The morning of hitting the Big Spot, I packed my back and got my gear ready for the run. It was going to be a long day so I put my water bottle in my bag. Then I turned to put my gear on over the jeans and shirt. My holster was last on, and I grabbed my bag and left the cell.
Daryl was the first person I saw, coming down from the perch "Ready?"
I nodded, tightening a strap on the riot gear. "Yeah, good to go."
As we walked out, I could feel Daryl getting agitated by the people calling out a good morning to him as we passed. Some people said hello to me too, which I smiled and returned, but most people were talking to Daryl.
"Hey, Daryl. Hey Ace."
"Morning Daryl!"
"Hi, Ace."
I smiled back. "Hey, Charlie."
"Hey, Daryl!"
It was strange, just having this many people so excited to see us. They were happy that we had brought them in, that we were giving them food, a safe place, and a home, but I hadn't been greeted this much since I was in school.
Daryl seemed to find it weird too, giving a small awkward wave to each person, glancing back at the sound of his name as we made it to the outside eating area. He shook his head and looked down at the food Carol was making. "Smells good."
"Just so you know, I liked you first," Carol smiled, handing him a bowl.
"Stop," Daryl scoffed, giving me a glance.
"Hungry?" Carol asked.
I shook my head. "No, thanks."
"You know, Rick brought in a lot of them, too," Daryl said, pointing back over his shoulder.
"Not recently," Carol said. "Give the stranger sanctuary, keeping people fed, you're gonna have to learn to live with the love." She glanced at me. "You too."
"I'm good with it," I shrugged.
"Right," Daryl rolled his eyes.
"If it makes you feel better," Isaac started, coming up next to us. "I'm not too fond of you, seeing as you broke my arm and all."
"It was a sprain," Daryl scoffed.
"Right," Carol smiled and turned back to me and Daryl. "I need you both to see something. Patrick, you want to take over?"
Patrick stepped behind the table with a big, goofy smile. "Yes, ma'am," and then he turned to Daryl. "Mr. Dixon, I just wanted to thank you for bringing that deer back yesterday. It was a real treat, sir. And I'd be honoured to shake your hand."
Patrick extended a hand to Daryl, who turned to face him while licking every one of his fingers. When he did, he shook Patrick's hand. Isaac almost gagged, turning around and walking away.
"I'm gonna grab a gun," he said, using that as an excuse to get away from Daryl.
Carol nodded her head, and me and Daryl followed her.
"About today, I don't know if we're gonna be able to spare a lot of people for the run," she explained, leading us towards the fences.
"That place is good to go," Daryl said. "We're gonna move on it."
"Yeah. The thing is, we had a pretty big build-up overnight," Carol said, and I could see the piles of walkers against both fences on this side of the prison. More and more were walking out from the treeline, adding to the problem. "Dozens more towards tower three. It's getting as bad as last month. They don't spread out anymore."
"With more of us in here, we're drawing more of them out," Daryl said. "You get enough of those damn fence-clingers, they start to herd up.
"Pushing against the fences again," Carol said. "It's manageable, but unless we get ahead of it, not for long. Sorry, Pookie."
I grinned at him, but he just scoffed and gently elbowed Carol. Daryl went over to the cars, and Carol started heading back towards the eating area to take over for Patrick. As I went to follow Daryl, someone called my name.
"Ace!" Sasha called. "Help me with some of this stuff, will you?"
I nodded, going over and grabbing a box from her. "Where's Tyreese?" I asked.
"Oh, he went down to the fence to tell Karen he wanted to join the run," Sasha said. "They're getting pretty serious, I think."
Tyreese and Karen dating? I never spent much time with either of them outside working on the fence, but now that it crossed my mind I did see them spending a lot of time together. That just made me wonder why Tyreese was coming on the run if he wanted to spend his time with Karen.
"Did you hear about the fences?" I asked.
"Yeah, Hershel told me," she said. "Sucks, because we really need more people for this run."
"Isaac and Zach offered to go," I said.
Sasha sighed. "I know, but I just wish we had the cull crew too. I really didn't want to have to make two trips on this one."
When we got to the cars, Glenn was also coming to help load the cars, holding his riot gear over his arm, not dressed yet. He opened the boot for me to put my things in the back of the Hyundai. Daryl was already there with Zach, loading up the back of the truck with supplies in case anything went wrong on the run.
Glenn then put the gear on, starting with the leg pieces before grabbing the chest plate. He was with Maggie this morning, longer than usual this time. I looked around for her, but she wasn't anywhere to be seen.
Isaac came up beside me. "Hey."
"Hey," I smiled. "You good?"
"All good," Isaac nodded.
I turned back to Glenn. "Where's Maggie? Isn't she meant to be coming today?"
"She's taking the day off," Glenn said awkwardly and avoided giving me any more of an answer by turning to Isaac. "Are you going to be okay on the run?"
"I've killed walkers before," Isaac told him.
"I know, but you don't have to come if you don't want to," Glenn said. "We're bringing another team back tomorrow when the fences are in a better position."
"I'll be fine," Isaac crossed his arms, and I now noticed that he was wearing the blue surgical gloves I'd picked up for him before.
"Do you have a knife and gun?" I asked. "Everyone needs one."
"Yeah, yeah. I got everything."
"They really are just concerned," I promised as Glenn went to pack the car. "We've lost people on runs."
"No, I get it," Isaac nodded with a sigh.
I was worried too. I knew he could kill walkers, and it should be easier for him with the gloves on, but anything could happen and if Isaac freaked out over any mess then it could put us in more danger than it was worth. Then again, things went wrong on runs before Isaac showed up, so I doubted that we'd be in any more danger than we would just going ourselves.
I opened my mouth to say something else, but Zach calling out to someone interrupted me. "Okay, are you gonna say goodbye?"
"Nope," Beth called back with a smile.
Daryl scoffed, leaning against the back of the truck. "It's like a damn romance novel."
"Hey." Before we could get everyone in the vehicles, another voice stopped us. Bob walked over to where we were getting the cars ready with a smile and a wave "I'd like to start pulling my weight around here."
"Bob, it's only been a week," Sasha told him.
"That's a week's worth of meals, a roof over my head," Bob argued. "Let me earn my keep."
Sasha moved around, resting her arm up on the door of the Hyundai. "You were out on your own when Daryl found you."
"That's right."
"I just want to make sure you know how to play on a team."
"We ain't gonna do it unless it's easy," Daryl said, walking past her towards his bike.
"You know he was a medic in the Army," Glenn said from the other side of the car.
Bob looked back at her, nodding his head in agreement. "You're a hell of a tough sell. You know that?"
"Okay," Sasha finally agreed.
We all got in the cars and drove down to the field.
When we got down there, I noticed that the horse was back, meaning that Michonne was back. Daryl stopped in front of us, talking to her. I opened my window when I saw her, sending her a smile and a small wave. She continued her conversation with Daryl and Rick but did return the wave as she spoke. Daryl then started saying something to Rick before
Michonne walked around the bike, tapping my arm through the window as she opened the back door and sat down beside Isaac, pushing him into the middle seat between her and Zach. I looked back as she closed the door.
"You're coming?"
"Yeah, looks like you could use some help," she nodded.
I hated that I needed this to be my first question to her, but I had to ask, "Did you find him?"
Michonne shook her head no, and I had to shove down the disappointment of knowing she'd leave again soon. "Not this time. I'm thinking about looking near Macon."
"You know there's all the walkers that way, right?" Glenn said.
"I'll be fine," she said. "I think I saw a way through."
I bit my tongue and turned back to face the front as Glenn drove through the gates. She still hadn't found him, but I was more upset that after all this time she was still looking, risking her life for someone who may already be dead, like Rick told me.
"Oh, and I got you something," she said, and I glanced back to see her looking at Isaac. She dug around in her bag before pulling out a new packet of pens. "Is that what you wanted?"
"Yeah," he nodded, taking them from her. "Thank you."
"I came across a bookstore, had some stationary left," she shrugged.
Isaac put the pens in the bag at his feet, and we drove in a pleasant quietness to the Big Spot.
We stopped just outside the chain-link fence I saw a few days ago before I had to hook up the radio to lure the walkers out. Daryl led everyone to the hole we cut in the fence and started explaining to Bob how we found it.
"Army came in and put these fences up," Daryl was saying. "Made it a place for the people to go. Last week when we spotted this place, there were a bunch of walkers behind this chain-link keeping people out like a bunch of guard dogs."
"So they all just left?" Bob asked.
"Give a listen," Sasha said.
In the background, you could still hear the faint trumpets from the 1812 Overture.
"You drew 'em out," Michonne said.
"Put a boombox out there three days ago."
"Hooked it up to two car batteries," Glenn said.
"Alright, let's make a sweep. Make sure it's safe. Grab what you can," Daryl ordered and ducked under the fence. "We'll come back tomorrow with more people."
I stayed back, facing away from the building to keep looking for walkers. I doubted there would be any, but it was better than getting backed into somewhere we couldn't escape. I looked over my shoulder to see that Isaac was the last one who needed to get through, shuffling his feet as he stepped closer to the fence.
Then I realised his hesitance, that he didn't want to touch the fence because of the blood that coated the wire. As I walked around to his side, I could see the concentration on his face, and he rapped his fingers against his legs.
"Sorry," I said.
Isaac winced, his ears turning pink when he realised I was still there. "No, no. I got it," he said quickly.
He removed his bag, turning to the side to fit through the gap without touching either side. I saw his shoulders fall as he breathed a sigh, and I smiled. He scratched the back of his head, barely glancing back at me before walking ahead.
"You know we have to come back this way," I said, following after him.
"I'm trying not to think about it," he called back.
When I caught up with the others, they split up to clear the fenced-in area.
"C'mon," Daryl nodded for us to follow him.
I was a few paces behind the group, stopping to check the military tents when Daryl gestured for me to do so. Pulling my axe from the belt, I held it back over my shoulder, ready to strike, before yanking the door flap back. My heart stopped beating so fast when nothing jumped out at me, and the bodies here were just dried-up corpses.
"Clear," I said in a quiet voice.
Daryl nodded.
I followed them towards the store as the others had finished their searches. Michonne came and joined us, walking to the door and peering inside. Daryl did the same thing with the window, but no one made a move to go inside. There were too many unknowns.
"Do we just go in?" Zach asked, leaning against the wall.
Daryl sat down on the windowsill, leaning back against the glass. He banged his elbow against the window. "Just give it a second."
I watched Isaac move to look through the window but stopped when he saw the layer of dust that settled against the glass. He pulled his hand back and wandered around the area to busy himself. Maybe he was anxious, which I understood. I didn't like the pressure that came with runs, either.
"Okay, I think I got it," Zach blurted, bringing his foot up to rest on his knee.
"Got what?" Michonne asked behind him.
"I've been trying to guess what Daryl did before the turn." Zach moved to sit beside Daryl on the windowsill, placing the gun across his lap.
"He's been trying to guess for, like, six weeks," Daryl told her.
"Yeah, I'm pacing myself," Zach said and raised a finger.
"Alright, shoot." Daryl jutted his fingers to himself, waiting for the guess.
Zach stared at him for a second, licking his top hip and pinching his nose before he started. "Well, the way you are at the prison, you being on the council, you're able to track, you're helping people, but you're still being kind of . . . surly." Isaac let out a pfft sound, and Michoone made a face as she leaned against the wall. Zach gave each of them a look but continued. "Big swing here. Homicide cop."
Michonne started to laugh, leaning forward and using the wall to hold herself up. I saw Isaac roll his eyes and turn away, but everyone looked at Michonne.
"What's so funny?" Daryl asked.
"Nothing," Michonne said, shaking her head with the smile still plastered on her face. "It makes perfect sense."
"Actually, the man's right," Daryl gave me a wink as he glanced at me. "Undercover."
Zach stared at him in disbelief, not saying anything for a few seconds. "Come on, really?"
"Yep. I don't like to talk about it 'cause it was a lot of heavy shit, you know?"
"Dude, come on, really?" Zach asked, and Daryl gave him another nod and looked his way again. "Okay. I'll just keep guessing, I guess."
"Yeah, you keep doing that."
Zach hummed in agreement.
Walkers slammed against the window behind them, which startled me. I breathed out and shook my head, my shoe scraping against the ground as I turned away.
"We're gonna do this, Detective?"
"Let's do it."
They moved around the corner to the front door, and the others got ready. Sasha had her gun in front of her, aiming it when she realised we were heading in. It was a last resort, despite the silencer, she was just making it through.
Daryl opened the door, and Michonne walked in ahead of me. She took down both the walkers with one charge forward, the sword going through the first and then the second walker. When she pulled it back, they flopped down in front of her.
Tyreese moved past, dragging one of the walkers out and leaving it just outside the door. As he moved in for the second one, Sasha explained what she wanted from us. "Alright, we go in, stay in formation for the sweep. After that, you all know what you're supposed to look for. Any questions?"
"Was there ever a time that you weren't the boss of me?" Tyreese asked her.
She smiled. "You had a few years before I was born."
Their voices faded as they entered the building, and I went to follow them when I heard something. A walker? I couldn't tell over the distance music and quiet wind around me. I closed my eyes, turning my head to try and pinpoint the sounds, but I couldn't.
"Ace?" Isaac called, and I looked over my shoulder to see him waiting for me at the door.
"I thought I heard something," I shook my head and turned for the door. "It's nothing, come on."
Everyone grabbed shopping carts for their search. I grabbed a basket and walked off to wander the shop. I started in the tinned can aisle, grabbing whatever I could get into the basket as it grew heavier and heavier. Isaac was helping me, holding a basket of his own.
"You're different on runs," Isaac started.
I raised a brow and glanced his way. "How so?"
"I don't know, you're just more . . . focused?" He made a face like he said the wrong word, but no others came to my head as an alternative. Isaac couldn't seem to think of another, either, and he shook his head.
"It's important," I shrugged.
"I know," he said.
"What? You thought I didn't?"
"No, that's not what I—" he stopped, seeing the smile that worked its way onto my face. "Very funny."
I went to say I got you, copying the way he tricked me back on the day we met, but as I opened my mouth, there was a loud crash from across the room. I dropped the basket and sprinted toward the source of the noise, and rounded the corner to see Tyreese, Zach and Daryl standing near a shelf that came down. Bob was just sticking out from underneath.
Daryl knelt down next to him. "You alright? You cut or something?"
"No, man, but my foot is caught," Bob said.
"Alright. He's just caught," Daryl said, and Zach and Tyreese moved to help him. "Come on, help me lift this."
"What happened?" Glenn yelled out across the store.
"Everyone's alright. We're over in wine and beer," Zach called back.
The three of them lifted the first shelf, and I stayed back conscious of not getting in the way.
"Are you sure you're not hurt?" I asked. "We have supplies."
"No, no," Bob shook his head and looked up at Daryl. "I was moving fast, man. I drove right into the drinks."
"Man, you lucked out. If this thing had come down on you the wrong way . . ." Tyreese trailed off, kneeling down in front of him.
Tyreese stopped when there was an indecipherable creaking sound. And then light shot through the ceiling as the roof came down, a body falling with it. It cut down the stomach, and its intestines caught on plastic supports in the room which ripped down. The walker dangled down from the ceiling, swinging as it looked down at us.
I almost gagged. Isaac shot back away from the blood, and I could see him checking his shoes because the blood had splattered near him.
Glenn rounded the corner from the direction Isaac was moving towards, and he gave him a look before seeing the walker in the air. He got it. The panic and disgust were creeping onto his face, and his mouth hung open.
"Yeah, uh, we should probably go now," Glenn said.
"Bob's still stuck. Get him out of there," Daryl called, rushing back to the shelf.
"Can you lift it?" I asked hurriedly. "I have a jack in the car."
"We got it," Tyreese said, tapping my shoulder.
"We won't have enough time," Daryl cut in. "We don' know how many walkers are up there."
As they moved to the shelf, the roof came down again, and again and again as more and more walkers fell down. They landed on shelves, smashed boxes and splattered against the ground, and just when you thought it would stop, more kept coming. The room was getting lit up with the sun through the corpse-shaped holes.
"HEY!" Bob called.
I moved to help him, but when I stepped forward the sky opened up. I screamed and dove back, landing on the ground before the walker could land on me. Glenn stamped down on its head before it could grab me, and pulled me to my feet in an instant.
And then the rest of them started moving.
Glenn pushed me away as a walker followed him, and he called out for it, getting its attention. I had to step back because another came my way instead, and I grabbed my axe, waiting for the walker to get closer before killing it.
But then I stepped back into something hard, and I yelped, turning to face Isaac. He grabbed my arms to steady me, but before I could say anything he was taken down from the side by a walker between one of the shelves.
I switched hands with the axe, grabbing my gun and shooting the walker on him before it could take a bite, and reached down for his hand. He pushed the walker off, taking my hand with his gloved one, and I yanked him up.
"Thanks—" he stopped, his eyes flicking past me. "Watch it!"
The first walker that came after me was closer now, in range. I lifted the axe, jamming it in its mouth before it could bite me. Before I even pulled my gun up, Isaac came around and stabbed his knife down into its head.
I nodded thanks, glancing around for the others. There was screaming and yelling in every direction, more walkers than I could even count coming from every direction. All above us were more holes than roof, with almost every tile broken.
I heard a sound behind us and pushed Isaac back as I aimed my gun around the corner. Michonne was there, almost swinging her sword down until she realised it was us. Both of us breathed out, each glad we didn't kill the other.
"No one bit?"
I shook my head, holstering my gun. "No, no. We're good." Then I faced Isaac. "Right?"
He nodded. "All good."
"I-I think Bob's still stuck," Isaac said.
"Yeah," Michonne nodded. "Come on."
In the centre of the shop, I could hear Zach shouting. "Come on, get Bob!"
He and Daryl ran back to the shelf that came down. Zach had his back to it, pulling it upwards and using his back as leverage. I killed a walker that came around the corner, giving them some more time. Daryl grabbed Bob by his shoulders, yanking him along the ground until he was free, his foot unstuck and he was now able to stand. We turned to run, needing to get out before the helicopter that threatened to fall crushed us.
But screaming stopped me in my path, and I saw Isaac freeze in front of me. When I spun around, I saw a walker biting down on Zach's ankle. As he stepped to get away, he fell over and the walker moved upwards.
"NO!" I screamed, trying to rush past everyone to pull him away before he could get bitten anymore.
I needed to get its attention, praying that the walker would come for me instead of biting Zach again because we could save him. We could amputate his leg outside and he would live. He needed to live. But the walker continued moving up, still drawn to his screaming and he couldn't push it off.
And it bit down on his face.
"Zach!" Glenn yelled, and I could see the devastation on his face.
I pulled out my gun and shot the walker before I rushed forward to move him. But the roof bent inwards, and the green metallic box came down, and I could now see the remnants of the black logo painted on the side.
"Go! GO!" Daryl's voice came next.
The group shouted, their figures rushing out of the exit as the dust and rubble bounced on the ground. But I couldn't follow. Zach was still bleeding, still screaming. He was going to be crushed by the helicopter, suffocating to death under the rubble if he didn't bleed out first. If I did nothing, he would die a slow and painful death—And I wouldn't have been able to live with myself.
"I'm sorry."
I lowered my gun to his head, squeezing my eyes closed at the same time I pulled the trigger. The screaming stopped, and now I could hear the loud creaking as the helicopter came through the building and walkers that continued falling around me.
My legs carried me back before I knew that I had to run. The group was just ahead of me, the screaming of the building that crushed inwards behind me. I could see more slabs coming down from the roof, landing in my path ahead of me as the others made it out of the building.
I wasn't going to make it.
I jumped clear of the building. My arms came up, resting over my head as I landed on my side with a thud. A cloud of dust rushed past me, the heat covering my face and hands as I coughed. There were more groans and crashes from the building before it went silent.
Lying there for a second, I finally got brave enough to open my eyes. The outside awning had come down, held up by the rebars that had bent but not snapped—-the only thing saving my life right now. It kept the roof up in a diagonal shape supported by the side that hit the ground, a metre away from crushing my body.
There was no chance to catch my breath before the awning groaned, screeching out as a warning that it was going to fall. Hands came under my arms, dragging me up and backwards along the ground as the roof creaked, the rebars bending more and more until the other side of the awning fell down, the concrete slamming flat against the ground where I was just lying.
Daryl knelt next to me, saying something that I couldn't make out over the ringing in my ears. His hand was on my head, moving my head around like he was checking for injuries, but there weren't any. He grabbed my arms, pulling me up to my feet and holding me there for a second.
The building was in complete ruin now, roof and walls brought down by the helicopter that crashed on top. Every sound came to a halt, but I could still hear Zach's screams echoing, reminding me how much pain he was in before I shot him.
Seven.
I've killed seven people. There was nothing I could say, not even if I wanted to. I couldn't talk, couldn't breathe. I felt like I was dying. My chest quivered, threatening to gulp in the air, but pain settled and wouldn't go away.
"Ace." Glenn was in front of me now, hands resting on my shoulders as he leaned forward to look into my eyes. "Ace, are you hurt?"
"I—" my voice choked off with a sob. "I shot him."
A silence settled amongst the group. Glenn swallowed and went completely still, but he never stopped looking into my eyes. I couldn't read his expression, but tears spilt down my cheeks either way. I just killed someone, someone we knew.
"It's okay," Glenn whispered.
"He was screaming and—" I stopped, shaking my head. "Oh my God."
Glenn pulled me into his chest, his arm around my head to keep me close. "It's okay. There was nothing else you could've done."
I cried silently into his chest. I sniffed, hyperventilating and unable to suck in a real breath as Glenn flattened the hair on the back of my head. There was still nothing from the others, no talking or demands for us to go. Now it was just me, crying into Glenn's chest as I wrapped my arms around his back and hugged him tightly.
"Let's . . ." Daryl trailed off beside us. I felt a hand on my shoulder that I assumed was his, and he continued, "let's get outta here. Those walkers at the boombox could have heard all this."
"Yeah," Glenn agreed quietly.
My grip loosened, and Glenn grabbed one of my hands, keeping me close to him as we started to walk out of the army camp. We left through the same hole in the face that we entered through, and I stopped when I got through, making sure Isaac would be okay. He seemed even more hesitant this time but ducked low enough that he didn't get blood on him again. He didn't look at me as he followed Michonne to our car.
He hates me.
My chest hurt, and my grip tightened on Glenn's hand.
Tyreese and Sasha climbed into the truck behind and I saw Daryl start heading towards his bike. He glanced back at me—or Glenn—giving a concerned glance before standing over his bike, waiting for the rest of us.
"I'll drive," Michonne said as me and Glenn neared.
Glenn nodded wordlessly, giving her the bags to store in the boot. He opened the back door for me to climb in. I moved up, giving him the room to take the seat beside me, and he closed the door as he sat down. He reached an arm over and pulled me closer to him so I was leaning into his side.
In the front, I could see Isaac had taken the passenger seat, and he gave me one look before keeping his eyes ahead. He hates me, he hates me, he hates me. And then the car started, and we headed back to the prison.
I stood up on the balcony for a little while, trying to clear my head. Once everyone went to their cells, it was quiet; there were dim lights that made different corners of the room glow orange. It was nice to look at.
I was devastated for Beth. After talking to her, Daryl came to see me. He said that she didn't cry, that she didn't really want to anymore, and that she just changed her number-of-days-without-an-accident sign to zero.
He found it weird.
In all honesty, I don't remember ever seeing Beth cry, especially not since Winter and the war a few months ago. It was the same as Carl, how he stopped crying or even acting sad when bad things happened at the prison. Beth stopped crying and Carl got angry. Maybe they were just more used to everything than I was.
The metal of the steps creaked behind me, which made me jump, and I saw Rick walking up towards me. He had Judith in his arms, who was cooing and bouncing, waving her arms in joyous celebration like nothing happened that day.
It was nice that she didn't understand any of it.
"Hey," Rick greeted, leaning against the railing and sitting Judith on top of his arm.
"Hi," I said back, gently poking Judith in the side as she smiled my way.
"Glenn told me what happened today," Rick said. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," I promised.
Rick was quiet, and I could see a different expression hiding in his face. Something else was wrong, he was upset about something else. I couldn't work out what it was and raked my mind to figure out what happened.
"Are you okay?" I asked, after a moment.
"Yeah, I'm just thinking," he said quietly, bouncing Judith on his arm.
"Did—?" I stopped myself, now suddenly guilty that I hadn't asked Rick about what happened with the snares. When we got back to the prison Glenn told everyone about Zach, but I took some time for myself by hiding outside to be alone. I hadn't seen anyone. I should have asked sooner. "Did something happen with you?"
He sighed, looking down at his baby for a second. "There was this woman . . . she lost her husband and kept him as a walker. When I found out why she was luring me there she stabbed herself in the stomach."
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"No, no. Don't be," he shook his head. "She was too far gone. I was just thinking . . . that could have just as easily been me when I started seeing Lori. If you hadn't done what you did, I would've been lost, like her."
There was that, but now Rick had brought it up, I had often been worried about the same thing but for myself. That one day I would work myself into the ground the way he did and it would hurt me mentally. What happened today didn't make me feel any better about it.
"I shot Zach today," I mumbled after a long moment of silence, and Rick shot to look at me. I guess maybe the reason was to show that I wasn't as good as he was making out, giving him some more confidence in coming back himself. "He was bit, and the roof was coming down and . . ." I shook my head. "I just didn't want him to hurt anymore."
"Glenn said you almost died."
"I almost didn't make it out of the building," I agreed. "He . . . I don't know."
"There was nothing else you could've done," Rick said. "Glenn said the bite was in a place we couldn't amputate. What you did . . . it was better than letting him die in the way he would have."
"Yeah," I whispered.
I wished I could've felt better about that. Zach wasn't in as much pain thanks to me, he wasn't bleeding out getting eaten alive or suffocating in a pile of rubble. After the bite, I made it quick for him.
And it was killing me.
Rick squeezed my shoulder.
"I'm going to put Judith to bed," he said. "Try to get some sleep. I'll check in on you later, okay?"
I nodded. "Thank you."
"Night," he straightened up with Judith.
"Night," I mumbled back.
I watched Rick as he walked back down the stairs towards his own cell, and disappeared behind the curtain. There was his faint shadow behind the curtain where he had a dim light on. I sighed and kept staring ahead.
Until I heard more footsteps and looked back to see Isaac standing there behind me. Isaac stared at me with almost no emotion that I could pinpoint, something he was very good at. I clenched my teeth and stared at him. He hates me, he hates me.
"Hey," Isaac said, bringing me out of my train of thought.
"Hi," I managed to get out.
"I, uh. I heard you were up here."
He hates me.
I couldn't help but wonder why he said anything. Back at the store, he couldn't even look at me for more than a second, not that I blamed him. I killed one of our friends, I killed before, something he probably worked out by now.
My head turned back to look down at the table in C block.
"I, uh, just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what happened today," Isaac said. "And I think you did the right thing. Zach, he was in a lot of pain and he would've been crushed. I just . . . I don't think I could ever do something like that, and I'm sorry that you had to."
"I thought you hated me," I whispered.
"It was just a shock, you know? Zach was a good friend. And then you almost died, and you were covered in all that dust. I just . . . I couldn't think of anything to say," he winced. "Sorry. I am trying to get better with that."
I shook my head. "No, no. Don't . . . don't apologise."
I stood there for a moment, enjoying the now comfortable silence of knowing that Isaac didn't hate me. It didn't mean that he liked me, by any means, but at least he didn't think I was a monster for shooting one of our friends.
And then I felt guilty again, remembering Zach and Beth.
I took in a breath, closing my eyes for a second for a second. "It's different . . . It's different, killing someone you know."
Isaac nodded.
He leaned on the railing next to me, so close that I could feel the heat coming off of him. I felt my cheeks heating up, now glad that it was pitch black and no one else was around. I glanced his way, giving a small smile before looking down across C Block.
"I'm glad you didn't die," Isaac said.
"Same goes for you," I agreed.
His hand squeezed my arm for a second, over the top of my sleeve, but it still surprised me. I looked down just as he pulled back and his hand fell back to his side as he straightened up. My gaze moved up to his eyes when I realised just how much I liked his eyes. They were brown—the same as his hair—and gentle. He had a very expressive face that I'd never really noticed until now. I smiled, trying to shove down the butterflies in my stomach as he took a step back.
"Goodnight," Isaac smiled.
"Night," I smiled back.
