Risk: Chapter Twenty-Six
Rose was tending to Lacy when a few of the younger Scouts came in with their horses, having just got back from training. She waved to them, smiling softly, and returned to brushing Lacy's mane.
"Rose," Connie began, coming toward her tentatively as if he was suddenly too shy to speak to her.
"Yes, Connie?" she inquired, not looking away from her work.
"What is it about this whole… time traveling thing that you don't like?"
Now Levi, Hange and Lily had joined them in the stables, just having heard Connie's question. Levi didn't seem to like Connie's prying. "That's none of your business."
"Yes, sir—"
"It's okay, Levi," Rose reassured him, stopping her task, petting Lacy once before she answered. "The aging."
That seemed to stun everyone; that certainly wasn't the answer they were anticipating.
"Wait – you don't age?" Sasha asked, eyes wide in disbelief.
"No, I do, Sasha, and that's kind of the problem. See," Rose went on, kicking at nothing, "When I'm here, days and sometimes weeks will pass by, but when I go back home it's been an hour. Then weeks will pass by there, but when I come back here it's been less than a day." She sighed. "So for me it's been several months of different timelines, but for everyone else I don't think it's been more than a couple of months, if that."
"So you're aging… faster," Armin said, not as a question but as a conclusion.
"I don't know. I'm only nineteen, so I can't tell if I'm developing wrinkles or grey hairs just yet. But… that's what it seems like? It's confusing." She pet Lacy one more time before moving through the small crowd of Scouts to the exit of the stables, not really wanting to talk about it anymore. "I'll get started on dinner." She had nightmares sometimes about being a grandma while everyone else remained the same age, and it truly terrified her.
It was irrational, yes, but a real fear of hers nonetheless.
A short time later, as she was prepping the food, Levi had come to join her, first washing his hands before touching the cleansed food.
"I don't think you're aging faster than everyone else," he told her.
She smiled at that. "Are you a time traveling expert?"
"Obviously not," he muttered, and she could just hear his eye roll. "I just think Father Time has better things to do than to age you into dust before the rest of us reach middle age."
She chuckled. "Well, good to know I'm not on Father Time's shit-list."
After making the meal, Levi started on his tea, boiling the water and then pouring it over the tea leaves. Rose had to admit, it always smelled nice when he made it – but she couldn't stand the taste. She didn't understand how he tolerated it.
"Hey, get in here, dinner's ready," Levi called from the front door, and soon the dining room was filled with young Scouts and Hange.
Rose served everyone's plate, even Levi's, knowing full-and-well he wouldn't eat it – at least, not in front of them. There was quite a bit of chatter, and for that Rose was grateful; it felt mildly normal, considering what was coming up in a few weeks. That still loomed heavy in her heart, and though Levi had said he wanted to see her true, authentic self "to the end", she couldn't bring herself to be that way.
She would be such a Debbie-downer, always sad and a little forlorn.
The younger Scouts were tasked with cleaning the kitchen and dining room that night. Though Rose wanted to use any excuse to stay late, she knew that they needed as much rest as possible for the impending expedition. Tomorrow was a prep day for them, so it was a short respite, but they still had to take the day seriously, all the same.
Once in her bedroom and in her pajamas, Rose was about to head to bed when she felt it.
Oh, not right now –
She wasn't about to leave, not now. She didn't want to miss a single day with them – which is what would happen if she'd leapt through the portal.
Instead, she searched for something that she could push through – and then she found it. Jake's jacket. She'd brought it back with her one of the last times she'd come back through, and though she had promised Levi they would burn it, he could forgive her for doing this instead – hopefully. She tossed the jacket through, hoping and praying that would be enough. She heaved a heavy sigh when it disappeared, the pull from before gone, releasing its hold on her like she'd been tethered to a bit of anti-gravity.
"Rose?" Hange called through the door. "Are you still there?"
"Yes," she breathed, going to open the door for them. "Can you feel it? When it comes?"
"Yeah, I'm practically yanked out of my seat. I don't know how you don't go flying around."
How did it have such a different effect on different people? So strange.
"Why are you still here, though?" Hange asked, stepping inside the room and looking around, as if the portal would show back up at their presence.
"I… I can make it disappear if I just toss something through it. It's like it needs some type of matter. Like, you know, a give-and-take."
"Like the 'Heart of Titan'," Hange said with a solemn nod. "Interesting." They rushed to the door then, as if they had just made the biggest discovery.
"Are you going to go write that down?"
"You bet!"
Someone was shaking her awake, and she groaned, swatting them away, proceeding to turn her head to the other side of the bed.
"You can't just sleep the day away," she heard Levi's voice say, and though there was that tinge of authority in it, it was still gentle.
Always with her, his voice was sweet and soft, she noticed. She wondered if anyone else noticed that?
Like a child about to see Santa on Christmas morning, Rose found herself pushing from the bed and to her feet, stumbling a bit as she was still a little bleary. Levi caught hold of her, a hand around the top of her arm, helping her to straighten up.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, rubbing at her eyes, as if trying to ensure what she was seeing and hearing was real.
"Hange had to leave early and put me on alarm duty. Now get dressed."
"Where is everybody else?" she asked, her face tinging with pink. They were prepping, she knew, but she wanted him to confirm it.
"Some of them went to their respective towns to help with recon, others are at camp." Levi glanced back at her, something knowing in his eyes. "Why?"
"N-no reason," she stated, looking to the ground instead of at him.
"You've been acting strangely again," he commented, facing her, arms crossed.
"It's nothing," she responded, going to her wardrobe and rifling through it for clothes to wear for the day. "Just a little distracted is all.
"Is that so?" Then he added, almost absently, "You might want to wear that jacket of your 'friend's' or something. It's a little brisk out today."
She felt her face heat up at the mention of Jake – both in chagrin but also in agitation – as she admitted to him, "Well, it's too bad I used that thing to send a portal away last night."
"You what?" he asked, his voice laced with disbelief.
"Yeah," she said, laying out her outfit for the day onto the bed. "I needed something to give to the portal, so I just… used the jacket." She shrugged. "It's no big deal, it's just some jacket, you know?"
"Yeah, of the boy you like, right?"
"Is that what everyone thinks?" she retorted, standing straight up, hands now on her hips. "Because – it's not him. And I wish people would stop assuming it's him just because he's some – some guy I'm talking to." She gave a little groan as she proceeded to approach Levi, shoving him toward the door. "Now, get out, I have to get dressed, remember."
"Yes, ma'am," he said sarcastically, though there was something about his voice that sounded different. Rose couldn't put a finger on it though.
Once she was alone, she quickly changed clothes and then exited the room, joining Levi and the foyer. "Alright, I'm ready to go."
"Apparently," he muttered, leading the way to the front door. "I'm assuming you want to see Hange?"
"Actually… I wanted to spend time with you today, if that's okay."
His hand stopped on the doorknob, looking over his shoulder to gaze at her. "Is that so?" He shrugged. "Fine, I'm not doing anything special. Just running errands."
"Th-that's fine with me! I can help with that."
So that was how they spent their afternoon – Rose carrying a grocery basket while Levi filled it with food for his Squad. It was a slow-going afternoon, but for Rose, the time spent with him meant more to her than anything. Though, she would never tell him that.
