Risk: Chapter Twenty

TW: Mention of suicide.

The portal appeared just as she'd awoken that next morning.

Groaning, Rose stretched, pushed herself out of bed, and walked slowly over to it. She didn't really feel like dealing with her own world right now. Not when things in this one seemed a lot more important. However – she kind of wanted to see Jake.

Jake.

His jacket.

Grabbing it quickly where she'd tossed it and her Homecoming dress to the wayside, she jumped on through, tucking herself in like she always did and anticipating a harsh landing. This time, it was on concrete, just outside her apartment building. She let out a quick "ouch!", rubbing at her sore knees, and then quickly looked around to make sure no one caught her.

It seemed only one person had saw her, however it was a neighborhood junkie, and they were simply waving her off. Good – kind of.

She didn't need to worry about him, at least.

It was still the dead of night here, meaning that probably only an hour had passed, like usual. That still bothered her, deep down. She really tried not to think too hard on it, but the fact that she was aging while everyone else kind of stayed the same made her feel… old.

At nineteen, she didn't need to feel that way at all.

Entering her home, Rose called out to her uncle, wondering if he was home. No answer. No dice, she guessed.

Off doing pharmaceutical work, she assumed.

She went to her room, wide awake since she technically had a full night's sleep before the portal appeared, and decided to start on some homework. By the time the sun had come up that Sunday morning, she'd completed two Calculus assignments and three Anatomy chapters. Now she felt a little exhausted, but she wanted to eat before she slept the day away.

Wait, didn't she have work today? Not until three, so she had time to sleep off her night time zoomies.

Getting a quick bite to eat, she settled on two pieces of toast, since they didn't have a lot of groceries in the house to begin with. Washing it down with a simple glass of water – the milk had long since expired – she went back to her room and crawled under her covers, reaching for her phone to set her alarm for two o'clock PM.

Before she knew it, the damn thing had gone off, and bleary eyed she forced herself up and out of bed. She went to her closet to grab her uniform, putting it on slowly, slipping on each article of clothing meticulously as if it would tear – mostly because she was too tired to do so quickly.

Right before leaving the house, she grabbed her phone and purse, checking her phone for any messages. She had a couple from Bunni. One sent right after the other, followed by a phone call. How had she slept through that? She scrolled through the messages quickly. 'Can I call?' Then, 'It's kind of an emergency.' The call was right after those texts had been sent.

Grabbing her car key, she left her home, simultaneously dialing Bunni's number. A few rings, then voicemail. She shot her a text instead. 'I work at three, but you can text anytime. Sorry I missed you.'

The work day was rather slow. Rose was rather thankful for that, as she worried for her friend. She checked her phone under her work apron every now and again when her boss wasn't looking. Tim came to visit that day, which was a nice little respite from her worries. She talked to him and had a drink with him while he ate. He asked about Jake, and she told him he was fine, that she liked hanging out with him. Tim seemed to like hearing that.

After work, Rose decided to go visit Bunni directly since she still hadn't texted her back. The dorms weren't far from her work, so it wasn't like it was out of her way; besides, she was her friend. Checking on her was the least she could do. She did say it was an emergency.

Upon arriving, Rose couldn't help but notice the many police cars that surrounded the parking lot. There was also an ambulance. Finding a random place to park, she hopped out of her car and ran toward the dorms, up the stairs to where her friend lived. A police officer stopped her.

"I'm sorry, we're not allowing anyone in."

"She's my best friend. She told me it was an emergency earlier today."

"She?"

Rose hated when people did this. Bunni – who once went by the name Annabelle, but also by a deadname that Rose would never utter again – was born a man, a woman in the wrong body. Bunni actually passed really well, her parents allowing her to start on hormones at a rather young age while in high school. But it was moments like this that made Rose's blood boil.

Anyone with eyes could tell that Bunni was, in fact, a woman, despite anything that her driver's license or whatever said.

"Yes, she," Rose emphasized. "Annabelle?" she tried, then when that didn't seem to be working, she said that awful, awful name. "Benjamin."

"Oh, so you do know the victim."

"Victim?" she whispered, eyes widening at the word. "What happened to her?"

"You might want to talk to him," said the police officer, pointing to someone in the parking lot wearing a black jacket, standing by a civilian's car, holding a notepad. Whoever it was, he was talking to Bunni's roommate, and she was crying.

Hurriedly, Rose joined the roommate at her side, barely able to breathe. "What's going on?"

"Rose," said the roommate, reaching out to hug her. "Rose, I'm so sorry."

"What –" Rose didn't hug her back, understandably confused. "What are you sorry for?"

The girl pulled away, still crying, to say, "She's gone, Rose."

"Gone?" Now Rose's ears were ringing. "Gone how? What do you mean gone?"

"I'm sorry," the roommate sobbed, coming in for another hug.

Rose still didn't hug her back. The person she was talking to, Rose deduced was a detective, was speaking to her, but she didn't hear him.

She only heard two words. She's gone.


Classes were cancelled Monday in honor of Bunni, and also to call for an investigation.

Apparently, after the Homecoming dance, some of the cheerleaders that they had sat with invited Bunni out to an after party. There, it had somehow come out that Bunni was a trans woman, and those cheerleaders exposed her to everyone at the party – and word spread fast after that.

Apparently, Bunni couldn't take being outed like that.

Jake came to visit Rose at work the next day, and she had pulled him into the back so she could cry on his shoulder. It was nice to have someone comfort her, to hold her while she sobbed like that. Her boss didn't even say anything to her about it, just let her have her cry.

He stayed through most of her shift until he had to leave for his basketball practice. He even opted to skip it, but she insisted he go, that she would be okay. She promised to call him later, and that seemed to suffice enough for him.

The next few days went on like a blur.

She did her school work, worked her shifts, and even went to some of Jake's basketball practices when she could. But she couldn't bring herself to feel all that happy. Not with her friend gone. And with the way she left the world, Rose knowing that she was probably the last person she reached out to before Bunni did what she did – it broke Rose's heart even more.

Before she knew it, the funeral had come around.

Jake came with her, of course, for which she was eternally grateful. She wore a short black dress and Jake's jacket with her black loafers, keeping it very simple. Within the church where the service was held, it was adorned with black roses, a wreath with various black flowers beside the casket, and a picture of Bunni that they must have snagged from her Instagram on the other side of her. Something told Rose that Bunni would have said that all these decorations were tacky and classless, and the thought of her friend saying such a thing made her lip turn up a little on one side.

Just a little.

Probably the first time she'd truly tried to smile in the last few days.

Bunni's family allowed her to sit up front with them. All Rose could do was stare at the casket, stare at the visage of her face sticking out from the opening. "Can I go see her?" she asked Bunni's mom.

"Of course, dear. The service doesn't start for another twenty minutes."

She turned to Jake, saying, "Stay here, please."

"Are you sure?" He furrowed his brows, seeming unsure about allowing her to go up to Bunni alone.

"I'm very sure." She stood up slowly, approaching the casket. It was all black with pink and gold accents. Rose thought Bunni would think it was very chic. Then she dared to look at her. She was dressed in a black dress with a white collar, her hair in two ponytails like how she liked to style it. Her brown eyes were shut, her mouth painted a soft pink, as were her cheeks. She wouldn't like this makeup job at all. She would think she looked a little like a clown.

That was when she felt it, and she couldn't believe it was happening now, of all times. But just where was it hiding? Tears pricking at her eyes, anger brimming, she turned and said to Bunni's family, "I need to collect myself." Then she went searching. First upstairs of the church – nope. Then down in the basement.

There it was.

Glancing behind her, she made sure no one had followed her. And just as she'd approached to enter, she heard her name being called.

"Rose?"

It was Jake.

She glanced back to see him at the edge of the staircase, staring wide-eyed at her.

"I'll be right back," she assured him. "Don't tell anyone what you saw, okay?"

"What—"

But she didn't give him a chance to ask anymore questions – she was long gone.