Chapter 12

With Eugene's arrival, Millie found herself a new companion to spend the long days of her recovery with. Eugene was quite a few months older then she was, he was sixteen while she had only just passed her fifteenth birthday a month ago. Eugene was different from both Nick and Heath, reminding her more of Jarrod from the little time she had spent with him. While Eugene spent a good share of his time with his older brother, he also tried to spend time with her to ease her boredom as the days slowly passed by and she looked forward eagerly to his visits. Eugene opened a new world to her, speaking about living in the city, college and what he was learning and being taught there and Millie was a willing audience, soaking up the stories that he told her.

A few days after Eugene had arrived home, after one of another of their conversations about college, Millie brought up something during their game of checkers that had been on her mind ever since coming to the Barkley's as Eugene contemplated his next move. "I wish I could learn to read and write." She exclaimed out of the blue. "Those stories you and Nick and Heath and Audra read from those books are so exciting, I wish I could read them myself."

Eugene looked up at her, taken by surprise. "What? You can't read and write?"

She nodded. "I can't read and the most writing I've ever done is an X to mark my name."

"But surely you've been to school?"

"No. There was a school a few miles from where I grew up but I was never allowed to attend."

Never allowed to attend school? "Why didn't your folks want you to attend school?"

Millie shrugged, not wanting to elaborate on the story. "I just wasn't." She motioned to the board. "Still your turn."

Turning his attention back to the game in front of him, Eugene thought for a moment then moved a piece forward. "Your go."

"That one there," Millie pointed to one of her pieces. "one over."

After moving her piece, Eugene looked at the board closely.

"Do you think I could learn to read and write?" She questioned hesitantly. "I mean, I was always told girls couldn't read but Audra and your mother can so maybe I could too?"

"Of course you can learn to read, everyone can if they try hard enough."

"Could you… Could you teach me to read?"

"I don't know, I guess I could give it a try. I'll see if I can find my old school books, we can start there. How does tomorrow sound? That'll give me enough time to actually find them. They'll probably be up in the attic someplace." He moved another piece. "Your turn."

"Sure, that'll be great." She replied then smiled a little as she saw she'd be able to jump two of Eugene's pieces. "Move that piece there please to there."

Seeing what she'd done, he chuckled and moved her piece as requested, two of his own being taken from the board. "Well, if you can beat me at checkers, I think you can learn to read." He took a look at his watch, realizing what the time was. "I'm sorry Millie, I've got to go." He stood, picking up his coat from where he'd left it at the foot of her bed. "Doctor Merar offered to take me on his rounds today and I'm going to be late."

"Thank you for the game."

"My pleasure. See you tonight."

With that Eugene hurried out and Millie let out a long sigh as she sunk deeper into her pillows. Victoria and Audra had gone into town earlier that morning to take care of shopping for Thanksgiving and Nick and Heath were both out taking care of things on the ranch. Staring up at the ceiling she thought for a moment, biting her lip. She had two choices for company, Jarrod or Silas who she'd seen a handful of times.

Jarrod could probably do with some company. She decided after thinking it over. I'll go see if he wants company.

Slipping out from under her covers Millie protectively held her hands against her chest as she headed to the door. She was stronger now then when she had made her little excursion downstairs and was able to move around on her own though still was technically supposed to be resting. Luckily Eugene had left her door ajar and she nudged it open with her foot, slipping out into the hallway.

Jarrod's door was also open a little and she hesitated for a moment. "Mister Jarrod? It's Millie. May I come in?"

"Of course honey, door's open."

Nudging the door open with her foot she walked in. "Good morning." She said softly as she walked over to the bed, Jarrod closing the book he was reading. "I hope I'm not interrupting, I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Not at all." Placing the book down he motioned to the chair beside him. "I could do with a break from reading."

Millie made her way around the end of his bed and took a seat. "You're looking better than the last time I saw you."

"Feeling a lot better too, believe me. What about you?" He couldn't help noticing the thick wrappings on her hands. "How are you managing?"

"I'm doing alright, thank you for asking. Your family has been taking good care of me."

Jarrod smiled a little at that. "I'm glad to hear that young lady. I also hear that you accepted my offer of working for us on the ranch. Mother was telling me last week that you two spoke."

She nodded. "I did. Honestly though, I haven't really got a choice in the matter." She paused for a moment, glancing out the window nearby at the lazy snowflakes falling from the sky. "I wouldn't survive the winter the way I've been living these past months and I'm not about to undertake alternative employment given the opportunity you've offered to me. And besides," she sighed heavily, lowering her voice as she turned back to Jarrod. "being here with your family these past couple of weeks, it's the first time in a long time that I've felt safe."

"I'm glad to hear you feel that way." He paused for a moment. "And you know, we are happy for you to stay as long as needed but are you sure there's no one who's worried about you? Surely you must have a home someplace."

"The only folks who cared about me are both long dead Jarrod." Millie replied flatly. "My parents died years ago. Where I came from, that wasn't home and I'm never going back. Not you, not anyone, is going to send me back. I would rather die first-" There was a fierceness in her eyes as she spoke, a testament to the anger and hurt that burned deep inside her soul from her past. "and I mean that Jarrod. I would sooner put a bullet through my own skull before I let anyone take me back there."

Silence fell after she finished speaking, Millie turning to look out the window so that Jarrod wouldn't see her tears.

I would sooner put a bullet through my own skull before I let anyone take me back there. Millie's words echoed in Jarrod's mind as he looked at the girl, her shoulders shaking a little as he heard a sob escape her. What have you gone through? He wondered, hesitating for a moment before he placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry Millie. I truly am."

She nodded, wiping her cheeks dry on the back of her bandages. She usually didn't allow herself to be emotional but the night hadn't been easy on her; she'd had that nightmare again and everything was overwhelming her. Forcing down the lump in her throat she turned back to Jarrod. "Please, for my sake, please stop trying to get me to speak about my past. Please respect that I don't wish to speak of it. Your family has kept trying to get me to speak and I understand and appreciate that they only want to help but the only thing anyone can do is just leave me be. I know that my being a minor poses a problem and you are at a loss to know what to do with me but I will never speak of my past. I can't go back there." She paused for a moment, biting her lip before she continued. "Once spring arrives, I will work to earn enough money to get by, then I will move on. I won't burden you all by my presence any longer than necessary."

"Millie-"

"No Jarrod." Millie stood, making a bee-line for the door. "Just leave it be."

The day dragged by slowly, Millie trying her best to amuse herself with a drawing she knew she shouldn't be working on but with nothing else to do and no one else to talk to, she had to do something to get her mind off her thoughts. Jarrod's prodding earlier, combined with her nightmares the night before had left her mind in turmoil. Why couldn't they just accept she didn't want to speak about her past and be done with it? Why couldn't they just leave her be? Why did they have to keep seemingly endlessly sticking their noses in her business?

The pencil tip broke as she was trying to draw the finishing features of the horse she was drawing, which was the final straw to break the camel's back. Tossing the paper, pencil and book she had been drawing on she finally broke down in the desolate living room, tears of frustration, pain and anguish rolling down her cheeks as she cried. Even here, miles away from Cade and his torture she still couldn't escape. She couldn't run far enough to outrun the memories that tormented her day and night.

"Mizz Millie?"

The soft voice of Silas interrupted her and she looked over to see the Barkley's servant standing in the foyer.

"Is somethin wrong, Mizz Millie?"

Millie shook her head as she averted her gaze from him. "No… N-no. I-I'm fine. Thank you."

After a moment, Silas walked in and sat down beside her on the couch. "A trouble shared is easier to bear." He said softly. "I won't speak to anyone of what you say. Here-" He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and gently wiped her cheeks dry. "you be okay, Mizz Millie. Whatever's troublin you, I mightn't be able to fix but sometimes, it helps to speak to a friend."

Choking back her sobs, Millie slowly got her emotions back under control. Perhaps it would help to speak of what was on her mind and Silas, given that he was a servant, seemed like a safe enough person to confide in. "You were a slave, weren't you?" She questioned softly after she had regained her composure. "Before coming to the Barkley's, I mean."

Silas nodded. "I was born a slave. It was Mizter Barkley who bought me freedom."

"Then you know what it's like to be beaten, whipped, treated worse than an animal."

"I do.' He nodded. 'Is… Is that what happened to you?"

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she looked up at him. "I have the scars to prove it."

"You were a slave, Mizz Millie?"

"In a manner of speaking." She bit her lip again. "My father died when I was little, my mother fell ill and couldn't look after me and I was given away by her brother to another family that couldn't have children. They were good to me, taught me everything I know. Then Hosea was killed in a riding accident, the bank took the ranch and we had to go live with Ruth's brother." Millie paused again. "He was a deaden-out drunk. He killed Ruth. Beat her to death. Near beat me to death too more times then I care to remember. I ran away. Been runnin ever since. Been runnin as far as a body can but it seems you can't outrun memories."

"And you worry you might get sent back there."

Millie nodded. "The Barkley's keep trying to get me to speak of my past, they just won't leave me alone. I know they mean well, that they only want to help but I can't go back. I can't go back to that life." Tears were pooling in her eyes again. "If I tell them of my past, they'll have to send me back. He owns me. He adopted me and that means they would have to give me back to him if they know. I can't tell them. If I go back, he will kill me. I can't go back."

"The Barkley's wouldn't send you back. They good people the Barkley's."

"It's not up to them. It's the law Silas. They don't have any say in it. I'm a minor and he's my custodian until I turn eighteen.' She looked away from him back down at her hands. "Please, you can't tell anyone what I've said. There's nothing anyone can do. I just have to keep running till I'm eighteen. Please, don't tell the Barkley's."

"You have my word, Mizz Millie." He placed his hand on her knee. "I understand."

Millie smiled a little through her tears. "Thank you."

"If you need someone to talk to, you come find me."

She nodded.

"I need to get back to the kitchen. You alright now? Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine. Thank you for listening to me."

"Anytime, Mizz Millie. You a fine, young lady. You be alright."

Squeezing her knee, Silas rose and left Millie alone again in the spacious living room. As the servant's footsteps faded, she let out a heavy sigh. Silas understood her in a way no one else could; though perhaps Heath might be able to relate to her better than the rest of his family given the bits and pieces of his past she had heard about. For the rest of them however, they couldn't begin to comprehend what she had lived through. By not telling them, she reasoned with herself that she was protecting them. They didn't need to know. She didn't need their pity.

Picking up the pencil she had thrown on the floor in her frustration, she sighed again. She couldn't sharpen it herself and Silas was already back in the kitchen. Jarrod could sharpen it. She thought then after a moment, also picked up her discarded drawing and started up the stairs.

Jarrod's door was still left open after her hasty exit earlier and as she stopped in front of it, he looked up from his book. "Millie."

"I wanted to apologize for earlier." She started timidly. "May I come in?"

He nodded as he closed the book and placed it aside.

"I'm sorry for my outburst this morning." Walking around to the other side, Millie sat down in the chair next to the bed. "I shouldn't have run out on you like I did. I just… I'm sorry."

"I accept your apology though I'm partially to blame Millie. I have been aware that my family has been trying to get answers from you and I'm sorry for bringing it up today. I will speak to them and ask for them to stop trying to get you to talk about your past."

"Thank you Jarrod. I would appreciate that. I know you all mean well but…" Her voice trailed off again and she shook her head. "Did you all pester Heath the same way when he arrived?"

"Well I-" Jarrod thought about her question for a moment. "No. No, I don't think we did. Heath tells us little things from time to time but usually he keeps his cards close to his chest."

"I could tell that. Heath and Nick are complete opposites."

"They are. Nick was so against Heath when he first came here but now the two of them are practically inseparable. It took time, but Heath has become one of the family." Noticing the paper Millie was holding, Jarrod's curiosity was stirred. "What have you got there?"

"Oh-" She handed him the paper. "just a drawing I've been working on. My pencil broke, I was hoping you could sharpen it for me."

"Should you be drawing?"

"No, but I'm bored, Jarrod. You'd understand that, being cooped up in bed this whole time."

"Touché. Over on my desk there should be a pencil sharpener. If you can bring it over, I'll sharpen it for you."

Rising, she went over and found the requested item and brought it back to Jarrod. "Thank you."

"All done, young lady." He handed the pencil back to her. "You can stay here to draw if you like, I could use the company. As long as you don't mind me reading aloud from time to time."

Millie smiled as she carefully took the pencil from him. "I don't mind at all."


"Well, well, well-" Nick exclaimed as he stood in the doorway, looking at the sight in front of him. Jarrod was reading to Millie, the girl curled up next to him on the covers appearing as content as could be. "What have we got here?"

Millie startled a little at Nick's booming voice then giggled softly as she sat up, Nick entering the room. "Jarrod's been reading to me."

"I can see that." He looked at his older brother. Jarrod appeared tired but happy, happier than he'd seen him be for the past few days. "I hope this little mischief maker hasn't been bothering you too much."

"Hey-"

Jarrod smiled. "Not at all, brother Nick. Mother and Audra were in town for most of the day so Millie has been here keeping me company."

"And I haven't been any trouble at all either." Millie added. "Promise."

"Good. Well, I'm here to keep you company now so let's let Jarrod rest a spell. Why don't you head out and I'll meet you downstairs and we'll keep reading The Dog Crusoe?"

"Alright." Carefully she moved off Jarrod's bed and headed for the door. "Don't make me wait long."

"Someone's got you wrapped around their little finger.' Jarrod teased as Nick took up residence in the chair next to him. "She'll have you playing tea-party with her next just like Audra used to."

"That'll be the day." Nick grumbled, remembering well the tea-parties that his little sister made him suffer through on a regular basis growing up. He was about to add to his thoughts when his brother began coughing and he handed him a handkerchief to cough into. "How are you feelin'?" He questioned, his tone softer.

"Tired." Jarrod rested back against the pillows, his strength spent from reading to Millie. "I was ready for a nap hours ago but Millie was having a bad day and I was trying to cheer her up."

"Oh?"

"She mentioned that you all have been quite doggedly interrogating her."

"I wouldn't say we've been interrogatin' her-"

Jarrod looked at his brother and raised an eyebrow.

"Alright. Alright. Perhaps we might have been a little too hard on her. But lay off Jarrod, we're only trying to figure out what to do with her."

"I know. I get that. I've been wondering the same thing but she finally opened up a little to me today. Apparently her parents died years ago and she's run away from a bad situation. That's all she said."

Nick sighed. "Not much to go on, is it?"

"It's more than we've been able to find out so far."

He rested back in the chair. "She mentioned any names?"

"No."

"Well, I for one would like five minutes alone with the son of a ***** she's runnin' from. See how he'd like a taste of his own medicine."

"Now Nick-"

"Jarrod, when you first met her you said she was as feisty as a wildcat and almost about ready to knock you out with a fryin' pan."

"Well, yes but-"

"And she was purely terrified of you, wasn't she?"

"She was."

"And since she's been here, she's warmed instantly to Mother and Audra but Heath and I've had to earn every little shred of trust she's given us. What conclusion does that lead you to arrive at? That somewhere, there's a guy out there who has made that lil one's life a livin' hell."

Jarrod let out a sigh. Nick was right and who was he to judge when he felt the exact same way? "Millie did say something else." He continued after a moment, catching Nick's again. "In her words 'I would sooner put a bullet through my own skull before I let anyone take me back there', she'd rather die first then go back."

"Don't that just prove it to you Jarrod? What kind of man would treat a child so badly they'd wanna kill themself? Why he… He could have done anythin' to her."

"I know."

Nick ran his fingers through his hair then looked back at his brother. "What are we goin' to do Jarrod?"

"There's not much we can do, Nick. If he's her legal guardian, under the law he can pretty much do anything he likes with her."

"So we'd have to send her back? There's nothin' we could do?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry Nick. If her guardian came tomorrow, we would have to give her up. We could try fighting it out in court but…" He sighed. "We've got no claim to her, whoever her guardian is, he could be related to her and the courts would rule in favor of her staying with blood relatives. Unless we could prove without a shadow of a doubt that Millie was being abused and that her life is threatened by remaining in his care, no court would overturn a legal custody or adoption agreement just on our say so."

"So we just hope and pray that whoever this monster is, he doesn't find her."

"I'm afraid so."

Nick angrily made a fist and punched it hard into his opposite palm.

"I'm sorry. That's just how it is."

"Damn the law Jarrod." He growled angrily. "No kid should be treated the way Millie has been."

"I agree and if her guardian did find and come for her, I would fight him with everything I have but you've got to understand the chances of us winning are slim."

"Have we Barkleys ever backed down from a fight?"

"I take it then you're with me on this."

"I'm with you all the way." Nick agreed whole-heartedly. "That girl needs someone to stand up for her."

~~~~~

Millie was staring into the fireplace as she waited for Nick to join her, biting her lip as she thought. Speaking with Silas had brought back memories that she was trying so hard to forget and now that she was alone once more, she couldn't keep her thoughts from taking over her mind any longer.

What she had told both Jarrod and Silas was the truth; there was someone out there who she knew wouldn't stop until he found her. Cade was the lowest kind of skunk there was and the longer it took for him to find her, she knew the harsher her punishment was going to be. If only she could keep running until she was eighteen then she would be free of him. He'd no longer have any hold on her once she came of age. She only had to evade him till then.

Tears came to her eyes again as she re-lived in her mind the night that Cade had murdered his sister. He'd come home from another poker game as usual, though this time still sober enough to have that mean streak controlling him and not the alcohol as was usual. She'd been setting the table for their evening meal when she had accidentally dropped and broken one of the plates, Cade flying into a rage at her carelessness. Ruth had stepped in and she'd fled to her hiding place in the attic. The attic was her only safe place, the place she went when Cade was home.

She'd heard Cade yelling and Ruth's screams, the child covering her ears with her hands to block out the sounds of the monster senselessly beating his younger sister. There was nothing she could do to stop him, she had learnt that quickly since they had come to live with him. Once he got started, nothing stopped him.

After a time, the sounds died down and she had cautiously emerged from her hiding place. Cade was gone and the house was quiet. She'd found Ruth on the floor of the kitchen, lying in a pool of her own blood. She was unconscious, knocked out from hitting her head on the side of the table when she'd fallen. Her face had been nothing but a bloody, bruised mess -

"Well now-" Nick started as he sauntered into the living room. "What chapter are we up to?" Millie didn't reply, her eyes staring blankly at the dancing flames. He knelt down beside her and placed a hand on her knee. "Millie?"

Startled out of her thoughts, Millie took a deep breath. "Sorry. I didn't hear you."

He chuckled. "Looked like you were a million miles away."

"Just thinking." She sighed heavily then noticed the book in his hand. "I don't want to read right now. Could you take me out to see Tomahawk?"

"Absolutely not. Doc says you're to stay restin. You should be happy we're allowin you out of bed at all."

"Nick, please. I've been cooped up in here for days now. Please, just take me out to see my horse."

"Millie-"

"Please?"

Nick looked at her for a long moment then sighed heavily. Just like Audra, Millie had him around her little finger. One look from those amber brown eyes of hers and he'd do anything for her. Darn girls. He thought. Thank God I only have one sister. "Fine. Fine. Alright. But on two conditions. One, we get you bundled up warmly. It's cold out there. Two, you're gonna let me carry you. It's a fair distance to the barn and you shouldn't overdo it."

Millie grinned. "Deal."

Looking at the smile on her face, the first real smile he'd seen her give, his heart was warmed. "I'll go grab my other coat, it's the only thing with sleeves big enough for you to get those bandages through."

"Make it quick, Tomahawk misses me."

"Yeah, yeah…"

"Someone's got you at her beck and call." Heath said with amusement, having heard their interaction as he'd entered the house. "If I didn't know better I'd say big brother has a soft spot for our little stray."

"Like you don't." Nick shot back as he headed upstairs. "Yeah, I heard you talking with her last night."

"What can I say? Kids like me." Heath followed his brother to his bedroom, leaning against the door frame as Nick went to his closet. "But on a serious note Nick, what are we going to do with her?"

"I don't know. I spoke with Doctor Merar when he came by earlier this morning, so far his inquiries haven't returned anythin'. Millie told Jarrod today both her parents are dead. Jarrod's asked us not to keep pushin' her, he wants us to stop tryin to get her to talk. Seems she got quite upset this morning."

"She's runnin' from somethin' Nick."

"I know." Finding the coat he'd had in mind he pulled it out and started back to the staircase.

Heath winked at him on his way past him. "I'll leave you to do babysitting duties."

Nick rolled his eyes as he headed downstairs back to the living room where he'd left the girl. "Here, this should be big enough."

"And how exactly am I going to put it on?" Millie questioned, looking at the coat he was holding out to her and held up her bandaged hands. "Hello?"

Sighing heavily, he helped her into the coat and buttoned it up over the dress from Audra she was wearing. Grabbing a couple of blankets from off the back of the couch he wrapped her up in them snugly then picked her up and started to the front door.

Heath was coming down the stairs and jogged ahead, opening the door with an amused expression on his face as he looked at his brother carrying Millie. "Enjoy babysitting."
"Thank you, brother Heath."

Millie giggled at the tone of annoyance in Nick's voice as they headed through the door. "Heath's been teasing you, has he?"

"Perhaps."

"Poor Nicky boy, being teased by his little brother-"

"If you keep it up little one,' Nick interrupted gruffly as he stopped at the bottom of the stairs. 'I'm gonna turn around and take you back inside."

"Alright, alright. My lips are sealed." She relented as he carried her to the barn, her black stallion looking up as they entered. Upon seeing her, Tomahawk whinnied loudly and turned his head to see her as far as his tether would let him. "Hey Tomahawk. You miss me?"

"I'll get him out for you." Placing her down gently on one of the nearby barrels, Nick went into the stall and untied the stallion then brought him out to Millie. "Easy boy." He cautioned as Tomahawk began nudging the girl with his muzzle.

"He's alright. He's just happy to see me, aren't you boy?" Millie's smile reached ear to ear as the stallion sniffed her over, inspecting her closely. When he was satisfied that she didn't have any treats on her, he settled down and began nibbling gently at her hair. She giggled, pushing him away with her elbow. "Tomahawk! Manners boy! My hair isn't food."

Nick laughed softly as he stroked the mustang's neck. "You and ol' Tomahawk here seem like close pals."

"Yeah." Her eyes were filled with pride as she looked at her beloved horse. "Tomahawk and me, we've been through some good times and bad times." Tomahawk sniffed at the white bandages on her hands curiously and she gently petted his muzzle with the back of her hand. "He's saved my hide more than once." She paused for a moment. "He's the one thing that's ever meant something in my life."

Watching the two of them interact, Nick shook his head with amusement. "Millie, I tell you, the first time I tried lookin' after this horse, I'd never met a more cantankerous, stubborn, ornery critter in my life and you've got him eatin' outta your lap."

Millie giggled, stroking down the middle of Tomahawk's head with the back of her hand. "Then you two make the perfect couple."

"Now, you wait just a minute there young lady. Who took you out here to the barn in the first place?"

"I mean that beneath all that bravado, you both are gentle and kind and good at heart." She paused for a moment then looked back up at Nick. "Thank you for bringing me out here."

He smiled. Seeing Millie so happy was more than payment enough for him braving the cold to bring her out here. "You are most welcome, lil one."