ARCHIVIST
Statement of Sterling Spoon regarding getting lost in a corn maze in Dixon, California. Original statement given on March 30, 2014 audio recording by Jonathan Sims, former archivist of The Magnus Institute, London. Statement begins.
ARCHIVIST(Statement)
So like, I knew it was supposed to be a really big and confusing maze or whatever, right, but it was actually so much worse than it should have been. I felt like I was never going to get out, and almost like I was seeing things. It wasn't even that I was seeing things, it was that things that should have been there weren't.
So this maze is huge, right, something like over 60 acres of land, it was kind of a big deal. Anyway, a friend of a friend invited me, and we went with this group of people, and I know it was a maze and all, but we all got separated so fast? I can't even pinpoint when they all disappeared. It just sort of happened, and then I was alone? At least I thought I was alone until I heard some shouting? I was really relieved at first, and I did my best to approach the voices, but the closer I got the more nervous I became.
There were two voices. One was really stern and much louder than the other, and she kept interrupting the other voice. The first voice had a bit of a rasp to it, I could tell she was older than the second voice. The second voice spoke like someone used to getting yelled at. I feel like that's the best way to explain. She tried to speak, but when she raised her voice it wasn't very certain, and every time the first voice interrupted her, she let it happen. So I'm starting to regret approaching, and I'm figuring you know at this point, that it's a maze, so I probably won't even run into them, but just my luck, I find them at the next corner I take.
The older woman looks at me, and my appearance silences her. She sneers, and points an accusatory finger at me, and the woman with her looks at me with such a tired look on her face. I didn't want to be there, but she didn't want to even more than I did. It was like she was pleading with me to leave. I assumed she was the timid voice I had heard. She had these incredible deep eye bags and rather messy eyeshadow. Maybe she had cried in her makeup a little bit, or maybe that was just the style she was going for. It just, everything about her seemed wrong. She didn't look dressed to be traversing a maze. She didn't look like she wanted to be there. The woman looked at me with anger and hate, and the younger one looked at me like I was something small and inconvenient maybe? If I were a spider caught indoors, the older one would have squashed me and then flushed me down the toilet, but the younger one; I couldn't tell if she would have put me outside, or kept me in a cup and watched me squirm if we're continuing with the spider analogy.
"Lost, huh," the younger one stated more than asked.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"I didn't even do anything yet. I could never please you. I will never be enough."
"Clearly. I wish I had a son instead, maybe then you wouldn't be such a screw-up. " All I could think was, what kind of mother-daughter argument did I walk in on?
I got the sense that if I let them go on, they would just keep at it for ages, and I really wanted to get out. "I came here with a group, and I'm just trying to get out. It's starting to get late, and my phone isn't working."
The older one looked over me in an embarrassingly short amount of time. Every moment I felt smaller and more insignificant. It was like she evaluated me then decided I wasn't worth the effort. "Go on, then," she jerked her head in my direction while making eye contact with her daughter, and then she stalked off into the darkness of the maze.
I stared into the shadows and green that had consumed her in awe. I am not sure how much time passed in silence. It was really awkward. I didn't know what to say, but I was also so shocked by whatever I had walked into, and I was just about coping with the fact that I would have to wait for them to send like firefighters or police into the maze to rescue me or whatever it is they do.
"Do you want out, or are you going to stay here forever?" I could be stuck in a place like this forever. It seemed like there was no end, and it had gotten dark so soon. I was so puzzled by the darkness around every corner. Did you know darkness has different levels? I saw so little, and I followed the woman before me as she traipsed through the maze, taking turns that seemed to be meaningless. The maze felt hostile, there were tears in her clothing. She really didn't dress well for this. A stalk got caught in her sleeve, and she batted it away with a scratched and scarred hand. I couldn't fight the feeling she knew I had seen her because she snatched the sleeve over her fingers, hiding them from sight. She looked back at me, "Don't mind them." I couldn't tell if she brought me comfort or made me feel worse about my position.
One time I saw her play rock-paper-scissors with herself when deciding which fork to go down. After losing or winning a couple rounds, she turned toward me and pulled a bunch of folded papers out of her sock. She ripped part of a decaying and folded page and handed it to me. "Hold onto this," she said. Would you believe it if I said I was more upset by her socks not matching than the grimy strange paper she was handing to me? It was one of those things like her makeup where I couldn't tell if it was intentional or not. Her fingers peeked out from her sleeves, the scarring looks like she had scratched and torn at her own skin.
She wielded the torn scrap like it was some precious secret. It was a dog eared corner ripped out of some book. I could make out a few words, and I think it was actually a page from Pride and Prejudice. If I had any hope of getting out, I lost it at this point.
Keeping up with her was so difficult, and just when I felt she was taking me even deeper into the maze, I heard my name being shouted. It was that friend of a friend I didn't know all that well. He was quite worried about me, said the cops had been searching for me, and people had been sent into the maze looking for me.
I somehow made it out the other end. I don't know how, and when I looked to find the girl to thank her, she was gone. She might as well have been. I don't know that my thanks would have come out very graciously. I was simultaneously relieved and annoyed. I hadn't had much faith that she would get me out, but she had. Despite all her strangeness and distance, every once in a while, she looked back at me, as if to make sure I was still there. Even though she was really weird, and I wasn't sure if I trusted her, I didn't want to be alone anymore. I get the feeling she felt similarly, but I was the one that got out.
Statement Ends
ARCHIVIST
One of the few statements we have about Asteria and Renee. It becomes increasingly unclear to me what exactly Asteria does. I worry that I am becoming something less than human, but maybe it doesn't have to be something awful? I don't know. I can never tell if Asteria is helping people or terrorizing them. I can't really tell what is happening to me either? Why is this-why did things have to happen like this? Is this what I chose for myself? I feel a bit lost as of late.
GEORGIE
Well, being on the run from the law might not be helping with that.
ARCHIVIST
Georgie! Oh, uhm, hi.
GEORGIE
I told you I don't want you doing those here.
ARCHIVIST
I know. I know. I'm sorry.
GEORGIE
Jon, we don't even know who is sending them or why! Doesn't that bother you?
ARCHIVIST
It does, but I feel like I have to. It's like I need to. I am sorry though. I will try to be better about it, and I really do appreciate all this.
GEORGIE
Alright, alright. Enough.
ARCHIVIST
How was your day?
GEORGIE
I had this strange run-in with someone actually.
ARCHIVIST
Strange how?
GEORGIE
She had a very familiar face. I swear I have seen her around, but I don't know when or where. And she smiled at me a little bit when we made eye contact, so I asked her if I knew her or something.
ARCHIVIST
What did she say?
GEORGIE
She looked around like I was talking to someone else, and then she apologized when she realized, and she was like really awkward, poor thing. I felt bad for talking to her after, like I ruined her day or something.
ARCHIVIST
Was she doing anything?
GEORGIE
Yeah, she had been reading a book and drinking tea.
[The Archivist laughs, or maybe chokes. A sound escapes him.]
ARCHIVIST
Sounds like someone I know actually.
GEORGIE
Is it someone from the institute? You don't think that maybe she's involved in all this?
ARCHIVIST
If it was Helen? Absolutely, not. That girl is strange, but she's harmless.
GEORGIE
What's she like?
ARCHIVIST
Hard to say.
[CLICK]
