Screaming. That's all I can hear around me. Cries of help. Desperation. Agony. Pure chaos.
Screaming.
It's deafening.
I can't make it stop. It makes me want to cut my ears off. In a silent room, that's when it's at its worst. The anxiety and paranoia that follows is crippling. Part of me is here, with my family, safe in a world with no Sukuna. No Kenjaku. No Merger. Not even Geto, no matter how much it pains me to say it.
But part of me is still crazed from the vengeance. From the bloodlust. The thirst for justice still calls, but it calls upon memories, not current day events. I hear the screams and cries of the people in pain, and my heart hurts for them. My heart tears apart my soul, calling for me to save them. But I can't.
So the screams haunt me. And it's torture.
————
"Hey." I hear Satoru say.
I look around and see I've been standing in the same spot at the grocery store for a while. Staring at the canned foods. In the year since Shibuya, and all the events that followed, rebuilding has gone well. Well enough that stores are reopening, and houses are refinished. The skyscrapers were torn down and blown apart. They are building new ones now. So life is moving on, people are returning and living life. So why can't I?
"You okay?" Satoru asks concerned.
I sigh quickly and smile awkwardly, "yeah, never better." I say grabbing a few cans and putting them in our cart.
Since we saved the country, and in turn the world I'm sure, new leadership has been installed in the government. The corrupted leaders working with Kenjaku to exploit sorcerers for power were replaced. Satoru saw to that, since he is the most powerful person on earth, backed by the second most powerful, me.
The government has opened up a Tokyo Jujutsu Sorcerer branch of the government. We work to fight off curses and keep them in check. Anyone involved in Shibuya is recognized as a hero, and is granted immunity to most daily tasks and burdens. So, no bills, no need for money, no problems. It was the least they could do for us. Most of us are still scarred. We don't need the mundane to weigh us down too. But any new Sorcerer is treated like normal. They get paid to exorcize curses. But anyone involved in Shibuya or anything after works as they please. Satoru negotiated that and is overseeing it. Most of Jujutsu Society is cared for by him.
"Are you sure you're alright? I left you in that isle seven minutes ago." Satoru says looking at me over his sunglasses.
Niko laughs as he pulls at Satoru's shirt. He babbles trying to say 'daddy' but it still isn't coming out right. He wants Satoru to play, but he smiles at him and kisses his forehead.
"Hold on buddy." He says.
"Really, i'm fine. Let's just check out and head home yeah?" I say overwhelmed with the people walking around us.
He looks at me worriedly and nods, "alright. Let's get home then."
We show the worker our new government pass and she bags up all of our stuff. Satoru spies a sucker and grabs two. The lady smiles and bags them up as well.
"I just want to thank both of you for what you did. You two are my hero's. Admittedly... I have a poster of you two in my house Mr. and Mrs.Gojo." She says as her cheeks grow rosey.
"Poster?" I say shooting my eyebrows up.
"Yes, I look up to you. You helped save everyone. You really are hero's." She explains.
I sit there speechless.
Doesn't she know I'm a killer? Not to be admired. I barely saved anyone. I have a death count that's higher. I'm a murderer.
"Thank you, that's very kind. We appreciate the support. Have a nice day." Satoru says handing Niko to me and grabbing up our things.
"You as well." She says smiling innocently.
Satoru ushers us out of the store.
On the way to the car I look over and see the construction around the rock dome Sukuna and Jogo created in their fight around a year ago. The government is working with the Jujutsu Sorcerer Society, or JSS, to construct a monument in honor of the lives lost in that two month long struggle.
I stop and see someone very familiar standing there, watching as the men in the distance work. His blonde hair shines in the sun and his hands sit comfortably in his pockets. The man turns to look at me behind him and smirks.
"Nanami." I whisper to myself.
"Hey." I hear Satoru say a few paces ahead of me, "you two coming?"
Niko is chewing on his fingers and I snap out of my thoughts, returning to reality. I smile nervously, hoping he didn't notice me freeze up. I pull Niko's hand out of his mouth and pull his teething toy from my bag, placing it in his hand. Niko's bright blue eyes pierce mine and I relax a bit and smile.
"Yeah." I say walking over to Satoru. I look back to see if he's still standing there, but there's no one. Nanami is gone, just like that. Just my imagination. Satoru bends down and kisses my forehead. He pokes his cheek out for me and I give him a sweet kiss on the cheek. Satoru ruffles Niko's hair and walks us to the car.
When we start buckling Niko in his car seat, a few men approach us. They have camera's in their hands and look determined.
"Hey! You two are the Gojo's right?" One man asks.
My heart rate increases and my hands grow sweaty. I don't want to talk about Shibuya, or the Culling Games, or Sukuna. I especially don't want to be thanked, or told i'm a hero. I want to be left alone.
"Yeah.?" Satoru says moving away from the car and shutting Niko's door.
"Oh man, can I get a picture? How did you guys feel defeating Sukuna? How has adjusting back to regular life been?" The man asks in a regular paparazzi fashion. Annoying more like.
"Please, we'd like to get home. If you'll excuse us." Satoru says putting his arm around my shoulders and opening my door.
"How many Sorcerer lives were lost, and do those losses bother you two at all?" The man insists on asking.
I freeze and stiffen up. My cursed energy begins to rise and so does my anger, "what did you say?"
"I said-" he starts before Satoru cuts him off.
"Look buddy, if I were you, I'd walk away. Now." He says menacingly at the end looking at him over his sunglasses with his piercing blue eyes.
"Uh, right." He says walking away quickly as his face turns bright red.
Satoru turns me to him and hugs me tightly.
"It's okay. I'm here. Relax yeah? Just focus on us. On you, me, and Niko." He says calmly and gently.
I take a breath and release my cursed energy all at once.
"Yeah."
Satoru knows how to calm me down. He's done it for years now. There's no one else in the world I trust more than him. His words are the only ones I hear.
"Let's get home, yeah?" He says smiling warmly at me.
I nod and we get in the car. Satoru places our things in the back seat next to Niko and begins the short drive home.
———
When we get home we unload the car and bring Niko inside. When we walk in our kitchen, I see Megumi eating cereal at the dining room table. He looks up at us and nods his head up to greet us.
"Sup bro!" Satoru says.
"Hey." Megumi says.
Megumi moved in with us a few months ago. He said he couldn't stay in his apartment alone. He's still too young for him and Nobara to move in together. He needs this time to himself to heal, and no one knew Tsumiki like the three of us. He needs us to help him. So he's staying with us for as long as it takes.
"How was shopping?" Megumi asks.
"It was... a lot." I say letting out a breath.
"I hate going out there now. I can't walk down the street without someone asking for a picture or autograph. And... they always bring up Sukuna." He says sadly.
I sigh and nod as I set Niko down. He runs quickly to his older brother and practically jumps into his hands.
"Hey little bro." Megumi says smiling. Niko is good for him. Gives him a purpose, and he needs that right now.
Niko smiles and giggles at him, wrapping his arm in a little hug.
"Missed you too buddy." He says lovingly.
"Awe! Look Naomi! Megumi is being cute! Do we need a picture to remember this moment?" Satoru says teasing him.
Megumi sighs and shakes his head, "shut up."
"Have you seen Yuji?" I ask.
"Yesterday. He went with me to Tsumiki's grave." Megumi says.
"How does he look?" I ask.
"Like shit." Megumi says plainly.
I sigh and look to Satoru worried, "maybe he should move here too. We have an extra room." I say.
"Whoa, wait a-" Megumi says before he's cut off.
"What a great idea! They can be neighbors again!" Satoru says looking too happily at Megumi.
Megumi sighs and rolls his eyes, "yeah well as much as it pains me to admit it, maybe he should. I don't think solitude is good for him."
"Is he..." I say apprehensively.
"Hearing Sukuna? No, and I know we've been suspecting that lately, but I don't think so. I think he's just... Alone." Megumi says.
I sigh, "alright. I'll talk to him tomorrow, see what he says. I don't want him to suffer."
"Good idea. I'll make arrangements for Ijichi to help move his stuff. He's more than happy to help." Satoru says.
I nod and we start unloading the groceries. I hate that Yuji is feeling this way, but maybe staying with us will be good for him. He's been through a lot, and I want to help him. We all do.
Maybe one day we'll feel normal.
Maybe.
