After Halloween, things go back to the way they were before Quinn made her feelings abundantly obvious. She pines around the house and is convinced that Rachel wants to pretend like it never happened. However, Brittany thinks it's more likely that Rachel is in denial that Quinn could have feelings for her. Despite Rachel's seemingly abundant self-esteem, she thinks very little of herself outside of her vocal and acting talent.
Brittany returns to rehearsing daily, but Mike now has less time to help her, so she often spends hours repeating the same section, only to have no resolution by the end of the day. Santana is also busy working for the theater and rehearsing her own projects for her classes. This leaves barely any time for them to do homework together at the library. Although Brittany insists that she's fine and has everything covered, in secret, she studies so much that everything except dancing takes a back seat. She forces herself to eat regularly, but she knows she isn't drinking enough water or sleeping near enough. What else can she do, though? Slowing down isn't an option.
For the first time since meeting her, Brittany goes three days without seeing Santana. Each of those days, even though Brittany doesn't finish until 3 or 4 AM, she considers going over to Santana's apartment and crawling in bed with her, just to feel her presence. She misses her so badly. Santana is in the same position. She desperately wants to spend time with her girlfriend. Even from their brief phone conversations and texts, she can tell that Brittany is getting more and more stressed out. However, she doesn't know what to do, because Brittany keeps saying that everything is fine.
One night, while at the dance studio, Brittany knows she overdid it. She's been dancing for hours, and when she realizes with a jolt that it's already 11 PM, she knows she has to go. She already cut way into the time she had scheduled for studying. Completely exhausted and disheartened by the knowledge that she'll never get to bed tonight, she bends over to catch her breath. When she stands back up, the world is spinning. Catching herself on one of the barres, she holds herself there until she feels like she can stand without falling. She picks up her bag, then exits the room and starts heading down the hall. Briefly, she has the fleeting thought that she should put her sweatpants and coat on, but as soon as the thought comes, she forgets.
Thinking about all the homework waiting for her and the long night ahead, she can't stop the tears welling in her eyes. She misses Santana so badly, she can feel it throughout her whole body. She'd give just about anything to be in her arms right now. At that moment, she decides that no matter what, she'll see Santana tonight. Even if it's just to hug her, then study for the rest of the night, she'll see Santana. She needs it.
Mike is leaving rehearsal, tired and glad to be heading home to bed, when he accidentally runs right into someone, knocking them to the ground. "Oh my God, I'm sorry! Oh! Britt, are you okay?"
Brittany is sitting on the ground, her bag next to her with its contents spilling out, and making no attempt to get up. Mike reaches out his hand, which she takes, and he pulls her to her feet.
"Hi. I'm just—" she mumbles to herself. "Santana. My legs have cramps." She looks completely destroyed; her eyes are bloodshot, and she's wobbling on her feet. "Bye." With that, she just turns around and walks out.
Staring after her, Mike decides that Brittany is in no condition to be walking anywhere by herself right now. He runs outside, intending to offer her a ride, but doesn't see her. Running back inside to grab his cell phone, he spots her phone and a pair of sweatpants still on the floor. After a moment of deliberation, he picks up Brittany's phone and calls Santana, the course of action that seems to make the most sense. On the fourth ring, he hears a click.
"Baby?" is mumbled sleepily over the phone.
"Hey Santana, it's Mike."
"Where's Britt?! What's wrong?"
"I just ran into her when she was walking out of the studio, and she seemed really out of it, but she mentioned your name. I'm going to walk towards your place and see if I can find her and at least get her to put some pants on."
"She's not wearing pants?!" Santana yells into the phone.
"She was wearing shorts. Santana, she needs sleep and water. She was talking about cramps in her legs."
"Yeah, got it. I need to find her." The phone goes dead. Quickly grabbing his stuff, Mike hurries towards Santana's apartment.
"Where the fuck are my car keys?!" Santana screams into her empty room. Finally, she sees them exactly where she's looked four times already. She grabs them and runs to the front door. Upon flinging the door open, she's shocked and relieved to see that Brittany is already there, sitting just to the side of the door with her bare knees pulled to her chest and her head buried in her arms. "Oh Britt. Baby, are you okay?"
Brittany's head snaps up, and she looks blearily at Santana. "All the lights were out, and I couldn't think of a way to get in and not wake Quinn up. I just want to hug you before I study. I miss you."
Santana helps Brittany up and pulls her teary-eyed girlfriend into her chest. Her first reaction is intense relief that Brittany is safe. Her second is pure joy that she is finally, finally in her arms again. Her third is worry, because Mike was right; Brittany is out of it.
"Baby," she lays kisses to Brittany's hair. "You never need to worry about something like that. Just wake her. She'd be more upset that you were sitting out here with shorts and no coat than she'd be if you woke her."
"How did you know I was out here?"
"You left your phone in the dance building. Mike called me. We can get your phone from him sometime tomorrow. Come inside. You need to get some food and water in you, and baby, your skin is freezing." Santana grabs her bag and helps her inside. "Sit down. I'm going to make you a sandwich. Here's some water." She hands her a bottle. "This feels familiar," she mutters to herself. Once Brittany has gulped most of the water, Santana asks, "What's going on, Britt? Talk to me."
"I'm just studying and dancing so much."
"How much? Be honest with me, how much are you sleeping?"
"You're going to get mad."
"I'm not mad, Brittany. I'm concerned. Now please tell me."
"Like three hours." Brittany looks down, ashamed and a little afraid that Santana is going to get angry. "I'm sorry, I just don't know what else to do."
Santana takes a deep breath. She's frustrated, but she knows she needs to be careful. "Britt, I'm not mad, baby. I promise. Just concerned. But we've talked about this. You can't just stop doing the things you need, like eating and sleeping. Do you think maybe you're overdoing it on the homework a little bit? It shouldn't be this hard, babe."
Brittany looks up at her, tears in her eyes. "But it is this hard. Nothing sticks, Santana. I read it a million times, and it just won't stay in my head. I try so hard." The tears start falling. Santana sets the sandwich in front of Brittany and hugs her. "If I don't get good grades, I lose my scholarship. If I don't dance well, I lose my scholarship. I feel like I lose, no matter what. And if I lose my scholarship, my parents will make me go to business school. I can't do that, San. I would be miserable if I couldn't dance." Brittany's crying in earnest now.
Santana holds her for a few more minutes before gently pulling away. "Eat your sandwich, baby. Here's more water."
"Can I have some juice too?"
Figuring Brittany could use the extra sugar, Santana gets it for her, then sits down next to her.
"I don't want you to get upset, okay? Remember that I'm in no way mad at you. But babe, we need to figure something out. I can't help you if you don't tell me that things aren't okay."
Brittany puts her sandwich down and lowers her head for a second before she looks back up at Santana. "It's not your job to take care of me. I should be able to do it."
"I'm your girlfriend. I lo-like taking care of you." Shit, she almost let it slip. "It is my job, because I make it my job. Babe, please understand that you aren't used to having a support system. When someone cares about you, they help you and do what they can do take care of you. You'd do the same for me, wouldn't you? If things got hard and I was forgetting to eat, you'd bring me dinner, wouldn't you? And make me sleep?" Brittany nods, eyes watering. Santana picks up the sandwich and hands it back to her, urging her to eat. "I think we need to come up with a schedule, set times where we study together, so I can help you. It might mean a little less time dancing, but I promise you—and I know you know this—that if you take care of your body, everything is going to be so much easier. Be more honest with me when you're struggling, and we can both do a better job at taking care of you."
Logically, everything Santana said makes sense, but Brittany is still hesitant. She knows she just needs to get used to having someone care about her the way Santana does, someone who's willing to sacrifice her own time to make Brittany's life easier. Brittany finishes her last bite of sandwich before nodding her head. "Okay. Let's do it."
"Good, but first, sleep. We can work out a schedule tomorrow over lunch. Okay?" Santana takes Brittany's hand and leads her to the bedroom.
"I should shower. I probably smell gross."
"Nope. Get your stinky butt in bed. If you're not in my arms in two seconds, I'm going to start pouting."
Brittany loves how Santana's words can make her melt in any situation as she peels off everything but her underwear and climbs into bed.
Taking the blonde into her arms, Santana pulls her in close. "Sometimes, I feel like it's not possible to get close enough to you. I always want you closer."
Brittany nods into her chest and tangles their legs together. "It'll be so nice to finally take a break over Thanksgiving. I wish I could just stay here." She mumbles sleepily into Santana's chest. "I needed this. I need you."
Santana's breath catches. "I need you too, Britt. Go to sleep, baby." She feels Brittany fall asleep almost immediately. However, she stays awake for a bit, thinking through her schedule and reminding herself to call her mother in the morning to discuss Brittany staying for Thanksgiving. Then, Santana kisses her forehead, silently laughing at the little sleep sounds she's making, before closing her eyes and falling asleep.
The next morning, Santana wakes up to her alarm. Brittany is lying almost completely on top of her, so she struggles to reach her phone and shut it off. Even with the movement and noise, Brittany is still dead asleep. Knowing she's exhausted, Santana briefly considers letting her sleep through class. However, she doesn't want to make Brittany's problems with her schoolwork worse. Deciding she can let the blonde sleep for 15 more minutes, she lays there with Brittany draped across her, running her fingers up and down her naked back.
After the 15 minutes pass all too quickly, she reluctantly starts waking her up with kisses, gentle touches, and soft words. "Let's get up, baby. We need to get you back to your dorm to shower and get ready for class."
Brittany eventually stirs awake. She puts her arms around Santana to hug her close again and kisses her deeply. "Thank you, Santana...for everything. You're amazing. You make every single part of my life better. I promise I'm going to try and balance everything better, and I'll be better at talking about it."
"I'm just glad I can give you a fraction of what you give me." They lay there for a few more minutes, basking in each other and exchanging slow kisses, both grateful for this moment of closeness before the day begins. "Alright babe, we need to get you back, or you're going to be late."
After dropping Brittany off, Santana sits in her car and decides that now is as good a time as any to call her mother. Her mom picks up after three rings.
"Hola mija."
"Morning Mami."
"Everything okay? School is going well, yes?"
"It's fine. I have an easy semester. I'm actually calling about Thanksgiving."
"Okay?"
"Well, I have a girlfriend. We've been together for about two months, and I'd really like for her to come to our home for Thanksgiving."
"You have a girlfriend? Tell me about her."
Santana is a bit surprised. She's never doubted that her parents love her, and they've always been supportive, but she isn't very close with them. "She's...well, she's Brittany. That's her name. She's a dancer and the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She's a little taller than me, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Oh, and the most beautiful laugh, and she says the most amazing things. She's a year younger than me," Santana gushes.
Her mother chuckles, then suddenly goes quiet. "Does she know about your differences, mija?"
"Yes! It didn't even faze her. It's like she doesn't think it's unusual, like girls are born with penises all the time."
Maribel Lopez smiles listening to how happy her daughter sounds. She always hoped this would happen for Santana, desperately wanting a normal life for her. "Are you being—" she clears her throat, "safe, Santana?"
"Mami! Dios mio. We aren't even doing that yet." Santana hisses into the phone. "But when we are ready, Brittany's on birth control."
"I just worry, mija. "
"I know, mami. So, about Thanksgiving?"
"Of course she can come. Your papi and I would love to meet her. Your brothers already have, I assume, when they came to visit." Santana feels bad, knowing her mother feels a little slighted that her brothers knew about Brittany before she did. "Mija, you know you can talk to me about anything, right? I know that I can be distant, but I love you so much, Santana, and I don't want you to ever think any different."
Santana wished she could hug her mother right now. "I love you too, mami. We should try to call more often."
"We should. Okay, I have to go to work. I love you, and I look forward to seeing you and meeting Brittany."
"Uh, I have one more question," Santana says hesitantly.
"You can sleep in the same room, as long as you are respectful of the fact that you are in my and your father's house. Yes?"
"Thank you! I love you and will talk to you soon!"
Her mother laughs. "Goodbye, Santana."
After hanging up, Santana showers and finishes some homework, eagerly looking forward to lunch with her girlfriend.
At lunch, Santana decides to handle business first before asking Brittany about Thanksgiving. Once the girls get their food and a table, they get to work. It takes them nearly 45 minutes to work out a homework schedule that accommodates both of theirs with minimal compromises.
"This looks so much less scary than the schedules I made for myself," Brittany breathes a sigh of relief.
"See what happens when you let me help? Things are better when we do them together." Santana beams at her. Brittany nods, smiling. "So...I actually have something else to talk to you about." Santana begins hesitantly.
"Okay…?"
"What would you think about coming home with me for Thanksgiving break? We can do our super date night in New York, and then go stay at my parents' for the rest of break."
"Yes!" Brittany's already excited, but she's hesitant to get her hopes too far up. "Did you ask your parents already?"
"Mhmm. I'm really excited, B. Time off together. We can do anything you want."
"Anything?" Brittany asks slyly, and Santana feels her dick twitch at the note of seduction in her tone. Apparently, Brittany has been feeling the same way as Santana lately.
"Anything, as long as my parents aren't home."
"Even just laying with you for hours and not having to do anything else sounds amazing. Oh, we could watch movies, San! Or play games and go places! Can you see the beach where you live?"
"We can do anything and everything you want. We can see the ocean and watch a million movies. I don't care, as long as I have you with me."
"I'm excited to meet your family." In her excitement, Brittany has practically crawled into Santana's lap.
Santana nuzzles her face. "They're excited to meet you too. Mmm, you smell good." Brittany giggles as Santana's hair tickles her slightly. The brunette has just one more thing she wants to mention and hopes it doesn't sound strange or too needy. "I want you to know that any time you want to stay over, you can. If you need to sleep over, because you can't stop thinking or because you don't want to be alone—"
"Or because I need you?"
"Or because you need me. You can always come over, okay? I love sleeping with you."
"It's pretty much my favorite thing too."
"So tonight, maybe you could…?"
"Meet you outside the theater when your rehearsal is over and go home with you?"
Santana nods and bites her lower lip. She hasn't known Brittany for very long, but she's already looking forward to the day when she can ask Brittany to move in with her. She can't think of anything that would make her happier than to go to sleep every night and wake up every morning together.
