WORTH WORKING FOR
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
By the time she makes it to Rick's bank across town, the surrounding streets are already blocked off, and the HRT command center is set up. She called in the robbery-in-progress as soon as Castle's phone went dead, so she knows the response was a little faster than if someone had just pressed the alarm. Even so, her stomach has been in knots for the entire half-hour it took her to get here.
Seeing the same negotiator who worked her own recent experience doesn't loosen the knot at all.
"Captain Peterson," she calls out after flashing her badge and going through the barrier.
"This is a closed scene, you need to-" Peterson pauses when he turns around and sees her, and he says something to the officer next to him before stepping closer to Kate. "You're kidding me."
Kate jerks her head in the direction of the bank. "What do we know?"
"Not much, but we know there's no need for a homicide detective," he says, crossing his arms over his chest. "If that changes, I'll let you know."
Kate levels her gaze at him, unwilling to back down. "My boyfriend's in there, Sir, and so is his mother. I'm staying."
Later, she'll realize that she called Rick her boyfriend, acknowledging it publicly for the first time. Dr. Burke would call that a breakthrough, she'll tell herself.
None of that crosses her mind right, now, though, not when the man she loves is in there, status unknown.
Peterson studies her for a long moment, then nods. "Fine. But stay behind the line, and stay out of my way. Let me do my job."
"Sir-"
"Don't argue with me, Detective," he snaps, motioning for a uniform. "Those are my conditions. If you can't comply, I'll have someone drive you home."
Kate glares at him, but Peterson doesn't budge, so she sighs and goes back. She hates it, hates being relegated to behind-the-scenes, all but ordered to stay away from the situation. Captain Peterson is right, though, and if the roles were reversed, she'd do the same thing.
But that doesn't make it any easier, especially as time passes with seemingly no movement.
She loses track of time as she paces, but it isn't long until she has to give her feet and back a break. She retreats to her car, closes her eyes briefly and takes a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm her racing heart.
It doesn't work.
I need a favor, she texts Esposito, knowing he has friends in ESU.
Isn't it your day off?
Rick and his mom are hostages at the New Amsterdam Bank & Trust on Lex. Can you find out what's going on?
On it.
Espo calls just a few minutes later. "All bad news," he says as soon as she answers. "They can't get eyes on the inside. Cameras are disabled, and the walls are too thick to drill through."
"So if they storm the bank?"
"They'll be going in blind."
"Dammit," she mutters. "Peterson won't let me in, so I'm just twiddling my thumbs, trying to stay sane." She sighs and runs a frustrated hand through her hair.
"Isn't that the same guy from when you were a hostage?" Ryan asks in the background.
"Yeah. What are the odds, huh?"
"If it wasn't so serious, it'd be funny."
There's a sound of what she can only assume is Espo smacking the back of Ryan's head, and despite everything, the corner of her mouth lifts.
"Yeah, well, hopefully we'll be able to laugh about it later," she says, locking her gaze back on the command center. "Thanks, Espo. Keep me posted if you hear anything else."
"Of course."
So they're basically limited to negotiating, at least until HRT can come up with an alternate solution that doesn't potentially kill everyone inside.
What a damn nightmare.
Hours seem to pass, although every time she looks at the clock, it's been just minutes.
Her mind races, different scenarios going through her, none of them good. She checks in with Espo a few times, but he doesn't have any updates for her.
Basically, she's helpless.
Helpless and terrified.
She doesn't have the slightest clue what's happening inside the bank, if anyone is still alive. As far as she knows, they could all be dead.
Morning turns to afternoon, and she can't sit anymore. She leans against the hood of the car, but when she sees a paramedic approach the bank door with a gurney, she straightens up, holds her breath as he walks in.
Her stomach drops when he emerges with someone strapped to the gurney, but she relaxes a fraction when she realizes it isn't Rick.
Unfortunately, that means Rick is still inside.
He's inside, and there isn't a damn thing she can do about it.
Something's happening.
The area around the HRT command center has been a shining example of organized chaos. She's sure Peterson is inside the trailer talking to the robbers, trying to, well, negotiate. It's his job; he's trained to do it, and she has to trust that he does it well.
Rick and Martha's lives depend on it.
Mere moments after they pass the man on the gurney to other paramedics, the area dissolves into pure chaos.
Kate can only watch as the paramedic hands something to Peterson, who immediately starts barking orders that she can't quite hear. Judging by his impassioned arm gestures, though, whatever's happening is serious, and she pushes her way through the barricade.
"What's going on?" she asks a nearby officer, flashing her badge when he starts to push her back behind the barricade.
The officer glances at the badge, then her obvious baby bump, and tries to protest Kate being in the action instead of at a safe distance.
"Either you tell me," she snaps, her hands on her hips, "or I go into the command center anyway, and you get bumped down to traffic." She makes a point to look at his name tag. "Don't try me, Burton."
"I'm just following orders, Detective," Officer Burton insists. "They told me to move everyone back. I don't know why."
"Then I'm going to find out." Burton doesn't try to stop her this time, and she pushes through the crowd, towards the command center.
Nobody gives her a second glance as she opens the door to the trailer and gets her first look inside. She spots Peterson towards the back, and she makes her way through the other officers.
Peterson's talking on the phone, and as she gets closer, she can hear him barking instructions to the person on the other end.
"Push back another fifty feet," he says. "We don't know how much they have, or where it is, we can't see a damn thing." He looks up, does a double-take when his eyes land on Kate. "I gotta go," he says into the phone, then tucks it into his vest and turns to her. "Detective, I thought I told you to stay out of my way."
"What do you have?" she asks.
"I don't know what-"
"Don't jerk me around," she snaps, surprising herself - and the captain, if the lift of his brows is any indication. "Whatever information you got from the inside has you expanding the perimeter, and quickly. So, what did you find out?"
Peterson sighs and runs a hand over his bare head. "C4," he admits after a long moment. "There's C4 inside that building."
Her heart sinks.
Fuck.
"Aside from Officer Jackson going in-"
So the paramedic that went inside was actually an officer, she realizes. He must have gone in to get intel.
"-we haven't been able to get eyes in the building. The guy we brought out had a seizure, and other than him, nobody appears to be hurt. We've been working on their demands, but with the C4…" He trails off, and Kate nods.
"It changes things."
"Drastically," he agrees. "We have to breach. It's not ideal, but we can't wait anymore. Every minute spent talking to the guy is a minute less we have to save the hostages," he explains, even though Kate had already come to the same conclusion.
She doesn't have to like it, though.
Without eyes inside, they'll be going in completely blind. This attempt to save lives could end up killing everyone.
She presses a palm to her belly, tries to calm her racing heart.
If they rush the building and it goes wrong…
She won't lose Rick. She can't.
"What can I-"
There's an explosion outside, rocking the trailer, stopping everyone in their tracks.
Rick.
Kate's heart drops to the pit of her stomach, and she meets Peterson's eyes, feels her panic rise when she sees the worry on his face. She starts to rush towards the door, but pauses when she reaches for her gun and finds her hip bare.
Of course this would happen on her day off.
"Stay in here, Detective," Peterson says as he passes her, his gun drawn as he follows the other officers out.
She almost doesn't recognize the frustrated growl that comes from her throat, but it seems to catch the captain's attention, because he rolls his eyes and hands her a vest. "Fine. If you insist on going in unarmed, wait until we clear it."
Anxious to get inside, to get to Rick and Martha, see for herself if they're okay, she tells herself that Peterson is right to order her back. He was right to try and keep her away from the scene entirely, even though she knows she could've been an asset.
Well-trained or not, an off-duty cop with no weapon - not to mention one who's seven months pregnant - had no business being close to a precarious hostage situation, especially once they knew there was C4 inside. There were too many unknown variables.
Hell, there still are, and that's the only reason she listens to Peterson and waits to enter the building.
Once she hears the echoing calls of "clear," though, all bets are off.
She pushes past other officers, ignoring their protests, calling out Rick's name, worry bubbling in her chest until she hears Peterson shout "In here!"
When she finally sees Rick, looking tired and dusty and alive, she almost collapses to the ground with relief.
An officer is kneeling in front of him, and Rick looks up over his head, grins when his eyes meet hers. As soon as the zip ties are cut from his wrists, he stands and rushes towards her.
His name falls from her lips as she reaches for him, and she wraps her arms around him, stands on her toes so she can bury her face in his neck.
"God, Rick, I-" she manages, her voice thick with emotion, tears coating his skin.
"I know," he murmurs, his hand cupping the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair.
He starts to step back, but she just tightens her grip, unwilling to let go.
"I love you."
The words come out without her permission, and she freezes, feels Rick's chest expand with a sharp inhale. She lifts her head from his shoulder and looks around, her cheeks flaming, afraid to look at him and see the sharp sting of rejection.
Rick wraps his arm tighter around her waist, pulling her as close as her belly will allow, and his other hand moves to cup her cheek.
She lets him lift her gaze to his, and she relaxes at what she sees.
Relief.
Joy.
Love.
"I know it's not exactly the ideal place or time," she says quietly, glancing at the chaos of the destroyed portion of the bank they're still standing in. "But, well-"
Rick's mouth is on hers before she can finish, stopping her with a brief kiss. "I love you too," he rasps, dropping his forehead to rest against hers. "Now that we're clear on that, can we get out of here?"
She lets out a watery chuckle and nudges his shoulder. Spotting Martha behind him, a knowing smirk on her face, Kate steps away from Rick and pulls his mother into a hug. "Martha, are you okay?"
Martha presses a soft hand to her cheek. "Just anxious to be done with this ordeal, dear."
By the time they walk through Rick's apartment door hours later, they're both exhausted.
She enjoys the elaborate, life-affirming meal Martha made while they were at the precinct, but between Rick's statement and staying at the precinct until the resolution of Ryan and Esposito's case - in an odd twist of fate, the case they'd caught of an old lady's suspicious death was related to the bank robbery - she's physically and mentally tapped out.
Rick isn't much better, she realizes when he disappears into his room after helping clean up from dinner. Fatigue still lines his face when he emerges a few minutes later in sweats and a t-shirt, but she can't stop her eyes from flicking down his body.
He's smirking when she looks back up, and her cheeks burn.
"Shut up," she murmurs, turning away from him to refill her water glass.
She feels arms encircle her waist from behind, and she leans back against Rick's torso, relaxes into his embrace. She sighs and presses her arms against his, holding him to her as he brushes his lips across her neck.
"You alright?" she asks quietly, tilting her head to touch her cheek to his.
He nods. "Just need a minute," he murmurs. "I thought-" His hold on her tightens, and he sighs deeply. "It was bad enough when you were the hostage, thinking I could lose you. But when I was in the bank, God, the thought of leaving you behind…"
"I know," Kate says, her grip on his arms tightening. She twists her head to brush her lips across his, lets out a quiet moan and turns in his arms when he cups her jaw and deepens the kiss. "I love you," she whispers when they part, the declaration lightening her chest.
She said it at the bank, he said it back, and while she meant it then, it feels more real here. Here, in his apartment, not at an emotionally charged crime scene.
Rick smiles against her lips, his response sending joy through her, and he nudges her nose with his before leaning back to look in her eyes. "I love you too, Kate," he rasps, his thumb tracing her cheekbone.
"I'm sorry about yesterday morning," she blurts, her cheeks going hot at the furrow in Rick's brows.
"What about it?"
She sighs and steps away, tries to gather her thoughts. Even through the stress of the bank robbery, something Dr. Burke said at her appointment this morning has been haunting her.
Maybe it's time to consider taking a chance.
"I've never been good at relationships," she says, leaning back against the counter, gripping the edge, letting the cold granite ground her. "It should come as no surprise that I don't open up to just anyone."
The corner of Rick's mouth quirks.
"Thing is," she continues, ignoring him, "what happened to my mom kinda messed me up. It was like a part of me died in that alley with her. I built this wall around my heart to protect myself, so I wouldn't hurt like that again. But as a result, I keep people at arm's length until they prove that they can be trusted. I keep one foot out the door, if you will, so it's easy to break things off," she explains.
"I know it isn't fair, not for anyone. But if I don't keep those walls up, if I'm not always prepared to walk away, I'm setting myself up for heartbreak. The last time I let someone in, he eventually left me, and to cope, I dove back into my mom's case." Her hand drifts to the scar in the middle of her chest, and she doesn't miss the way his eyes follow the movement and soften when he sees that she's touching her scar. "That was just a few months before I was shot."
She takes a deep breath and lifts her gaze to his. Surprised to see the glimmer of unshed tears in his eyes, she reaches out and takes his hand, brings it to her chest, holds his hand against her scar. "I swore to never put myself in that position again, and if that meant being alone for the rest of my life, then so be it. If that meant running when things started to get serious, then that's what I'd do." She curls her fingers around his and takes a step closer.
"And then you showed up and started chipping away at those walls," she says in little more than a whisper. "And every day, it's harder for me to deny what I want."
Rick's eyes darken. "What is that, Kate?" he rasps. "What do you want?"
"You," she whispers. "We're in this relationship, but I've still been hiding in my work to ignore my feelings. I haven't let myself give in, not completely. But what happened today, the explosion, thinking that I lost you…" She swipes a hand across her wet cheeks. "I want you, Rick. I'm in love with you. No more hiding behind walls or keeping a foot in the door. I'm jumping in with both feet."
Morning comes too quickly.
Neither of them sleep well, so when her alarm goes off at six, she almost turns it off so she can burrow back under the covers. She doesn't, although she does tell Rick to stay in bed when he moves to get up.
Regardless, he's in the kitchen when she emerges a short time later, and she accepts coffee with a grateful smile.
"You have time for breakfast, right?" he asks, his voice still rough from sleep, sending shivers down her spine.
She glances at her watch. "I have protein bars at work." When Rick just levels his gaze at her, she shrugs and moves towards the cabinets, reaches for a bowl. "Fine, I'll grab some cereal."
"Uh-uh." He takes the bowl and puts it back, then motions to the breakfast bar. "Sit. I'll make you an omelet."
She rolls her eyes, but slides onto a stool anyway. "I am capable of feeding myself, you know," she insists, lifting her mug to her lips.
"I know." He glances at her, pauses what he's doing so he can lean across and brush a kiss to her cheek. "I like waiting on you, Kate," he says quietly, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
She offers a small smile and curls her fingers around the back of his neck, brings his mouth to hers for a brief kiss. "'kay," she whispers, settling back on the stool when he goes back to the stove.
"By the way," Rick says as he pours eggs into a pan, "this is for you." He pulls something from the pocket of his robe and sets it in front of her.
Her breath catches in her throat when she sees a key on a keyring. "Is this-"
He plates up her omelet and sets it in front of her, then leans on his elbows. "It doesn't have to mean anything more than what you're comfortable with," he explains. "If anything, take it for convenience, so you can just let yourself in when you come over."
The world shrinks to just her, the key, and the racing of her heart.
She's never reached this point in a relationship. It's always felt too much like a level of commitment that she hasn't let herself reach.
Until now.
But does that mean…
"I'm not asking you to move in, Kate." His hand covers hers, and she manages to tear her attention back to him, finds his concerned gaze on hers. "If you're not comfortable using it, then don't. At the very least," he adds with a smirk, "keep it for emergencies."
She nods and tucks it in her pocket, lifts her shy gaze to his. "Thanks."
His face lights up with a grin, and she can't help but press her mouth to his. "You're welcome," he husks.
