Chapter Forty Three
"What I don't understand is why he demanded Missy and I stay away from Kel and Maura in the first place? Only to turn around and murder Alexis, when we were following his wishes. It doesn't make any sense, especially not with such a specific motive of wanting the truth of Liam's whereabouts to be revealed." Jane muses out loud as she stares at the murder board they have set up for Alexis' murder.
Alec shrugs and counters, "Perhaps the mistake was trusting a violent killer to keep his word?"
Jane hits him with an exaggerated eye roll and mutters, "No shit Sherlock," under her breath.
Jane isn't stupid. She's always known that things could turn on a dime when least expected and perhaps she ought to have handled things differently. She knows she would have handled them considerably differently if Melissa wasn't involved. She's been too close to this from the beginning and yet has felt compelled to investigate, when the correct thing to do would have been to report every single thing that happened, including being roofied and leave it in the hands of her colleagues. She could have focused solely on keeping those around her safe, but she can't be everywhere at once and she is surrounded by very wilful women. As a result there was only one logical conclusion she could arrive at: she had to do it herself.
Except now she has help. Help from one person who has admirable personal qualities, but cannot be truly trusted because of those personal qualities. A loyal man is wonderful, when he is loyal to you, dangerous when he is not. She's handcuffed by his loyalties already, because she'd love to use Rachael as bait to lure this psycho out of the woodwork, but that's never going to fly with Alec. Yet, this absolutely abhorrent woman who holds the key to all of this has now been inserted into their investigation. Jane is still livid about it, but trying ridiculously hard to bury her personal loathing. It would be so much easier if she could work the case with Jacob, a man she does trust entirely. Rather than be faced with this absolute shitshow of conflicted personalites.
"Maybe this guy is getting off on fucking with everyone." Rachael, or rather Detective Holden as she must be referred to in the bowels of the police building, proffers from her position leaning against the wall at the back of the room.
Jane swivels and looks at the woman, a few choice words come to mind, but she bites her tongue and shifts her focus back to Alec. She addresses him, "Even if that's the case, there has to be motivation we aren't aware of. It can't just be about your dirty little secret."
Alec's eyes widen in what Jane can only imagine to be alarm, but her voice only hardens as she allows her internal thought process to spill out of her mouth with little regard for any feelings in the room. "For that matter," she says, swinging and turning her ire on to Rachael. "Where's this alleged note that implies this is all about you? Because that quite frankly doesn't really make sense without mental gymnastics. The target has been Melissa all along, and then Alexis, and last night the psychopath follows a vehicle Maura is in. Now, this is an easy one for the class, who do they all have in common?"
Jane has thought about this all day. Maura was definitely onto something last night when she said that Gabby is also one of the people that the psychopathic piece of crap wants to torture. Only Jane suspects it is more than that. When looking at the evidence available and not taking into account hearsay, there is only one person at the centre of this vortex.
"Gabby," Alec says quietly. Perfectly recognising Jane's train of thought.
"Then why the Hell did he drug you, Rizzoli?" Rachael asks cooly, her eyes locking onto Alec like a homing missile. Suffice to say a small part of Jane feels giddy at how pissed off she looks.
"That was clearly a mistake. Perhaps the only mistake he's made." Jane answers.
"So why didn't he just kill Missy when he had the chance then huh?" Rachael shoots back, her eyes shifting in Jane's direction. "For that matter, why did he even go after her, if what you're saying is accurate? She was with Kelly at the time."
Jane rolls her eyes. She knows Rachael is just being obtuse to be difficult, either that or she is significantly out of touch with reality. "So you're telling me after all those years of friendship with Gabby you can't tell how much Missy means to her?" Jane pauses for effect then adds, "Oh that's right, you clearly had no idea. Some friend you turned out to be, huh?"
Rachael steps up, nose to nose with Jane. Jane pushes Alec away as he looks to intervene, in no mood for his interference. If Rachael wants to come at her, she welcomes it. "Let her give me a reason," she growls at him.
"You shouldn't speak on things you don't understand." Rachael warns icily.
"Jane!" Alec's voice is low in warning and Jane suspects if she looks at him she'll know for sure if that warning is for her benefit or Rachael's, but she doesn't look.
Jane feels a current of anticipation shoot along her nerves as her hand curls into a fist by her side. She ignores Alec and fixes Rachael with the kind of glare that would leave most men, let alone women, quivering in their boots. Rachael doesn't flinch. Jane isn't surprised.
"Oh I understand," she says quietly, her eyes flashing dangerously. "I understand that abusing a thirteen year old girl wasn't enough for you. You then had to come along when she was happy and manipulate her into blowing up her entire life. Because how dare she, right? How dare she fall for someone else? It should have been you. I mean, look at all that hard work you put into her when she was young and impressionable. How dare she fall for someone else?"
"Enough!" Alec roars as he forcibly steps in between the two women just as Jane clocks Rachael's eyes flashing angrily. He starts pushing Rachael back gently towards the door, keeping his body between them.
Jane turns to look back at the murder board, snidely commenting under her breath as she does so, "That's what someone ought to have said when she was fifteen."
"Fuck you Rizzoli!" Rachael spits back venomously.
"For fuck's sake." Alec growls, "This ain't the place to be comparing dick size. If you two insist on this macho bullshit, do it on your own damn time. Need I remind you two of the importance of figuring this one out? The particular lives under most threat?" He turns to face Jane, she shifts so she can face him. "Missy. Maura."
Jane swallows uncomfortably, considering herself deservedly dressed down. She nods and looks away, unable to meet either pair of eyes peering at her. She hates to admit it, even to herself, but he has a valid point. This is not the time or place for what feels like an inevitable showdown. Whether she likes it or not, she has to behave. She has to accept that Rachael is here to stay, for the time being anyway. She needs to stop being antagonistic because just as Alec said, there are innocent people that she happens to love deeply, on the chopping block.
"Look I'm just trying to figure this out alright? Like Alec said, there are people we both care about in the firing line. Let's set aside our crap until we've caught the asshole, alright?" Jane offers an olive branch, even though just doing so makes her skin crawl.
Rachael shares a look with Alec, undoubtedly a silent conversation is being had, but Jane can't figure it out for the life of her. Although he does look like he's encouraging her to take the truce. At least it feels like he wants the truth to be figured out. Jane isn't sure if she can trust him, but she can trust that.
Rachael sighs heavily and walks by Alec when he stands aside. She holds her hand out, which Jane gawks at incredulously for a moment before Alec coughs, at which point she resists the temptation to roll her eyes and accepts the hand offered.
"Deal." Rachael says as they shake hands.
"So, did you really get a note?" Jane questions, attempting to sound curious as she wipes her hand against her trousers in a subconscious attempt to wipe herself clean of the woman she loathes most.
"I did. Alec has seen it."
Jane nods and turns back to the board. "Do you still have it? I'd like to see it."
"I do."
"So then we have to consider that this guy's motives and targets are evolving. It may have started as a hunt for the truth, but it feels too convoluted for that to be the only motive. Why would he even bother targeting Missy while she's with me?"
"Opportunity." Alec says, moving to stand the other side of her as all three of them stand and look at the board. "He's clearly surveilling. Maybe he followed Missy that day, thought he had an opportunity, only he fucks up. He undoubtedly recognises this, but decides it's still as good an opportunity as ever."
"But he didn't hurt them." Rachael counters.
"No, he didn't and the manipulations he demanded don't make much sense either." Jane admits. "I still don't understand why he wanted Kelly sent home and for me to stay away from Maura."
"Perhaps he was looking to stick the knife in and twist, get everyone off kilter?" Rachael offers before adding, "If he's been surveilling like Alec suggests, he probably figured he could really isolate Gabs by figuring out where she would turn. Maybe he felt like under the right pressure you and Missy would cave to your feelings? It opens up the field, doesn't it? It took Missy off the board and despite what you might think, I do know what she means to Gabs."
Jane swallows down a sarcastic remark and turns her head to look at Rachael who meets her gaze. Jane doesn't say anything, she takes in the theory and mulls it over. It's chilling. "To draw you out?"
"It worked, didn't it? Masterful manipulation."
"I'm for one glad it worked." Alec adds, "Because without you he'd have manipulated her into an early grave."
Jane feels the same relief Alec does and yet she wants to argue Rachael's theory. Mostly because of the mouth it's spewing out of, but she can't. When she takes a moment and looks at the big picture instead of focusing on the small oddities, she can see how it set Gabby on a path to self destruction. Having failed, is he only going to double down and try harder? Is his ultimate goal to force those he blames for the disappearance of Liam into taking their own lives, or leave them alive suffering intense emotional distress?
A shudder rolls down her spine. Of course it also means that there's no telling for sure who the next victim will be given his last attempt was thwarted. If she were out for the blood of many, she'd switch targets after last night. But it begs the question, will it still be Maura? Will it be Melissa? Will it be someone else entirely? Will it be someone closer to Rachael or Alec? There are so many questions and so many variables. There isn't enough manpower to protect every possible target.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
"What if we give him what he truly wants? What if we give him closure?" Jane asks, dead serious. She looks toward Alec, "An anonymous tip to crimestoppers?"
"Absolutely not," Alec grinds out, "This is not the place for this conversation."
Jane watches as Rachael walks across the room, pokes her head into the bullpen and turns back to face them as she draws the door closed. "Place is a ghost town, aside from Roberts and Driscoll, who look busy."
Jane isn't sure who is more shocked by the behaviour from Rachael that indicates at the very least a conversation ought to be had. Alec looks like steam is coming from his ears, he isn't impressed. Jane on the other hand expected a lot more self preservation to come from Rachael. She is intrigued, although she schools her features in anticipation of a legitimate conversation on the topic.
Rachael doesn't disappoint. "While I'm surprised to realise the depth of information you've shared with her, I'm inclined to agree with Rizzoli."
Alec looks as perplexed as Jane feels. He half sits, half leans against the edge of a table and levels his gaze onto Rachael. "Your DNA could be present…" he appears to consider his words wisely, "At the scene."
"Are you worried about my DNA or your own, Alec?" Rachael questions quietly.
"Yours." He says, a burning intensity in his eyes, "You've got a kid to worry about! This is insanity and it won't change anything." He looks imploringly over at Jane, "Do you really think he's going to be satisfied with closure? This guy is sadistic. He tortures his victims in a manner that matches a serial killer from your past, Rizzoli. There is so much more to this than any of us realise."
Jane swallows her surprise at learning Rachael has a child and sighs because she suspects he is right. "That's what terrifies me," she admits quietly.
Reality is, they have no damn clue who this is. They just have theories. They have no real idea what the motive is. They just have theories. It's an absolute mess. An absolutely terrifying mess.
Jane glances at her watch. It's past knockoff time. "I'm open to ideas, but I have somewhere to be."
Alec nods. "Goodnight Rizzoli.
"I hope she's doing better." Rachael proffers quietly, making it quite clear she knows precisely where Jane is headed.
Jane's body bristles and she hesitates for half a step, swallowing down a vitriolic response begging to be spat out. Instead she reminds herself that there are bigger fish to fry and for the time being she's best to ignore anything non case related that comes out of Rachael's mouth. Lest she do something she might regret. "Goodnight, Morris."
After calming Gabby down and allowing her to sleep a little in her arms on the couch, Maura helps her groggy girlfriend back into bed and pulls the covers over her before disappearing back downstairs. Her intention is to prepare dinner, but quiet moments alone allow the thoughts in her brain to get loud. Too many worries plague her mind, as a result she finds herself sitting down by the pool to enjoy the sunshine and the flora in her back garden.
It's been a pretty heavy twenty four hours and her focus has been squarely on her own feelings and shoring up the foundation of her new relationship. Ten years ago, five even, she wouldn't have considered going to the lengths she is now willing to go for romance. Life experience has taught her that love isn't perfect and requires hard work at times.
She's seen the highs with Gabby, she knows how good it can be and she's ready and willing to give everything she has left in the tank in the hopes they can reach that point again. She feels like she owes it to both of them. Because while she would never want to minimise the significance of her relationship with Jane, her appearance in Launceston really did shatter her relationship with Gabby the first time around. Her heart clenches as her mind flashes back to that fateful night. It hurts remembering the seamless synchronicity she and Gabby worked with when Jane showed up at the door drunk. It hurts remembering how Gabby set aside all of her jealousy to be a wonderful girlfriend. It hurts remembering the love in her eyes as she absconded with a toasted cheese sandwich on her way to see Melissa.
A dark cloud descends as Maura remembers that she and Jane were not the only ones to err that night. Gabby did too. She thought about it at the time and forgave it quickly, nothing has changed since then. Hindsight says that the entire situation the four of them were in was difficult to navigate. Mistakes were inevitable in the throws of letting go. Emotions and lines were always going to blur.
Perhaps Jane has been right in believing that she should have fought harder, because as she sits here taking a breather from the fight for Gabby's sanity, she desperately wishes she could have her time again. She desperately wishes she never hounded Jane into giving away her true feelings. Because if she remained oblivious, then surely Gabby's mental health wouldn't be so fragile right now. Things would have definitely been different for Melissa. Perhaps she too wouldn't be so broken. Perhaps when she needs someone to talk to, as she does now, she wouldn't feel so hesitant to call Jane.
Jane isn't her only option anymore and in the midst of the gloomy thoughts swirling in her brain a ray of sunshine peeks through and forces a soft smile to tug at her lips. While complicated, her social life is bigger and better than it has ever been. She takes out her phone and calls Kelly.
"Good evening," she says when Kelly answers. "I just wanted to check on you and apologise for leaving so quickly last night."
"I've been better." Kelly admits, sighing heavily. "But you don't have to apologise. I get it. I trust everything was okay at home?"
"Thankfully it was." Maura confirms.
"That's great. Did you tell her how you feel?"
For a moment there's a little bit of a disconnect as Maura reconciles her logical brain with her emotional one. Logically she knows Kelly was there last night, she is, afterall, checking on her wellbeing. However, her cognisance of anyone in the room with her and Jane while she was making her impassioned plea was non-existent at the time. Logic quickly puts the dots together and she nods even though Kelly can't see her. "I did, yes."
"That's great." Kelly sounds less than enthused, despite her words to the contrary.
"It is," Maura confirms. "What's wrong?"
Kelly sighs.
Maura wonders where she is and what she is doing. She knows she left Jane's this morning and a part of her worries, but she is her own person and she needs to live her life.
Finally after several long seconds that feel like they are going to stretch on forever, Kelly explains. "Lawyers say they can't get the divorce papers here before Christmas. I think that's a load of crap and I've been declining calls from my father all morning."
"Do you think he wants you to change your mind?"
"I don't think it, Maura. I know it." Kelly sounds a combination of exasperated and defeated and Maura truly feels for her. "I just want to move on from this chapter of my life, you know?"
"I understand entirely." Maura is more than aware of that feeling, it's why she's gone to such lengths to try and get Gabby back on track. She is fumbling towards ecstasy, or, she supposes, the next closest thing. "Are you going to head home to deal with this or stick around?"
"I need to see this through in person. I need to know she'll be okay."
Maura glances up as a Kookaburra starts laughing wickedly from a tall gumtree in her backyard. It's almost as if the bird knows precisely how both she and Kelly are feeling. It's somewhat laughable to an outsider, the way they both feel this unyielding need to make sure the person they thought they would be spending their life with is indeed okay as they move on, with each other. "I am sure that Jane will do everything in her power to ensure it."
"Yeah." There's silence on the other end of the line for some time, which surprisingly doesn't make Maura feel anxious. It's a comfortable silence, something she notes deep down in her subconscious. Kelly finally finishes her thought, "With everything going on, it is hitting a little harder than it has been. I just want to protect her from all of this and I can't."
"I think you need to put yourself first from here on out." Maura suggests, "Because there's no changing the path those two are on. They're walking it together and all that is left for either of us to do is live our own lives."
"I know you're right. I think I just need to see her sign the papers, you know? I need to see her let go."
"A ceremonial letting go so to speak?" Maura asks.
"Yeah, something like that." Kelly sighs and says, "I should probably go and organise to extend my accommodation."
Maura quickly comes to the conclusion that if Kelly's going to be in Launceston until after Christmas it would be a lot safer for her if she was staying with someone. "I need to run it by Gabby to be sure, but I would feel much better if you stayed here."
"You don't need to do that."
"You're right, I don't need to. I want to. I'm sure Gabby won't have a problem with it."
Kelly sounds hesitant, perhaps reluctant even, but she agrees. "Only if she's okay with it."
"I'll talk to her about it over dinner." Maura says, already on her feet heading back inside so that she can start dinner. The sooner dinner is ready, the sooner she has an excuse to wake Gabby and the sooner Kelly can stay somewhere more secure than a motel apartment.
"Alright. Let me know how that goes. I'll talk to you after dinner."
Maura says her goodbyes and heads into the kitchen, only to hear the sounds of thudding as Gabby descends the stairs. Curiosity getting the better of her she sets off down the hall, finding her girlfriend as she is poking her head into the living room.
"Oh hey, I was just looking for you." Gabby says, her phone in hand. "You won't believe the crazy sh- err, stuff going down at work right now."
"Oh?"
Gabby motions her into the living room and Maura follows. They both sit on the couch and Gabby continues, "That was Alec. He was letting me know the brass called in the feds to help with Alex's murder investigation."
Maura's brow furrows a little in thought. She doesn't imagine Jane is too happy about this, but perhaps it is for the best. She's never seen Jane so perplexed as she has been with this case.
Gabby however seems like an energetic toddler, albeit a confused one, as she continues. "And get this, the fed they've called in is Rachael! Jane's apparently been losing her sh- err, mind. Alec said she went ballistic when they were informed of the new situation."
Maura sucks in a deep breath and does her best to plaster a thoughtful look on her face, while hoping and praying to a deity she does not believe in that Gabby doesn't follow this observation with questions.
Gabby continues like she hasn't noticed. "Now look, I know she's on edge about her, but I really don't understand why she's behaving the way she is."
Maura nods thoughtfully, trying not to think about the very reason she knows would have Jane wanting to strangle Rachael with her bare hands. A reason that if she were to come clean about, would undo all of the work she put in this afternoon. It was a difficult and uncomfortable conversation and she still feels absolutely horrid for pushing Gabby as hard as she did for the sake of making her break just enough so that she could start putting her back together. She doesn't want to watch all of that turn to dust because Gabby finds out what happened when they were teens. She doesn't want to risk her temper exploding with dire consequences. This is one secret she knows she has to keep and the best way to do that is to pretend she doesn't know. That she is not privy to something highly important that Gabby is not.
"Cause Alec wasn't the first to call. I've been fielding calls for the last fifteen minutes. Apparently Jane iced her out so hard it was like Antarctica in the bullpen."
Maura simply nods and shrugs. "You would have to talk to her. Though I imagine she's none too pleased having an outsider brought in on her investigation."
"Maybe if this was just any case." Gabby says, her brow creasing with her thoughts. "But this is big. These are the most important people in her life in the crosshairs."
Gabby pauses to take a breath and it's apparent from the look on her face that the next thought on the tip of her tongue is a difficult one. "The most important people in my life, Maura. You. No, there's gotta be more. Has to be."
The moment passes and Gabby perks up with her next observation, all the while Maura rubs her knee supportively as she listens. "You know Jane and I don't get along at the best of times and she never even thought of treating me like this at work. This makes no sense."
It's remarkable the difference a cathartic release and some sleep has had for her girlfriend's demeanour and energy levels. Her eyes are vibrant, albeit with suspicion, clearly convinced something is going on with Jane. Maura welcomes this, even if the conversation is a difficult one to field. "I think she's too close to this. Just as I think you are too close to this, my love. However, I think the added stress is fraying her temper and splitting her focus. Outside help is a good idea, although I'm not so sure Rachael is going to be any better than you two have been so far."
Surprisingly Gabby doesn't take offence. She actually nods her agreement. "It's a tough spot for sure, but honestly even if her focus is split, she's still ten times better than any of us locals at investigating this stuff. Maybe I should have a word with her, calm her down about Rache? Jane really can't be pretending like she doesn't exist when she's being asked a question. At least not around the rest of the guys. It's unprofessional and noticeable."
Maura isn't sure that's a good idea either. If Jane happens to explain to Gabby her reasons for acting so uncharacteristically unprofessional, well, that's a thought Maura pushes aside. "Let me talk to her. It might be better coming from me."
Gabby leans over and places a quick peck on Maura's lips and grins as she stands and says, "This is one of the reasons I love you. You're a great listener and you have fantastic ideas!"
Maura's lips tingle pleasantly from the surprise, albeit, brief kiss and her eyes follow her girlfriend as she walks towards the exit. "Where are you going?"
"To fix dinner. I'm starving, aren't you?"
Maura shakes her head in mild amusement. This small snapshot of Gabby being more like herself instead of the dark broody husk of a woman she has become is exhilarating. She stands and quickly follows after Gabby as she heads down the hall, "Kelly is staying in town until after Christmas. How would you feel if I asked her to stay here until she leaves town?"
Gabby turns, looking thoughtful once again. She appears to mull it over for a moment before she says, "Since we can't really rule out that she wasn't the target last night I think that's a smart move as I don't imagine she has any interest in staying with Jane."
"And that," Maura says as she draws Gabby into her arms so that she can plant a soft, lingering kiss on her lips. "Is one of the reasons I love you."
Gabby kisses her once more after she has finished speaking then draws back back and steps away. With a smirk and a flex she replies, "And here I thought it was all about the muscle definition."
Maura's eyes travel from Gabby's smirk all the way along her shoulder onto her arm. She bites her lip because Gabby knows her too well, as a well defined bicep is very alluring to her. With a light laugh and a playful eye roll she pushes Gabby's shoulder and nods in the direction of the kitchen. "Oh hush you. There are many reasons. Right now, your culinary skills are top of the list."
Gabby grins and waves as she disappears through the doorway into the kitchen. Maura simply stands in the hall, allowing herself to revel in the absolute normalcy of the moment they just shared. It's been months since she has seen Gabby this way. It warms her heart and fills her with hope regarding their future.
"How's she doing? Jane asks.
Nurse Nancy Arnold's smile looks kind as she answers, "Really good today, actually."
Jane rubs at the base of her skull. Her body has been tense all day and despite the work truce, just being in the same room with Rachael felt like too much at times. She doesn't know how she is supposed to explain her day when Melissa asks about it, but she'll endeavour to do so. The cat's well and truly out of the bag, so there's zero point in deception.
What she really needs though is more time with Melissa. These visiting hours are not doing it for her. She leans forward on the counter of the nurses station and asks, "Do you think there's any way I could squeeze out a little extra time with her tonight?"
Nancy glances at the computer and briefly taps some keys. She looks back up and says, "If you keep it down I'm pretty sure I can forget you're here."
Jane grins and asks, "You checked the schedule to see if ya boss is on tonight, huh?"
Nancy shakes her head and her smile looks mirthful as she motions towards Melissa's room. "Go, before you make me change my mind."
Jane offers a soft thank you as she pushes away from the counter and heads into Melissa's room, closing the door behind herself. Melissa is standing by the window, earbuds in, presumably listening to music and not at all aware of her entrance. Jane takes it in, feeling a smile tug at her lips when her girlfriend starts moving and grooving on the small patch of floor by the window. Dancing like nobody's watching.
Jane coughs loudly and when that doesn't work she walks across the room and places a hand on Melissa's shoulder. Her girlfriend doesn't startle, which is clear progress, because her nerves have been shot lately and it's nice to see that even in a moment where almost anyone might jump, Melissa's simply smiling.
"What?" Melissa asks as she removes her ear pieces and pockets them.
Jane simply shakes her head and wraps her arms around Melissa tightly. She breathes in the familiar, comforting scent of her shampoo and murmurs, "I missed you."
"I missed you too." Melissa says as she pulls back and finds Jane's hands with her own, guiding them up between their bodies. She's studying her and it occurs to Jane that Melissa may have missed a calling as an investigator, she's so very good at reading people, or at least her anyway. "What's bothering you?"
"What isn't?" Jane counters in an attempt at humour, which only falls flat. She sighs heavily and brings her forehead to rest against Melissa's. She closes her eyes and says, "Last night was rough. Today was rougher."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Yes and no," Jane admits quietly, allowing herself to be guided over to the chairs. She sits down and draws Melissa down across her lap, desperate for closeness while she explains her twenty four hours from Hell. "He followed Maura and Kelly last night. Thankfully nobody was hurt, but it really clouds any understanding of the motive behind it all."
Melissa's lips feel soft against the side of her head and her breath warm as silence settles between them. She wants to know what her girlfriend is thinking, but chooses to embrace the silence and the calming hand now gently rubbing her scalp. Jane sighs as she feels the last of the tension leave her body. "Kel's being stubborn about it all. Talked her into staying last night, but she insisted on going back to her apartment this morning."
"She can handle herself and if she can't, that's not on you Jane." Melissa says softly, continuing to press soft, slow kisses against the side of her head. "What else happened last night?"
Jane closes her eyes and sighs again. "Maura ignored my concerns and went straight back home."
"Didn't you say she was bringing Gabby back home yesterday?"
"Yeah."
"Bet that was hard for you, letting her go like that."
"You have no idea." Jane says, without thinking, before letting out a frustrated huff and rushing to explain, "Because I'm over protective, not 'cause of her feelings for Gabby."
Jane turns her head as encouraged by a gentle finger to her chin and is relieved to see that Melissa's eyes are soft and non judgemental when she speaks, "Even if you were a little jealous, I'd understand. You don't just forget everything you felt for someone, even after you move on."
Jane lets out a sigh of relief and closes the small space between them for a gentle, albeit brief kiss before continuing. "I'd be lying if I denied feeling a twinge of jealousy, but honestly I'm more relieved than anything. It's a huge weight off my shoulders knowing that she's moving on. Does that make me an ass?"
Melissa plants one hand against her cheek and the other gracefully brushes some stray strands of hair from her face. "Nah. I think it's sweet you care enough to worry about her happiness after all that's happened. I'm more surprised you aren't stomping around because of who she's chosen to move forward with."
"You really think I hate her don't you?"
"You telling me you didn't hate her from the moment you heard about her?" Melissa asks with a crooked smile and a quirked eyebrow.
"That's different." Jane whines playfully, "That was absolute jealousy. When I strip that away all I can see is a woman drowning in grief. Maura will be good for her."
"They'll be good for each other." Melissa says softly, her eyes shimmering a little.
"What's wrong?" Jane asks, worried by the sudden appearance of tears.
"Nothing's wrong," Melissa says, "I'm just so damn proud of you."
Jane's pretty sure she looks puzzled because she's quite uncertain on why her girlfriend is proud of her, although she most certainly appreciates the sentiment. "So they're happy tears then?"
Melissa laughs lightly. "Yes, you goofball. In the midst of all this shit we're buried in, you've found a way to grow. There's no way the Jane Rizzoli I first met would ever accept those two being together as a good thing."
Jane shrugs, "It's just age, sweetheart. I'm too damn old for this drama. It's taken me a long time, too long in fact, to get here. Love is love. As long as she treats Maura right we're good."
Melissa brings her forehead to rest against Jane's and they sit there allowing Jane's newfound acceptance of Gabby in Maura's life to marinate. Jane feels like her batteries are recharging by being in her girlfriend's presence and is grateful that Nurse Arnold has given her the opportunity to get the proper charge she needs. She'd be twenty minutes tops, from having to leave if not for that and watching the clock would only ruin the time they have together.
"Do you want to talk about today now? Or when you get home?" Melissa asks.
"Oh I'm not going home for a while," Jane says, suddenly remembering that Charlie is home alone and undoubtedly hungry. She squeezes her hand into her pocket and pulls out her phone. As she is attempting to thumb out a message with her hand that isn't wrapped around Melissa she looks over at a questioning face and explains, "Nancy says if we're quiet she'll forget I'm here. I'm just texting Maura asking her and Gabby to feed Charlie."
"Ask her to take him, Jane. I know Gabby has to be missing him something chronic."
"Are you sure?"
"It'll be good for her. Besides, he's her dog."
"Alright then." Jane finishes thumbing out the message explaining the gist of what Melissa just said, plus her intentions for the night and looks up to confirm, "I'm assuming Gabby still has a key?"
Melissa nods.
Jane sends the message. "Done."
"Great," Melissa says, sliding off of Jane's lap. She offers Jane a hand. "Come to bed."
It's obvious from the look on her face that this is about a gentle intimacy, not a sexual one. Plus, the way they were sitting, while more than comfortable for her, was undoubtedly not the most comfortable for her girlfriend. Jane takes the hand offered, kicks off her shoes and hangs her jacket over the back of her chair before climbing into bed and finding herself on her back with an arm draped over her stomach and a head against her chest.
Once comfortable Melissa says, "So tell me about today."
Jane's first thought is to play it off with a suggestion about spoiling the moment, but she knows that being cuddled up doesn't mean they shut up. In fact a lot of their more important conversations seem to happen this way. Why should tonight be any different? She mulls over the best way to approach it, deciding to keep it simple. "So, today I found out that Rachael's a fed and she's the fed that's been assigned to help catch him. I've been dealing with her and Alec all day and it's taken every ounce of my will power not to strangle her with my bare hands."
"Why?" Melissa's voice is so quiet, Jane barely hears it.
"Why what?"
"Why do you want to strangle her?"
Jane knows it's good they're not looking at each other right now, because the look of incredulity on her face can't be hidden. She's not sure she hides it in her tone either. "I'd have thought that would be obvious."
Melissa shifts beside her and sits up enough so that she can meet her eyes. Jane swallows nervously at the challenging look she sees peering back at her. Melissa's voice is low and firm, with a slight edge to it. "Don't do that."
"Don't do what?" Jane asks, shifting her own body so that she too is sitting up. She twists her torso just enough to maintain eye contact. "She's already taunted me once. Do you really think this is a coincidence? She's manipulated this situation to get in my face."
"Don't let her get the better of you, Jane. Don't give her that power."
Easier said than done, Jane realises. Because as much as she wants to think her visceral loathing of Rachael is spurred on solely by the woman causing her girlfriend a world of hurt in the past, she knows better. Everyone who knows Rachael and Melissa has warned her about Rachael's intent and it is hard to push those thoughts aside.
She's been witness to Melissa finally grasping the fact she was in love with this woman all those years ago and while she logically understands that Melissa has been questioning the validity of those feelings ever since her repressed memories emerged, it doesn't erase the fear that comes with Rachael being alive and kicking. Rachael is a threat to the happiness that Jane has given up practically everything for. It's absolutely getting the better of her and she knows it.
Jane feels the tender stroke of Melissa's hand against her cheek and brings her eyes back into focus. The worry on Melissa's face is next level and Jane doesn't know what to say to her. She doesn't know how to explain that as mature as she finds herself being about Maura and Gabby, she doesn't know how to trust that she is where Melissa wants to be. She's not just waiting for the other shoe to fall, she's waiting for it to be swung with force and knock her the fuck out.
"Jane?"
She shakes her head and then she feels the hot, wet pricks at the corner of her eyes that indicate her body is betraying her. She closes her eyes and leans into the hand cupping her cheek. She knows she has to pull it together. She's a hot blooded Italian American woman and while she's always felt her emotions strongly, she's not used to how this woman draws them out of her so blatantly. She cries in the shower. She holds it in. She doesn't just talk about it. Christ. She'd probably be married to Maura at this point if she ever bothered to open up when it mattered.
Even as she internally berates herself for allowing herself to be so emotionally honest with her girlfriend she is aware that the fact she is, is what makes this relationship different. It's what tells her this woman matters. It has been the compass guiding her for years and she should have known on day one that Melissa was different.
"Fuck," Jane curses under her breath. She feels Melissa cup her face with both hands and she opens her eyes. She finds herself staring into the intense swell of ocean blue and she knows, even now as she tries to fight it, that honesty is inevitable. "She wants you back, Missy. It's buried in her eyes with every damn interaction we have. I'm fuckin' terrified if she gets her hooks into you again that I'll lose you."
It's an admission that lingers heavily in the space between them for some time, even as Melissa's lips find hers in what feels like an act of reverence. Every grazing of lips, every movement of hands on her face and through her hair and every nuzzle between them weaves a tapestry of love that tempers the raging fires of jealousy within Jane. She attempts an apology, but it disappears into their kiss.
Melissa breaks away, presses her cheek next to Jane's and takes Jane's hand and places it against her chest, over her heart. She's panting lightly as she catches her breath and softly speaks into Jane's ear, "You feel that?"
Jane's eyes close and she nuzzles into Melissa's cheek while she focuses on the sensation of Melissa's heart pounding against her hand. It's practically racing. "Yeah," she acknowledges quietly.
"Look at me." Melissa demands and Jane feels her girlfriend's hands cupping her face once more. She looks into an intense swirl of blue and finds herself swallowing nervously in response. "I'm yours Jane. As long as I'm breathing, you will never lose me."
It's meant to be a definitive declaration. A comforting one. A reassurance of sorts. Jane knows this, and to some extent she feels it. It's a timely reminder of the intensity that burns between them, but it triggers another of Jane's fears and she finds herself withdrawing. Melissa's choice of words could have been better, given her history and the spectre of death following them at the moment.
Jane swivels and places her feet on the ground as she sits on the edge of the bed. She feels movement behind her and the sensation of a hand firmly planting on each of her shoulders. Melissa's breath is warm against her ear. Jane turns her head slightly, trying not to be a complete jackass, but she struggles to find the words. She feels like she's an emotional yoyo, bouncing from one extreme to another. It's fueling an urge to dull her senses.
"Jane?" Melissa sounds worried, which leaves Jane mentally kicking herself.
Jane reaches up and grips the hand on her right shoulder, fortifies herself with a deep breath and admits, "I need a meeting."
Gabby lets herself into Melissa's house and quickly notices the absence of many framed photographs from the walls. She notices the bedding on the couch in a neatly folded pile as she walks through the living room and is confused. There's a spare room, why would someone have needed the couch last night? Is Jane not sleeping well without Melissa at home? And what happened to the photographs?
She shakes off her thoughts as she walks down the hall towards the back door because she can hear Charlie and his excitement. He undoubtedly is alert to her footsteps, knows exactly who it is and is now barking and scratching at the door. She opens it and he immediately jumps up on her with enthusiasm. She wraps him up in her arms and laughs as he licks her face when she tries to give him a big kiss of her own. She gently pushes him down and says, "I missed you too Charlie."
She most certainly wasn't expecting the text Maura received from Jane a little earlier or for Maura to not even think twice about agreeing to let Charlie stay with them. It was harder convincing Maura to stay in the house behind the security of heavy set wooden doors, a security screen and an alarm system while she came to collect her dog.
"Okay boy, where's your stuff?" She questions out loud, mostly to herself. She figures once Melissa gets out of the hospital they can sort out custody moving forward, cause she has no intention of keeping Charlie from her in the slightest. In the meantime she intends to ransack the supplies Melissa has for Charlie so that he can be more comfortable at Maura's.
She bends down to pick up his dog bed in the living room and notices a box by the entertainment unit. Figuring that there might be some toys for Charlie in there, she walks over to investigate. She sets the dog bed down and crouches down in front of the box when she recognises the missing frames from the wall. She starts sifting through them and discovers the glass in all of them has been shattered or is missing in its entirety.
She feels the nuzzle of a wet nose against her hand and glances at Charlie beside her, "What on earth is going on here, boy?"
Charlie sits there, tail wagging energetically with his head cocked to the side as if he is paying close attention. Alas there are no answers forthcoming. Gabby ruffles behind his ears and stands back up. It's definitely a mystery to solve, but for now she just wants to pack up his stuff and get back home to Maura.
Melissa's ringtone shatters the silence around her. She digs into her pocket and pulls her phone out. Sitting down on the arm of the couch she answers with a cautious, "Hey."
"Hey yourself."
Melissa's tone sounds friendly enough, but years of knowing this woman intimately alerts Gabby to a slight strain in her voice that most might miss. "Are you alright?"
"I'm alright." Melissa says, hesitating as if she's uncertain about continuing. "I'm worried about Jane."
Gabby lets out a little sigh, gets up off the arm of the couch and walks back over to the box of photographs. Glancing downwards she says, "Me too. I'm at yours at the moment picking up Charlie like you asked. All the framed photographs with Rachael in 'em have been smashed. You know about that?"
Melissa's silence is telling.
"I thought she was staying with you for a few hours tonight? What happened?"
"I dunno, Gabs. I think the stress she's under is taking a toll. Rachael showing up at work today sure isn't helping."
"Yeah, I heard about that. Repeatedly." Gabby walks through the house, until she reaches the kitchen window. Looking out at the back garden she asks, "So what exactly do you want me to do about it?"
"She said she needs a meeting, but I'm not sure she's gonna go to one. Can you just hang around and make sure she's alright when she gets home? Please."
There's clear desperation in Melissa's voice and Gabby knows her ex wouldn't be asking if it wasn't important. She sucks in a deep breath and heads back into the living room, where she scratches behind Charlie's ear and peers down the hall towards the front door. "Don't you think Maura would be a better option?"
"She doesn't know Rachael. You do."
Gabby runs her free hand through her hair and shakes her head, grateful that Melissa can't see her. She'd already agreed with Maura to let her talk to Jane about all the Rachael stuff, but at the same time, she's never really been able to say no to Melissa. Especially in the wake of everything that's happened. She may not have been very verbal in the lead up to Alex's funeral, but she remembers flashes of Melissa being there and taking care of her when Maura was at work. She owes her. "I'll try my best, can't make any promises. You know how she can be."
It's a sad little laugh that follows. "Yeah, I do. She should be home soon."
"Alright." Gabby says intending to end the call and send Maura a quick text to explain the delay, but she hesitates. "Are you sure you're okay? Given the uhh… unexpectedly alive revelation?"
"It's a lot to take in, but she hasn't even tried to see me. So I'm not sure it really changes anything."
Gabby shuffles her feet, feeling a little uncomfortable because she can read right through Melissa. She knows when her ex is lying. She's terrible at it. "You finally come to terms with the fact you were in love with her and now she's alive and working in this city, with your new girlfriend. That isn't messing with your head?"
Melissa ignores the question, instead proffering one of her own. "Has she stopped by to see you yet?"
"No." Gabby says, feeling conflicted. A huge part of her remains angry to this day that her best friend was sleeping with her girlfriend behind her back, but that same woman did save her life not long ago. "She's smarter than that. She knows I'd deck her."
"She saved your life." Melissa counters quietly, leaving Gabby wondering if that act has somehow lessened the impact of the way Rachael just let them all think she was dead.
"She ruined it."
Melissa really doesn't have anything to say to that and it doesn't surprise Gabby at all. Her ex is smart enough to know when it's not a good time to make further comment. This is one of those times. "I'm gonna call Maura real quick before Jane gets here. Goodnight Missy."
Gabby doesn't wait to hear Melissa's goodbye, she ends the call immediately and calls Maura, even as she eyes the front door, half expecting Jane to walk in at any moment. She greets Maura warmly and explains, "Missy called, apparently Jane is not in a good mental place. She's asked me to talk to her, so I might be a while."
"Alright, well I'm going to go pick Kelly up from the motel apartment and bring her up here. I'll see you when you get home, love."
Gabby turns away from the door and paces back into the dining room, feeling her anxiety heighten. "Can you wait 'til I get back? We'll go get her together."
"I'm not leaving her down there alone, Gabrielle." Maura sounds perturbed.
Gabby lets out a heavy breath and shakes her head. "Alright I'll come back home and we can go get her, then I'll worry about Jane. I'm not leaving you alone on these streets with him out there, Maura."
"You will do no such thing. We are not bowing down to this psychopath's fear mongering. I will be vigilant and I will let you know when we're home."
Gabby's free hand balls into a fist and she bites down onto it so as to avoid an expletive laden retort about Maura's stubbornness, because she knows all that will do is piss her girlfriend off. Because the truth of the matter is, as stubborn as she can be, Maura, when she digs her heels in on a subject, is an immovable object. "Fine," she huffs, "Just please be careful."
"I promise, love." Maura's voice is soothing, as if she understands the distress she's causing her girlfriend.
The sound of a key in the door draws Gabby's attention as Charlie goes flying down the hall, apparently just as excited at Jane's return as he was to see her.
Traitor.
She follows him toward the front door and says, "Jane's home. Be safe."
"I will. See you when you get home."
Gabby ends the call and pockets her phone, she calls Charlie back to her side and he obeys. She watches Jane as she steps into the hall, closing the door behind her. When she turns back towards the inside of the house and lifts her eyes she lets out an exasperated sounding sigh.
"Missy called you, didn't she?"
"She's worried about you." Gabby says as Jane makes her way down the hall, joining her in the living room. "For that matter, I am too. I've fielded a few calls from our colleagues."
Jane sighs heavily, shakes her head and drops down onto the couch. There's a resigned look on her face, which Gabby attributes to a recognition that she sure as Hell ain't leaving until they've talked. Jane motions towards the armchair, "Well you may as well take a seat then huh?"
Gabby sits down and waves her hand in the direction of the box of photo frames. "That your handy work over there?"
She watches as Jane stares at the box for a solid few seconds before flicking her gaze back in her direction. "Yeah."
"This about Rachael?" Gabby asks, despite suspecting there's a lot more going on than her unexpected resurrection. Or Jane really is cracking due to stress like Maura suggested. It just doesn't feel like the Jane she's known thus far.
Jane levels her with a look of incredulity that's quite expressive and if she's honest with herself, quite impressive. "Of course it's about her," Jane snaps. "Her existence is putting a giant fucking strain on my relationship and now she weasels her way onto my case? Fuck her!"
Gabby's eyes grow big at the venom in Jane's voice. "My understanding is Maura took care of the biggest issue by telling Missy she's alive. Why do you hate her more than I do? I'm the person she's wronged the most in this life."
There's a brief flash of something in Jane's eyes but she looks away, working her jaw. Gabby eyes her suspiciously, "What's going on?"
Jane waves her off as if it's insignificant, not that Gabby is buying it for a second. "You warned me she's coming for Missy, why are you surprised?"
"I warned you so you'd be prepared. Not so you'd go around acting like a complete ning-nong!"
Jane gets all huffy, "I'm not a fuckin' fool, Gabby. I see it in her eyes, she's absolutely here for Missy and she's flaunting it in my face, taunting me every opportunity she gets. I swear to God, I have no idea what any of you ever saw in that woman!"
Gabby sighs and leans back into the armchair. She studies Jane quietly, not sure what to say, because the woman Jane is describing isn't the woman she knew. But then again, how well did she really know her former best friend? She never thought she was capable of betraying the bond of their friendship, but she did, in the worst of ways.
Jane stands up and starts pacing around, Gabby's eyes follow her as she moves. Eventually Jane stops and turns back to face Gabby and in a surprisingly quiet voice says, "We've both been through so much to find our way back to one another, I can't lose her to that woman, Gabby. I just can't."
Gabby rubs her hands through her hair before burying her mouth in both hands and shaking her head. It still feels like there's more going on than Jane is letting on, but there's no doubting the sincerity staring back at her from dark, soulful, broken eyes. "You won't."
Jane shakes her head, "For all we know she's still deep in it with her and it's just going to take seeing her to bring it all flooding back. It wasn't that long ago that she finally came to terms with her feelings for her back then. What if they're still there?"
"What if they are?" Gabby snaps back, a little tired of the woe is me attitude. All it will do is turn into a self fulfilling prophecy if she keeps it up. Jane's right that she and Melissa have been through so much and given up so much to find their way back to one another. She really doesn't want to see them blow it when they are so close to their happily ever after. She leans into a brutal truth though, "What if it isn't you, Jane? What if it has been and always will be Rachael? Are you really the sort of person who would deny her, her miraculous second chance?"
Jane's eyes burn dangerously, so much so that if she wasn't already sitting down she might just want to turn tail and run. In all of her time being a damn near mortal enemy of this woman, she has never seen anything as dangerous as what she's looking at right now. It causes her to swallow nervously.
Jane's up on her feet, jabbing an index finger in her direction as she grinds out between her teeth, "I will die before I ever fucking let that happen. Do you hear me?"
Loud and bloody clear, actually.
Gabby springs to her feet and puffs her chest out, not one to back down. A small voice in the back of her mind is telling her that this is probably not what Melissa meant when she asked for her help, but it is ignored. "Then you need to get over yourself and start trusting Missy, because all this huffing about tells me you don't. She fucking loves you Jane. She practically worships you." Her arm swings wildly as she turns her body and throws it in the rough direction of St Luke's, "She's sitting in that prison of her own creation. For you. Worrying. About. You."
Gabby half expects Jane to throw a punch, her eyes are that wild, but instead she just folds in on herself and collapses back down onto the couch. "I know there's stuff you're not telling me and maybe I don't need to know. But what I do know is that you need to get your shit together. Go to a meeting. Call your sponsor. Call your therapist. Talk to Maura. Talk to me. Talk to a wall for all I care, just get your shit together. Because she deserves your best, Jane. She needs it."
Jane looks at her with such broken eyes, that it sucks all the air out of her lungs. "I know."
Gabby realises looking at Jane is like looking in a mirror and she doesn't feel so preachy anymore. Who is she to be telling Jane how to react emotionally, given her choices of late? "I'm sorry, I uh, I shouldn't have… I'm gonna go."
"Don't," Jane says quietly in response, looking up at her with imploring eyes. "I'm not okay."
Naturally Melissa is spot on. She most certainly can't leave now, no matter how uncomfortable it's starting to feel. By confronting Jane she is forcing herself to confront her own feelings. She's been putting on a show of normalcy for Maura because it is so obvious she needs it, so she's trying to be measured and bouncy and her old self. The self she honestly hasn't been since she was last with Maura. She's even managed to do a good job of it, for an entire hour or two this evening, but it's exhausting.
"I guess that makes two of us then," Gabby decides to admit. It might just be time to face the fact that there's only one other person in the world right now that can even begin to understand what she is feeling and she's sitting right in front of her. "Maura, she uh, well…"
"She told you she loves you last night." Jane finishes, clearly taking pity on her woeful attempt to express herself.
"Yeah." Gabby stares at the arm of the chair she's sitting in and picks at it with her index finger. Her soul feels heavy. She hasn't managed to tell Maura about this yet. "And every time I've closed my eyes since, I'm stuck reliving that day. But it's no longer Alex in my arms."
"Jesus," Jane utters, but it's apparent she's remembering the scene she walked in on and is right back there herself. "I thought you were gonna eat your gun that day."
"Yeah." Gabby doesn't know what else to say, because the thought crossed her mind. It was the lowest point of her life, right up until she confronted Bertie knowing how it would end. Or maybe this afternoon when Maura felt the need to verbally eviscerate her to get her point across was her lowest point. It's hard to tell. There are so many to choose from. "I'm lucky you were there."
Jane's head drops as she puts her hand down beside the couch to let Charlie lick her hand. He clearly senses the sadness in the room, because after licking her hand he walks over to Gabby and lays down at her feet, placing his head on his paws.
A text from Maura comes through and Gabby breathes a sigh of relief when she reads that she and Kelly are safe and sound at home. She looks up at Jane and says, "Kelly is staying with us until she goes home."
"You're okay with that?" Jane probes.
"It's Maura's house. I don't think it matters how I feel on the subject."
Jane nods once and makes a noise that sounds a bit like a grunt of acknowledgement, but it is so quiet Gabby's not sure she heard correctly. She feels the need to clarify, "It's not the time for petty rivalries."
"Agreed."
The pair fall into a silence that isn't quite comfortable, but isn't exactly awkward either. Gabby keeps focusing on her picking at the arm of the chair, not really sure what else to say. Deep and meaningful with Jane is usually short and sweet. This conversation has been direct and honest for much longer than normal. It's taking a little getting used to.
Jane eventually breaks the silence when she says, "I don't think they truly comprehend the weight we carry on our shoulders."
No truer words have been spoken as far as Gabby is concerned, but she's glad that Maura has this brazen confidence to just live her life, even if it does give her fits. As far as she's concerned it's her job to find a way to keep her safe even as she goes about living her life like nothing out of the ordinary is happening. That includes keeping Maura clear of the impact it's having on her own mental health. "I think it's our job to protect 'em from the worst of it and I don't just mean him. I mean us too. The worst of us."
Jane appears to study her for a long time and Gabby isn't at all sure what she's thinking. Finally Jane says, "Yeah you're right, but how do we do that? Missy reads me like a book and you've got to deal with an actual genius."
Gabby chuckles, it's a legitimate observation but Jane's delivery tickles her funny bone. With a shake of her head and a wry smile she says, "Don't remind me. That woman is something else. Did you know she can eviscerate a person with her words alone?"
Jane winces in an exaggerated manner and says, "Do not miss that. At all." Her face quickly sobers up though and she levels Gabby with a concerned look, "Seriously though, what did you do?"
Gabby sighs, scratches her scalp and says, "Nightmares did my head in, but instead of telling her about them I went on a completely useless self loathing tirade." She watches as Jane's eyes flash with worry and quickly holds her hands up because she can read Jane's mind in this moment. "I didn't touch her. I just had a meltdown and that's why I'm saying we need to protect them from the worst of us. I guess, I mean me. I need to protect her from me."
Clearly placated by the truth Jane says, "It's not just you. I've taken this shit out on Maura too, and with Missy, I just turn into a blubbering mess. It's embarrassing and leads to moments like this, where I'm spilling my guts to you, cause my girlfriend is worried about me."
"At least I can tell her we really talked. It should put her mind at ease."
"Yeah, thanks for that. Really, thanks for giving a damn. You didn't have to take her call, let alone wait for me to get home."
Gabby shrugs. "Yeah well, you're our best shot at ending this without any more loss. I'm gonna do anything I can to keep you at your best."
Jane stands up. "And you're her best shot at happiness, so ditto."
Gabby finds herself staring at Jane for longer than is comfortable, shocked by the words that just so casually fell out of her mouth. "So you're not bothered that we're together?"
"Pfft, I'm relieved."
Gabby's pretty sure that's just because she knows if she fucks up and hurts Maura, they'll never find her body. Jane will see to that. "So um, it's agreed then, while shit's so hectic, we uh…" she stands up so that she's face to face with Jane and attempts to stumble through the rest of her thought. "We're uh friends that uh, reach out when we uh, need to uh…"
"Protect them from ourselves?" Jane finishes with a cocky smirk, as if she's making fun of the absolute awkwardness of Gabby's delivery.
Gabby rolls her eyes. Jane then brings her arms up and out like she's moving in for a hug, which leaves Gabby feeling like a deer in headlights. They don't hug now do they? At the last second Jane baulks, chuckles and smacks her lightly on the shoulder. "You should have seen the look on your face."
"Don't do that again!" Gabby breathes out, still a little freaked out.
Jane just laughs as she walks into the dining room. Gabby watches as she grabs the door frame and peeks her head back into the room, "So you want a non alcoholic beer?"
Gabby blinks a couple of times and her face screws up in disgust, then with consideration to Jane's situation and her liver, which conveniently starts throbbing, she shrugs and says, "Yeah, why not."
A/N: Here's the latest installment. I firstly want to address some of the guest comments. No it is not hard to write. The reason I don't update more often is because I don't get paid to write, I get a lot of awful comments from people who don't seem to understand this is a soap opera and I spend my time dealing with anxiety and depression. The same character flaws Missy has (obviously without the soap sensationalism of outrageous behaviour) and have to sit here reading comment after comment by people calling her a sick psycho or what have you, all because she has mental health issues. It's a little tiring to be honest. Though I accept people are gonna feel the way they feel. It's just why I don't try to write more than a chapter a month at the moment. I love this story. I love the rich character histories and the interwoven tapestry of their connections. Trust me when I tell you I am not at all struggling to write this.
If you really don't like the journey, may I suggest you wait until it's complete, skip to the rizzles bits, enjoy that and in the mean time let me enjoy telling my complicated, dramatic, soap opera.
For those readers that I know are on this journey with me for the long haul and are considered and thoughtful and appreciative of the effort that goes into this, and for those readers that decide it isn't their cup of tea but say nothing, thank you. I appreciate all of you more than you know.
That being said, it's been an absolutely horrible month, I lost someone close to me and I need a little joy. So do you think for this one chapter we can try that? All of us? Bring a little joy in? Thank you.
