Chapter 12
...
Trinity's eyelids flutter, but she doesn't open her eyes.
She's aware of the muffled sounds around her, and of the cold hard surface she's lying on.
"Captain?"
She hears Esc's voice, she just can't reply, too weak to speak or to succeed in opening her eyes. She's aware of the hand which moves on her neck and then under the neckline of her sweater, fixing a jack in the plug below her collarbone, and of the rhythmic 'beep' coming from what's probably a screen monitoring her vitals.
"Trinity?"
Neo's voice.
She can feel the warmth of Neo's hand on hers, and the touch of his thumb which moves up and down, in a slow caress, on the back of her hand. She'd like to be able of turning her hand palm-up, holding Neo's hand back, but she's not sure her muscles can really move. She can't tell if she's awake or still partially unconscious.
"Esc?"
Neo's voice, again. And she can recognize the touch of a different hand on her forearm. It holds her wrist as a drip gets connected to the plug in her forearm.
Esc's voice calls her again, 'Captain' first, then by first name, as darkness fades out, little by little, and Trinity finally succeeds in opening her eyes.
"Here she is"
Esc's green eyes move from the blue of Trinity's eyes to Neo's dark ones, and then back to hers.
"Just a fainting," he says "She'll be ok"
Esc is clearly talking to Neo, and Trinity closes her eyes again, just for an instant. So, this is how a fainting feels like. Actually she feels like crap, like her mind has been wrapped by thick fog avoiding her from forming a coherent thought. Her arms and legs feel so heavy that she needs to focus in order to be able of moving.
Neo's hand is still on hers and she turns her palm up, meeting his. His fingers graze hers just for an instant, then he pulls back, like afraid of not being allowed to such an intimate proximity with her. And it's Trinity's hand the one catching Neo's hand this time, before he can leave, and she holds it in hers, enough for Neo to stop exactly where he is. His eyes looks down at their joined hands…
… You feel this? I'm never letting go…
He'd like to be able to catch the sort of image which comes from a remote corner of his mind… wrapped in a golden light, like a candle light… but he doesn't succeed, and it disappears as quick as it came.
Neo's eyes meet Trinity's eyes as she just looks back at him. Blue eyes in dark eyes. Pretty dark eyes... the same eyes Trinity had looked in after Apoc and Switch's death… a mix of fear and relief...
Neo's features relax a little as she succeeds in whispering a barely audible "Hey".
As an answer Neo gives a comforting squeeze to her hand, but glances at the doctor as he checks the monitor an Trinity's vitals again.
"It's been more than just a fainting," Neo says as Esc turns to look at him.
"Her vitals look good, Neo, no reason to worry, she just needs some rest"
Neo stares back at the doctor, but again doesn't seem convinced by his words.
"I'll give her something to help her to relax"
Neo nods again as a snort comes from Trinity this time. She wets her lips lightly, then swallows.
"Might you two, stop talking like I'm not here?"
It's just something more than a whisper again, but Esc immediately replies with a 'Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am', and Neo looks down at Trinity instead, and at their still joined hands.
Her blue eyes can give them a piercing authoritative glare even if weakness is clear all over her face. She gives Neo a little smirk and he smirks back, caressing her hand once more just with his thumb, almost imperceptibly and just for the two of them to know.
"Uhm… what's in there?" Trinity asks, turning her head and watching Esc as he checks her drip.
"Just a saline and glucose" he simply replies, saving her a lecture on how she should eat more and sleep more, and she mentally thanks him for this "How do you feel now?"
She inhales and exhales slowly.
"Uhm... better, but..." she closes her eyes just for a second and swallows, then re-opening them on him "er, I still feel my belly tight..."
Esc stares at her.
"Just tightening? Or pain?"
"Er, cramps sometimes, but not right now..." she hesitates.
Esc ponders her words.
"Captain, I'd really like it wouldn't be necessary but," Esc looks from Trinity to Neo, and then back to his Captain "I need to check on you"
Esc looks down at Trinity again as she nods, then he looks up to meet Neo's eyes. Is he supposed to tell Neo to leave? Or is he supposed to wait for the Captain to tell Neo to leave?
She doesn't talk, nor Neo means to leave. Their hands still intertwined.
Is there something going on between them? Well, the way they're holding each other's hand is definitely 'something', but... the look in Neo's eyes is more the look of someone still incredulous of being allowed to such a contact with her, than the confident look of someone who knows he's holding the hand of his own offspring's mother...
So, he decides to shut up.
If he's wrong, there's a chance she'll cut his balls later, but he really has to check on her now.
Is he or isn't he a doctor? THE doctor. He's doing anything else than his job here and she definitely can't complain about it.
"Can you lift up your shirt for me, please?"
Blue eyes stare at him. It feels like an eternity to him, but probably it's just a couple of seconds. And she just does like she's been instructed, lifting up her shirt. Docile, submissive, tame, not complaining, nothing... she just lifts up her shirt exposing her belly.
A 'thanks' exits Esc's lips and he bites his tongue. He's not supposed to thank a patient, right?
Trinity stares at him. She still wonders why she has this effect on him. If the moment wasn't right at all, and her head didn't begin spinning like hell again, she would have smirked at Esc's awkward look.
"Uhm... I've been having cramps for a week by now..." she says reestablishing the patient-doctor relationship.
Esc just nods, but his eyebrows furrow. As far as it can be just a symptom of stomach problems, it can indeed be a symptom of something worse. An impending miscarriage even, since she's not far enough for a preterm labor.
"How bad?"
"Er... not too much. Uhm... from 1 to 10, 5"
"That translated for common people, could easily be count as an 8, Captain"
Trinity doesn't reply and just watches the multitude of steel pipes on the ceiling as Esc palpates her abdomen pressing on the bottoms of her uterus halfway between her pelvis and her navel.
Neo looks at Esc's fingers... they seem browner compared to Trinity's very white skin. The scar from the splenectomy due to the accident she told him about is clearly visible as a red line under her ribs and down along her left side. Neo just stare at it, a still fresh red line on her perfect skin.
... ... the wet and warm sensation under the palm... clothes, soaked of blood... the warmth of blood, so in contrast with the cold metal pieces entering the flesh, right under the rib cage...
... ... she's going to die... she can't survive such an injury...
... ... no, no, no, no, no...
That memory comes to Neo's mind like a flash, but it disappears as quickly as it comes.
He just looks down at Trinity's scar again. A forever remind of the accident in which she lost the man she loved... it's gonna heal, probably before than her invisible wounds.
"How far along should you be by now?"
Neo gets reconnected to reality by Esc's voice.
"18 weeks"
Esc opens his lips like to say something and then closes it. She doesn't show an early fifth month baby bump, but it's clearly because of her very toned abdominals. And it explains her cramps probably since the baby is clearly making space to themselves among her organs, pressing on them and triggering her cramps.
"May I?" Esc asks pointing to the ultrasound machine.
Trinity snorts once again.
"Esc, for Christ's sake, just do it! I'm the patient, you're the doctor, forget about my rank here, please. Or I'd better visit the Oracle!" Her voice is weak, but incredibly firm at the same time.
"Yeah, sorry, ma'am"
He apologizes but his lips curls up at the little smirk Trinity gives him.
None of them speak as black and white images appear on the screen. A baby. And it's not just a mass of cells... it's a very little one with a little heart pumping in the chest. Five minuscule fingers for each hand, and five mini fingers for each foot.
The probe presses on her fundus triggering another cramp.
"Ow-" Trinity inhales sharply at the incipient cramp, her belly tenses.
Neo suddenly looks up at Esc, but he doesn't seem bothered.
"I'm not sure if this little soldier got it more from father or mother actually, but, well, surely a very good kicker, according to this last kick at least, right, Captain?"
Trinity inhales sharply, but it's not because of pain this time. She tries not to look at Neo, but it's not enough to contain the wave of emotions which runs through her. She swallows, and puts a trembling hand on her eyes, in an attempt to prevent them from watering. Neo just holds her hand tighter.
"Sorry, this is so not like me. I don't cry." She sighs and inhales deeply regaining her composure, "My stupid hormones are in control now"
She inhales again and gives her medical officer her usual stare... well, sort of.
And Esc gives her a sort of sympathetic look instead. Despite her renowned stoicism he can't even imagine haw hard all of this has to be for her. Even more when her hormones don't come in help.
"I'm fine," she says, like reading Esc's mind, and yet, she's trying to sound convincing both with him and with herself, forcing herself to not let herself go.
It would be easier if Neo wasn't such a caring man. As much as she likes how his thumb never stopped caressing her hand, right now, it gives her a more desperate needing of crying.
Esc nods, but it's clear it's because he doesn't want to push the subject now, and not because he really bought her words.
"Everything's fine. Just cramping due to normal uterine growth and to fetal movements, but, like it or not, your body's telling you to take it easy, so, I'm giving you something to relax, and it's not debatable, Captain" Esc says "You can stay here or rest in your quarters, but leave Ghost in charge, you'll be out of commission till tomorrow at least, maybe more"
Trinity just nods, once again not complaining, sign that she's really depleted or worried this time, or both.
Neo eyes Trinity from time to time as he helps her to her room.
Scooping her in his arms would have been easier, but he already got to know her, and he knows asking for help for walking is hard enough for her.
She's definitely tough and of the many adjectives to describe her, unstoppable is the one which fits her better now. Clearly unsteady on her feet, having a hard time to walk, she never complains about it. The only sign of her weakness is the way how, from time to time, she has to lean with her weight against Neo's side in order not to collapse again.
"I'm sorry about this, "
She whispers as he ignores her words, holding her tighter as he opens the door for her.
"You did this for me and I was definitely in a more awkward position than you are now"
He smirks and it triggers a very weak smirk on her face in turn.
He looks at her as she takes off her sweater, and for the first time he realizes that the form-fitting underwear she has on highlights the roundness of her lower belly. It's just a little roundness, not clearly a baby bump yet, but it's clearly there, more evident because of her slender body.
She doesn't talk and just sits down on the bed, taking off her boots, then lying down.
"I suppose Esc gave me something strong, because I can barely stand now"
"It was the purpose, the only way to stop you seemingly"
Trinity looks at him as he stands on the door, giving her one of his fascinating smirks, ready to leave her to her drug-induced sleep. Is he conscious of being so damn sexy? She used to make joke of him for not having understood yet that he's the one having her at his feet, not the opposite.
"What if I ask you to stay?" Trinity's voice is hesitant and Neo gives her a hesitant look in turn, like he's not sure what he's supposed to answer to her words.
"I promise not to use my rank to take advantage of you" she adds with a little smirk, clearly joking despite her very tired features.
And she gains a chuckle from Neo this time.
"Too bad, I hoped you would have instead, Captain"
Her smile grows a little larger and she bites on her lower lip to prevent it from growing even more and she closes her eyes, then opening them again a second later.
It's clear she's having difficulty in keeping her eyes open but she doesn't want to give up to the drug running in her veins.
"I just... I don't feel like staying alone tonight…" She succeeds in whispering and for the first time since they met on the Genesis Neo can see her usual armor cracking.
... ... "Neo, I want to tell you something… but I'm afraid of what it could mean if I do..."
... ... They're staring at each other, in front of a telephone box, on an underground platform...
... ... "Everything the Oracle told me has come true... everything but this…"
Neo hesitates again at the flash which appears in his mind... not clear enough to be caught completely though…
"I'm sorry..." Trinity looks down "I'm not clear of mind enough, you don't have to feel compelled to-"
Neo smirks again, bending down to take off his boots before she can finish that sentence, practically shutting her up with a look.
"Just make room for me" He whispers.
She does it, turning on her right side and looking at him as he takes off his sweater, keeping up his t-shirt and pants.
The bare feeling of his weight at her side on the mattress is almost enough to push her hormones and make her eyes watering (again)... and she inhales deeply in an attempt not to break down. Neo settles himself better in the bed, near her, his chest against her back as his hand moves on her side, stopping there.
… Geez!
Trinity remembers Neo's hand in that exact spot, over her wound... and she has to focus on keep breathing.
... and she remembers the feeling of his breath against her nape... it's...too much...
She turns in the bed lying on her back so she can look in his eyes. He doesn't move his hand so, as she turns, it slides from her side to her stomach. He props up on his elbow to look better at her.
"Neo... what you told me before, in the mess hall..."
"That I love you?" He simply says " I still do"
Her blue eyes fights tiredness again but she succeeds in holding his gaze.
"There's so much I need to tell you..."
"You'll do... but not now... now you just need to sleep"
She doesn't seem pleased by his words and her hand finds his cheek, his touch so light that it's clear she won't succeed in staying conscious long.
Her hand moves over his ear and behind it, finding his nape and pulling him closer, his lips an inch from hers.
He can feel her breath and she his.
And their lips graze each other in a light kiss.
She exhales on his lips and has to give up to a drug induced unconsciousness... and another flash comes to Neo's mind.
... ... kiss me... Once more... kiss me...
