Author's Notes

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Hey, that noise sounds familiar! That's right, it's the NEW FANFIC ALARM!

Welcome aboard, Rat's Nest, to 'Jacques Schnee's B- Parenting,' the enthralling new story featuring fluff, childhood friends to lovers, Checkmate, Faunus!Weiss - damn, we're ticking all them boxes!

Jacques Schnee can't change the fact that his newborn daughter has Faunus wings, but he can change the world at large and the way it views Faunus as second-class citizens. After Jacques allies with the Belladonna's White Fang and turns the SDC into a champion of equal rights (while making sure to market his newfound 'activism' for every drop of PR he can), the world is an entirely different place seventeen years later when Weiss Schnee and her childhood friend Blake Belladonna go to Beacon to train as huntresses.

Be sure to check it out if you're interested - it's gonna be a long story (285k words) with laughs, cries, fluffs, and other such things!

Happy rats, and don't do crime!


Chapter 31 – Ruby's Climb

Mount Serathusa was odd to look at. Ruby knew intellectually that it was the highest mountaintop in all of Sanus, that its steep slopes were littered with naïve climbers that thought they could best it, that it was home to the Summer maiden so she could take full advantage of its natural defenses to deter those who would seek to steal her power from her.

But from the base of it, she could see the top. It really didn't look that far.

"Don't let the view trick you, girl," Hazel grumbled. "Mountain trekking is not nearly as simple as it seems."

"Uh-huh."

"Only half of the journey can be completed by walking. For the rest, we must scale sheer faces of rock with just the tools we can carry on our back. If the exhaustion coupled with altitude change doesn't kill us, the heat of the sun or the sand in the winds may."

"Yeah, no, I get it."

Ruby only had to tilt her head at thirty-degree angle to see the top of it. She wasn't stupid – she knew that it looked easy to outsiders but would be really tough when she actually got to it – but it was just so hard to wrap her mind around.

"Sólo tenemos un beneficio," Tyrian said, patting the hound. Its back was loaded with much of their gear for climbing, as well as a hearty portion of rations and water. "Nuestra fiel mula de carga nunca se cansa."

"That doesn't mean that our loads will be light," Hazel said.

Ruby ignored Hazel. Just about everything he did was some form of naysaying or obstructive 'advice.' As much as she despised Tyrian for what he was, she couldn't help but prefer his cheery company.


The base of the mountain was the easiest part to climb, if could even be called climbing. This was more like hiking.

Still, Ruby listened to Hazel's advice and paced herself. She'd heard plenty of stories about how arrogance in the face of nature's strength was the most dangerous phenomenon, and she refused to become a statistic. She wore her sunscreen and her sunhat to keep her pale skin from getting burned, she stopped every hour for a water break and a vibe check, and she called out to Tyrian and Hazel when her feet started getting sore.

"A blister might seem like a minor thing, but…well, it actually is."

"Pero una ampolla en el primer día arruinará tu viaje."

"Proper equipment can make the difference between life and death."

"Además, muchos viajeros olvidan que el viaje de regreso será igual de duro."

Ruby nodded, soaking in as much of their wisdom as she could. Hazel seemed a lot more talkative when it was a life-or-death journey to the top of a mountain as contrasted with his tight-lippedness back in Mistral. Tyrian, on the other hand, was just as chatty, but Ruby was getting pretty good at understanding him and his nonsense.

The first few hours of the hike were actually quite pleasant. The sun of Vacuo was surprisingly bearable, the air tasted far cleaner here than in the city, and the views…oh, the views. This desert was simply gorgeous. Ruby wished she could show Yang.

You know, I think I'll take her back here when this whole Salem business is done with.

Now that the maiden was nearly within her grasp, Ruby found that thinking about 'after' came much easier.

I'll be both the Summer maiden and the Spring maiden, making me more powerful than anyone else in the world, but that's all supposed to be kept lowkey. Personally, I'm more excited about how much my combat skills have grown. I'm probably better than most hunter graduates of the academies at my present level, so if I joined Yang's team, I'm sure I'd fit right in.

While her mission might not have been to spy, that didn't change the fact that she also had buttloads of incredibly valuable intelligence that could bring Salem to her knees. At the top of the list were the names of each and every minion of hers (looking at you, Lionheart) and a full description of their powers. With any luck, that would be enough for the good guys to arrest or neutralize them.

From there, she could give reincarnated Ozpin and Professor Goodwitch a detailed explanation of Salem's tactics and mindset. That kind of information could help the headmasters combat her more effectively.

It might be enough to turn the tide of the war in our favor.

Ruby grinned at the thought of it. Humanity was confined to four kingdoms and scattered settlements due to the Grimm, but if Salem were defeated or at least beaten back, humanity and the Faunus might be able to push the boundaries of the frontier far further than ever before. New territory meant more resources, greater population, increased innovation – it would be a golden age for Remnant, and all ushered in because of her!

"Rose?"

Ruby looked up at Tyrian. "Huh?"

"Es la hora de almuerzo."

Hazel nodded in agreement. "We must keep our strength up."

The trio broke camp and unloaded six ration packs from the hound's back satchel. Ruby took two, Hazel took four, and Tyrian sustained himself on the universe of the energy (and stole a generous portion from Hazel's when the big guy wasn't looking).

"Hey," Ruby said, her mouth stuffed with just-add-water potatoes. "I wanted to ask: why didn't we just fly to the top?"

"Magnetic interference," said Hazel. "It interferes with bullhead propulsion systems. Lìxià chose this peak for a reason."

Ruby petted the hound. "I bet you could wing your way to the top, couldn't'cha, boy?"

"Wing its way?" Hazel raised an eyebrow.

"I don't wanna say F-L-Y or he'll take it literally and leave us behind. Our doggo is just like my original pooch Zwei – say vet in his presence and ya boi would dive under the bed like he's digging for dad's adult magazines."

Ruby didn't understand those magazines at all. Yang's fashion magazines always had the men and women dressed in silly clothes that had prices and catalog numbers listed next to them, but the models in Dad's magazines weren't even wearing anything! Seriously, what brands were they even supposed to be advertising? It confused Ruby to no end.

"Que extraña," Tyrian said. "Nuestro sabueso no responde a mis comandos."

"I think it might be because Salem give me extra liberties," Ruby said. "You know, how she always is more patient with me and makes you guys do what I say. She probably had a chat with him before Ruby's eleven."

"It's more than that," Hazel said. "You weren't there for its inception and early days of training, but it barely obeyed her grace's orders on a good day. Even now, wrangling it is like making water flow backwards. And yet you have such control over it that it even obeys inadvertent commands."

"Quizás sean sus ojos," Tyrian said, his eyebrows raising as he finished off the last of Hazel's food that he stole.

"My eyes?" Ruby asked. "What about my…"

Silver eyes. It always somehow came back to them.

"If we're done eating, we should get a move on," Hazel said too quickly. He wanted to change the conversation.

Ruby let him.

As much as I'd like to know, now isn't the time. We're a two day's hike away from the Summer maiden, and I don't wanna rock the boat. There'll be time after it all.


When the sandstorm set in during the afternoon, Ruby began to see why progress uphill was going to be so slow. They hadn't even made it a full quarter of the way through their journey – heck, they'd barely completed a fifth – and the first day was already gone.

"Break camp here," Hazel said.

Don't need to tell me twice.

He'd seen it coming a mile away and told Ruby to get into her heavier outfit. Despite the fact that it made Ruby's internal temperature rise by an even 10 degrees Celsius, she found herself glad she'd listened to his advice as the sand buffeted her layers.

This would've been my face. Well, my aura, but I need to conserve that in case the fight with Lìxià is tough. Which, you know, it will be, since she's a pro-maiden.

Ruby knew next to nothing about the woman that lay at the end of her quest, save for her name and her gender. Presumably, she was Vacuoan, and probably she had huntress skills, but there was no guarantee.

"Hey, guys," Ruby called out.

"Wait until we pitch the tent," Hazel responded.

Ruby waited.

Moments later, when she was protected from the elements within a structure made from a large tarp and three poles dug deep into the sand, Ruby asked her question.

"Do we know anything about the Summer maiden?"

Both men shook their head. That hadn't been the answer Ruby was expecting.

"B-But Salem said she'd known all alo–"

"Salem did," said Hazel. "We were made privy to this knowledge at the same you were."

Tyrian put his palms together in a prayer-like position. "La diosa actúa de forma misteriosa."

"You know, I'm kinda curious," Ruby said, giving the hound a pat as it curled up to minimize the space it took in their cramped tent. "Tyrian, you worship Salem like a goddess, and you're a combat superman. How did that happen? Were you trained by someone?"

"Obviamente," he said. "Todos tienen maestros."

"But, like, who trained you with such diligence that you became the most dangerous huntsman on the planet? Did they not know that you were, ya know, axe-crazy? Or were they also one of Salem's?"

Tyrian shrugged. "Salem es todo lo que he conocido."

Hazel shook his head. "You won't get more out of him than that. Tyrian was with her grace as far as any can remember. I was her most recent convert, and Cinder before me, but even the good doctor cannot boast as long a term of service as our Faunus warrior." He straightened up slightly and bristled. "And I wouldn't call him the most dangerous huntsman on the planet."

"And what about you?" Ruby asked. "You're also leagues above most normal huntsmen."

"My story is simpler," Hazel said. "We have much in common. I, like you, was enamored with the huntsman life. I studied the names of every huntsman or huntress, I categorized their semblances in a private journal, I subscribed to every catalogue advertising their gear. However, the incident that propelled me to my destiny took place after I had already graduated from Beacon at the top of my class."

"And what incident was that?"

"Sleep."

"Sleep," Ruby repeated. "What, like, you fell asleep in class?"

"No," Hazel said, turning away from her and lying down directly on the ground. "It's time to sleep."

Ruby checked her scroll. "It's barely –"

Motion caught her eye, and she saw Tyrian shaking his head. Ruby decided to leave it at that; if Tyrian himself thought the subject was too taboo to touch on, she wouldn't press Hazel.


"I don't get it," Ruby said, slashing a dog-shaped Grimm in half. "Aren't they on our side?"

Hazel himself was too busy tearing an Alpha apart with his bare hands, so Tyrian answered Ruby's frantic question. "Son los imanes."

"What? How?!"

"Solo bromeo. Grimm, tan alejado de la gente, tiende a volverse loco cuando le presentan comida. Incluso el control de la diosa es limitado."

Ruby frowned at that. She could probably control them by beetlewalking and talking to them as Grubbie…except that was just giving them suggestions that they could choose to take. If they were feral with hunger or bloodlust or whatever drove them, they could just ignore her. Also, she wasn't tired enough to have to go to sleep.

It's not a problem. We'll just fight the Grimm and continue on up the mountain. You don't find the boss at the front of the dungeon. Lìxià is up there, waiting for us to be worn down by the obstacles on the way, but the joke's on her. We have enough rations that we can afford to rest up for an extra day before engaging her.

And when they engaged her…

Don't think about that. M-Maybe Grubbie can steal her powers without killing her. Or maybe I can tell her and she'll understand and…look, I'll think of something.

Ruby wasn't sure who she was justifying herself to.

I have to do this. I'm going to do this.

Ruby hoped the Summer maiden understood. If it came to that. No, wait, she hoped it didn't come to that.


"Sixty-four boxes of Pumpkin Pete's on the walls, sixty-four boxes of Pete's! Take one down, pass it around…"

Hazel and Tyrian said nothing and continued to walk up the indistinct path..

Ruby looked at the hound.

"Carry the," it breathed. "Carry the."

She shrugged and kept singing to herself. "Sixty-three bottles of Pete's on the wall."


Around mid-afternoon on the third day, they came across the first serious hurdle. The boredom was only a minor nuisance, and the Grimm had been fairly easy to tear through (it was mostly Vacuo variant of Beowolves, called Dholases), but the sheer vertical rock wall didn't look like it had a visible end in sight. According to Tyrian, they were going to have to scale it using the equipment they had brought.

There was just one crippling problem with this strategy – half of their equipment was missing.

"¿Dónde está la mierda, perro?" Tyrian roared. Any other being would've wilted in panic at earning the madman's ire, but the hound stood its ground bravely. Actually, it probably just didn't know how to interpret his fury or the appropriate way it was expected to react.

"It had it this morning," Hazel said, running a hand through his hair to brush off the sweat. "I saw fully loaded when we set out."

Ruby inspected the straps that fastened the few remaining packs to the doggo. "Could it have dropped it? We could trace our footsteps…"

She looked back just in time to see her last footstep blow away in the sand and rock from the wind. Darn.

"Incluso si pudiéramos…"

Ruby turned to Tyrian as he trailed off, and he averted his gaze.

"What?" she asked.

He twiddled his hands together. "Señorita Rose…"

"What?" she asked again, slightly louder. If there was something she needed to be told, he could just spit it out. The prolonged exposure to the heat was making her a bit cranky, and Tyrian's suddenly demure and reserved behavior wasn't doing anything to improve her temperament.

Hazel intervened before Ruby could explode at Tyrian. "The bags contained rations in addition to climbing gear. We've lost too much to reasonably continue. Our only recourse is to turn back."

"WHAT?!" she screamed. They were too far from the summit to be heard by the Summer maiden's ears, so her volume didn't matter. It did make Tyrian flinch, though.

"We must retreat," Hazel said resolutely, the steadiness returning to his voice. He might've had his doubts, but he rarely ever missed a chance to look tough and try to one-up Ruby.

She wasn't having it this time, though.

"We can't turn back. Three days, wasted? And then another three days to get to the summit, however long it takes to run back home to Evernight with our tails tucked between our legs, restock, and fly back? That's too much down time."

"This is a marathon, not a sprint. Remember, even if we found and slew the maiden, we would need to plan for our return trip. There's at least two days of hiking left to the peak, meaning that we have seven days total ahead of us." He hoisted his own backpack off his shoulders and gestured to the remaining materials on the back of the hound. "If we ration carefully, we might have two and a half days of food and water left. Rose. We must turn back."

Ruby looked to Tyrian for support.

"Nuestras muertes serían un fracaso para la diosa, peor que cualquier retirada," he said meekly.

Ruby rolled her eyes. The two of them were being stupid. If they failed this, Salem might…everything might…

They'd spent so long…

Ruby could almost taste…

No. No, they weren't going back. Ruby looked up the cliff that needed scaling and did her best to approximate its height. She placed it at roughly between eight hundred to one thousand feet. They lacked climbing equipment, and no amount of gumption could replace rope and harnesses, but the hound still had one pack with it. If they used that for Hazel, who was probably too ungainly to ascend the slope without it, Tyrian could hang on his back, and Ruby could use her semblance to run halfway up. She would probably run out of steam halfway and need to catch her breath, but if she stabbed Crescent Rose into the rock face deep enough, it could make a decent perch.

"Stop thinking whatever it is you're thinking. Rose, it's over."

"Ruby, por favor. Y-Yo asumiré la culpa."

At the halfway point, she could run the rest of the way up by jumping off her scythe. That meant leaving it behind, but Hazel could grab it on his way after her. It might take a couple of tries, but if she missed, a fall from a thousand feet or less wouldn't kill someone with aura. Heck, it might not even break her legs.

Sighing, Ruby reached into the hound's remaining backpack and pulled out a large canteen of water. As she unscrewed the lid, it took all her willpower not to gulp down the lukewarm beverage within.

We've come too far. I don't get to quit, even if I want to.

Ruby inverted the canteen, pouring its contents onto the ground.

Hazel reacted faster than Tyrian, panickily grabbing it out of her hands and flipping it right side up, but by the time he did, it was almost entirely empty save for a few drops. He held the empty cannister in his hands for a few seconds before crushing it within his grip.

Tyrian's eyes widened, and he let out a deep breath of air.

Ruby shrugged. "Now we don't have the rations to make the trip back to the airship at the base either. Now, if Lìxià lives at the top of this mountain and never comes down because it's such a good hiding spot, she must have food and drink up there for herself. If we're lucky, she even has a farm and a well up there with her, but even if it's just a full pantry and a case of water bottles in a log cabin, our only hope of survival is at the top of the mountain."

Ruby took the squished canteen out of Hazel's fingers, which offered no resistance. Good – he might be pissed, and they all were going to be thirsty for the next leg of the journey, but no one was going to be arguing with Ruby's plan.

Ruby hurled the empty jug as far as she could away from them. "Now let's go. We're burning daylight."


Coming Soon – Ruby's Climb


And now, a tip from Ruby:

Ruby's Tip #902 – Afraid of getting mugged when you go out jogging? Carry a whistle with you. That way, you can whistle a nice tune and put the mugger in a good enough mood to spare you.


Author's Notes

Ruby: It be too late to alter course now, mateys!

Ruby's made her choice – she won't be turning around when she's this close to her maiden target. Not even her faithful mule losing his grub. It's funny to just write Tyrian being a sketchy bloke but in a completely random-ass language. Like, what was today, Ethiopian or some shit?

Instead of a beach episode, we get a backpacking episode. Ruby will light up the kerosene stove while Tyrian sets the anti-mosquito candles around the campsite.

Happy rats, and don't do crime!