Risk: Chapter Forty
It was a few days later when it started to happen: the chest pains. It was little pangs at first, every once and awhile, and Rose boiled it down to heart burn or something. She didn't pay it much mind, and figured she would opt to get something like Tums to alleviate the symptoms when she went back to her world. However, as time progressed, it only got more intense, little by little, and would prove itself to be something far more serious.
"You're going home?" Hange asked, watching her pick up clothes scattered around the borrowed bedroom.
"Yep, there's still some things I need to take care of before I make the big move," Rose answered, which wasn't entirely a lie. She did need to sort through some boxes and pack her carry-on before she hopped on a plane to travel a thousand miles from her home.
Hange watched her carefully as she shuffled around the room, and Rose felt herself growing nervous under their scrutinized gaze. They could definitely read through her, Rose knew that, but she didn't want to worry anyone with the truth. Not yet, not until she knew the truth.
Finally, she finished her task and stood up straight, going to the floor length mirror and opening a portal through it. "I'll be back soon, okay?"
"Okay…" Hange gave her a sidelong glance but waved good-bye nonetheless, watching as Rose vanished from one timeline into her own.
The movers would be here tomorrow to get all the boxes, and another would be here to ship her car to Rosemont, Illinois. She already bought her plane ticket, and would be beating all her belongings there, so she wouldn't have a means of transportation or even so much as her clothes other than what was in her small carry-on. A small inconvenience, but she would deal.
Two days would be enough time to go to the hospital and get a quick check up, right?
At the general hospital, she walked in and explained her symptoms to the receptionist. Instantly, she was triaged in front of everyone else; considering the symptoms, they treated it as a serious heart condition, so they wanted to be safe rather than sorry. They started with an EKG, which they didn't reveal the results to her immediately – was that normal? Next they put her in a room and hooked her up to a couple machines – for blood pressure and a heart monitor.
"Hmm," the nurse taking care of her said as she placed the leads on her, watching the monitors turn on.
"What?" Rose inquired; she was in school for this stuff, but she was just now learning what any of this meant.
"It's probably nothing," she answered – probably? What did that mean? "The doctor will be with you shortly."
The doctor didn't seem to want to waste any time with her. He showed up twenty minutes later, telling her that her EKG came back slightly abnormal, which is sometimes not uncommon, but just to be safe he wanted to do a CT.
More imaging? That didn't seem like a good sign at all, but Rose didn't argue with anything the doctor said, just nodded, eyes going between him, the nurse behind him scribing, and the monitors she was hooked up to. When it was time for the CT, they wheeled her whole bed to the imaging room, then asked her to remove any jewelry before being put into the machine. Reluctantly, she unclasped her mothers' necklace and placed it in a small tin a nurse held out for her, then she lay down as instructed, waiting for the machine to do what it was supposed to, for it to be over.
It was an entire hour before the doctor returned to her, and between that time they took some blood from her – for what purpose, she wasn't sure.
Finally, the doctor returned, appearing stern rather than cheery like last time. "So, Miss Aer, it appears you might be in the start of heart failure."
Her ears rung a little at that news; what did he say? "Come again?" she managed to say.
"Heart failure. Your blood tests show some clotting, as did your imaging. It's not grave, by any means. Actually, we've caught it so early that starting you on an ACE inhibitor and a beta blocker now would probably just about cure the problem. But just so you know: you're going to have to be on these medications for the rest of your life."
"I see," she said simply, staring straight ahead, trying her best to process this information.
"Miss Aer, do you have a family history of heart disease? Or do you have a high-stress job that causes a lot of issues for you? Anything like that?"
She couldn't possibly begin to explain the type of life she led; of course it was stressful. And being able to travel between time periods was stressful in and of itself. Was that the thing that was causing her heart to fail? Was it something else entirely?
After some time – it couldn't have been more than a couple minutes – she answered, "I don't know anything about my family. I was adopted. And as far as my job… I'm a waitress – was. I quit. But it was fine."
"I understand. Well, we'll have to boil this down to being familial, then," he said, standing up from his stool. "I'll send in those prescriptions, and I suggest you start them immediately. My nurse here will get your discharge paperwork ready. You can get dressed now." And he left – left her alone with her thoughts.
She mechanically put on her street clothes, folding the hospital gown she'd been wearing the past couple hours.
Heart failure. But it was caught early. However, she had to take medicine. How would she hide that? She didn't want anyone she knew discovering she was taking medication, or that she was, as of now, chronically ill. She would feel like she was letting people down – she was just starting to help with the titan problem, she didn't want to be down for the count already.
Once Rose was released from the hospital, she went straight to the pharmacy and picked up the prescriptions. She didn't take them, though, until she got home, and once she did, she put them in her small knapsack so she wouldn't forget them when she went back to Paradi.
It wasn't until she was settled in Rosemont that she decided it was high time to go see her other loved ones again. She opened a portal to Levi's office and stepped through, knapsack on her back, having already taken her medications for the day – she at least for the today she wouldn't have to worry about getting caught.
Levi was in his chair, whittling, when she arrived, and there was something about him doing something so mundane that made her heart so happy.
"You're a little late."
"It couldn't have been more than a couple days," she countered, placing her knapsack on the bed and sitting upon the edge of it, expression worried. Had she been gone too long?
"It hasn't, but two days is a long time to go without training." He stopped his task to look up at her through the fringe of his hair. "How's your new home?"
"I… love it," she admitted to him. "It's so quiet. When you get the chance, I want you… to come see it."
"Maybe later," he said, rather dismissively, which disheartened her a little but she tried not to let it get her down too much. "Change and let's get going – I know Hange's eager to get this started."
As the training went on, Rose realized that she didn't get as tired as easily. That had to be a good sign. However, once after a training session, she had coughed up blood while in the shower.
And of course, she didn't tell a soul.
Lily, she noticed, was watching her a little more closely, but not speaking to her as much. Like she was keeping a safe distance from her sister for some reason. Rose wanted to find out what was going on in her head – like how Lily could easily find out at any given moment what was going on in hers – but it never seemed like a good time.
Until today.
Lily was in the stables, cleaning up the stalls and taking care of the horses, and Rose used this as the perfect opportunity to speak with her.
She entered the stables, standing just before the entrance, and, not approaching her, she asked, "Is there something you want to say to me?"
Lily didn't say anything at first, just continued scooping at the ground. Then, at last, she said, "What are the pills for?"
So Lily had been in her head at a time when she'd taken her medicine. Damn. "It's… a long story."
"Are you going to tell anyone that story?" Lily quipped, stopping her task to glare at her sister.
Rose flushed under her familiar blue gaze, averting her eyes to Lacy, who was grazing on some hay near her stall. "I… don't think it's necessary."
"You don't think it's necessary to tell people that you're taking medicine for something?" Lily sounded openly annoyed now.
"Lily, I just don't want to let anyone down –"
"And if something happens to you, and no one knows why, you do just that, huh?"
Rose sighed. "I… I guess you're – " She didn't know if it was the stress of the situation, or her day of training – or a combination of both – but she started to erratically cough, keeling over, holding her stomach as it did cause her great discomfort.
"Rose –" Lily dropped her shovel and came over to Rose, not touching her, but kneeling beside her all the same. "Is that blood? I'm getting the Captain –"
"Lily, please –" But her sister was already gone, rushing into the house to get Levi. Rose wanted to think up a scenario – any logical reason – why she was coughing up blood today of all days. However, she couldn't think up anything clever.
"Rosemary," she heard Levi call. Soon, he was by her side, grabbing hold of her hand, stained in red. "What's going on?"
"I…" Rose didn't know where to begin, and she felt that if she admitted the truth now, then that would be confessing to the fact she was pretty much lying to him this whole time. "I'm sorry, I just – "
"Sorry for what?" he demanded. He forced her to her feet then. "Let's get inside. Come on."
He guided her to the bathroom, where he turned on the faucet and started washing her hand, then used a cloth to wipe her face, not pushing her any further – for the moment. She was grateful for that. However, once they were in the privacy of his office, he faced her with a serious expression, silently demanding answers.
"I… Levi, my heart's failing." She let the words hang in the air for a moment, then continued. "I've been having these awful chest pains, and so I went to the hospital. They discovered that I have clotting, so I… have to take medicine to alleviate it and keep it from happening." She rubbed her arm nervously. "They think it's either familial or… really bad stress."
He didn't speak, just watched her. He was visibly angry – at her? At the fact she was sick? At the fact he couldn't do anything to help her? At the fact she lied to him? She couldn't tell. She wanted to ask, but before she could, he said, "Are you dying, then?"
"No," she answered quickly. "That's what the medicine is for."
He didn't move from his spot, but didn't seem to put his guard up like he normally did in situations like these, where he would cross his arms and look elsewhere, just anywhere else in the room.
At long last, he said, "I don't like secrets."
"I'm sorry. I didn't… I didn't want to tell you because I… I felt like if I did, I would be somehow letting you down," she professed, her eyes tearing up.
"Dying would have let me down," he told her. He kept his gaze on hers, as if he was trying to convey through his eyes what he was trying to really say.
She wished she could read his mind.
"I'll… keep that in mind for next time."
