to ask.
"I can't tell you, but I need you to know that it will be worth it."
He let go of her. "Stay safe. Please. And never, ever tell anyone what I told you."
When she returned to her shift, the ministry officials were there to tell her that her mother had died. She would have screamed, but sometimes the pain was too much.
Eliza wept. She would have wept more, but she was a nurse. She knew how to cry before going to her next assignment.
When her shift was over that night, she looked at her lock. Everyone was in mortal danger except for Regulus, as his clock pointed at a word that told her everything she needed to know.
She didn't go to Sirius. Instead, she went to Lily's. She needed Lily first before anything. Lily and James hadn't moved in with each other yet as her parents had started to fall ill. It wasn't safe and would have to change soon, but Lily wanted to spend as much time as possible with them. Only once she had calmed down a little bit, Lily having given her a drink or two, did they finally leave for Sirius' apartment. While Sirius was not happy about the news that his brother was dead, there was one thing he was pleased about: he had all of his friends together fighting the dark lord.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Wasn't that the quote from the famous Charles Dickens novel?
She helped at Molly's place. She had her hands full with her children. The others from the Order passed through as well, sometimes leaving their kids with Molly. Eliza stopped working at St. Mungo's and officially went into hiding, which meant Molly kept her busy with household chores and other things where Eliza could lend a helping hand. She even began to teach Charlie and Bill Weasley about herbology.
Little Ron was throwing a tantrum at his plate.
"Now, now," she scolded. "You'll make a mess."
"6 boys," Molly exasperated. "Honestly, if we get one more I hope it's a girl."
"You want more?"
Molly nodded. "Well… yes. What's wrong with that?"
"Well, childbirth is painful," Eliza added. "So seven times is a lot."
Molly chuckled. "It's like splitting a part of your soul each time. But I won't chid you for not thinking that children are great to have. It gives me a sense of stability during these times. For me, it's my children."
Little Ron burped in Eliza's face. Watching Molly and Arthur interact made her long for something in her life. She wondered if it was worth even staying in England at all. Nothing was holding her there but her friends. Her wizarding family here were dead, and her father had decided to go back to the States for safety.
That day, they received the news that the Prewett twins had died. Sirius and James had arrived to comfort Molly. Then and there, Sirius proclaimed his utmost distaste for Death Eaters.
Every once in a while, Eliza would be at Sirius's apartment. Then, she moved in.
"Look at me," Sirius mused. "Eliiiiiiiii," Sirius pulled out. "Look, what do you think of this outfit?"
"Harry won't remember you dressing up as a clown," she sighed as she set the book down. "I will though."
"Well, I needed to get your attention somehow," he gruffed. What's gotten into you these days?" He removed the hair and red nose but kept the bow on.
"I'm worried about Remus."
"Remus is with the wolves," he said, annoyed. "And I am home for once. How come you don't worry about me?"
"I do when you're not here. Ask Lily."
"And when I'm here?" he asked slyly. Eliza smiled softly and pulled him down by his shirt collar towards her lips.
"I'm not that worried."
"You know, when all of this is over I hope we can all have a big house together. With Lily, James, and Harry…"
"What about Remus?" Eliza raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not so sure about Remus nowadays, to be fair," Sirius said quietly. "I know that he is on Order business but… he's surrounded by them. I don't really know if I can trust him."
"Sirius!" she scolded.
"There is a spy in the Order," Sirius rested his head on her chest. Eliza wrapped her arms around him. "James' and my last mission was a bust. They knew we were coming."
"Remus couldn't have known about that," Eliza noted.
"I'm not saying he is the spy. I'm just saying he can't be trusted."
She ran a hand through his hair. It was growing longer by the week. He stopped cutting it. His unshaven skin prickled against her hand.
Eliza was tired of the war. She wanted the stability that Molly and Arthur had even though they were still facing mortal peril—not necessarily the children and the marriage, the big house in the middle of nowhere. She wanted to have a job again, to live each day without worrying that the next second would be her last.
Dumbledore heard her out.
"Then I have a proposition for you," her old professor said. "As odd as it is. There are some people over at the MACUSA that I want to have on our side."
"But they are notoriously bad when it comes to their anti-muggle legislations!" Eliza exclaimed. "How are they any better than Voldemort?"
Halloween, 1981
"You do it."
Her dad looked at her credulously and shook his head.
"No, you have to learn this. No one ever taught you how to do everything else – keep the wand away," Eliza's hand had twitched a little bit for the stick. She was now holding the drill in her hand. She had been agitated all day. Going back and forth between the UK and the States did that to you. What was once a wish was now a pain for her. On one hand, she got a break from the war. On the other, people thought she was chickening out.
"Drilling is a human skill no matter what," Mr. Luna closed his newspaper. "And you're 22. You don't need your old man's help."
She grumbled. But that didn't mean she didn't like it. She felt rather useless in the war effort now. She'd go to the MACUSA in the mornings and reasoned with their foreign affairs minister. Every once in a while, there was a party, and that's it.
Once she hung the pictures on the wall, her dad was satisfied. It was her biggest achievement besides running after the foreign affairs office at the MACUSA.
"Well, I'll be heading back to … wherever," she sighed. The Order had been on a moving basis ever since the end of July. Something had shifted in the war; and they knew that. He was losing, and the Death Eaters were losing, which made them even more restless.
"Stay safe," her dad called out. With a loud crack, she apparated to Sirius' safehouse. They had given up the apartment since it was clear that Voldemort was going after James and Lily. The pair had gone into hiding a week ago.
"Who goes there?" Sirius barked. He saw Eliza. "When was the first time I kissed you?"
"The Slug Club party," she answered. "What did I give you for your 21st birthday?"
"A motorbike," he lowered his wand. There were dark circles under his eyes. "Where have you been?"
"The same, as always," Eliza answered. He didn't seem convinced.
"It sounds more like Dumbledore is wasting your talents. I don't think he would do that."
"Maybe he would if I asked," Eliza shot back, but she quickly let go of the aggression building up in her body. "Look, Sirius. I don't want to fight with you tonight. Please, let's just rest."
"I can't," Sirius said. "I have a bad feeling about something. I need to go check up on Peter."
"Peter?" Eliza looked at him, confused. "Since when do you care about Peter?"
"Since last week."
"Alright," Eliza said sadly. "Well, I'll be keeping an eye, as always."
Back then, it didn't click what he meant when he said he only started to care about Peter since last week.
But now Eliza knew.
Eliza had screamed when she heard the news. Then she laughed.
She laughed, but it was a slow heckle that dissolved into sobs as she planted her face against the wall, clenching her fists at her side. The necklace had told her everything she needed to know during the evening.
Remus, mortal peril. James is dead. Lily, dead. Sirius, mortal peril. Regulus, dead.
It didn't matter anymore. She knew they were gone.
She ran through the crime scene once more, the bodies that she saw, the finger, the funeral. Dumbledore watched it all. Dumbledore re-lived the moments leading up to Lily and James' death. She let him know every moment of Sirius' life in which he denounced the Death Eaters, every kind moment she could conjure of him and how much he cared about the people he loved.
Above all, Dumbledore took an interest in Regulus' last moments.
When he returned, Eliza was still sitting there shell-shocked.
"You know, when you first came to my house, professor. I thought I had made it too easy to find me. I thought I'd be easy to kill. I was never a fighter, as you saw. I thought that when you came to me, you were ready to finally give me a chance to prove myself…that's why I was so keen on coming back. Maybe there is a taste of adventure left in me."
Dumbledore sat back down. "Eliza, you just gave me the most valuable information you could have given me. Not only regarding Sirius."
"He said he was innocent, but he never said why."
"And why now?" Dumbledore asked.
"Because," she said honestly. "Right now, they are all in the Shrieking Shack." She quickly explained what had happened. It was then that Snape burst into the room, extremely prideful of having caught Sirius Black.
