Risk: Chapter Twenty-Five
The clock was slowly ticking as the expedition to retake Wall Maria grew closer. It was becoming more and more difficult to sleep, her dreams turning into nightmares of her friends getting eaten by titans, getting killed by the Armored Titan and the Colossal Titan, of them never coming home.
She still remained as chipper as ever, and Hange even said that she seemed like a little light amidst the impending darkness. That seemed to make her feel a little better, she felt like she was serving some type of purpose.
She had stayed late at the Squad Levi headquarters, insisting on cleaning the kitchen for them. The younger Scouts took that as an opportunity to continue their prep work outside, and by the time they'd come in and proceeded to wash up for bed, Rose was still washing dishes.
"Are you staying the night?" Levi asked, startling her. "Didn't mean to do that."
"It's just been so quiet for past… wait, what time is it?" Rose scanned around for a clock, placing the sponge in her hand in the sink and proceeding to wash her hands.
"It's almost midnight. Go to bed."
"Is Hange here?" she dared to ask, knowing the answer already.
She had stayed the night in Levi's office countless times; but she hadn't done so since she'd admitted to herself that she was in love with him – well, herself as well as Lily. It just felt like a risk to her heart to stay the night here, or to be close to him in any aspect.
It was like one risking themselves drowning and taking the leap anyway.
"What do you think?" he countered with a sigh. "Just come to bed, Rosemary. You look tired."
Reluctantly, she followed after him to his office, sitting on the bed so she could take off her shoes, not looking up at him at all.
"I'm curious," he began, having a pulled his desk chair in front of his desk and sat upon it, leaning back casually. "Since Jake is moving –"
"Please, for the love of God, do not mention him." Rose sat up then, eyes meeting his, her gaze undoubtedly hardened.
"I thought he was your friend."
"He is, it's just –" She paused, looked to the ceiling for answers, and when she couldn't find them, she returned her blue gaze to meet his eyes again. "Everyone asks me about him. And he's great and all, but I'm so sick of everyone assuming we're a couple. Or going to be a couple. And then asking about –" She shook her head. "Can we not talk about this? It's late."
Levi's narrowed a bit, then he finally said, "I knew it."
Rose's eyebrows raised in confusion. "Knew… what?"
"You've been putting on this happy-go-lucky visage for days, but I wasn't buying it. What's going on?"
A part of her was relieved. So this wasn't really about Jake at all, he was just trying to strike a nerve to get her defenses down.
"I… I just don't want you all to see me scared." When he didn't say anything, she added, "Scared of missing you all when you're gone. Scared of who is going to come back – and who isn't. I just… worry about it. I'm not really sleeping because I'm having these awful nightmares of… of you guys dying in these awful ways, and…"
She was crying. She only knew it because she felt a tear fall from the bottom of her chin and onto her arm. Quickly, she wiped at her face, trying not to appear as pathetic as she unfortunately felt right now.
She felt a weight pull beside her – not like a portal, but like it was pushing the bed down. She looked up, seeing Levi by her side, expression soft as his normally icy grey eyes gazed into hers.
"You don't have to pretend to be brave for our sake," he said in a low voice. "We want you to be your true self, right up until the end."
"I don't want there to be an 'end' at all," she said, trying her best not to start sobbing but instead to calm down. "I want you to come home."
"Quit worrying about the future, Rosemary," he advised, a hand reaching up to brush a stray hair from her wet face. "That's not going to do you any good."
She had no retort to that. The only thing she was becoming mildly aware of was the fact they were mere centimeters apart. And she could have sworn they were leaning closer to together.
Levi seemed to hesitate, however, and reclined back, then stood up and went back to his desk, as if nothing had happened. Rose blinked, wiping her face of the remaining tears that were drying there, trying to assess what just happened.
Were they about to kiss? Should she ask him? But he was suddenly enthralled in his work, and she didn't want to interrupt him. With a small sigh, she curled under the blanket, closing her eyes and forcing herself to try and go to sleep. It was rather difficult, however, with thoughts of kissing Captains on her mind.
Hange didn't have anything for to do the next day. Instead, they were training alongside Levi and strategizing.
Rose opted to stay inside the headquarters and do her writing assignment. She had plenty of time to do so, pretty much all day, and she didn't need to be on the field wielding a sword or working with those giant spears that Hange had developed.
She had gotten quite into the assignment, as she hadn't even noticed anyone looming near the window. She only realized it when she saw their shadow cast across the kitchen. She glanced back at the window, only to see someone – a man, a very burly one, though she couldn't make out much more than that – peering right back at her.
Eyes widening, she found herself screaming in fright, rushing to the front door. The shadow disappeared, seeming to go toward that direction. She thankfully made it there first, pushing the lock closed then pressing herself against it, continuing to scream. She wasn't doing it out of fear at this point, but moreso in the hopes that someone would hear her and come rushing to scare this creep off.
It seemed to have worked, as she heard people yelling from yonder, their yells getting quickly louder. The banging and rattling of the door stopped, and she watched as she shadow of the man flashed the opposite direction – toward the back door. Quickly unlocking the front door to allow everyone inside when they arrived, she fled to the other door, just as it swung open.
The large man stepped through the threshold, slowly, as if he was trying not to scare her further. "Rosemary, it's okay."
"Get out!" she yelled, just as she heard the front door crash open. "Leave!"
"It's okay, it's just me –" The man didn't have much of a chance to say much else, as Levi came storming in, rushing to Rose's side, then past her to readily kick the intruder. The man fell the floor, holding his stomach in agony, wincing. "Damn—"
"You heard the lady," Levi said in a level voice, laced with anger. "Get the hell out."
"Wait –" It was Lily coming before the small throng of Scouts. "He… he looks like my dad, Rose."
"Uh, what?" Upon assessing the man further, and trying to file through the memories Rose had been given by Lily, it would seem that, yes – this man did appear just like their father. "Oh."
"Can someone give me an explanation as to who this is before I beat the shit out of him," Levi said threateningly – not to the girls, of course, but aiming his words toward the man on the floor, who still writhed in pain.
How hard had Levi kicked the guy?
"I think," Lily began, bending down to the man's level, "this is our Uncle Joseph."
After getting the man an ice pack for his throbbing abdomen, and giving him time to recoup from being pummeled like that, Uncle Joseph Simpson finally opened up on why he was there.
"We're not going to do that," Rose said, brows knit together, expression a little angry.
"That sounds dangerous," Lily added, looking to Rose. "Won't that kill her?"
"That's just it," Joseph began, sounding enthusiastic. "There's a way to go about this without anyone losing their life."
Joseph was suggesting the girls do some type of "ritual" that would bring back their actual father. He said that with their newfound abilities, they should have been able to do so this entire time without any issues.
"Do you care to explain how to go about that?" Hange insisted, standing near the doorway, leaning against it. "We've only heard that bringing back the dead will kill the oldest twin – in this case, Rose."
"That's just if you bring back just anyone. But you'd be bringing back someone who had the 'Heart of Titan' abilities. It would be a much different story. It would be like reversing time." He added quickly, as if to drive home his point, "That's something you do, right? Leap through time? Have you learned to control it, yet?"
"… No, not yet," Rose answered hesitantly. She didn't know why, but she was getting a bad feeling about all this.
Lily looked hopeful though; this was probably the happiest Rose had seen her sister in a long time. "And if we bring dad back, what happens to us? To our abilities?"
"That I don't know," he admitted.
"So this is just a gamble," Levi said, and as Rose looked at him, he appeared both annoyed and angry by Joseph's presence. He didn't seem to be buying any of this, either.
"Don't you want to meet your dad, Rosemary?"
For some reason, when anyone other than Levi called her Rosemary, she didn't like it. Nathan called her that, now Joseph. It filled her with the 'ick'. "Rose," she corrected for him. Then, "I do, but I don't think this is the right way to go about doing it. I think… I think this is a bad idea."
"Are you worried about the risk?" he probed, moving his hands toward hers as if he were about to grasp them; she quickly took her hands off the table. He ignored that. "Because I can probably assure you, that you'll be fine."
"Probably?" Levi repeated. "Okay, I think we're done here."
Joseph glanced around the room, noticing the slightly angered faces, then nodded with a soft, sad smile. "I get it. That's fine." He moved from the table he'd been sitting at across from the twins and walked toward the front door, but not before turning his head a bit to say to the girls, "Just think on what I said today."
And then he had left.
Once he was gone for several minutes, Sasha was the first to say what they were all thinking: "Is it me, or is that guy a little crazy?"
Muttering in agreeance, everyone dispersed, leaving the three older Scouts – Hange, Levi and Lily – and Rose alone in the dining room.
"Did you believe him?" Lily asked, standing up to leave herself.
"No," Rose admitted, not seeming to move a muscle. "I'm sorry, Lily."
The taller twin shrugged. "Maybe it's for the best. If we brought him back after all this time, who's to say he'll be the same dad that loved me and my mom all those years ago?" She waved good-bye to them, now just the three of them in the room.
"I'll be outside. Come on out when you're ready, Rose," Hange said, exiting the headquarters.
Then there were two.
Levi sat in a chair beside Rose, not reaching for her hand, no moves for comfort whatsoever. That didn't seem to be his style, anyway.
"What are you thinking?" he asked her.
"I was about to ask you that," she said with a dry chuckle. "I just… wondered about this give and take thing. And how we can take entire lives and essentially not face any consequences but giving a life…"
"There's always a consequence to every action, Rosemary."
"I know – just not all of them are 'give-up-your-life' consequences." She sighed, standing up from her chair. "I better head out. I don't want to keep Hange waiting."
"You don't want to know what I'm thinking?" he asked.
"I… I do," she said, face brightening pink a bit.
"I'm thinking that your uncle is full of bullshit. And that you should be careful around him." As he said this, his voice had grown soft, as it only seemed to do with her. "Goodnight, Rosemary."
She couldn't help but smile at his concern. "Goodnight, Levi."
