Summary:
"He takes a deep breath. 'You got hurt again,' he mumbles. 'Except, this time…'
'This time what?'
Jonas squeezes his eyes shut. 'This time I think you died.'"
OR
Present-Day AU. A malfunctioning time travel device and a harrowing mission force Sam and Jonas to finally confront what happened in Florida. But they're running out of time to clear the air before Jonas' latest vision comes true - a vision of Sam's impending death. Sequel to "band-aids don't fix bullet holes."
A/N: Hello! Once again I'm excited to share this chapter since it's been one of my favorites to write so far. We're slowly inching our way back to plot territory but I'm indulging a bit more character fluff before we really dive back into it because trust me, we're all going to need it 😆 As I mentioned last time, I'll be listing out possible content/trigger warnings at the beginning of each relevant chapter just to be safe. Anyway, that's all I have for now - thank you as always for reading!
CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER
-discussion of infidelity
-implied past relationship abuse
Chapter 4: i am bound to you (with a tie that we cannot break)
He wakes to an unfamiliar room, with a familiar body in his arms.
Jonas blinks as he comes to, squinting at the ray of sunlight streaming in through the window. He scans his surroundings in an attempt to get his bearings. At first he recognizes nothing. But after a few moments his mind catches up with him, and the memory of the previous night rushes in.
Sam, he thinks.
He looks down, expecting to see her sleeping next to him. But the figure snuggled in his arms isn't her. It's someone else, someone he hasn't seen in years.
The figure stirs and gazes up at him. "Hi," she says softly.
Jonas nearly chokes on the lump in his throat. "Carina," he murmurs.
His ex-fiancée smiles and props herself up on her elbow. The sunlight bathes her auburn hair in a fiery glow. "It's been awhile," she whispers.
Jonas swallows. This has to be some kind of dream. "What are you doing here?" he asks.
Carina lifts a hand and straightens his hair. For a moment his chest swells with that old, familiar ache of affection and yearning. But it disappears as quickly as it comes. When her fingers trail down to his cheek, he feels nothing but emptiness and the sting of betrayal.
Carina lets her hand linger on his face. "Have you missed me?"
Jonas inhales. "I did. For awhile."
"And now?"
He holds her gaze. "I've moved on."
Her brows knit together in what looks like pity. "How's that been working out for you?"
He frowns, pulling away from her. "What are you talking about?"
She tilts her head at him. "You know."
"No, I don't."
Carina shifts so that she's sitting up against the headboard. "Jonas," she says almost condescendingly, "do you really think this is going to end well?"
Frustration stirs in his gut. "Carina, seriously, what are you talking about?"
Carina sighs. "She's nice," she murmurs, reaching for him again.
Jonas lets her thread her fingers through his hair, although the gesture doesn't bring him any comfort. "You mean Sam?" he asks.
She nods. "I can see why you like her," she says.
Jonas' jaw tightens. "Well, she is pretty loyal."
A shadow passes over Carina's face. "Jonas, I'm sorry about how things ended between us. Really."
He scoffs. "You cheated on me with my best friend."
"And I'm sorry for that. I truly am."
Sorry isn't enough, he thinks. It never was.
Carina sighs again. "Look, whatever you may think of me, I still care about you."
Jonas lets out a huff.
Carina continues on. "You're going to get hurt again."
His head snaps back towards her. "What do you mean?"
Carina looks him in the eye. "I know how much Sam means to you," she says, "but she won't ever love you the way you want her to."
Jonas opens his mouth to speak, but whatever words he meant to say die on the tip of his tongue.
Carina presses on. "If I couldn't do it, what makes you think she will?"
Jonas' eyes start to burn. He blinks the tears away before Carina catches sight of them. "She isn't you," he croaks.
"Maybe not," Carina sighs, "but she's not much different. She'll string you along for as long as she thinks she needs you, and then when she doesn't anymore, she'll leave you behind. Are you sure you can live with that?"
He sits up, indignation now coursing through his veins. "Sam is nothing like you," he grinds out. "And I don't need her to feel any sort of way about me. As long as she's my friend, that's enough."
"Is it really?"
"Yes."
Carina shrugs. "Well, if telling yourself that makes you feel better, then go right ahead," she says. "But it won't change the truth. Even if she survives, you'll never be anything more than an afterthought to her."
Before Jonas can formulate a reply, Carina closes the space between them and presses a kiss to his forehead. "Goodbye, Jonas," she whispers against his skin. "I'm sorry about everything. I really am."
Jonas shuts his eyes. After a moment, the warmth of her body disappears. Carina is gone, leaving behind the weight of her words and the ghost of a broken promise - a crack in his heart he knows he'll never quite be able to fill.
He opens his eyes to sunlight again. But this time it feels different.
The body in his arms stirs, and he glances down to see a mop of blonde hair nestled against his shoulder. He breathes a sigh of relief. He's really awake this time. Good.
Sam exhales and nuzzles his neck. Her hand clings to the collar of his shirt, as if, even in sleep, she's somehow afraid of losing him.
But maybe that's just wishful thinking on his part. Maybe Carina - or the dream version of her - is right. Maybe Sam really is stringing him along, and she'll only keep him around for as long as he can provide some semblance of security.
But then he thinks back to the day before, when she insisted on cheering him up and then practically begged him to stay the night so she could look after him. She was worried about him. She's always worried about him, he realizes. Sometimes even at her own expense. Someone like that can't only have her own interests at heart. No matter what still lies unspoken between them, she cares about him. That he's certain of.
Sam would never leave him behind.
He moves his head and presses a kiss to her temple. She's as beautiful in her vulnerability as she is in her fierceness, and he can't bring himself to let her go. Especially not with the threat of his vision looming on the horizon. "I won't let anything happen to you," he whispers, lifting a hand to stroke her hair. "I owe you that much."
Jonas closes his eyes, relishing the weight of Sam in his arms. He dozes off again until a wet tickling sensation rouses him from his sleep.
"Mrrow," Schrödinger trills, his nose hovering inches from Jonas' face.
Jonas laughs. "Good morning to you too," he whispers.
Schrödinger nuzzles Jonas' forehead and resumes licking his hair. Jonas holds back another laugh. "You hungry, buddy?" he asks quietly.
"Brrrp," Schrödinger replies as if to say yes.
Jonas glances down at Sam. She looks so peaceful that he decides not to wake her. "I'll feed you, big guy," he says, reaching up to scratch Schrödinger between the ears. "Let's let your mom sleep in."
Schrödinger gives his palm an affectionate head bonk and leaps off the bed onto the floor. Jonas turns back to Sam, realizing that she's still clinging to his shirt. Gently, so as not to disturb her, he pries her hand free. He lifts it to his lips and kisses her knuckles.
"I'm not leaving," he murmurs, slowly slipping out of her grasp. "I promise."
Sam wakes to the smell of bacon.
She's confused at first. She doesn't remember inviting anyone to her house, especially not at this hour. But then she sees the indentation on the pillow next to her, and her memory resurfaces.
Jonas.
The space beside her is still warm. She runs her hand across the sheets, imagining Jonas still lying there. Her body aches at the loss of contact. It's been so long since anyone held her the way he did the night before, offering comfort with no expectation of anything else in return. With Pete there were always expectations, ones she refused to meet when she didn't feel like meeting them. Her "stubbornness" always ended in a fight, and it was one of the reasons she eventually realized that he and Hanson were cut from the same cloth. She wishes, and not for the first time, that the past could be easier to change. How much happier would she be if she didn't have to lug around so many burdens?
Sam sighs and scoots out from under the covers. She's too exhausted to think right now. Maybe breakfast might clear the cobwebs from her mind. She washes up and brushes her hair, then makes her way to the kitchen.
Jonas is standing in front of the stove. He's flipping an omelet with one hand and handing Schrödinger - who definitely should not be on the counter - a bit of turkey bacon with the other. "That's your last piece," Jonas says, booping her cat on the nose. "Don't tell your mom."
"Too late," Sam interrupts.
Jonas whirls around. "O-Oh, hey," he splutters. "I didn't know you were up."
Sam chuckles and comes up to stand beside him. "Did he manipulate you again?"
Jonas blushes. "It was just a few pieces of bacon."
Sam rolls her eyes and turns to Schrödinger. "Naughty kitty," she scolds, scooping him up into her arms. "I told you no people treats."
"Woaww," Schrödinger protests.
"No, you can't stay up on the counter," Sam continues. "Uncle Jonas is cooking."
Schrödinger wriggles in her grasp, trying to reach for the omelet. After a moment he accepts defeat and slumps against her shoulder. She shakes her head and scratches the back of his neck. "Silly baby," she coos. "You have enough food already."
"In my defense," Jonas cuts in, "I did give him his actual food before this."
Sam smiles softly. "Thank you," she says. "You didn't have to do that." She scans the counter, taking note of the meal Jonas has prepared. "You didn't have to cook breakfast either."
He shrugs. "It's okay," he insists, smiling back at her. "You let me stay over, so it was the least I could do."
The sudden urge to kiss him is so overwhelming that Sam has to force herself to take a step back. "Thank you," she says again, her voice hoarse. "For everything."
Jonas meets her gaze, wordless understanding passing between them. "Don't mention it," he murmurs. "I'm glad you were able to get some sleep."
"Did you sleep okay?"
He blushes again and looks away. "Yeah," he replies. "I was fine."
She lets out a breath. "Good. I'm glad."
Jonas flips the omelet one more time before transferring it to a plate. "You want to sit down?" he asks, glancing at the kitchen table. "I'll bring everything over."
Sam sets Schrödinger down on the floor. "I can help."
She can tell he wants to protest, but he simply nods in agreement. "Okay," he says.
Sam helps him set the table, laying down a plate of omelets, another filled with bacon, yet another stacked with Eggo waffles, and a bowl of fruit salad. Jonas brings over clean plates, napkins, silverware, and two glasses filled with orange juice. Schrödinger slinks around their ankles as they take their seats, and eventually decides to hop up onto Jonas' lap.
"Schrödie," Sam warns, "get down from there."
"Meeaw," Schrödinger whines.
Jonas laughs and picks him up, placing him back onto the floor. "Sam's right, buddy. You can't steal from my plate."
"Mrrow," Schrödinger trills sadly. He settles himself at Jonas' feet, hoping to catch any scraps that might fall from the table.
"And you think you're not his favorite," Sam chuckles.
Jonas just laughs again.
They spend the next few minutes focusing on their meal. At one point, Jonas gets up to fetch some butter and maple syrup for the waffles. He pulls the items out of the refrigerator, then pauses as he catches sight of something by the kitchen window.
"You kept it," he murmurs.
Sam frowns. "Kept what?"
Jonas nods at the window. "The seashell I gave you. In Florida."
Sam looks up from her plate, and sure enough, the shell in question is resting there on the windowsill. Her cheeks flush. She forgot she put it there after returning home.
"It's pretty," she mumbles. "I didn't want to get rid of it."
Her eyes meet his, and yet again she feels that invisible thread take shape between them, linking them together.
It's Schrödinger who breaks the spell. He winds around Sam's ankles in a silent plea for more treats. She glances down and shakes her head. "No, Schrödie," she says, her voice thick in her throat. "No more food until lunch."
After breakfast, they spend time out on Sam's deck, playing a game of checkers. Jonas can tell she wants him to stay over again. But she's too hesitant to ask, so he decides to make it easy on her.
"We can stop by my place later," he says after he takes a turn. "Y'know, so I can grab some clothes and stuff."
Sam looks up, surprise and gratitude both etched on her face. "Okay," she replies softly. "We can swing by after lunch."
They decide to grab lunch at the nearby diner, then drop by his apartment so he can pack a duffel bag. "Might as well pack for the rest of the weekend," he quips. "Since you don't want to let me out of your sight."
Sam blushes. "You don't have to," she mumbles.
He grins, trying to break the tension. "It's okay. Really. Sleepovers aren't really a thing on Kelowna so you're actually helping me cross that off my bucket list."
Sam laughs, relaxing a bit. "Okay," she says. "Good to know."
They spend the rest of the day lounging around Sam's house, watching TV and challenging each other to an impromptu MarioKart contest. When nighttime rolls around, they go through the same routine as the night before, getting ready for bed until they find themselves standing awkwardly in the living room again.
"So, um, goodnight," Sam says, wringing her hands in front of her.
Jonas rubs the back of his head. "Goodnight," he says back. He pauses a moment, then looks her in the eye. "Do you…need me to stay again?"
Sam's cheeks flush, but she doesn't move away. "I'll be okay," she murmurs.
"Are you sure?"
She takes a deep breath, holding his gaze. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything."
Jonas takes a step forward. "I'm not."
Sam wraps her arms around herself. "Would it help you sleep?"
He shrugs. "I slept pretty well last night. I mean, after…" He trails off, feeling heat crawl up his neck.
Sam takes another breath. "You can stay," she whispers. "If you really want to."
He spends the rest of the night in her arms.
Sunday turns out to be a repeat of Saturday, with breakfast in the morning and a lazy day around the house. When evening finally comes, they climb back into Sam's bed, this time without either of them asking. Sam knows how much of a risk this is - one wrong move and that precarious peace between them could be shattered, possibly for good. But she can't deny that Jonas' presence puts her at ease, and she's almost certain he feels the same way about her.
She rests her head on his shoulder and wraps her arms around his torso. "Did you pack your uniform?" she asks.
Jonas returns the gesture, pulling her against him. "Yeah," he says quietly. "We can head straight to the SGC tomorrow morning."
"Okay," she whispers into the dark.
His fingers rub circles into the small of her back. She holds back a sigh, not wanting to give in too much to his touch. The effort is agonizing, though, especially when she feels his lips brush against her hairline.
"Did you have another bad dream?" Jonas asks. "Last night, I mean."
Sam shakes her head. "No. I slept okay." She glances up at him. "How about you?"
He inhales sharply before answering. "I saw it again," he murmurs. "The vision."
Sam props herself up on her elbow. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Jonas sighs. "I didn't want you to worry any more than you already have been."
Sam lifts her free hand and threads her fingers through his hair. "Jonas," she says softly, "every now and then you have to let people help you."
He sighs again and meets her gaze. "I know," he whispers. "I'm just not very good at it."
She trails her fingers down the side of his face. "Try practicing then."
Jonas laughs. "How? It's not a sport."
She moves her hand back to his forehead. "Let me try something."
He frowns. "What?"
Sam shifts into a more comfortable position and begins stroking the bridge of his nose with her fingertips. "My mom used to do this to Mark and me when we were little," she explains. "To help us fall asleep."
Jonas' eyes flutter closed. "It feels nice," he murmurs.
She wants so badly to lean forward and kiss the little crease between his eyebrows. Instead, she settles for nestling her head on the pillow next to him. "Relaxed yet?"
He smiles a little. "Yeah."
She strokes his nose a few more times before letting her fingers land on his jaw. "It's going to be okay," she whispers.
He opens his eyes again. "What if it isn't?" he asks, his smile disappearing.
Sam lowers her hand to his neck. "I've been thinking," she says softly. "About the device, I mean."
"What about it?"
Sam's hand drifts down to his chest, feeling the beat of his heart against her palm. ""Well, I was thinking," she begins, "then maybe once we plug a new crystal into the device, you could use it to jump forward to the exact moment when I get hurt. Then you could prevent it."
Jonas mulls this over. "There's no guarantee that would work."
"True," Sam agrees. "But everything we know about the device so far is theoretical anyway. If Dr. Augustine was right and it does operate via the user's memory, then it's possible you could use it to jump to the future in addition to the past."
Jonas makes a face. "But my visions aren't memories," he argues. "Jumping back to a past moment in your memory is one thing, but jumping to a moment in the future is totally different."
Sam toys with the hem of his shirt collar. "What if it's not, though?" she says softly. "I mean, Dr. Augustine theorized that the device needs to establish a neural link with the user in order to work. What if it doesn't matter whether it links with memories of the past or visions of the future? What if all it needs to connect with is the image of an event in your mind, regardless of when it takes place?"
Jonas meets her eyes. "I guess that's possible."
Sam runs her hand across his chest, smoothing his shirt beneath her palm. "I hope so," she whispers. "Right now it's the only option we've got."
His expression softens. "I thought you said it wasn't my responsibility to change the future."
She sighs. "It's not. I just thought the idea might make you feel better."
Jonas lays his hand atop her own. "I trust you," he murmurs, curling his fingers around hers. "If you think it's worth a shot, then I'm willing to try it."
Sam offers him a tiny smile. "It's going to be okay," she repeats. "Everything'll work out fine."
He squeezes her hand. "I should be telling you that."
Sam lays her head on his shoulder again. "We take a risk every time we walk through the 'gate," she says. "I'm used to it."
Jonas sighs, burying his nose in her hair. "I don't know if I ever will be."
Sam falls silent, not knowing what else to say. The urge to kiss him resurfaces, if only to offer some modicum of comfort.
She decides instead to snuggle closer. "We'll be all right," she whispers into his neck.
"You really think so?" he asks.
Sam flattens her hand atop his chest again, soaking up the steady thrum of his pulse. "Yes," she murmurs, her lips brushing his skin. "As long as we look out for each other, we'll be all right."
A/N: The title of this chapter is taken from the lyrics of "Another Place" by Bastille. When I was trying to choose a title I was struck by how well the entire song fit the story as a whole, but especially how well it fit this current cluster of chapters. The orchestral version is particularly beautiful (although it's a tearjerker) and I'd highly suggest checking it out. I was between this lyric and another one, but I ended up going with the former because I thought it was an appropriate reference to the "invisible thread" Sam feels is tying her and Jonas together.
I initially wasn't sure how I was going to start this chapter, but in the end I wanted to parallel Sam's nightmare in the last chapter with Jonas' dream of his ex. Although, yes, I KNOW he really needs a break from all the stress. At least he's getting lots of cuddles ❤️
Because of his love for food, I adore the idea of Jonas becoming a great cook while living on Earth. I feel like Sam rarely has time to cook full meals for herself, so I thought it would be sweet if he stepped in and prepared food for her.
And yes! That was a plot tease at the end of the chapter 😆 We'll get more into it later.
