It took Merlin a few moments to notice that he was no longer in the armoury but outside. He looked to his left to realise… oh god! He felt his handshake and held them so that he could see the palms of his hands. They were soaked in blood. This was in his head! This was in his head! This was in his head! This was in his head! There was no possible way he was here!
IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE!
But it didn't stop it from being the truth. He could taste the air… he could smell the storm that was going to approach. Feel the grass. Feel the heavy weight of a body leaning on his lap.
Merlin looked down in shock. It wasn't Morgana that was laying on him… it was Freya! He had done this… he had killed her!
So, he held her… begging… apologising… trying to find a way. Before he heard Freya swallow deeply and asked a simple question, "Why didn't you save me Merlin?", Merlin tried to open his mouth but for some reason the words that easily flowed a moment ago got stuck in his throat, "You could have taken Arthur apart with less then one blow. You could have stopped him from hurting me… You could have saved me!" Merlin didn't say anything because she was right, he could have- no he should have saved her! "But even after I died Merlin… you couldn't avenge me. ME THE WOMEN YOU CLAIMED TO HAVE LOVED!"
"B…but I did save you. I… I tried my best Freya. I really did!" He tried to reason, before she turned her head away and looked towards the lake.
"And then you brought me here. Forced me into servitude. Never allowing me to pass into the next world… to see my family… my loved ones!" She snapped at him.
"I didn't intend… I didn't intend for that to happen!"
"Oh, but that's what happens, Merlin!" Merlin swallowed deeply, that was Morgana's voice, and he breathed heavily, "You force yourself into everything… and who pays the price? Us! The Fallen! The men and women who have to pick after you! Just because you decided that a dragon who told you had some divine purpose that entitled you to getinvolved in Everyone's affairs!" Morgana knelt down next him and wordlessly healed Freya's wound before helping her to her feet, Merlin sat there stock still in shock just staring at where she used to lay, "You're supposed to be the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk this earth… and you couldn't even heal a little sword wound?!" Merlin swallowed deeply, and focused on the lake, before he felt Morgana's hand grab him by the jaw and looked at him, "Maybe you fell in love with the idea of heart break?" A thought then dawned on him, Who was Morgana to judge me?! Her hands are soaked in blood of the innocent… more than mine at least! Merlin stood up and looked straight at her.
"And maybe you fell in love with the idea of revenge! You can't hold on to a kingdom for a few days without Camelot spitting you out because you are so obsessed with your brother!" He could barely contain his anger as he sent those harsh words at her.
Morgana seemed almost happy to concede that point, "True but who's fault is that I lose the Kingdom?"
"A good ruler would be able to repel any threat, not just turn tail and run away when things get difficult." Merlin spat back. Morgana was quick to anger in the real world, but this Morgana… this Morgana seemed more conniving.
She just gave him a broad smile, "And what will you do when you meet a threat you cannot stop?"
"I guess… I'll try to put a better fight then you, Morgana." Morgana's smile deepened. He felt a woosh of a blade before he managed to duck and, using his magic, grabbed the feet of the swordsman behind him and slammed him to the ground.
The swordsman was at a daze. Merlin kicked the sword away and grabbed the swordman by his Camelotian chainmail… Camelotian?! Merlin looked up too see Lancelot's hate filled eyes, "Lance?" before he felt something sharp pierce his right shoulder. He grunted in pain before he turned to look at the knife that had pierced him in the shoulder. Oof that pain felt real enough!
He then compounded his original mistake with a second mistake, as he didn't see Lancelot's fist heading straight at his jaw.
He laid on top of Lance before he was shoved to one side. Merlin coughed and spat blood to one side for what felt like nth time today.
When he was finally able to look up, he saw that Lancelot was barely standing up and was taking his first step towards the sword. Merlin grabbed and pulled at his foot sending Lancelot back down to the ground. Lancelot turned to face him, anger and frustration filling his face, and he started trying to kick at his head which made Merlin raise his right arm in order to protect it. He felt his arm bruise up and get numb whilst Lancelot's kicks increased in frequency.
As Lancelot's strength returned to him a stupid idea entered Merlin's head. Something Gaius told him never to do under any circumstances whilst stabbed. However, Merlin was running out of time. He held the dagger impaled in his shoulder, and with gritted teeth, he ripped it out. His shoulder widened allowing Lancelot access to kick the point of impact of the blade, which he did.
Merlin winced in pain as he felt the sharp pain before, he grabbed Lancelot by his hamstring and shoved the dagger in the inner side of his knee. He heard Lancelot let out a scream in pain which rippled in his core. With gritted teeth he ripped the dagger out of Lancelot's knee and jumped on Lancelot's body effectively pinning him and putting the dagger across his throat, "Lance, I'm begging you don't make me-!"
"Kill me again?" Lancelot started to cruelly laugh, "You already killed me… or did you forget that?" Merlin didn't say anything, as Lancelot's neck got, dangerously, ever so close to the dagger as his head leaned forward, "You got the idea of sacrifice in my head, and all but pushed me into that veil! How many others did you do that to?"
Merlin was frozen in shock… is that how Lancelot saw it? Merlin shook his head, "I… I never asked you to do it! I was willing to sacrifice my life. But you jumped ahead before I could do anything!"
"You could have pulled me out… You could have stopped me. Or can you only use your magic for Arthur? Can you only use it to protect Arthur? DO YOUR POWERS JUST DISAPPEAR WHEN IT'S NOT ARTHUR?!" Merlin just sat on Lancelot, he tried to speak... In truth Lancelot's argument held no merit… so why? WHY COULDN'T HE SAY ANYTHING TO OPPOSE IT?! He felt his grip on the dagger loosen, his hand was covered in sweat. In fact, Merlin's entire body was covered in so much sweat that he shivered, "Did you hate me so much Merlin?" Merlin looked down to see the anger in Lancelot's eyes turn to heartbreak and sorrow. Merlin knew he had to say something he opened his mouth but Lancelot spoke ahead of him again, "Did you just want me out of the way? What did you want from me?!"Merlin sighed. He had to reason with Lancelot. He couldn't let this opportunity go to waste. So, he stood up and threw the knife away.
"I never wanted you to die. I wanted you to live. I wanted what was best for you Lancelot." He looked down at Lancelot's expressionless eyes, "Do you have any idea how much time I spent wishing… praying to all the higher powers to let me trade places with you?" Merlin gave his left hand to Lancelot to help him to his feet. Lancelot looked at his hand with contempt before he accepted it and he rose him to his feet. They stood looking at each other eyes, "Gwen was inconsolable. She had this strange delusion that she was the one who pushed you to suicide. But we both know the truth. It was me. It was me who pushed you to it. Not Gwen. Not Arthur. ME!"
Lancelot smirked, which felt so misshapen on his face, "So you accept the truth. That it was you who did this to me?"
Merlin stared Lancelot down, "Yeah… I did this to you and I accept responsibility for my hand in your death." Lancelot smiled and let out a crazed maniacal laugh before he shook his head and started to walk towards the lake to which Merlin had no choice but to follow. Lancelot didn't stop until the water was up to his ankles.
"I am here, aren't I?" Lancelot asked so quietly that Merlin nearly missed it, "I mean my body… it literally lays in this lake."
"It does." Lancelot nods his gaze still focused on the mountains in the distance.
"Along with your dead girlfriend." He said in a singalong tone which made Merlin clench his fists. Just when Lancelot was becoming slightly reasonable. With that Lancelot turned around looking at Merlin with a grin, "Nice place you picked out, by the way. The woods, the mountains, the lake… seems like heaven."
"She would have wanted to live somewhere like here… if she had been given the chance." Lancelot scoffed, rolled his eyes, faced the lake, and started to walk further into it.
"Chance, eh Merlin?" Lancelot was now waist deep in the lake and he was wading deeper, "There's no such thing as chance when it comes to you. She was damned from the moment she met you… as was I. As is everyone who meets you!" Lancelot was now neck high, struggling to stay afloat, "We're all damned. Because that's who you are. You drag people to it. You force them… that just because you live in the impossible world where the smallest of decisions could destroy your life that they should be able to keep up with you. Well, the world doesn't-!" That's when the lake finally beat Lancelot and the reality of all this being just an illusion shattered.
He rushed into the lake, diving headfirst. He had to rescue him. He couldn't lose him. He couldn't lose Lancelot again… even if Lancelot hated him. HE HAD TO LIVE!
It took him a few moments before his foot kicked Lancelot's body that receded under murky water. He took one large gulp of air. Before diving back under, he grabbed Lancelot by his arm and tried pulling him to the surface. He felt his muscles tire and weaken due to the enormity of effort he was putting to try and pull Lance. He felt his lungs tighten, and his throat burn as he refused to go to the surface without his friend. He put both hands on Lancelot's arm and his feet on the floor of lake and he pulled. But Lancelot didn't move an inch.
FINE! If Lancelot was to die today… so, will he. Merlin won't abandon Lancelot, not again! They will walk the gates of heaven or hell together!
But the fates had other ideas. He felt his body get pulled out of the water. He was relieved for a moment before he realised the thing wasn't pulling Lancelot out as well. He tried fighting back… but the thing's grip on him was too tight. This thing was strong enough to repel him… but not strong enough to save Lancelot?! Once the thing pulled him to the lake's shore… he coughed up the water he swallowed. He cleared his throat, then took another breath and tried to run back in the lake.
Before, he ended up running headfirst straight into a door. Merlin groaned in pain and rubbed his forehead as he sat on the floor. Wait… Door?! Merlin looked around him and his heartrate accelerate.
