"These are stellar news!" Albus beamed and shoved the bowl with sherbert lemons closer towards them and the edge of his desk.

Hermione shyly took one, Severus watched her with an arched eyebrow.

"Don't get too excited, Albus. It's just the first of three potions." Severus laced his fingers. He couldn't be happy about this success. It took too long. This issue with Hermione had thrown them back several weeks and he suspected it wouldn't be over anytime soon. Although they got along quite well during the last three days he did not dare trust in it. Hermione's mood might be stable right now but he knew himself. Sooner or later he'd lash out because of some minor issue not even related to her and they'd return to yelling and crying. And so far that had not brought them anywhere near eliminating the connection. Albus might have to reconsider his prediction.

"It is a start," Albus brushed his concerns aside. "But you are right, you need more time."

Severus sensed a little wave of panic that wasn't his. He flashed Hermione a sharp glance. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Albus regarded him over the rims of his glasses. "Professor Diggins gets along with your students quite well and since the school year is almost over you can take your time. Nothing is as important as these potions." He reached for the little vial Severus had put on the desk as an opening for their conversation and turned it in his hands. The sunlight flooding into the room from behind him refracted in the soft grey liquid.

"As you wish," Severus replied succinctly. He wouldn't fight over teaching the dunderheads. Professor Diggins indeed seemed to be more or less competent. At least competent enough for the Hogwarts curriculum. And yes, they needed more time. Not only for the potions …

Hermione stayed surprisingly quiet, Severus noticed. Without taking his eyes off Albus he listened to what he sensed from her.

She was tired but he didn't need a look into her mind to see that. The shadows under her eyes spoke volumes. But except for her tiredness, there was nothing. He frowned. No, finishing the first of three potions wasn't that much of an achievement after all the time they'd invested in this project. But even he was … well, at least a bit pleased. It was a start. However, Hermione felt nothing like that although he'd expected a much more intense reaction from her. Happiness or pride or at least a moment of genuine satisfaction. But no. There was nothing.

Albus arched his eyebrows and that tore Severus from his musings. "I beg your pardon?"

"I asked if there was anything else to discuss."

"No," Severus said and ignored Hermione's befuddled gaze. "We will begin our work on the next potion." He rose and Hermione followed suit.

"Good luck!" Albus said.

"Thank you," Hermione replied and pulled the door to Dumbledore's office shut behind them. The moving staircase carried them downwards and shortly after, they stood in the corridor in front of the gargoyle. She didn't look at him and wrapped her arms around herself.

Severus eyed her suspiciously but they had work to do. He pivoted on the spot to return to the dungeons and from the corner of his eye he saw her following him hesitantly.

Now that he'd noticed the absence of her emotions, though, he sensed it clearly: she wasn't well. And even worse, he sensed his urge to help her. To … make it better. Interestingly not only because her mood also clouded his mood. He rolled his eyes.

Severus cleared his throat, staring stolidly ahead, and said: "If you - at any time - consider freeing us from this ghastly mood let me know."

Hermione smiled weakly. "Is that your way of offering me an open ear?"

"Obviously."

"Astounding," she mumbled.

"What?" he growled.

She looked at him and said: "Professor Severus Snape offers me his attention."

He grimaced. "Don't make it a holiday."

"Never." Her smile widened, then it suddenly was completely gone. "I'd like to talk but I'm in a hurry. I have to leave for a few hours. Can we meet tonight?" She tightened her arms even more.

Severus frowned but wasn't able to sense a specific feeling from her. He nodded. "I will be in my office."

She wrinkled her nose. "Can't we meet outside? I haven't left the castle for two weeks, I'm getting a little claustrophobic." She shivered.

And Severus shivered, too. It wasn't a cold shiver, he noticed, it was an emotional one. There were emotions she didn't hide from him with Occlumency but refused to acknowledge herself. He hated it. But he nodded again. "Very well. Eight o'clock at the lake?"

"Yes, I'll manage that. See you tonight." She turned away and hurried along the halls leading to her room.

Severus watched her leave, a frown edged onto his forehead. Apparently, it didn't even need one of his outbursts to set her on edge.


The day went by calmly - too calmly.

While he'd earlier been certain Hermione was suppressing emotions, he was now sure she'd returned to Occlumency. He growled. They had a bloody agreement!

At first, though, he hadn't even noticed it. He'd started working on the concept for the second potion and had been completely emersed in it. The second potion was as complicated as the first one, if not even more so. They had to dismantle the bond between the Dark Lord and his Horcruxes. Not even Severus had ever worked with such a kind of magic and he'd assembled a fair share of dark potions.

The potion had occupied him so much he hadn't noticed anything around him. Neither his growling stomach nor his thirst nor the missing emotions from Hermione. But now … There wasn't enough time to plan another step in their working schedule before their meeting at the lake. So he'd put his papers aside and everything had struck him at once. The hunger, the thirst, the missing emotions.

He huffed.

The last twenty minutes before he had to go Severus tried to read a book but his thoughts kept wandering and he had to reread whole paragraphs. Then he started to sort through the latest delivery of ingredients but when he confused the bitter smartweed with the devil's shoestring and put the dried plants into the wrong box he stopped that as well.

Sullenly he sat down in his armchair and stared at the clock. Its hands moved around the dial agonizingly slowly.

When the second hand finally started its last five rounds until the full hour, Severus leaped up as if he'd got a starting signal. His office door slammed shut behind him.

A lot of students, roaming the halls trying to get back to their dorms before curfew, stared at him wide-eyed. Severus scowled at them and was immensely grateful that he wouldn't have to bother with the exams this year. He'd just have to sort out the topics with Professor Diggins and how exactly he should test them. Severus wouldn't let his students forget he was their teacher.

The summer night's warm air welcomed him when he left the castle. And when he skirted an extension of it on his way to the lake he already saw Hermione. She'd turned her back on him and had once again wrapped her arms around her chest as if she was still shivering. But he started sensing emotions from her again. Soft waves of … something spilled against his mind. He couldn't fully identify them but they didn't feel good. Like a heavy weight in his stomach.

Hermione turned around and looked at him. The closer he got the more intensely he sensed her emotions. Severus frowned. He didn't need to be close to her for that. There had been enough situations in which they'd been on different ends of the castle and it hadn't weakened the connection. No, obviously she opened up more and more the closer he got. And as he'd anticipated, her feelings were stronger after all of the Occlumency. Although he still couldn't tell what she felt. Only that it felt miserable. Very miserable. It actually made him a little queasy.

Severus took a deep breath and stopped with a bit of space left between them, hands latched behind his back, eyebrows pinched.

She looked at him, tired and … worn out. Yes, that was what she looked like. Worn out. "What's bothering me the most with this connection," she said without a greeting, "is that I spread my feelings out in front of you but don't have the foggiest what's going on in your mind." A little crease stood between her eyebrows.

Severus lowered his gaze. "What you'd find there would be little revealing and very dull." He saw her roll her eyes and asked: "Would you like to take a walk?"

She nodded and turned around. Silently they took the path around the lake, the one taking them away from the castle. Their steps crunched on the gravel, the sun disappeared behind the Astronomy Tower and they were bathed in shadow. "You did not stand to our agreement," he said after a while.

"I know."

"Would you mind explaining why?"

She lifted her gaze from the path and looked across the lake to the Forbidden Forest. "I was at a funeral today." She said it as if she'd told him about her lunch.

Severus cast her a brief glance. The emotion hitting him now made his body pulse with adrenalin. She was obviously uncomfortable telling him about it. But she did. And she was obviously afraid of his reaction. But she presented herself to him nevertheless. With an amount of fear that made his heart race.

For a moment Severus was so troubled by it that he ran his hand over his mouth just to stall for some time. What did she think he would do if she told him about it? What kind of a person did she think he was?

And then he thought about how he'd treated her after she'd saved his life. That kind of person she thought he was. He swallowed thickly and when Hermione started talking again he tried to focus on her words.

"My grandpa died a few days ago. He was old. My grandma already died several years ago. I think he was lonely." Still this clinical tone.

But grief rocked his mind like a giant wave even as she spoke. Severus grimaced. "Hermione, you -"

"Yes," she interrupted him and he saw her briefly close her eyes. The grief disappeared suddenly. "I know. You sense how I'm feeling and that's … unsettling. I constantly wonder if you misrender what I'm feeling or if ..." She swallowed. "Or if you know that I in fact don't mourn my grandpa since I've rarely seen him and he died like he'd wished to. But that I'm feeling … paralysed because my mum loved her father and I didn't know how to help her today. That I feel bad because I left right after the obsequies although I … should've stayed with her." She rubbed her face.

"You can return to your family. I will get along without you."

She shook her head. "No, I can't. If I return now she'll make me stay forever. My parents roughly know what's going on here. They fear for my life. But I can't stay with them. I can't leave this war as if it doesn't concern me. Also -" She broke off.

"Also?" he inquired. His heart started pounding again when Hermione stopped and looked at him. He followed suit.

"Also you are here and not there." Severus lowered his gaze, his arms once again behind his back. Just as he took a breath to respond, she held up a hand and stopped him. "I know you don't like it but I can't just accept this connection and leave. It increases my emotions and I almost went crazy today with this helplessness. I don't want to experience something like this ever again. So I'll do what I can to never have to experience something like this ever again and hope we'll eventually find the solution to this puzzle." Her eyes were filled with tears but she seemed determined to not let them spill over.

Severus looked at her with clenched teeth and fists because otherwise his hands would shake and he couldn't stand that. Because it would no longer be just Hermione's fear but his own and he couldn't afford to be afraid. Eventually, he nodded.

Hermione reciprocated and turned to the lake. They'd stopped in front of one of the small jetties leading partway into the lake. She went to its end, took off her shoes and socks, and shoved up the legs of her black trousers. Then she sat down and tucked her feet into the water.

For a while, he remained standing on the path, watching the light reflecting on her hair; the castle's shadow didn't reach that far onto the lake yet. Soon it would, but not yet. Finally, he followed her and crouched down behind her. "The squid likes young people's legs," he informed her in a deep voice.

Hermione flashed him a glance. Something like a smile tugged on the corners of her mouth. "Put yours in then, too. Maybe that'll make him keep his distance." She wiggled her feet more loudly, swashing the water, letting the whole lake know she was there.

He frowned while Hermione looked ahead over the lake. The fear lessened, he could breathe more freely again. He hadn't hurt her with one of his insensitive remarks, that seemed to soothe her. So much she even got cheeky.

Severus took a moment to contemplate. Normally he didn't have enough time to think a decision through. He had to follow his instincts, had to hope it would save his life. But now it wasn't about his life. Now he had time. A bit.

He could leave. Say goodbye to Hermione and leave. It wouldn't surprise her, in fact, it'd be exactly what everyone would expect of him. If he started with a snort she wouldn't even notice that sensing her feelings did something to him. But he would notice what that decision would do to her. He wasn't interested in that.

Or he could stay. Without sticking his feet into the water. He could lean against one of the pillars towering approximately three feet over the berth on each side, keep her company. Maybe that would comfort her.

Or he could do what she'd suggested. He could stun her and amuse her and Merlin, she could do with a little joy! And he. He could do with it, too, her feelings were still like a heavy weight on his shoulders.

A sly smile played around his thin lips when he stood up and took off his shoes and socks, rolled up his trouser legs and sat down beside her. His feet went deeper into the cool water, he could feel algae under his toes.

Hermione looked at him as stunned as he had imagined. Her mouth ajar, she'd raised her eyebrows and smiled. Then she laughed softly and shook her head. Severus crossed his arms and regarded her appraisingly. "What's so funny?"

She cleared her throat and pain and joy and maybe a little bit of gratitude swashed against his mind. "Seeing my former teacher sitting at the lake with naked legs, that's funny. You normally don't even open up a button on your shirt! I thought you were sleeping in these clothes! This is almost a striptease!"

He squinted his eyes. "To be perfectly clear," he said in a deep voice, "if this gets around I will personally take vengeance and my vengeance will be merciless." She pursed her lips. "And …" he began but hesitated.

"And?" Hermione inquired.

"And I tend to sleep naked."

She covered her face with her hands and gave off a sound somewhere between indignation and amusement. A sound that made Severus smile, too. It momentarily took his breath away how good it felt to see, hear, sense her like this. Eventually, she looked at him again. "You are and will always be a mystery, Severus Snape."

"Without a doubt."

He looked over the lake and from the corner of his eye, he saw her do the same. Both of them were quiet for a few minutes and Severus's thoughts returned to Hermione's day. Her rationality when she told him about the funeral while this immense grief had got hold of his mind brought back his suspicion. Something about it wasn't right. "Tell me, Hermione," he eventually cut through the silence with a deep frown. She observed him. "Did you shed a single tear for your grandfather today?"

She went stiff, turned away, and fixed her eyes on a spot on the other side of the lake. A jerky movement went through her head; Severus interpreted it as no.

"Why not?"

She bit her lip but then her chin trembled. She sobbed. It echoed over the lake and she covered her mouth to stop it. Only when she regained some composure she looked at him. "I wasn't entitled to, was I? I had to support my mother not the other way round." The grief returned, making Severus grimace. The pent-up tears in her eyes spilled over her eyelids and fell onto her splotchy red cheeks.

For a moment the pain was so heavy he couldn't even breathe. He frowned. "You are always entitled to mourn a beloved one," he said firmly.

"Di-id you e-ver …?" she asked hitchingly.

Severus snorted and lowered his gaze. "No."

"Why do you tell me it's okay then?"

"Because you are not like me." He captured her gaze. Her misty-eyed, open, vulnerable gaze and something choked him. This woman … He wanted her to be … well. The only thing he wanted more right now was to see the Dark Lord die. Severus put his arm around her shoulders, mainly because he couldn't stand being watched by her like this any longer, sensing her feelings and sensing his feelings and being unable to take them from her.

Hermione leaned against him, buried her face in the fabric of his black cloak, and cried all the tears she'd forbade herself earlier this day. Severus sighed and looked over the lake again, hoping he could once more make it better.