Chapter 56
Hermione POV
"For the record, I fancy you Hermione…"
That's all Hermione heard before her head and heart nearly exploded. Confirmation that Ginny fancied her. Right out of Ginny's mouth. Ginny Weasley fancied her. She could tell her face probably looked wild with all of the emotions that were swirling through her head, but she couldn't do anything but stare at the redhead standing in front of her. After all she'd just said, after all she'd just denied, after everything Ginny had clearly seen right through, Ginny Weasley said she fancied her.
Suddenly, Ginny was turning and walking away from her. Hermione couldn't find her voice, couldn't get her legs to follow after the girl. She just stood there, silently, watching her best friend walk away from her.
Once Ginny was out of sight, Hermione sat back down on the log that previously held both girls. She looked at the now mostly empty picnic basket, then picked up the 12 envelopes Ginny had gifted her and shuffled through them. Then, she thought about Juliette, and her breath caught in her chest. Harry was right, it was completely unfair of her to still be with Juliette while she was harboring feelings for Ginny. She couldn't deny it any longer. She loved Juliette, yes, but these feelings for Ginny were not going to go away anytime soon, she could feel it. She may even love Ginny. And Ginny fancied her. Knowing that now… She couldn't in good conscience remain with Juliette. Even though she loved the girl. Even after all they'd been through. The feelings for the youngest Weasley remained, and they were stronger than ever.
Hermione placed the envelopes into the picnic basket and made her way back up towards the castle as the sky gradually darkened. The common room had a few scattered Gryffindors at tables or in chairs working on assignments for the upcoming week. She spotted Ron and Lavender cuddled up by the fireplace and approached them.
"Have you seen Ginny?"
Ron turned to look at her over his shoulder, looking slightly confused, "Wasn't she with you? I thought you were going on a walk down by the lake?"
"Well, yes, she was with me, but she left before me and – "
"What'd she do that for? That's rude of her."
"It's fine Ron, really, I just was wondering if you'd seen her, that's all," Hermione said calmly.
"I haven't, but if I do, I'll be sure to tell her off."
"That's not at all necessary Ron, everything's fine," Hermione said as casually as she could as she headed up towards the girls' dormitories.
Once she got to Ginny's dormitory door, she debated on knocking, but ultimately decided on taking her envelopes and leaving the empty basket outside of the room. Thankfully, once she entered her own dormitory, it was empty. She placed the envelopes on the stack of books she'd received from her parents, and picked up the perfume from Juliette. Even though she knew it would be painful, Hermione sprayed a bit of it into the air anyway, and couldn't help but burst into tears. All of the memories she had with Juliette came flooding back. This girl had been so good to her, and while she desperately wished she could just stay with her, she knew it was the wrong thing to do. It was completely unfair for her to stay with Juliette when she had very real and strong feelings for Ginny. Even though that's how the whole relationship started, it'd gone so far beyond that now, it wasn't okay anymore. Juliette didn't deserve it.
Hermione pulled out a roll of parchment and a quill and began writing. Piece of parchment after piece of parchment was crumpled up and discarded beside her bed, one after the other. As her dormmates arrived and got ready for bed, Hermione pulled the curtains around her so as to not disturb them or have them disturb her, as she desperately wanted to get this done tonight. Her frustration grew as she struggled to string the right words together. Finally, in the early hours of the morning, Hermione settled on a short letter.
Juliette,
Thank you so much for the birthday present. As always you are extremely thoughtful and generous. I know you barely have time to send me these letters, so this will be a big ask, but is there any way that I could see you or talk to you? In person, if possible?
Hermione
Hermione cringed at how emotionless the letter was, but she didn't want to lead Juliette on or hurt her more than she knew she already would be. Deep down, she knew she couldn't do this over a letter. If it was possible, she wanted to see Juliette and have a conversation with her, even though it would likely be incredibly painful. Juliette deserved more than a break-up via a letter. She folded the parchment in half, set it on top of the stack of envelopes from Ginny, and fell asleep as soon as she rolled over.
Later that morning, Hermione woke early. She was exhausted from staying up so late, but was anxious to get the letter sent off to Juliette. She had fallen asleep in the clothes she wore the day prior, so she quickly changed into fresh clothes and was on her way to the owlery. Every step she took, her anxiety grew. She was sending this letter to break up with her first girlfriend, who arguably, was incredible.
She doesn't deserve this. She deserves the best, and you're not what's best for her if you refuse to fight these feelings for Ginny.
Hermione's thoughts kept her moving forward, but she could feel the tears building up behind her eyes as well. This was heartbreaking, but she knew she was doing what was right.
Once she arrived at the owlery she chose a large and strong looking barn owl and attached the letter to its leg.
"This needs to go to Beauxbatons Academy of Magic. It is for Juliette Marat."
The owl looked at her briefly, then took off. As soon as it was out of sight, Hermione leaned against the grimy wall of the owlery, covered her face with her hands, and let the tears flow freely. This was the first step in breaking up with Juliette, and now all she could do was wait for a response that she almost wished would never come.
A few days had passed, and not only had Hermione not received a response from Juliette, but she'd barely seen Ginny as well. That was for the best, Hermione decided, as she didn't want to talk to Ginny until after she'd broken up with Juliette. She had no idea what she'd say or do, but seeing as she clearly had little to no self-control when she was around Ginny and she now knew that Ginny fancied her, she felt it was best to steer clear of her until she was able to talk to Juliette.
A full week had passed now since Hermione's birthday. Still nothing from Juliette, still only the odd sightings of Ginny either down a random corridor or in the Great Hall at mealtime. She was typically with Demelza, Colin, and Ritchie, but Hermione had also noticed that every once in a while, those three would be swapped out for Katie, and that was not something that Hermione enjoyed one bit. It wasn't possible that in one week's time Ginny had moved on from her, was it?
That evening, Hermione was eating dinner with Ron, Harry, Dean, Seamus, Parvati, Lavender, and Neville. The Great Hall seemed to be louder than usual, and when the topic of conversation in her group unsurprisingly turned to Quidditch, Hermione was irritated. She understood the hold that the sport had on the wizarding community, but this evening it rubbed her particularly the wrong way as it reminded her of both Juliette and Ginny and the situation that she was currently stuck in limbo in. Hermione looked down the Gryffindor table at Ginny, who was laughing with Demelza, Colin, and Ritchie as she ate. The laughter made her smile, even though she hadn't had contact with the girl in a week.
Suddenly, the Great Hall got quiet. Hermione, thankful for the sudden decrease in volume, didn't think much of it, until Harry nudged her hard as he stared at the doors to the Great Hall. There, standing in the open doorway, was Juliette. She was dressed not in her Beauxbatons uniform, but somewhat casually for her. She had on a blue Quidditch sweater with the emblem from the French national team, dark grey joggers, and white trainers. Of course, as casually as she was dressed, she was still stunning. Her hair was intricately plaited back in her signature three rows that led into a high ponytail. Her makeup was done perfectly to highlight all of her flawless features, and Hermione could see her hazel eyes glistening from where she sat. She could also see that Juliette was staring right on her, and as soon they locked eyes, she was calmly and confidently walking towards her at the Gryffindor table.
"'Ermione," Juliette said calmly as she stopped in front of where Hermione sat. Hermione couldn't breathe she was so taken aback by Juliette's presence and the sudden awareness of why she was here, physically in front of her in the Hogwarts Great Hall.
Was she going to want to have this conversation in front of everyone? Did she know what the conversation was about? Was she angry?
Juliette's eyes gave nothing away, they just stared deeply into Hermione's.
"H – Hi… What are you – "
"You asked me to come, did you not?" Juliette said with a hint of a smile on her face.
"I – I did, you're right," Hermione stammered, her face turning red.
"Come on, zen," Juliette said, offering her hand to Hermione. Hermione could feel everyone's eyes on her as she took Juliette's hand and stood up from the table.
As they walked towards the doors of the Great Hall, Juliette looked forward, like she was oblivious to the entire Hogwarts student body watching them. Hermione tried to do the same, except for one glance she shot to where Ginny was sitting. She found that Ginny was no longer sitting with just Demelza, Colin, and Ritchie as she was moments ago, as Katie had joined the group of four. Katie was speaking rapidly into Ginny's ear as Ginny's eyes were locked on Hermione and Juliette. Hermione made eye contact with her for a moment before Ginny tore her eyes away to focus on Katie. By that point, she and Juliette had reached the doors and were exiting the Great Hall.
"Where would you like to go?" Juliette said calmly.
"Um… How about the benches by the greenhouses?" Hermione managed to get out.
Juliette nodded and they continued walking towards the doors leading out of the castle. Hermione noted how her hand felt in Juliette's – safe and secure. Her stomach lurched at the thought of what their conversation would be about, and she felt guilty continuing to hold Juliette's hand, but at the same time she couldn't bear to break the hold. If this was the last time she'd be touching Juliette, she selfishly wanted to make it last.
It was a beautiful early fall evening on the grounds. The air was somewhat warm and carried a light breeze that rustled the leaves that were just beginning to change color. As they approached the bench where Hermione told Juliette she loved her for the first time, Juliette motioned for Hermione to sit. She did, and Juliette sat beside her, still not breaking the hold on her hand. They sat quietly for a moment, looking over the grounds. Hermione's nerves were taking over her, but Juliette seemed calm. Hermione finally mustered up enough courage to look at Juliette. She somehow had forgotten just how beautiful she was. Juliette turned to look at Hermione, and smiled gently, though her eyes looked like they already knew what was going to happen.
"Why 'ave you asked me to come to 'Ogwarts, 'Ermione?" she asked calmly.
Hermione couldn't help but burst into tears. Juliette pulled her into her chest, and Hermione accepted the comfort. She could feel Juliette's strong arms wrapped around her protectively, but that did nothing to distract from the fact that it was as if she could physically feel her heart breaking inside of her.
"Shhh…. It is okay, 'Ermione…" Juliette whispered into Hermione's hair. She planted a delicate kiss on the side of Hermione's temple, causing Hermione to look up at her. Their faces were very close, close enough for Hermione to be tempted to lean forward and kiss her, but she knew it wouldn't be the right thing to do.
"I… We… I'm a horrible, horrible person…" Hermione got out between her sniffles. Juliette shook her head, but Hermione nodded, "I am Juliette, I am!"
"What 'as 'appened to make you a 'orrible person? Explain to me why you are saying zat?" Juliette asked patiently.
"I – I fancy Ginny… And I can't stop it. I haven't tried as hard as I should, and I can't stop it. I've almost kissed her a few times, I don't know what's wrong with me! You're perfect! The only thing that isn't perfect is the distance, but I should be able to handle that! I just saw you a month ago, this shouldn't be such a problem, but it is! I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better than me, and I – "
Hermione was cut off by Juliette's lips on hers. She'd taken Hermione's face in her hands, and was kissing her, firmly. It was a few moments before Hermione understood that it wasn't her own tears making their faces wet, but Juliette's.
As they pulled apart, Juliette dabbed at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, and Hermione did the same with her own.
"You are not 'orrible, 'Ermione. You are 'uman. I was waiting for zis to 'appen, I knew it was a possibility. And not because I did not trust you or zat I zought you 'ave no self control, but because deep down I knew zat zere was a possibility zat you would always love Ginny more. Zere is no right or wrong 'ere, it just is what it is. You love Ginny, yes?"
Hermione stared at Juliette, taking in what she had just said, then nodded slowly, "I think I do, yes."
Juliette offered her a sad smile, and nodded as well, "You 'ave loved 'er for a long time. I may be perfect, yes, I will not deny zat," she chuckled lightly, "But I believe zat Ginny is perfect for you, 'Ermione…"
Hermione began to cry again, as did Juliette.
"You were… The best first girlfriend… I could've ever asked for…" Hermione said between sobs.
Juliette reached over to wipe away Hermione's tears before taking her hands in hers and kissing them, "Zank you for showing me 'ow to love, and what it feels like to be loved, 'Ermione… You 'ave changed me for ze better, and I will forever be zankful of zat…"
"I love you, Juliette…" Hermione mumbled, pressing her forehead against Juliette's.
"I love you too, 'Ermione…" Juliette whispered.
They looked into each other's eyes for a while, tears running down their faces, before Hermione broke the contact. She moved so she could put her head on Juliette's shoulder and Juliette put her arm around her, pulling her in close. They sat at the bench for a long time, until the night sky had stars scattered across its darkness.
"I want to zank you, 'Ermione… You could 'ave just gone after Ginny while stringing me along… Zat shows zat you are not a 'orrible person. I 'ave done zat many times before, but I do not zink zat I will do so ever again," Juliette said quietly, looking down at Hermione.
Hermione looked up at her, and gave her a small smile, "Whoever ends up with you is going to be the luckiest person in the world, you know that?"
Juliette grinned for a moment, then looked Hermione seriously in the eyes, "Actually, I zink ze luckiest person in ze world will be Ginny…"
Hermione's eyebrows lifted up in shock.
"You deserve only ze best treatment, remember zat always. You send little Ginny my way if she is not treating you accordingly, yes?" Juliette raised her own eyebrows this time, expectantly.
Hermione shook her head and laughed lightly, "How can she possibly live up to the high standards you've set, Miss Marat?"
Juliette shrugged, "She 'as big shoes to fill, zat is for sure…"
They both laughed lightly and settled back in to each other, looking up at the stars.
"When do you have to go back?" Hermione asked reluctantly.
"Tonight," Juliette said softly, "With 'ow you wrote ze letter you sent me, I figured what zis talk would be about and did not want to plan on staying 'ere too long. Now I am regretting zat, but I am sure it is still for ze best zat we do not prolong my stay."
Hermione nestled in deeper to Juliette, trying to memorize as many facets of her as she could. A colder gust of wind hit them, and she was reminded of the necklace around her neck. She pulled it out from under her sweater and unclasped it, moving to hand it to Juliette.
"Will you promise me something?" Hermione asked, holding the necklace above Juliette's outstretched hand.
"Yes?"
"Find someone who deserves you. Someone who loves you and appreciates you for you. Not for Quidditch, not for your looks, not for your reputation. Someone who loves you for your mind and your heart. Okay?"
Juliette looked at her for a bit before nodding, "I promise…"
Hermione gently placed the necklace into Juliette's hand, and took a deep breath. Juliette tucked the necklace into her jogger pockets, then stood up.
"I should probably go…" Juliette said slowly.
Hermione's heart again felt like it was physically shattering inside her chest. It was over, they had broken up, but she couldn't bear to never see Juliette again.
Juliette continued, "I zink I need some space for now, but not forever… Would zat be okay? Do you zink we could someday be friends?"
Hermione nodded tearfully, "Of course. I don't want you out of my life forever. I couldn't imagine that."
Juliette nodded, then leant down and placed a soft kiss on Hermione's forehead, "I will reach out when I am ready, yes?"
Hermione again nodded, already missing the feeling of Juliette's lips on her skin.
"Remember what I said, only ze best treatment for you…" Juliette said somewhat sternly as she started backing away from Hermione.
"You as well! Find someone that deserves you and loves all of you, okay? Promise?"
"I promise… Goodbye, 'Ermione…" Juliette said with one last sad smile, her bottom lip trembling.
"Goodbye Juliette…" Hermione managed, spurring Juliette to turn and walk off back towards the castle.
How Juliette was getting back to Beauxbatons, Hermione was unsure. The only thing she was sure of was the feeling of a gaping hole in her chest where her heart used to be. Once Juliette was out of sight, Hermione buried her head in her hands and cried, possibly harder than she ever had.
Once Hermione was finally able to get herself together, she made her way back into the castle. It was late, and there were only a few Hogwarts students strewn across the Great Hall that she could see as she passed, either talking or working on schoolwork. She continued through the empty corridors heading for Gryffindor Tower when she spotted Dean.
"Hey, Hermione! I was just coming to look for you. Harry and Ron insisted you'd be fine and not to worry, but it seemed a little late for you to be out, even if you were with Juliette, and – Hermione?" Dean gave Hermione a worried look as he walked towards her. He didn't see them as he was walking towards Hermione and talking, but Ginny and Katie had passed through the corridor behind him, and Katie was dragging Ginny along by the hand.
Clearly, Hermione was wrong earlier. She'd thought there was just a gaping hole where her heart used to be after she said goodbye to Juliette, but she could feel something breaking in her chest now, and she undoubtedly knew it was her heart breaking at the sight of Katie and Ginny together, holding hands.
It only took all of one week for her to get over her feelings for me? Clearly, I'm a fool for thinking Ginny wouldn't be able to move on to the next available girl.
"Uh, Hermione? Are you okay?" Dean asked, a look of concern on his face, "Where's Juliette?"
Hermione took a deep, settling breath, "She was only stopping by for a brief visit. Yes, I'm quite alright. Thank you for checking on me Dean, I appreciate it."
Hermione gave what was hopefully a convincing smile to the tall boy and they set off together towards Gryffindor Tower. As they walked, Hermione worked diligently to calm herself down from what had just happened.
It doesn't matter if Ginny is with someone else already, you did the right thing. It was wrong to be with Juliette while you fancied Ginny, and you know it. You did the right thing, do not regret breaking up with Juliette, she deserved better.
But Hermione did regret it. She regretted it immediately. If she had known Ginny was with Katie, would she have been able to move on from her feelings for the redhead? Would she have been able to continue her relationship with Juliette after all?
It wasn't just Ginny making that relationship difficult… The distance and lack of communication was awful as well… It just wasn't working, and you both deserved better… Maybe someday it will work out, but now is not the right time…
Hermione battled with her thoughts all the way up into the common room. She and Dean said goodnight, then headed up to their dormitories. As Hermione opened the door, she was met with Parvati and Lavender who had clearly waited up for her.
"Oh, how romantic of Juliette to come and surprise you! That was a surprise, wasn't it? You seemed surprised, oh, how sweet of her! You two are the cutest! Well, after me and Won-Won, of course…" Lavender gushed as Hermione sat on the edge of her bed, emotionally exhausted.
"Was she only here for the evening?" Parvati asked.
Hermione nodded, then rubbed her eyes tiredly, "It was somewhat of a surprise, yes, and she was only here for the evening, yes. I'm sorry, but I'm pretty exhausted and need to get some sleep. Can we talk in the morning?"
Lavender grinned at Hermione, "Oh, I'm sure you're tired! Yes, of course, we'll talk in the morning!"
Hermione blinked at the insinuation, then closed her curtains in around her, cast the Imperturbable Charm, and cried. All night long, she cried about Juliette and she cried about Ginny.
AN: I have a feeling a good amount of people aren't going to be incredibly pleased with this chapter, and honestly, I'm pretty sad about it as well, but it was always going to happen. Juliette is a character that I loved writing, and I will say that we haven't seen the last of her, if that's any consolation.
In other news, I'm going to try to get back on schedule for posting once a week! Again, reviews are always welcome and appreciated :)
