Chapter Twenty-Five
Emma slept exceptionally well that night despite the weight of everything, it was almost comparable to the night before.
That was before Neal's re-entry into her life when she had been certain that her family was coming together. Henry no longer appeared to have any reservations around Regina and their breakfast before it was interrupted had hopefully heralded what was to come for the Swan-Mills family.
Unfortunately, said Swan-Mills family would now also have to figure out how Cassidy would fit into the equation.
While kissing Regina, she had not thought about any of this.
No matter how badly she wanted it, they didn't go beyond that, they eventually had to part and eat their light dinner before retiring to bed together.
It could have easily turned into more when they got there but there were a couple of things holding her back from indulging in her gorgeous True Love.
The first thing was that Emma was very aware of how different she looked now and then there was how much more of it would mean than the last time they did it.
As sleep turned into wakefulness, the first thing Emma felt was regret that she was not anything more official with the dozing woman held close against her body.
She didn't feel as much reservation as she may have before in raising her fingers to light stroke Regina's soft cheek.
The woman scrunched her eyebrows adorably but it succeeded in pulling her out of her sleep.
Stretching against the saviour, Regina slowly opened her eyes until they looked fully into Emma's and she yawned widely, "Good morning, Emma."
Rather than giving her usual response of verbally returning the sentiment, she pushed forward to connect their lips, mostly because she felt like she could now.
Regina confirmed that she indeed had this unspoken permission by returning with equal and amazing pressure.
Emma's hand slipped down to her neck as they continued their prolonged good morning kiss.
She wanted to place herself over the other woman and deepen the embrace but she was promptly assaulted with the insecurities from the previous night.
This, unfortunately, had her pulling back from going where they had only gone once before.
Regina, naturally, had no objection, but did sit up to indicate her acceptance that this wouldn't go any further, at least for now.
Emma mirrored her position and smiled shyly at her bedmate, but it soon fell into a frown and she sighed, "Do we have to talk about what this means?"
"Do you want to?" Regina replied without too much thought.
Shaking her head, already feeling a burst of gratitude since she could sense that she would be understanding or whatever her answer was.
She admittedly would have not believed that she could feel anything beyond intense attraction towards the pathologically protective mayor, but she also never experienced a person so willing to risk everything and to change for a chance that they could be…whatever they would end up being.
With the number of kisses they had shared at this point, Emma was beginning to suspect what that 'whatever' would be but for now she admitted, "I don't know if I have the answer yet."
"Then I will wait until you do," Regina assured.
Already in the process of pushing hair behind the former queen's ear before she finished the sentence, Emma ventured, "Can we keep kissing until then?"
Grinning, Regina answered in the most effective way possible, melding their lips again and Emma hummed into it, but ultimately dragged herself back with the most reluctance yet.
She could pretend that Regina's reassurances took the pressure off what it would all mean, but the ever growing bumped begged a differ.
Regina didn't protest though as she also moved back, still smiling, before she became unfortunately serious, "As much as I would enjoy to keep indulging in that, there is one thing we cannot put off discussing for much longer."
Emma pinched her brow, genuinely not sure what she meant for a few oblivious moments but she deflated as it hit her, "Henry?"
"Yes," Regina agreed, "I would very much like for him to not continue living with your parents."
Dragging her teeth over her bottom lip and nodding as she cupped her stomach, praying that everything would uncomplicate itself by the time Tamsin came into their lives.
"Do you think I should have told him the truth when he asked originally?" Emma asked, sighing.
"From my own experience, I would say that the truth is always the best choice with Henry," Regina reasoned, "But it took me a decade to realise that so you can be forgiven. You were only trying to protect him."
Regina confirming her opinion on the matter almost lifted Emma's spirit but not quite when she realised that there was one person's opinion which undeniably mattered the most in this situation.
"Pretty sure he won't see it that way."
"If he can see the Evil Queen as his mother, anything is possible," Regina replied.
"You are his mother, Regina," Emma insisted, somehow insulted by the statement even though she was aware that it was factually true.
This response invited another smile from the older woman and her hands joined Emma's resting on her stomach, a habit for them at this point.
Regina didn't allow this to distract her from the point though, "I believe you should talk to him? Tell him what you told me last night?"
Entwining their fingers, Emma sighed, "It doesn't justify lying though."
"You could still tell him the truth?" Regina encouraged, "Tell him why you felt you had to lie?"
"Is ten old enough to understand shame?" Emma asked, wincing a little.
"You could try and explain it to him?" she suggested.
Emma would have pointed out that was probably easier said than done but this was coming from the woman who had to tell the boy in question that the curse was real after vehemently denying it for so long.
Blowing out a frustrated breath, Emma didn't think twice about dropping her head to her True Love's shoulder, the question that had been on her mind pretty much since arriving in Storybrooke burst out of her mouth, "Does this mom thing get any easier?"
"I will let you know," Regina hummed.
"Well, that's encouraging," Emma half sighed and half chuckled though it was sort of comforting to know that she was not the only one who didn't have everything figured out here.
Regina's hand travelled to the saviour's back, pulling her into her and Emma could have easily fallen back to sleep if Regina hadn't said, "Between the two of us, I am sure we can handle anything that may happen."
The statement forced a snap decision upon Emma, who sat up to say nervously, "I know I said I'm not sure about anything yet, but…"
"There is no rush, Emma," Regina interjected.
"I'm trying to be brave here," she huffed, resisting the urge to cross her arms over her chest out of frustration at her inability to get her words out.
The upturn of Regina's lip in her amusement nearly pushed Emma into an onslaught of tears.
Did she really need to be so hormonal when she was trying so hard to make a real step here?!
This subsided, however, when Regina replied, "Okay, go ahead."
Swallowing hard, Emma spent a few seconds contemplating whether her notion would be more confusing than it would help but she eventually said, "I know that Henry is most important right now but…after…when things with him and Neal have settled…do you think we could go on…like a real date?"
"Like a real date?" Regina repeated.
"I'm trying here, Regina," Emma exhaled hard.
"And I am just trying to clarify," she defended.
"Okay fine," Emma said, shifting to look at her fully as if it would better impart the meaning of what she was asking, "Regina, do you want to go on a date with me when Henry starts getting more comfortable with Neal being around?"
The older woman broke into the most radiant smile yet as she replied, "I would love to, Emma."
Mirroring her expression, Emma breached the distance to indulge in one more drawn-out kiss before facing the day.
This allowed the saviour to not think about the mental script of what she would say to their son to make him understand.
To not think about the fact that there was a chance that he would refuse to talk to her at all.
S
Emma didn't want to go to work but when David suggested bringing Henry to the station after school, she was glad that she did.
It felt a lot like neutral ground to have the discussion that she was sincerely dreading.
Plus she couldn't stay at the mansion with Regina as she truly wanted to, the other woman had work to do as well and Emma would always choose boring crime reports over mucking out horse stalls.
It was for this reason that she spent hours slowly filling in forms despite knowing that no one at town hall would be reading them.
Apparently, there would be an election soon but none of the citizens of Storybrooke showed much interest in running for the position, but Emma didn't really care.
She couldn't see herself accepting anyone else as mayor and it was hardly her biggest concern right now.
With each page she filled in for no one to read, she was hyper-aware that the minutes were ticking towards the end of the school day.
When it got to the time that the bell would be ringing, she abandoned her pen and leaned back in her creaking chair.
Touching her stomach, she huffed.
As always, Tamsin chose the most inconvenient times to begin dancing, though it fortunately was not on her bladder this time.
She didn't want to dash off to the restroom when she was feeling somewhat ready for what she had to do.
The sound of the door opening forced her to sit straight, bracing herself for the incoming conversation but she deflated markedly as the person who had entered the station came into view.
If she was not waiting for her son she would have been very tempted to immediately bolt at the sight of her ex-boyfriend.
As it was, she had to stay put as he noticed her in the office and entered without so much as a knock, inciting a huff from the saviour, who was also wishing that Tamsin would calm down.
Perhaps she could leave while telling David to bring Henry to the stables?
It would appear that both of her children would prefer to be around their other mother anyway. Frankly, it was a sentiment that she agreed with while Neal was looking at her so judgmentally.
"Should you really be sheriffing in your…" he began.
Scowling, Emma pointed to cut him off and warned, "If you say 'condition', I will arrest you, Neal."
"Can't I be worried?" he retorted.
"No, you can't," she replied, "I am none of your business."
"So you're the Evil Queen's business?"
Sighing, Emma scowled more harshly at him, not at all in the mood to get into all of the ways in which Regina had changed since finding out about the pregnancy.
There was an important question that she needed to ask though before even thinking about defending her to him, "What did she do to you?"
"Nothing," he shrugged, "I think she was born about a hundred years or so after I left so…"
"How old are you?" Emma asked, flabbergasted but when he opened his mouth she made a snap decision, "Actually, I don't want to know. How do you even know who she is?"
Sighing, he replied, "I asked around, I wanted to know who adopted our son."
Emma gripped the arm of the chair, resisting the urge to go into all of the reasons Henry was not 'our son'.
This would involve prolonging this unwelcome interaction so she let out her own sigh, "What do you want Neal?"
His voice tinged with annoying indignation, he said, "I asked you a question and it's not like you gave me your number."
"Regina said it's up to Henry," she explained, "I haven't asked him yet."
"Why not?" Neal sounded far too close to demanding.
Clenching her jaw, Emma couldn't keep the venom out of her voice even if she had actually put any effort into that endeavour.
"Neal, you don't have any rights here. You just showed up and blew everything up…"
"Blew what up? The relationship you're not even in?" Emma stared at him, shocked into silence, so he added, "I've been asking around, remember? I get it must be hard hearing that I'm engaged but there's no need to lie."
Waving her hand to effectively stop him, Emma insisted, "It's still none of your business but Regina is my True Love. You don't need to know anything more than that."
"It affects my…" he tried to argue but Emma wouldn't let him.
"Say 'my son' and I will arrest you."
Neal thinned his lips and took a second to centre himself before he said, "Em, I just want to get to know him."
"And then what?" Emma exploded, "Are you going to move to Storybrooke? Is your fiancee going to move here?"
"How am I supposed to know if I can't talk to him?" he retorted.
"I…" Emma began, getting ready to remind him that there was another parent, with more rights, involved here, but she didn't get that far as she was alerted to the arrival of those she was actually anticipating.
The conversation with Neal must have deafened her to the station door opening but there was no mistaking her office door being opened by the deputy, with Henry a step behind.
David froze, instantly scowling at his grandson's father and a strange appreciation bloomed within Emma.
She'd never before had access to a protective father but it was sort of nice, especially now that the ire was not aimed at Regina.
Neal took no notice of the man, looking beyond him to the suddenly timid boy.
"Hi, I…" Neal tried but Emma had already stood up, the wheels screeching as she did to say over him:
"Was just leaving."
"Em, come on, I'm just trying," Neal begged.
"Now Neal," she said firmly, putting on her best sheriff voice.
It was at last enough to get him to take the strong hint and he slipped out, at last displaying some of the appropriate fear under David's stony stare as the man refused to budge and he had to squeeze past him.
David's features softened as soon as Neal was gone and he encouraged Henry further into the office. Emma could tell that he wanted to prod to ask how she was but he held back and focused on the task that Emma had given him.
"I'm going on patrol," he announced as Henry at last entered the office, staring down at his sneakers, "I'll…see you both later."
"Thank you, David," Emma replied, a part of her wanting to ask him to stay as backup, but she knew that wasn't an option.
This was something that she needed to do alone, if it wasn't then she was certain Regina would have been here if she'd asked.
David retreated more gracefully than Neal had and Emma remained crushed by the silence until she finally cleared her throat to cut through Henry's awkward stance.
He reluctantly looked up at her and she indicated the chair opposite which he took as she dropped back into her own seat.
Henry fiddled with the straps of his backpack until he asked, "What do he want?"
"He asked me a question yesterday, he wanted the answer," Emma replied, feeling the need to hide somewhere.
It had been so much easier to talk to him when some part of her still believed that there was a chance that she wouldn't be sticking around.
There were too many ties for her in this small town she had never heard of not too long ago to even consider that she could escape this new version of her life now though.
If she was able to be the saviour then she had to be able to at least talk to her son, right?
These thoughts did not make her feel any more confident.
"What question?" Henry pressed.
"He…wanted to get a chance to meet you officially," Emma admitted, watching his face carefully for his reaction.
Despite her 'superpower', it was impossible to discern the exact emotion he was feeling. Having recently gained parents herself, she could understand not knowing how to feel about all of this.
She was acutely aware that the tightening in her chest was due to how hurtful his retort was, "Why would he ask you that?"
After a calming breath, Emma agreed, "I told him that, but your mom said it's your choice. We thought you would want to hear the whole story before you made a decision."
Henry's lips had thinned but he relaxed at the mention of his adoptive mother, apparently trusting that Regina knew what to do. Maybe it just helped knowing that Emma had talked to her before making any decision?
This imbued Emma with the determination that she needed to keep going, to tell this story for the third time.
This time around, she made a conscious effort to include the points from Neal's perspective that he had told her, thinking that she shouldn't completely bias him against his biological father.
Henry stayed quiet for a while after she was done, processing what he had been told and Emma waited for as long as she could but she had to push eventually, still unable to figure out how he was feeling, "I know it's a lot but I wanted you to understand…"
"Why did you lie to me?" he asked over her follow-up attempt to explain.
Emma bit the inside of her cheek but heard Regina's voice imploring her to be honest with him, so she replied, "I…I guess I didn't want to disappoint you."
Henry, unfortunately, stayed sceptical, obviously not understanding.
Emma didn't want to push, though.
It also didn't help that she couldn't think of any other collection of words to express years' worth of emotion to him. He perhaps had more experience with complicated feelings than most his age, but he wasn't yet at a point where he could comprehend the risks that came with love.
He wouldn't have given her a chance even if she had been able to compose anything sufficient to justify her instinct to lie as he asked, frowning, "It's been ten years since you saw him, right?"
"Right," Emma repeated cautiously.
"So he could have changed?"
Emma swallowed hard so that she didn't instantly say 'no', somewhat aware that she hadn't given him much chance.
Plus, there was the fact that he had only recently discovered that Henry existed.
Who's to say that he wouldn't have acted differently if he had known she was pregnant? Maybe he would have told the puppet that it was more important than the curse?
This was the last thing she would want now that she knew that this would have prevented her from meeting her True Love, but it was certainly what her younger self wanted, all alone in a prison cell.
Keeping her voice as neutral as she could, she shrugged, "I guess?"
Henry nodded slowly, "I'll meet him, but I want Mom to be there."
"Okay…that's…okay," Emma sighed, fully aware that this meant that he only wanted one mother there for now.
Pulling out her phone to tell David to come back, she found herself wishing that this was the first step in finally getting the family that she had recently started craving to have again for the first time since she was a child.
