Character Sheet - Mario Caballero Salazar

Species:

Human / Spanish.

Primordial Blooded.

Sex:

Male

Age:

52

Height:

Damn tall. Around 2 meters in height.

Hair:

Messy. Short. Black/Dark.

Eyes:

Blue

Skin:

Fair, but usually tanned thanks to his work outdoors. If he is left idle for long he is slightly pale.

Particularities:

Looks a lot like Super Mario, or Wario, depending on who you ask.

Has a very strong natural odor, probably not helped by his large size and eating habits.

Is a massive troll to everyone. If he treats you seriously then something is wrong, or he doesn't like you.

He is the laziest, most chill person you could find in the family, if he ever stays quiet. Otherwise? See previous point.

He is totally fucking whipped by his wife, but in a good way.

He has a very particular smirk. The bigger and wider it is, the more danger of trolling you are in.

Has a booming voice capable of making your ears ring if you are too close. He has no indoor level of sound.

Interests:

Trolling people.

Good food. Loves garlic, so give him something with that and he is sold.

Being busy at all times, be it with jobs, with friends or whatever.

Watching (not playing) sports.

Getting stronk! Though usually through hard work, not so much training.

He likes comedy films and cartoons, but will rarely see them with anyone.

Loves gardening, sucks at it. Would kill cactus. Makes him sad because he'd love to farm his own veggies.

Magic Affinity (If Applicable):

Unknown.

Attire:

Generally work clothes of any kind: Suspenders, shirts and work shoes. He dislikes fancy.

In his day to day life he usually wears a white shirt and blue pants. If you find him in a funny mood the shirt will be red… do the math with previous data. He may even wear a red cap too.

If forced he will dress fancy. Those clothes are likely not surviving whatever celebration he goes to.

Give him any kind of jewelry, from pendants to necklaces, rings or whatever, and it is going into the trash.

Don't give him any kind of boot. He somehow weaponizes it unless it is a boot for some specific purpose (Like water resistant and such). Don't ask why, he doesn't know why, he just has this compulsion.

Physical:

Portly, tall, muscular, with a mustache to live up to his 'Tito Mario' comparison and a good chunk of scars going everywhere, but mostly around his arms and hands. He is a massive mountain of a man with a muscular frame, a bit of a beer gut that gives him an impressive dad bod, and a genial, mischievous smile generally present on his face. It is usually easy to know how much of a dick he is going to be by how big his smile is and how crooked it becomes as he thinks of a way to screw someone over (gently). For a big eater with a lot of bad habits, he has a clean, white smile and a nose that quickly becomes red with a single sip of alcohol, making his Mario comparison turn even more into a Wario one when any 'funny' drink is available.

Personality:

Friendly, trollish, gaseous, dirty minded and incredibly funny (at least in his own mind). He is the kind of person that would fart besides you and tell everyone it is YOUR fault.

This is the kind of man you want as a friend if you are a man, and the kind of man you want as far from you as you could get if you are a woman. Crude, direct, brutally and disgustingly dirty (though usually not in the naughty sense), a lot of the time smelling of something rotten (It is not his fault; he sweats too much and his smell is pungent) and utterly shameless. But you know what? The guy is loyal beyond comprehension (which also means he gives said loyalty very rarely), and while he IS a clown, he is a clown that will try to make you laugh too if he has the chance. Heck, get on his good side enough and you'll be eating at his table regularly!

Piss him off and you won't be eating again. With teeth anyway. He is an unrelenting ball of anger when someone needs defending and, if you ever touch anyone he cares about, that is going to land you in the hospital for a long while. Considering he only gets pissed off in really serious and dire situations, his overzealousness is usually seen as perhaps just slightly 'excessive', if at all.

Mario is the kind of guy you'd think is far too good to be true once you get to know him in depth. Yes, surface level he is a massive dirty, smelly dick, but that is not the front he uses most of the time. Granted he is an ass (That is not going to change), he loves fart jokes (or using them) and he is uncouth to the extreme, that is the thing most people see. However, when care is provided he doesn't smell (cologne, sweet, sweet cologne), he will STILL troll you, but will have a level of restraint. He is the kind of guy that thinks you need to dish it out as well as you can take it, and if you cannot survive some banter then you sure as fuck cannot survive real life. In that regard he is very gentle when compared to others whose mindset is set on 'Toughen up or fuck off', as Mario will never go overboard, though 'teaching' is not exactly what he is good at.

He is a family man and a hard worker first and everything else second. Most of his family went into politics or some other such occupation, and the vast majority of them, despite him not knowing, were part of The Order. This is something he suspects now, and has a great disdain for the organization. Mario would still welcome talking with his family, despite him being estranged. As someone that never showed much interest for the more 'prestigious' side of things, instead doing odd jobs, construction or whatever came around so as to prove himself, it was no surprise that he was chosen not to be part of it all beyond marrying Rocio. Mario doesn't mind this, and instead sees his decision to partake in the hardest side of life with dangerous and 'simple' jobs as a show of strength and character. His goal from way back when is still very much intact: To share his own views and values with his children, something he has more than managed to do.

The only person he worries about more than his children, and the only one that makes him second guess himself more than his estranged family, is his wife. He will never show it, but he is always worried about displeasing her or making her angry for whatever reason. While he may be a massive ass to everyone and will hardly spare his wife any of his usual shenanigans, she is his whole life and it is no secret that he would end up in a bad place if anything ever separated the two, as such he is only subservient to her, with everyone else having to survive his attitude to get him to do anything (unless you are his boss).

What song or music would fit him:

Dark Skies - Castle Crashers. While Mario can be a massive troll and a funny man, which could be considered a bit the setting of Castle Crashers, the moment shit gets serious you'd be better running for the hills and hope his chubbiness stops him from getting to you. Spoiler: It won't.

Visual Aid (if any):

None yet!