Apophis slithered through the pipes that made up Castle Black-Apophis I's skeleton. There were scales the size of his head littered about, old slices of shed skin. Signs of the interloping old queen. His castle, his domain, was being trampled across by his lesser. He wouldn't stand for it. He couldn't stand for it.

Just like his father and the old one hadn't stood for Magic trying to bully them just now.

He was a king. He was a conqueror. He was Apophis! Son of Hydrus! Son of the greatest wizard in the world, and thus, the greatest snake the world had ever known. There were none who could compare to him, least of all that ancient and forgotten queen hiding away like a cowardly worm.

Apophis was better than her. Hungrier than her. She might be content to just sit down in the pits beneath his land, but he most certainly was not. His forces had already begun to gather, serpents mundane and magical alike were coming together in the forest just outside his castle in preparation for the great siege. Uncle Francis was being too cautious, so he'd been left out of the plans for now, but that was alright.

It was like his father had taught him.

The voice of caution should always echo loudest, even when you must ignore it.

Apophis didn't quite understand why, but his father's words couldn't be wrong.

Soon, things would be different. Soon there would be no further insult to his reign as king of all serpents. Soon there would be just one basilisk reigning supreme over the world. Soon there would be just one, singular, god of serpents.

And that god would be him.


Tonks shivered as soon as they finished apparating. "Fucking hell, where are we?"

She had tried protesting her captain forcing her into this, but the woman wouldn't be swayed. 'You can't just bottle it up,' she had said.

"You'll see," Bones said. "Come on, dear."

Tonks rolled her eyes but allowed the woman to keep leading her towards the creepiest house she'd ever seen. The grass was… No, it wasn't grass, it was vines surrounding the path, and they were a sickly shade of green. The trees were brown like shit with rock-black trunks, and the flowers along the walkway all looked like they were half dead. Where the hell were they?

She was surprised when Bones didn't knock, instead just opening the door and striding in, but she didn't question it. If anyone could get them off for B&E charges, it was the soon-to-be head of the DMLE. It occurred to Tonks two-syllables into what the woman shouted next that she should've recognized where they were by now.

"Sirius!" Bones shouted. "You home?"

'Oh, come on, Captain!" Tonks said. "I don't want to see my—!"

"He isn't." She looked over to see her aunt had stepped into the room, wearing a stately set of robes and a sneer. "What are you doing here, Bones? And hello, niece. Are you alright?"

Tonks pulled back slightly. She wasn't that out of sorts, was she? "I'm fine."

"No you're not, don't lie to me, girl." Tonks stumbled back as her aunt approached her. She was too terrified of the woman to stop her from grabbing hold of her face and squishing it on either side. "What's happened?"

"N-, Nothing," she said. Trying and failing to sound strong. "I, it just, I didn't—"

"She killed a man." Hearing the words from Bones brought the heaving in her breaths back. "Her first."

"Oh. Right. I forget people care about things like that, ah…" Bellatrix had pulled back, gave Tonks a once over like she was some museum piece, and before the auror rookie could say anything pulled her into a hug. "There, there? Sorry, child, I don't really do this much."

Tonks snorted into the woman's shoulder as her aunt continued to squeeze her like a vice, sounding like a confused pedestrian asking for directions. That snort turned to another. And she began to sob.

"Shit, you'll stain my… Oh, fine. Kreacher will clean them up." Her aunt patted her on the back. "Chin up, dear niece. You should talk to Hydrus, not my idiotic cousin."

"Sure, why not," Bones said. "I'm sure she'd love to get advice from a fifteen-year-old boy."

"That 'fifteen-year-old boy' has killed more people than all three of us in this room together." Tonks pulled back, tears streaming down her eyes, and she gave her insane aunt a look that all but uttered that same insult. "And unlike us, presumably, he's killed some who didn't deserve it." Bellatrix hummed. "By his standards, anyway. I think anyone he wants dead deserves it."

"Black…" Bones started. "I don't have time for—"

"Hush." Bellatrix reached up and began wiping away the tears that were still haunting Tonks's cheeks. "This is now a family matter. Kreacher! Bring Hydrus here."

'Morgana's cunt,' Tonks thought as she pulled away, wiping her nose on her sleeve. 'Please no.'

Hydrus was just about the last person she wanted to see. Ever since the teen strolled into her life it had been one thing after another after another after another. If her aunt expected her to just accept some patronising and insulting hug from her future 'uncle' the same way she had for Bellatrix, then the woman—

"Alright, alright!" She jumped at the sound of Hydrus's voice. "Settle down, Kreach. I'll take care of it."

The teen walked in, and she cringed at the sight of him struggling to put a tee-shirt on. It had never occurred to her that he might have trouble getting dressed with just the one hand. Her relative looked… Good. Surprisingly so. His skin had a healthy glow to it that she'd never realised he might be missing, he'd filled out even more since she'd last seen him, and the plain clothes he was wearing did a lot to take the edge off his usual, disturbing intimidation.

"Sorry," he said as he finished pulling down the shirt. "It was all I could do to get him to let me put on pants and trousers first. Amelia! Glad you're here. Don't leave, move in."

"Excuse me?"

"Sirius is worthless now that he's back together with you." He wrapped an arm around Bellatrix and pulled her into a kiss on the cheek. "He comes home late, does half the work he should, and you're the only woman who can keep him in line. Move in, or I'll forbid him from ever staying the night at your place again."

Tonks's eyes shot towards her boss in time with the conversational spike Hydrus had just lobbed at her.

"I didn't realise you owned my boyfriend," the auror captain said, venom and sarcasm dripping from her words in equal measure. "Perhaps I'll have him ground you, since you are a child."

Tonk's eyes returned to her mother's cousin's son, waiting to see how he returned fire.

"Take the olive branch before I stab you with it," he said. "Move in, and help Sirius grow into the man you deserve. Or don't, and quit fucking ruining me trying to make him into the father I deserve."

Her whole head snapped back towards Bones, awed by Hydrus's absolute refusal to be cowed by the terrifying woman's vitriol.

"You manipulative shit, do you think I don't know what you're doing?" Bones folded her arms over her chest. "You don't want him to be the 'father you deserve'." She had switched to a rather insulting voice to ape Hydrus's. "You just want him to break his back trying to carry a burden that he never wanted."

Oh god, that was a good move. Hydrus had already begun his retort by the time her attention got back to him though.

"I didn't want him to have it either, but the stupid bastard refused to leave me alone, and who's fault is that?" Hydrus puffed up but even if he had put on a few pounds since Tonks had last seen him, it still wasn't very physically impressive. "You're the one who encouraged him to keep trying. You're the one who tried to make his idiotic dreams come true. This is all your fault. So own up to it, and move in already!"

"No!" Bones shouted. "Just to spite you, no."

"Fine." Hydrus snapped his fingers, and his next words nearly deafened Tonks. "Giannis! Get down here!"

"Oh you little—"

"Hydrus!"

Tonks couldn't keep track of the battle anymore. A little boy had appeared at the top of the stairwell nearby, and was galloping down them just a hair faster than the shaggy black dog nipping at his heels. The kid, 'Giannis' she could only assume, lept into Hydrus's arms and they both nearly collapsed when the dog did so as well. Aunt Bellatrix watched it all with a smile that reminded Tonks of her mother.

"Good to see you, kiddo," Hydrus said. "And look who's here! It's Miss Bones!"

Giannis's head whirled around, and Tonks snorted when he elbowed Hydrus in the temple jumping away from him. The dog remained where it was and began to lick the Hydrus's 'wounded' forehead.

"Miss Bones!" Giannis said, wrapping his arms around Tonks's boss's legs. "I missed you! I love you!"

"Oh, uh." The woman swallowed and Tonk's bit her lip at seeing her so uncomfortable. "I love you too, dear."

"Giannis!" Hydrus said. "You'll never believe it. Miss Bones said she's moving in!"

Tonks, her aunt Bellatrix, and Bones all snapped their heads towards him. The rookie auror's jaw dropped at the audacity.

"Yes!" Giannis cried. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Miss Bones! You won't regret it! I promise I'll be good, I promise you won't ever have to leave me alone again."

'Holy shit,' Tonks thought. 'Where the fuck did this kid come from?'

"I… I won't, dear." The captain lifted the boy up into her arms, pressed his head into her shoulder, then glared so deeply into a smirking Hydrus's eyes that Tonks wasn't sure the teen's head wouldn't explode. "Hydrus made sure of that."

"He's the best." Giannis let go of 'Miss Bones'. "I'll go get rid of all the dirty clothes and junk in Sirius's room! Come on, Argus!"

The boy took off like a bat out of hell up the stairs, and the dog in Hydrus's arms looked at him. Hydrus gave a nod, sat it down, and it took off right after the kid. It would've all been rather adorable if it weren't for—

"I am going to kill you." Captain Bones had strode across the room till she was nose to nose with Hydrus, and Tonks didn't miss the way her aunt's wand was gripped tight in her hand at the other woman's approach. "That was dirty fucking pool, Hydrus."

"I'll do whatever it takes to make this family function," he muttered back at her. "Welcome to the fold, Bones."

"Cunt." Tonks snorted at the captain's vulgarity. "You!"

"Me?" Tonks said, holding up her palms. "I didn't do anything!"

"I saw you smiling." Bones stomped over to her now, sending a wave of fear down her spine. "I will see you at work tomorrow, seven sharp. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, ma'am!" She shouted out of habit. "B-, but I'm still—"

"I'm going to get my things."

Captain Bones stormed out of the house, slammed the door shut behind her, and a chill settled over the home. Tonks turned back to her relatives, both of whom stared after Bones for a moment, then at each other, before they gave matching shrugs.

"Well done, dear," Bellatrix said. She gave him a kiss. "It was very dirty though. I love it."

"Hydrus?" a voice said, and Tonks jumped. Giannis had somehow crept up on them, back down the stairs, and his dog was peeking out from behind him. "Did I do well?"

"You were marvellous, kiddo." Hydrus spread his arms out as Giannis ran into him with a hug. "Played your part to perfection."

"Cus I meant it!" Giannis said, pulling away. "I mean, I don't like that you lied to Miss Bones, but I want her to live here too."

"Wait." Tonks shook her head. "Was the kid in on it?"

"Of course not, that's why I'm so proud of him," Hydrus said. "He pulled her strings like a marionette, the little improv king."

"Yeah!" Giannis agreed. "What's a mary-uh-net?"

What the fuck was this family? Aunt Bellatrix was picking the boy up, and giving him eskimo kisses that earned a peal of giggles. The dog had plopped itself down firmly atop Hydrus's feet. Hydrus was… The weirdo was rubbing his arm with an impressed frown.

"Why did I come here again?" he asked. "Oh right. Tonks!" She stiffened. "You sad? Upset? Miserable?"

She sputtered. "I mean… Yeah? I…. I killed someone."

"You aren't crying."

"I was."

"But you aren't now, are you?" Hydrus asked. She squirmed even more as his storm-grey eyes burrowed into her soul. God the teenager was creepy. "You know why?"

"Why?" she asked, cringing. This was awful. "Why, oh great sage of wisdom?"

"Cus you're distracted." She blinked. "Bones brought you here to talk to Sirius. He's killed a bunch of people. You know what he does to avoid the pain?"

Her mouth moved, but Hydrus's words came before her own could muster up the courage.

"He distracts himself." The teen held up his hand like he was displaying something. "Before he met your boss, he drowned himself in liquor, smothered himself in pleasure, and became a part of the only family he thought wanted him.

"I bet you drink, Tonks." She wrinkled her nose at the judgy accusation. "Admittedly I'm thinking you have a below-average sex life on account of your trepidation towards others' intents based on your gifts, so you don't quite have that going for you."

"Oh no, don't you fucking—"

"And you spend just about every waking moment you can with your parents, whom you claim to have a grudge against because of them naming you Nymphadora." She swallowed her spit. "So you have distractions too. Keep doing what you're doing, lass. In time, one of two things will happen.

"You'll either get over the fact that you killed someone, because they deserved it. Or you won't, if they didn't. And you'll do what everyone else does." Hydrus began to pet the dog who was definitely too big to be carried the way he was doing. "You'll find distractions. You're always welcome in my home. You'll always be welcome in your parents' home. You're too damn fun to not have any boyfriend you want. We have a killer liquor selection here. I know a wide array of people who can help you get into any hobby you want."

Tonks nodded, surprised that she wasn't completely dismissive of his advice. It all sounded about right. When she'd first met Hydrus she'd been unimpressed. Then she'd been terrified. Then she didn't know what to think about him. Now, as he was bumping heads with 'Argus' and grinning a boyish smile, she was starting to see why everyone put up with him.

"I know I'm a bit much at times," Hydrus said quietly. "But I will always be there for you, Tonks. You're my family. Now and always."

She coughed out a laugh. "Yeah, I heard my mum is coming back to the Blacks."

"Even if she wasn't." Hydrus pulled away from Argus. "You don't have to say yes, but if you want, I'll adopt you into Slytherin. I meant to give you the offer earlier and it totally slipped my mind. I know you don't want to be a part of the legacy that crushed your mother, so come start a new one. Please?"

Tonks shook her head no. That was all she could do in the whirlpool of emotion that was surrounding her at the moment. God, one moment she was a bad-ass auror, killing a drug dealer who had tried to kill her, and the next…

"Alright, cousin." Hydrus turned away from her, hiding his face. "You wanna know something?"

She rolled her eyes at the soft, gentle tone he'd spoken in. "For fucks sake, I'm not a child."

Patronising little shit.

"Yeah, nobody ever believes me when I say that either. But!" She no longer saw why people put up with him. "I confess. I didn't actually forget to ask you. I was just scared you'd say no. I really want you to be a part of this, Tonks."

She pulled back slightly. "Really?"

"Yeah." He nodded, still facing away from her. "Yeah there's… There's a few people that I've been wanting to ask, and haven't had the courage to do it. You'd be just the… Fourth, maybe fifth, member? And a family needs more than that."

She snorted. "I've only ever known a family of three."

"I know. You ready for a hell of a lot more than that?" Hydrus asked. "Cus believe me, I'm starting to rev up those engines."

"What do you know about engines?" she asked. "Pureblood snob."

"Oh you have no idea." Hydrus turned back around, frowned, then looked down at the dog in his arms. "But I ask again. Will you join House Slytherin, even if only so you don't have to wear the Black family's crest on your uniform?"

Tonks sighed. This was not what she'd come here for. Still, her mother was getting impatient with her…

"Fine."

"Good. Now!" Hydrus lifted Argus up high into the air, still frowning. "When did I pick you up again?"

The dog cocked its head to the side, sending its tongue lolling out of its mouth. Tonks laughed. She couldn't help it. She hadn't noticed when he first picked it up again either; it was like him and the shaggy black dog were one and the same with how well they fit together.

"What's his name? Argus?" she asked. She thought she remembered Giannis calling it that. "He seems to like you."

"Yeah, and yeah too much." Hydrus sat the dog down and it immediately got up on its hind legs to lean its front ones on his stomach. "He's a grim. Cus of course Giannis wouldn't bring home a normal puppy."

"A what?" Tonks froze and the dog's head snapped towards her. The grim trotted over to her and sat down, panting as it looked up at her with its tongue still hanging out of its mouth. "A grim?"

"Mm." Hydrus grinned as the dog stretched up and now she was the victim of its leaning. God she wished it would get off her. "Omen of death. Ferocious and vicious, dangerous and deadly… You're gonna die, Tonks!"

The dog woofed and she screamed. She'd thrown her hands over her face, completely forgetting about her wand, and froze up. Then when she wasn't suddenly killed, it occurred to her she was an idiot. Oh god.

"You asshole." She gently pushed the grim's paws off her, wincing as it licked her face when she got too close. "Ugh. Why'd you scare me?"

"To prove you've got your mother's genes," Hydrus said. He snapped his fingers and caught the grim's attention so it trotted back to him and he immediately lifted it up. "Not a lot of 'em, you lucked out and take a lot after Ted, but it's in ya. This one here loves this family's magic, so I was curious if startling you might make the connection more noticeable to… Him. God damn it, I picked him up again, didn't I?"

Tonks laughed. "Jesus, Hydrus. Aren't you supposed to be some tough, rough-and-tumble Triwizard champion?"

"Don't be jealous of me and my hellhound." Hydrus sat the grim down and it shot a few furtive glances around to read the room before plopping down on top of Bellatrix's feet. "It's nearly eleven at night, but, do you want to stick around for a while?"

"Nah, no." Tonks shook her head. "I think I got everything I needed here, thanks though." Hydrus nodded at her. "Can I… Can I ask you a favour?"

"Name it."

"Could you make some time for the Black Sheep to train with me?" she asked. "I love Captain Bones, I really do, but… But I want the best."

Things didn't have to go the way they had today. She should've been better. She shouldn't have needed to kill the perp. They'd been tracking him down for weeks, Bones gave the approval for the bust, and Tonks, Chopra, and Moss had all gone in for the take down. The son of a bitch had drawn his wand, Tonks had pulled hers back for an Expeliarmus, but then… Then the perp began to cast. His first syllable was 'Av', so she'd changed the spell she was working. The next was 'ad', so she'd sent the blasting hex forward. The last sound he'd managed was 'ah', and by the time he was readying up the next, his head had smashed against the wall he was standing in front of. His skull and skin had cracked. Blood had exploded out. Tonks had become a murderer.

If she was better. If she was more clever. If she had been better prepared. She could have cast something that would have stopped him and pulled him forward. He wouldn't have bashed his fucking brains out against the wall. The piece of shit didn't have to die, but because she'd been too stupid to stop it, he had—

"Hey, hey, hey." Hydrus's voice had cut through her thoughts and she locked up when he hugged her. "You stopped distracting yourself again. That's no good."

"So what?" she demanded. Tonks shoved Hydrus away and he stumbled a step back. "Am I supposed to distract myself for the rest of my life? Pretend like I didn't fucking—"

Her impromptu, vitriol-filled speech was cut short when her aunt shoved a wand into her throat. Tonks croaked as she was unnecessarily reminded of the fact that Bellatrix Black was the most dangerous woman in the world.

"If you ever lay your hands on my little water snake like that again," the woman hissed. "I will end you, niece or not. I've tried to kill my sister before. Not your mother, my other sister, but still. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes," Tonks managed. The wand pulled away. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, your aunt is insane," Hydrus said. "We get a bit touchy. C'mere, Bella."

Her aunt spun around stepped back into Hydrus's grasp. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. Now, Tonks." She straightened up. "You're staying here for the night, so if you want to see your mum and dad, invite them over."

"Excuse me?"

"You sound just like your captain. Now, invite or don't, I don't care." Hydrus snapped his fingers again. "Family game night. I've just sent Kreacher to raid the Potters' place, I know they'll have some.

"And while he's doing that I'll go fix some snacks." He kissed Bellatrix for what felt like the thousandth time since Tonks had arrived, god they were gross. "Keep an eye on our 'prisoner', dear."

"Of course."

Tonks rolled her eyes as the teen wandered off. "The two of you can't be serious, Bell—"

"Aunt Bella," the woman corrected. "We use titles in this family, niece."

"Oh for the love of…" Something occurred to Tonks. "Good thing I'm not a part of this family anymore."

"We use them in Slytherin as well." Her aunt tossed her hair over her shoulder. "If anything you'd have to refer to me as Lady Bellatrix were you not my niece, so be grateful."

The only thing that saved Tonks from lashing out at the sheer, unbridled arrogance pouring off the woman was the slowly-forming bruise in her throat. Bellatrix Black was widely considered to be the most dangerous woman in the entire world, perhaps the greatest female duelist in centuries, and had already shown that she had no problem resorting to violence at a pin drop.

"Hey, it's Nymphie!"

'Oh no.'

"What's my favourite cousin-niece-relative-thing doing here?" the Black Sheep asked, stepping out of the floo. "I hope my least favourite cousin-daughterinlaw-relative-thing wasn't bothering you too much."

"Shut up," Bellatrix snapped. "You're annoying."

"I'm aware." He winked at Tonks. "You should try annoying her some time, it's fun."

"Knock it off, you two." Hydrus had returned carrying a platter of meats and cheeses and crackers. "Sirius, Tonks had her first—

"Gross."

"Her first kill you fucking…" He mumbled the rest as he sat the platter down on the den's centre table. "So act like an adult for once. Show some sympathy. Then, when she's ready, help Bones train her so that she can be more selective in who she kills."

Be more selective. What a cold and clinical way of putting 'so she doesn't fuck it up again'. Maybe Hydrus really did have a lot more kills than she had once thought possible.

"Oh. Yeah, yeah of course." Sirius shook his head. "C'mere, kiddo."

He held out his arms and she wrinkled her nose. "I'd rather not, thank you."

"Yeah, I tried hugging her and she assaulted me," Hydrus said. "Me, a cripple, can you believe that?"

"Such a shame," Sirius said, heaving a dramatic sigh. "Her mother should have raised her better."

Before Tonks could snap at either of her two most awful relatives, Bellatrix had somehow come around behind her and started guiding her into a couch. "You need to eat, child."

"I'm not a child, and I don't have the appetite," Tonks said. "Aunt."

"Eat something anyways, I brought out something light for you to nibble on for a reason," Hydrus said. "If you end up puking later, you don't want to do it on an empty stomach. It's bad for you."

"Listen to him," Sirius said. "He knows medical stuff, I know puking stuff, we both agree you should eat."

Tonks snorted but did as she was told. There was no fighting the chaotic maelstrom that was this family. While she ate, the rest of them started talking about what Sirius had been up to, something about an after-hours family gathering between him and a few of his friends on the other side of politics like her superior's father, Potter, and Captain Longbottom. Apparently they were going to make some big push towards coconut charcoal, whatever the hell that meant.

"Freeze!" a voice shouted from nowhere. "Nobody—, ah shit!"

Tonks hadn't even come close to drawing her wand before a hole almost exactly the size of the same Potter she'd just been thinking about appeared beside the genuine article. James Potter was standing in front of the floo, face pale as snow, a grumpy looking house elf standing beside him clutching… Monopoly? Had Hydrus actually sent 'Kreacher' to raid the Potter family's game closet?

"Don't do that," Hydrus said, tucking his wand back up into his sleeve. "You could've gotten yourself killed."

"Yeesh." The senior auror started to brush himself off. "I didn't realise you perps were armed and dangerous."

"Then you're a bigger idiot than even I thought." Hydrus waved his hand at the man dismissively. "Please, spare us all the worn out bit where you do a theatrical impression of an overzealous auror here to arrest us all for borrowing your board game."

"That only makes me wanna do it more."

"Why isn't he dead?" Bellatrix asked. "The wards should've eviscerated him by now."

Sirius grunted. "I had Remus update them."

"What?"

Tonks leaned back into the couch and began rubbing at her forehead. Bellatrix and Sirius were now arguing with one another, James and Hydrus were trading barbs that were growing in both severity and vulgarity, and Kreacher was just rearranging the table to set up the board game. God what she wouldn't give for a beer…

"Here's you is, Miss Tonks."

She jumped. Another house elf was standing beside her now, holding out a brown bottle with condensation dripping down its side. With a cocked eyebrow, Tonks took it and sniffed it. Definitely beer.

"Who're you?"

"Dobby!" he answered, beaming at her. "Dobby is House Slytherin's elf. If you is needing anything, just ask!"

He saluted, drawing a wince from the junior auror with how hard his hand slapped his head, then popped away.

"But I didn't even ask this time…"

Before the weirdness of that could sink in, the insult war between Potter and Hydrus boiled over.

"My mother? My mother? Well your mother was an inbred, unwed, slag who was so ugly the only man in the world blind and dumb enough to sleep with her was Sirius!"

The Black Sheep's magic exploded out of him like a boom of thunder, nearly sticking Tonks's hand to her beer with how cold the room became, and he more growled than said, "Watch it, James. His mother's dead."

The terror he had almost successfully invoked was woefully undercut by Bellatrix suddenly cackling. Tonks's aunt practically doubled over as peals of laughter and giggling continued to pour out of her.

"Why are you laughing?" Sirius demanded. "He just—"

"Bella," Hydrus started. "Bella! Bellatrix!" She kept laughing. "Damn it, woman…"

"What?" Potter asked in a mocking tone. "Mad your girlfriend thinks I'm funnier than you?"

"Oh no, no no no no no," Bellatrix said, still snorting and shaking with laughter. "That is not it at all."

"What then?"

She just resumed her cackling.

"Don't encourage her!"

Tonks sighed and finished off her beer by chugging it down. Now Bellatrix and Hydrus had begun an uncomfortably gentle 'wrestling' match as he tried to get her to stop laughing, while James and Sirius had begun arguing over whether or not it was fair to 'return fire' in a mom insulting contest when one of the participants' mothers was dead.

"What the fuck is going on here?"

Tonks looked up to see Captain Bones had returned, a large bag slung over her shoulder.

"I don't even know anymore."


Apophis stared down at his army from the tree he was wrapped around. He'd felt his father leave then return a few hours later, and that had been plenty of time for his forces to gather. There had to be at least thousands… No, there were definitely tens of thousands of snakes gathering before him. There had been some creatures who tried to stop the gathering, but he and his had destroyed them.

There was nothing that could stop him now.

"We move soon!" he cried. "I can no longer suffer the insufferable! I can no longer bear the unbearable! I can no longer wait for the inevitable!"

His subjects hissed in approval, and the sound was like a thousand gaskets letting loose geysers of molten steam. His pride roared back at them. They were his. They belonged to him. He belonged to them. He and he alone was their one true god.

"Tomorrow at dawn!" he cried. "I shall summon my father, and with our lord, we shall move as one! We shall destroy the old queen!"

The hissing chorus grew even louder. The sound practically bled into his sight. The lot of them might've been cold blooded, but the passion rising up from all of them was blindingly hot. They were unstoppable.

"Rest and prepare yourselves, my servants!" His feathers rose up high, and along with them went the volume of the crowd. "Our march is upon us! The tide is changing and the dawn is rising! Let none stand in the way of Apophis and his glorious purpose!"


"Little shit cheated," Sirius said, arms folded behind his head as Amelia got into bed beside him. "I just know he did."

"Hydrus was the only one not cheating," she said, cuddling up to him. "Bellatrix did it for him."

"Not everyone, I didn't cheat!"

"I saw you palm that go to jail card."

He grumbled but couldn't come up with a lie in time to deny it. "Whatever."

"Ugh." She buried her face into his shoulder and he pulled her in closer. "I have to be up at six, I'm barely gonna get four hours of sleep."

"Yeah…" He began running his hand down her side. "How about just three hours and forty five minutes?"

She sat up a bit and looked down at him, lip curled and an expectant look in her eyes.

"I mean… Three and a half hours?"

"Better."

His own smile grew far more intense as she began to slide on top of him, until a knock came at the door. A very familiar knock. A knock that stole the wind from his sails, the smile from his face, and the blood back from a certain part of his body.

"Yeah, Giannis?"

Amelia slumped back over onto the bed and Giannis came bustling in. He clambered up onto the mattress and Sirius felt the 'ooph!' his girlfriend let out when Giannis climbed over her to settle down between them. The boy destroyed any last intimacy they had by throwing up the sheets and comforter to get underneath them, wriggling about like a landed fish.

"I wanted to ask you guys something."

"Yeah?"

"How come Hydrus is missing his hand?" Sirius winced. "He fixes everything else, how come he doesn't fix his hand?"

"It got cursed off," Sirius answered. "Dark magic can't be healed properly. Best you can do is take some potions, and wait it out."

"So… It'll never grow back?" the Greek boy asked. "No matter what?"

"If anyone could grow it back, it'd be Hydrus." Sirius tried to get comfortable once more. "Ain't no one who knows more about healing than him, so if he can't get it done…"

"What about replacing it?" Giannis asked. "Why not get a prosetic or whatever they're called?"

"Ask him." He rolled over away from the kid. "I don't know why he doesn't have a hook hand."

"Probably too stubborn," Amelia said. "Would rather look wounded than compromising."

"Come on," Sirius muttered. "He's been through a lot. If he doesn't want a fake hand, then just leave it."

"You're wrong." Giannis's voice hung in the air for a moment, his tone unnervingly authoritative for an eight-year-old. "He just hasn't found the right hand yet. He won't take just any hand. It has to be perfect."

"I'm… sure he'd like any hand, kiddo," Sirius said, trying to forget the little nugget of knowledge Hydrus had given him about the boy's future. "It just isn't possible."

"I can make it…" Giannis snuggled up to him. "Just need… yeah and some… Maybe…"

The boy's plotting and planning faded away into silence. Once Sirius was certain he was sleeping, he shifted up and twisted slightly to try and catch Amelia's eye. His love was staring right back at him, like she'd just been waiting for him to catch up.

'What the fuck does that mean?' he mouthed. Her shrug assured him he wasn't alone. 'Crazy…'

Amelia drew closer to Sirius and draped her arm over him and Giannis both. The warmth of both her and Giannis pressing against him was smothering, but certainly not in a way he minded. He never could've imagined having anything but a lonely, cold night in a place like the Black summer home in the past.

Just a year or so ago he was hiding the fact that he had a son from his friends and feeling like he was going to explode under the sudden pressure. Now he was coming up with a daycare plan for the kid his kid adopted, negotiating with Molly Weasley to get her to accept payment for such a thing, and playing Monogamy or whatever that stupid muggle game was with James, Hydrus, and more. Six months ago he was going without sleep because of an ongoing manhunt for what turned out to be his own estranged brother. Now he was staying up late for the sake of cheering up his formerly-estranged niece.

'What the hell are you doing to me, Hydrus,' he thought. 'Pretty soon they're gonna call me domesticated.'


"Father!" Apophis cried. "Awak—"

His father's hand snapped out and wrapped over his head like a python's grip. Apophis thrashed about, unable to open his mouth or eyes, panic settling in. He suddenly imagined the giant sea serpent that Nikau the taniwha had strangled in his gargantuan hands, and fear continued to build up inside of him as his father's grip didn't relent.

"What the…" the human said. "Apophis?"

He released him and the future god of serpents began shaking his head, trying to get his feathers to return to their more natural positions.

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "It is I, come to—!"

"Don't ever wake me again." Apophis cringed back. "I could've killed you. What is it?"

Trying to reclaim some of his pride following that indignity, he propped himself up higher.

"It is time, Father," he began. "You shall assist me in leading the glorious battle against the old queen! We shall defeat her in combat, break her spirit, and drive her from my home!"

"…No." His father laid back down in the bed, and pulled his coverings back up to his head. "And if you ever wake me up this early again I'll skin you and make boots from the leather."

Well that was rude. And terrifying.

"We have no choice," Apophis hissed."My army is gathered, and they must march."

"For fucks…" His father threw off the coverings and used his excess limbs to get out of the bed. "Come on."

Apophis faded himself from human sight and followed. It was always a complicated process to get onto his father's shoulders when he walked. Trying to stretch, slither, and wrap all at once was no easy task. Not without accidentally strangling the human, anyways.

"Take me to your so-called army," his father said. "I'm guessing they're in the forest?"

Glad to see his father was finally onboard with the plan, Apophis guided him out of his castle and into the nearby trees. Already he could hear his forces whispering, a sound that brought pride to his heart, though for some reason his 'master' was feeling more and more annoyed, if their link was anything to go by.

"Holy shit, kiddo, how many snakes did you get?"

"They have come from far and wide to serve my glorious purpose," Apophis hissed in delight. "An army the likes of which has never before been seen."

"I've seen bigger," his father no doubt lied. "Fuck I hate having to use this with parseltongue…" Use what? "Sonorous."

"What does that mean?"

"Everyone!"

Apophis nearly fell off of his father with how loud his voice had become. The human's hissing had sounded like it had come from a serpent large enough to make his Uncle Francis look like a worm, and it had touched a more instinctual side of his soul and left him terrified. His feathers wouldn't stand up at all, even as humiliating as it was to cower before his army.

Luckily, they all seemed as scared if not more so.

"I, and my… Familiar, have no need for your services. Return to whence you came." His father's voice could probably be heard from miles away. "Be gone before the sun next rises, or you shall never see another."

"F-, Father!" Apophis protested. "You can't!"

"I can and I am," he said, voice much quieter now. "We'll go to the Chamber of Secrets tonight and put this to bed." His father turned and started hard-walking back to the castle. "I can't believe I let this get so out of hand, there probably isn't a rodent alive for a hundred kilometres…"


Hydrus turned a page in his textbook, transfigured to look like a more ancient and grimoire-esque book for the sake of his image, and tried to ignore the trembling rope of petulant anger and immature outrage wrapped around his shoulders. Apophis hadn't spoken to him since this morning, which was probably a good thing considering how annoyed he was with the reptile. Students were milling around them as the Study Club continued on, practising their wand work on one side of the hall, reading and writing on the other.

They had expanded the space even further before the club resumed so they'd stop working on top of one another, and that had given way to a few more areas being added. A corner of the quiet side was now dedicated to a miniature 'lecture' space where tutors could go over subjects that had troubled students or let younger years get a sneak peak at what was to come if they wanted to sit in. There were also a pair of cauldrons large enough to make an army's worth of stew to the side of Remus's out-of-office space, with scales and knives and other such things in a kitchen-counter-esque set-up between them.

A new addition had been added in the lane-space that had been created, four mirrors that would reflect any spell cast on them. Each piece was worth its weight in gold, and they weighed a lot. They were meant to both train reaction speed, as well as to give students the chance to practise counter-curses and counter-jinxes on themselves without worrying about a partner casting the original spell they needed to ward off too hard or too weak.

The bookshelves on the quiet side had also been upgraded. In addition to tracking which books were being borrowed more frequently than others for Pince's stocking requests, it also now had the ability to connect with other libraries, including Flourish and Blotts' stock. Renting outside of the school's tomes required the other side to have given their permission to the individual student, or in the case of bookstores, approval from any one of either Hydrus, Remus, Dumbledore. The books themselves, if purchased, would then be added to Hogwarts' library when the student was finished with it.

There was just one, singular part of the Study Hall that Hydrus was truly proud of though, and also most paranoid for.

The WWW emblem hanging above his head.

He'd gotten the help of Dumbledore, Remus, and even Hermione to add every sort of protection charm to it they could possibly think of. There wasn't a more heavily guarded artefact in the entire world as far as he could think of. At the start of the year he'd been as confident in the sign as he was his own wand, but the Weasley twins had yet to even make an attempt at destroying it.

That was nerve wracking.

"Hydrus?"

He looked up from his book. Pansy Parkinson was standing before him, looking like the cat who'd caught the canary.

"Yes?"

"I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that my father has agreed to invest in the werewolf colony," she said. "All it cost was for a street to be named in our honour, a favour from the colony to be named later, and of course." Pansy batted her eyelashes. "A return on investment."

'What a poor, poor survival instinct this girl has,' Hydrus thought as Bella's beautiful, madness-filled grey eyes came to mind. "Well done. How would you like another job?"

The girl blinked. "What?"

"You've proven yourself useful, more so than I initially gave you credit for." He flicked a page in his book, trying to make clear how disinterested he was. "Would you like another opportunity to prove your worth?"

"I, er, I, yes?" It took the poor thing a moment to recover. "I mean, of course. What do you need?"

"I need this done with subtlety and without a hint towards my hand in it," Hydrus started. "I want Potter, the eldest, to try and challenge me. I have a game in mind but want him to think the spark was his." He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Can you get that done for me?"

Pansy scoffed. "Of course. I'll be right back."

Hydrus watched her leave, wondering if he'd regret passing on the job to her, but returned his attention to the textbook quickly. It would only cause further, and more dangerous, problems if anyone thought he was staring at her. Who knew how many eyes and ears his fiancee still had in the school.

Besides, it wasn't like she was going to be able to succeed tonight. There were barely thirty minutes left for club time, and knowing the way Pansy liked to gossip and dally, she wouldn't even be finished bragging about her success and praise by the time it was over. He turned back a page in his textbook to read what he'd skipped.

In the thirteenth century, auspiciously, the thirteenth goblin rebellion began. A goblin who's name has since been lost to time murdered Lord Percival Greengrass II in what the inhuman beings called a duel, and what more civilised minds call a knife in the back. Despite initial offers to pursue peace involving reasonable sums of money and the head, attached or otherwise, of the murderer, wizardingkind was eventually forced to act. The first battle…

"Oi!"

Hydrus looked up to see his younger self stomping towards him. 'Holy shit she works fast.'

His younger self had gotten a bit taller since they'd last met, and apparently hadn't gotten a haircut. On his chest was a prefect badge that Hydrus couldn't help but wonder if he himself would've gotten if he'd made it to his fifth year in the original timeline. When he was just a few steps away, the teen folded his arms over his chest.

"Got a question for you, god-brother," Harry said. "Who died and made you head of the Study Club?"

"Well," Hydrus said. "If I told you, I'd have to kill you as well."

"Right," he said with a snort. "Seriously though, is it just because you have more money than the rest of us?"

"I'm sure that's part of it," Hydrus said, unaffected by the taunt. "I did pay for everything in this room after all. Beyond that though, I'm also the most talented person in the entire school."

"Please," Harry said. "Hermione is way smarter than you, and—"

"Come off it, mate," Ron said. The redhead had come up behind Harry and was taking him by the shoulder. "It's not that big of a deal."

"It is!" Hydrus's younger self argued. "If I have to put up with Parkinson coming around to pester me about how to get closer to Sirius so she can get with Hydrus just because 'the head of the club said she can do whatever she wants', then he has to put up with me."

The grown man in a teenager's body wasn't sure whether or not to be proud of or annoyed by the girl's plot. On one hand, it had worked to perfection. On the other hand, gross.

"What, Potter?" he started. "You think the Triwizard champion isn't good enough to lead a little school club?"

"I think it's unfair that you got picked without the members choosing for themselves," Harry replied easily. "What, is that kid you and Sirius picked up going to take over when you graduate?"

'He might…'

"This may not be a democracy, but it is a meritocracy," Hydrus said. "Do you think you can do a better job?"

"Anyone might." Harry gave an exaggerated showing of his palms. "At the very least, I wouldn't let people do whatever they want just because they did me some favour."

"Alright then, let's play a game." Hydrus snapped his fingers twice, pulsing his magic in a unique way that cancelled all the silencing charms on the quiet side, then cast a sonorous charm. "Everyone! We're going to play another game since one of your fellows has decided to challenge my status in this club. Anyone who's interested in participating or just wants to see how this plays out, come on over!"

He gave another double-snap to let the quiet side resume its titular nature, then watched as the crowd began to grow. Even Remus made his way over till he was standing beside him, looking as confused as he was curious about what had happened between the two versions of his nephew. Once Hydrus was sure everyone who would come was gathered, he stood.

"It would seem at least one member of our ranks has no faith in me as your head, so in the interest of fairness, I've come up with a game for us to play," Hydrus said. "In simple terms, it'll be capture the flag. I'll be leading one team, and Harry Potter will be leading the other as my challenger. We'll both be drafting teams of seven from members of the club, and in one month's time, the event will begin."

"What?" Harry exclaimed. "Why one month? Let's just do it now."

"The point of waiting a month is to give both sides time to learn, prepare, and strategise." He shrugged. "If we did it here and now, I'd crush you even if you could draft the Hogwarts staff itself."

Remus shot him a glare at that remark, but didn't speak up.

"You'll get first pick," Hydrus continued. "And we'll set up a field beside the Forbidden Forest, near Hagrid's home. From there we'll each have a month to, with help from our teams, set up whatever defences and traps we can come up with to stop the other side from getting the flag and bringing it back to their own side." He looked up at Remus. "All that sound fair and fun to you, Professor?"

"Just so long as it doesn't interfere with anyone's school work," the werewolf said. "And yes, I'm specifically calling you out, Harry."

Hydrus snorted at the extra layer that joke had for the two of them, while his younger self just rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Moony."

"Five points from Gryffindor."

"Worth it."

"Right then." Hydrus stood up and waded into the crowd who parted to make room for him. "You hear your name called, get on over to your side behind me or Potter. The first pick is yours, god-brother."

"Hermione Granger." A polite round of applause came for the bushy haired girl as she stepped up behind Harry; she was glaring at him the whole way, no doubt for causing nonsense while she was trying to study. "Your turn."

"Easy choice." Hydrus tilted his chin up and smirked. "Ron Weasley."

An honest to goodness gasp came from the onlookers now. Hydrus's smile only grew wider at the way his younger self's jaw dropped.

"You can't do that," Harry said. "That's…"

"That's what?" he asked. "I have a great deal of respect for Ron's skills. I'm also incredibly close with his family. His brothers are my business partners, his mother looks after my ward. I even danced with his sister at the Yule Ball." As Harry's mouth worked up and down to come up with an argument, Hydrus gestured the pale, red-headed teen over. "Come on, mate. You're on my team."

Ron's eyes shot back and forth between him and Harry before slowly and mechanically walking forward. He came to a stop just behind him to his right, and even though he'd have no way of knowing this, it actually brought Hydrus some comfort. It was good to have his former right hand man back, even if it was just for a game. His fifteen-year-old self grit his teeth.

"Fine, I pick Ginny Weasley."

'Wonder if he really wanted her,' Hydrus thought as the girl stepped forward. 'Or if he just got jealous at me reminding him of our dance.'

"Fair enough," he said. "Ron, c'mere." He motioned towards his face, and despite the boy's clear distrust, Ron leaned down for him to whisper in his ear. "I know damn well you want to win this, so whisper something back to me."

"What?" Ron hissed. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?"

Hydrus pulled back, nodding as if the teen had given him some key advice. "I'll pick Neville Longbottom."

Whispers that reminded him far, far too much of the snakes from this morning came rising up as he picked yet another Gryffindor for his team. Just like he'd expected, Harry's jaw was working back and forth at the apparent betrayal. To his younger self's credit, the teen shook his head.

"I'm not falling for it," he said as Neville stepped up behind Hydrus. "There's no way Ron picked Nev."

Hydrus snorted at the offence he read out of the corner of his eye on Neville's face. "It's your pick."

"Fine." Harry stuck out his jaw, just like Hydrus had. "I pick Draco Malfoy."

The blonde groaned but began to trek to the opposite side of the crowd. Hydrus grabbed his arm, pulled him in close, then whispered in his ear, "Good luck. Make sure to try your hardest."

He released his 'understudy' who nodded at him and kept walking forward.

"Oi," Harry said. "What was that? What did you say to him?"

Hydrus might've been terrible at long term plans, but it seemed like his knack for coming up with something on the spot was still genius. There was no way his younger self would trust Draco now. That wouldn't stop the blonde from doing his damnedest to win, but still.

Hydrus held up his palms. "Just wished him luck, told him to give it his all."

"Bullshit." Harry flicked his wrist in dismissal. "Whatever. Your pick."

"I pick Luna Lovegood." Draco stiffened on the other side of the lineups. Now that would put a damper on him. "Your turn."

Luna came up behind him and took the spot beside Neville on his left, on the opposite side of Ron to his right. The girl waved at them all before giving a much more enthusiastic wave to Draco whose cheeks lit up as he meekly waved back. Merlin, this was so much fun.

"I pick Fred Weasley," Harry said. "Your move."

"Not bad," Hydrus said. "There's no way the twins will play for me, especially since they like to pretend like they're not a part of the club, but they'll almost definitely take the chance to try and beat me." He leaned over to Ron who rolled his eyes but did lean down once more. "You know any talented Hufflepuffs?"

"No?" the youngest Weasley boy answered. "How would I?"

Hydrus gave an impressed frown and 'mulled it over' for a second before turning to Neville and Luna and quietly asking the same question.

"Um," Neville said. "Hannah Abbot is pretty good with charms?"

"Leanne is an amazing knitter," Luna said. "I've heard her hats are very warm."

"Thank you both." Hydrus straightened up. "I'll take Hannah Abbot."

Another round of surprised murmurings, and a very confused girl stepping up beside Ron, later, Harry took his turn.

"George Weasley."

"Daphne Greengrass."

The immediacy of Hydrus's pick widened his younger self's eyes. The teen clearly panicked before calling out, "K-, Katie Bell!"

"Blaise Zabini."

Harry opened his mouth again, but Hermione clamped a hand down on his shoulder and glared at him. As she began hissing a whisper into his ear, Blaise leaned down from behind Hydrus to whisper in his.

"I'd say we already have this in the bag," the teen said. "But Potter's known to have a horseshoe up his arse."

"It's a good thing I just purchased a stable of my own then," Hydrus muttered back. "I'll see what I can fit."

Blaise chuckled and pulled away. His ear wasn't left alone for long though, as Ron actually took the initiative to lean down himself next.

"Pick Iris," he said. "Harry's always had a soft spot for his first baby sister."

'God I love this man.' Hydrus nodded. "Aye."

It seemed Hermione had finished making up Harry's mind, and the teen turned and pointed at the crowd. "I'll take Iris."

Hydrus heard Ron's knuckles pop beside him, and grinned. If the Weasley boy wasn't going for the win already, he certainly would be now. He hated getting counter-picked.

"Alright then," Hydrus said. "Now that we've picked our teams—"

"Oi, you still have a pick left," Harry said. "What are you doing?"

"I do?" Hydrus turned to his left then his right in 'confusion'. "But I've already got the perfect team."

"You—"

"Whatever." He shrugged. "I'll take Pansy Parkinson." With his last infuriating, lackadaisical taunt out of the way, he continued. "As I was saying, now that our teams are picked, we'll get to work fixing up a field for us to play in, and once that's done we'll have the match four weeks later. Any questions?"

Hermione spoke up, and he already knew what she was about to ask. "What are the rules?"

"Each side has a flag. To win you have to bring the other team's back to your own flag-hole. No leaving the playing field." He hummed in thought. "No maiming the opponents, no breaking school rules in general, nobody besides your team can interact with the field itself. Any rules you want, Potter?"

"No family magic," he said. "In fact, no spells that aren't a part of the lessons here, since that's what we're here to study."

Hydrus grinned. He'd thought Hermione was taking a while to come up with something; she'd probably coached him on some rules they should demand too. It was almost a shame he hadn't gotten to pick her.

"Also," Harry said. "You and I, as the captains, can't go more than ten steps from our flag."

"Done."

His younger self pulled back. It seemed he hadn't been expecting him to accept that suggestion.

"And, uh…" The teen swallowed. "No animals either. Hermione told me you have a pet snake."

"Narc," Hydrus replied. "But yes, yes, that's fine. What else you want?"

"That's… That's it."

"Perfect." He turned to the club's advisor. "Professor Lupin, do you have anything to add?"

The werewolf turned away for a moment in thought, then shrugged. "May the best team win."

"I intend to." Hydrus stepped back towards his throne. "Come on, team. Time to strategize."

He settled down into his chair and conjured up some more for his team. Hannah Abbot was definitely the odd duck in the group, her eyes darted back and forth between the rest of them like she wasn't sure why on earth she was here. Hydrus didn't have it in him to break it to her that he just wanted to make sure each house was represented on his team, so he had to let her squirm. Once everyone was settled, he turned to Ron.

"Alright, Weasley," he said. "You're in charge. Take it away."

"What?!"

The protesting exclamation came from all three of Hydrus's Slytherins, as well as Ron himself.

"Why him?" Blaise demanded. "He's, you know…?"

"I thought I made myself clear in my support towards Ron," Hydrus said. "I've heard incredible things about his chess acumen, and I'd like to see how he plays this game."

"Hydrus," Daphne said, trying to sound more professional than she could successfully pull off. "I think I speak for everyone here when I say we'd prefer you lead things."

"I refuse." Hydrus clapped his palm against the stub of his other arm. "Now then, let's get to work."


Apophis seethed. His father was wasting precious time. They had only a few more hours at most before the last remnants of his army were gone to the wind, and he was wasting it on these lesser humans and silly games. How were they supposed to slay a basilisk as ancient as his castle itself without them? How was he going to protect the foolish human? How would he prove he deserved to be a god?!


Hydrus waited for Daphne to return from the inside of the second-floor girls' lavatory and give him the all clear. Fawkes was cradled in his arm like a nesting chicken, Apophis was practically strangling him, and his own eyes were begging for him to go to sleep. He'd already told Kreacher to warn Bella that he might not be coming home for a quick visit tonight after the late night last time, but he still feared her reprisal tomorrow. That thought was just about the only thing keeping him awake when the fifth-year girl finally returned.

"Alright, no one's in there," Daphne said. "And you're sure I shouldn't be particularly worried about you wanting in there?"

"Yes, yes," he said. "Do you really think your former DADA professor wouldn't castrate me if she thought I was being a perv towards others?"

Daphne laughed. "Fair enough. See you tomorrow, Hydrus."

He grunted a goodbye of his own and strode in. After magically sealing the door shut behind him, he whispered the passphrase to the sink, then began to slide down. This was pathetic. Just a year ago he'd have scoffed at actually needing to sleep so soon after getting a few hours the night before. Whether it was because he was a teenager again or because he was getting soft he wasn't sure, but either way, it was annoying.

Once he'd reached the landing he continued forward, and Apophis's grip tightened.

"Father," the basilisk started. "This isn't wise. We should—"

"Stop being a coward," Hydrus demanded. "You're my—, I mean, you're the 'king of all serpents', aren't you? Act like it."

The basilisk's discomfort grew even larger, and Hydrus felt some guilt tugging at his heart strings. He wanted to offer some more comfort, be more tender in the way he handled this, but between his genuine annoyance and the fact that he had to make sure he didn't purposefully break his third bargain?

Magic had reinforced her end of the deal, but that didn't mean the agreement as a whole was unbreakable. It just meant that his arm didn't turn into the inside of a popcorn bag every time he had a filial thought towards Giannis or Apophis. If he let those sorts of emotions rule him, then he'd accidentally break it and the goddess could take back everything she'd given him. More terrifyingly, she might join in on the war against him that Death was currently waging. That reminded him, he needed to harass Regulus this weekend to make sure the bratty vampire he was friends with had given up her father's associates.

"What the hell is that sound?" Hydrus wondered aloud. "What's going on?"

There was an erratic shaking and thumping to the walls down in the Corridor of Secrets, and he wasn't sure why. As far as he was aware, Slytherin's basilisk should still be in a state of near-permanent hibernation. So what sort of hair-brained scheme was causing this rumbling?

"She taunts you," Apophis hissed. "She knows we're coming. We should strategically return and gather my forces."

"No." Hydrus closed his eyes as they grew closer to the chamber. "It'll be fine."

The earth-shaking sounds grew louder and louder as they approached, and when they stepped past the threshold they almost became deafening. The basilisk was definitely awake. Now the question was why, and whether or not his wanna-be son would be brave enough to confront the 'ancient queen'.

Hydrus's original plan had been simple. He'd force Apophis to go out in front of the door-bust of Salazar Slytherin, utter the password, and confront the queen. Basilisks were immune to their own killing-sight so he'd be initially safe, then Apophis would boast and bluster before slithering back to him with his proverbial tail between his legs, and finally Fawkes would pull them both away to Dumbledore's office. Then his familiar would realise how foolish he had been, Hydrus would grab a rooster to kill the more ancient serpent, and all would be well.

Technically that might still happen, but he'd been around long enough to know that when the background details of plan go wrong, everything else was sure to follow.

"No…" Apophis hissed as they entered the chamber. "No, no, no!"

Hydrus frowned. "What?"

"Traitor! Treachery! Betrayal!"

"What?" Hydrus demanded. "What's going on?"

"You wretched, cowardly, corrupt, perverted, bastard!" Apophis roared. "How could you?!"

Before Hydrus could reiterate his confusion, a new voice rumbled through the air.

"Be at peace, child." He shivered at what he could only assume was Slytherin's basilisk's voice. "And open your eyes, my lord. Gaze upon your most long-awaited servant."

He gave Apophis a few moments to protest that request, but when nothing but unadulterated fury poured off their bond, he opened his eyes.

Stretched out before him, just like he remembered the corpse, was Slytherin's basilisk. The eponymous secret behind the chamber they were now in gazed down at him through amber-tinted eyelids, and pride was flowing through her scales even brighter and bolder than he'd seen in her egomaniacal junior. The most interesting feature about her, however, was the other snake unravelling himself from around her.

Francis's head was bowed and his eyes were closed as he uncoupled from the slightly-larger serpent.

"Holy shit." Hydrus's mouth fell open. "Are you serious?"

"It is an honour to meet you, my lord," the gargantuan basilisk hissed. "Forgive my unreadiness, my mate and I were unprepared to greet you."

'Mate?' Hydrus wondered. "I feel like I'm the one who wasn't prepared."

"How could you do this to me?!" Apophis demanded of his uncle who was only just now straightening up, his whiskers drooping low. "You swore to join me in my conquest!"

Before Francis could answer, the queen did.

"Be silent." Hydrus felt fear roll through his familiar, and had to bury away his protective nature. "You should be praising your uncle's genius for sparing you from my legendary wroth. You have gone from a pathetic replacement at the serpent lord's side, to my genuine heir, Apophis-son-of-Hydrus."

"Hey now," Hydrus said. "Be nice."

"Your dedication to your child is admirable, my lord," the basilisk said. "But he must learn his place and his role. Your gratitude shall be unnecessary in the face of my teachings."

'Fuck me,' Hydrus thought as he rubbed his brow. 'Of course she's just as arrogant as—'

"I shall take you as my own, child!" the queen cried. "I shall teach you what it means to rule!"

Apophis's discomfort was fading as he rose up. "What could you teach me?"

"There is much to learn," she said. "Come. I shall lead you to where only we can tread, and reveal to you secrets that must never be divulged."

'What?' Hydrus thought.

"How do I know it isn't a trap?" his familiar demanded. "You could be leading me to my death."

"Search your feelings for the truth, child," the queen said. "I seek only to lead you to greater and more glorious purpose."

'For fuck's sake,' Hydrus thought for what felt like the millionth time that day. 'Please no.'

"Very well." Apophis slithered off his shoulders and towards the much larger basilisk who turned away. "Reveal to me your secrets."

Hydrus pinched the bridge of his nose as the two basilisks faded into the darkness. He more felt than saw Francis slither up beside him, especially once one of the hydrus's whiskers slapped into his side.

"Forgive me, my lord," the serpent said. "Originally I came to negotiate on the little one's behalf, but the queen was more than I expected. I could not resist her strength, grace, and experience."

"Don't… Don't worry about it," Hydrus said, thumping his palm against the massive being's scales as Bella came to mind. "I completely understand."


Some years ago

Gregory Herschel, hood up and wand palmed, stalked the streets of London. He was supposed to be in Germany coaxing more supplies out of the bastard who'd bombed his love, but he didn't care anymore. He didn't care if Grindelwald, Dumbledore, and the whole damned Ministry of Magic came for his neck. Everything had fallen apart, and he was done.

He remembered from his time training with the man that Albus visited this confectionery every Sunday, so he wasn't surprised to find him stepping out of the building and dabbing at his mouth with a napkin.

"You!" Gregory shouted. "I have business with you."

Albus Dumbledore turned to him with a furrowed brow, and Gregory almost buckled. The man was tall, so tall he dwarfed anyone the unspeakable had ever met. His beard had grown a bit since he'd last seen him, now reaching down to his sternum in a neatly combed and maintained wave of brown and auburn hair. He was lithe and fit, the glint in his eye brokered no weakness, and when he began sauntering towards him Gregory took a step back.

"Oh?" Albus asked. "And who might you be?"

"G-, Gregory Hershel," he answered. "The man to whom you swore an oath, D-, Diogenes."

He'd almost forgotten the other component of his 'codename' for Grindelwald.

"Diogenes…" Albus's brows furrowed. "Wait… You said Gregory?"

To the unspeakable's befuddlement, the Hogwarts professor suddenly pulled up the hem of his robe. He lifted them up till the edge was just above his knee, and although it was hard to read from this side and angle, it looked like he had 'Gregory' tattooed just above the joint. Albus's eyes danced back and forth from the writing to him so quickly that it made Gregory suddenly question his own first name.

"Gregory… Gregory… Gregory…" Albus let the robes slip back down and began to stroke his beard. "How peculiar. I can't—"

"You can't remember me, yes, I know." Too terrified to think of the consequences, he grabbed Albus's arm and began to drag him away to a nearby alley. "Come on."

Once they were away in the brick-laden shadows, he stuck his wand against the professor's throat and pressed him against the wall. He leaned in close, up on his tip toes, and began to whisper.

"You promised me you'd keep her safe," he hissed. "You and Crouch told me she would be protected!"

"Sir, I abhor violence," Albus said. "So I would suggest you take a step back before I make you very uncomfortable."

"I will not!" Gregory snapped through gritted teeth. "You—!"

"Sir," Albus repeated. "Very, very." The professor leaned his forehead against Gregory's. "Uncomfortable."

"Oh!" Suddenly remembering his mentor's tendencies, the unspeakable jerked back. "S-, Sorry, sir, I was… I mean! No! You always do this!"

Albus's bellowing laugh just fanned the flames of rage burning in Gregory's chest.

"Knock it off!" he demanded. "You promised!"

"Promised what, Gregory?" Albus said, composing himself quickly despite the still-shining gleam to his cheeks. "Please, forgive me, I feel awful for not remembering you despite having apparently gotten a tattoo on your behalf."

"Agatha Smith." His hands balled up into fists. "You promised you'd protect her, you and Crouch both, and next thing I read her neighbourhood is getting bombed by muggles."

The mirth on the face of his 'friend' faded away. "Again, and with more sincerity now, I apologise, Gregory. I don't know that name."

"No, no, no, no…" The unspeakable stumbled back until he hit a wall, then he slid down it till he was seated. "She can't be dead. Not her, not my Aggy, please, please please—"

"For Merlin's sake, man!" With a surprising amount of physical strength, the pacifistic scholar lifted Gregory up by the armpits and sat him back down on his feet. "Settle yourself before you fall victim to hysteria. Tell me more, tell me everything. Who are you, who is 'Agatha Smith', and why do you know someone in the Crouch family?"

Gregory gave a hard sniff to try and clear his nose. "I'm Gregory Herschel. Everyone forgets me. Agatha smith is the woman I love, married off to a bastard on the front lines. Madam Crouch is who pulled me into the DoM."

"Ah…" Albus said in understanding. "The DoM, I should have known. Well then, come on, man! Let us go and visit my cohort, Elizabeth."

"What?"

Before Gregory could even gather his bearings, he was apparated away by the flighty teacher. They appeared in front of a large, gated mansion that he'd never been to before. Where were they?

"Come," Albus said, stepping towards the gate. "Elizabeth has been forced to—"

The man's words came up short when his stride was interrupted by his nose smooshing against an invisible wall. Rather than 'bouncing' off it, or cringing away, the tall wizard just remained pressed up against the unseeable barrier with his nose bent half-way to the side.

"This is new," Albus said nasally, putting his hands on his hips. "I wonder what she's done to the wards…"

"How are we supposed to—"

"Greggy?"

His heart froze. He spun on his heel and there, standing just a few steps away from them down the path, was Angela Smith.

In the years since he'd last seen her she'd only grown more beautiful; she'd filled out and her hair had grown down to past her shoulders. She was wearing a handsome pair of trousers that did nothing to diminish her femininity, while still painting a tableau of the fact that she wasn't some mere lady. The satchel on her shoulder slipped down and fell to the ground, spilling into a burst of scrolls and parchments as she came dashing towards him.

Relief, jubilation, and so many more feelings that he couldn't even name overwhelmed Gregory as he fell to his knees in front of her. He collapsed against her, his face pressing into her stomach as he wrapped his arms around her legs. Sobs wracked his body as held onto her for dear life.

"Oh, Greggy," Agatha said, voice full of emotion. "It's okay, it's okay, foolish boy. Stand up."

He shook his head. It was all too much, he couldn't do it. He wasn't strong enough, wasn't brave enough, wasn't…

"Gregory Herschel!" Agatha snapped. His neck nearly broke with how quick it snapped up to look at her. "Get on your feet so I can kiss you, you damned foo—"

Gregory stood and kissed her. Years of loneliness and longing, love and lust, desperation and desire poured out of him as he tried to show her just how much he needed her. He lifted her up into the air as her legs wrapped around his waist, his hands grabbing desperately tight to her as her own pulled at his hair and shirt. Stars danced across his vision when he finally pulled away to breathe, and she gazed back at him with matching tears and rosy cheeks.

"I love you," Gregory said. "I've missed you so much."

"I love you too, Greggy," she said. "I can't believe you picked today to return to me."

He blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Howard is dead," she said. "I just got the paperwork. The cantankerous fool got into a fight with some other officer, challenged him to a duel, and it didn't end well for him." Gregory's jaw slowly fell. "So what do you say? Will you marry me?"

It was like she had slapped him. A million thoughts raced through his mind regarding everything from where they'd live to the fact that he didn't have a ring on him to how beautiful she was as she cocked an eyebrow at him. She was still waiting for an answer. "Yes! Of course, I, I was just stunned! I should've asked y—"

"Hush." She gave him another, much shorter kiss. "If anyone asks, we'll tell them you asked me."

He snorted back some tears and laughed. God above and devil below, he had missed her.

"You must be Gregory," a familiar voice said, earning a yelp from Agatha that nearly caused him to drop her. "My secretary has told me a great deal about you, every day since I first rediscovered your existence."

"It's the only way she can remember," Agatha accused, a hint of embarrassment to her tone. "Please don't make me sound like some kind of prattling school girl, Lizzy."

Gregory chuckled. He'd almost forgotten the way Aggy liked to trim up people's names to just one or two syllables.

"I told you it's Madame Crouch in front of others, Agatha," the head of the DoM chided. "Now tell me, 'Gregory', where did all that blood come from?"

Agatha's head snapped back towards him, and she began looking him up and down and once more nearly making him drop her with the way she leaned back to get a better look at him.

"From those who knew no better and know no more," he replied. "Do you know why their tears fall?"

"Because such is the cost of knowledge," Crouch said, finishing the coded passphrase she'd drilled into his head nearly a year ago. "So you are one of my boys. Report, soldier."

Wishing he were stronger, Gregory finally sat Agatha down. He straightened up then bowed his head to his superior officer.

"Unspeakable Sight, reporting. I was able to successfully infiltrate Grindelwald's forces, however I was immediately put to work gathering support and supplies from the muggle Germans." His hand clenched into fists behind his back. "Despite my best efforts to maintain a spot in his army's camp so as to gather information, I was never allowed to remain for long. Any information I have, or was able to gather, would have been inconsequential long before I was able to return.

"Between reports of muggles beginning to hunt for us, and the bombings that struck Aggy's neighbourhood, I couldn't stand to be there any further," he said. "I made the decision to return. And, before you try to scold me: the trees cried timber."

Agatha looked at him like he was crazy, but Crouch locked up. "To whom did they fall?"

"The axe was yours, the swing was mine, and the wood is theirs."

"What on earth are you two talking about?" his… He smiled. His fiancee said. "What's going on?"

"I believe they're speaking in code, my lady," Albus said, finally speaking up again. "Spooks like them just love that sort of thing."

"The fire is dying," Crouch said.

Gregory's brows furrowed in confusion. "But the embers shall light anew?"

"Do you even know what you just confirmed?" his superior asked, quietly. "Or did I just tell you to memorise that?"

"The latter," he answered. "Why?"

"Then congratulations, you've just been promoted," she 'answered'. "You know we don't use ranks here, but from now on, you answer to no one besides me. Even if the Minister himself tells you to do something, you ask me first, understand?"

"I, okay?" He wanted to say that he definitely did not understand, he'd basically failed the mission so why was he getting promoted? "I mean, yes, ma'am."

"Good. Help my secretary bring those inside." Crouch nodded at the dropped bag of papers and Agatha gasped before scrambling over to them. "After that, we're going to make a plan. You might just be the key to everything, Gregory…"


BBaRtS


Chapter 63, finally free.

Another 13000 words in the books. Big ol' Apophis chapter with an ending I'd been looking forward to for a while, but the question is, is it really the ending to his nonsensical background quest for glory? We also got Bella trying and, mostly but not entirely, failing to be a good matriarch-figure. Tonks continuing to grow into her own, some Black family bonding, and James accidentally insulting his own wife. Also, the confirmation about what Giannis will be up to.

Hydrus has set up a new game for them to play, capture the flag. I enjoyed 'drafting' the teams, especially the Draco/Ron picks. Ron's gotten very little attention this fic but talked up a lot from the past, so it's his turn for some spotlight. Also Pansy Parkinson.

Last but not least, things are picking up in the Gregory Herschel story line. He's been reunited with his love, 'promoted', and Elizabeth Crouch has plans for him. There was one line in his section that I hope people caught, that gives a hint as to what he does to be some famous in the modern era, but we'll see. I also enjoyed getting to have young Dumbledore around, showing off that before he was a cooky old man, he was a flamboyant, intimidating stud.

There were several reviews asking for bargain recap, so here we go:

1) Killed Kaltuf the centaur who taught Hydrus about Magic (the deity) and got back the power to talk to snakes.

2) Sacrificed his ability to feel romantic love, also lost his memories of his time with/about his love. He got control over the Trace in exchange.

3) Sacrificed his ability to feel parental for his children, also lost his memories of his child. Magic used rune to transform his body into the 'Hydrus' body, 90% Sirius, 3% his original body, 3% Dumbledore, 3% Voldemort, 1% margin for error in any direction.

4) He had his followers kill themselves in a massive, ritualistic suicide, and used Magic as a middle man to make a bargain with Fate to send him back in time to the end of his third year/beginning of the summer before his fourth.

Anyways, on to reviews!

"Loving this and love a strong neville" - I enjoyed dropping that itty bitty line saying Neville was offended at what Harry had offhandedly said. He said he wasn't into duelling and didn't care what people think, but he's also a 15 year old boy who just got more praise than ever before because of how well he did against Hydrus.

A few people asked about the body/if Hydrus's crippled arm is no longer such, and no it's still broken. For the record, yes Magic COULD fix it, but she wouldn't. I wonder why the ring even did that to his hand in the first place... Oh well! Giannis is looking into it.

"He's never going to have kids and such now? " - Technically his third bargain doesn't stop him from HAVING kids, just that he wouldn't be able to love them.

"The whole chapter was amazing but i literally choked from the last two lines" - Dumbledore in that moment was channeling his inner Christopher Walken in Seven Psychopaths lolol

"I still don't get why Hydrus can't rock a nice clockwork arm like Edward Elric in Fullmetal Alchemist? I mean, what's stopping him from magicking up such a useful tool?" - It's not a priority for him, that's all. It annoys him but he legit just isn't bothered by it more often than not. I don't think he has the runesmanship needed to do what Giannis wants, but he probably could've paid for someone else to make something for him. We'll explore this whole subject a bit more later too.

"What did Magic do for him? What did Fate do in return? It wasn't quite clear (to me) what happened." - Magic reforged the runes on his body, expanded them, made his body able to handle the tumultuous nature of their bargain. She was originally going to once again take away memories and feelings from him, those that had developed for Giannis and Apophis, but Fate 'picked up his tab' and gave her some power, enough to compensate the lack of taking those things.

"It was very nice to see a well adjusted Harry Potter who grew up loved and appreciated by everyone around." - It's nice getting to show that off more, and I know I'm treading dangerous waters calling him Harry with Hydrus around but it's really all I can do. Hopefully it doesn't get too confusing as the pair interact more.

And that's all! Thank you all so much for reading, thank you all for commenting/reviewing, and I'll see you all next Saturday. Love you all, lessthanthree~!