Risk – Chapter Forty-One
The next recon mission had come.
By this time, Rose had confessed to those who needed to know about her heart condition, and the fact that phasing in and out of portals and time traveling was more than likely causing the stress on her heart. However, she reassured everyone that with her medication she should be fine, and as long as she kept phasing down to a minimum – only when she needed to, and not creating giant portals like she did last time – she would be perfectly fine.
Like clockwork, Rose took her medication, and she did mildly better as far as her symptoms. No chest pains, the coughing up blood seemed to have ceased, the fatigue from before faded. She was feeling more like herself again, for which she was grateful.
She hated that coming to this conclusion was at the expense of lying to all those she cared about, but she did what she believed was best. And she was fine now – that's all that mattered, right?
Rose stood close to close to Jake as they were lowered onto the other side of the wall, her heart actually racing this time. Not because of the titans beyond, not because of the inevitable fighting – but because of the idea of failing again. She worked extra hard with her abilities to ensure that she was capable of handling herself out here again. Levi was hesitant to have her come back out with them, but with Hange's help and Rose's own insistence and pleas, he conceded to her.
Jake also wanted to help plead her case, but she felt that would have made things worse. She didn't know why, but when Jake was around, Rose could tell that Levi grew rather tense. Rose wanted to dive into his brain and ask why, however it never seemed like the right time.
Once everyone was settled on their horses, Jake took out a knife and slashed his hand, transforming from a man into his titan form, towering over Rose. She still watched, captivated, as he did so, finding it almost beautiful. Just like before, he bent down to allow her to climb onto him, and once she mounted his neck, hands clasped onto his hair and legs tight on him, Hange gave the orders to start formations, just like before.
Things were slow in the beginning: quite frankly, for over an hour, nothing happened. Green flares were shot over and over again into the air from different locations, to which the Squad seemed relieved.
"Are we going to be camping out here tonight, then, Captain?" Eren asked.
"We'll see," Levi answered, not facing anyone, just forward, focused.
Rose wondered what that meant for her? She didn't have any gear, just Jake, so if they were ambushed – she didn't want to think that way, didn't want to even ponder the worst right now. She just wanted concentrate on one thing at a time.
Sunset came, and still nothing. Hange ordered everyone to reconvene near an abandoned town nearby, to check gear and allow their horses to rest – as well as Jake, no doubt. Once they'd arrived at the meeting point, Rose dismounted, but stood nearby as Jake hunched down, also seeming to want to stay close to her. He huffed at her, as if to ask if she was alright. She smiled at him, her way of reassuring him that she was, indeed, just fine.
"I'm not even tired," she said to him in a hushed voice. "But I'm sure you are."
He made a very low noise and shook his long head once, answering her in a firm "no", it seemed. She was glad for that, at least.
"Alright, we're going to make camp here," Hange called to everyone. "Make yourselves comfortable."
Rose's heart lurched; so she would be vulnerable to whatever elements lay beyond these broken homes and torn up streets. She looked to Jake, who was watching her with those big, dark eyes, as if he were reading her thoughts.
Hange and Levi came over to them then, Hange saying, "Jake, you have a choice to stay in your titan form or not."
As if in answer, Jake lay further on the ground, then proceeded to push the back of Rose with the tip of his round nose. She tilted her head at him, then she suddenly understood: "I think he wants me to stay with him."
Levi's eyes narrowed, and Rose didn't miss Hange looking between the small titan and their comrade. However, instead of protesting, they said, "Fair enough. That's probably for the best, just in case."
"Right," Rose agreed, relief in her voice despite herself.
Some of the newer cadets were tasked with making a couple of small fires with Squad Levi prepped the food reserves they'd brought – minus Sasha. She was forced to collect firewood with the cadets, even though she whined about how necessary it would be for her to taste the food.
Rose sat with her back against Jake's titan form, seeming to grow more and more tired as the sun disappeared further into the horizon. Maybe it was just the fact they'd started so early in the day this time, expecting they'd be back home by now. Or maybe it was the fact that her adrenaline had been running this whole time with the anticipation of failing all over again and now that those worries seemed to have subsided a little, she could calm down and even settle a little.
Who knew?
Jake huffed a couple of times to get her attention, and when she glanced over at him, he tipped his head upward, to which she moved her gaze up as well. The stars looked so – condensed out here. It was absolutely beautiful.
"I wonder if I can find Gemini's constellation out here," she said, scanning the stars for her astrology sign. "Oh, there's Orion – and right next to it is… see, right there." She smiled up at sky, pulling her knees up to her chest, getting more comfortable as the night drew on. "It looks like two people holding hands, doesn't it?"
Jake made a low growling noise in agreement, lowering his head again but keeping his eyes on Rose. She could feel his gaze on him, and she couldn't help but ask, "What, something on my face?"
With a final puff of air through his large nostrils, Jake closed his black eyes. Had she asked the wrong thing? Was she being too geeky? Or boring?
"You haven't eaten," Levi commented, approaching her with a plate of food. "Here, no reason to go to bed hungry."
"Thank you," she said with a small smile, taking the plate and slowly taking the first bite. It wasn't great, by any means, but it was something, and it would keep her warm throughout the night. "Oh, I wonder…" She set the plate to the side, and looked up again, searching in the stars avidly until she finally found what she wanted. "Ah, there it is. Come here," she told Levi, patting the other side of her for him to sit beside her.
"For what?" He didn't sound like he wanted to join in on whatever game she wanted to play.
"Please? Just for a second, and then you can go back to work."
He relented then, as he did whenever she said "please", and situated himself beside her, gazing upward as if he could instantly see what she was looking at. "What is it?"
"See that really big star? Right there?" She pointed to a bright shining ball in the dark sky. "Then there's a slightly smaller one beside it, see?"
"Okay, I see them. What about them?" He didn't sound annoyed, but he sounded like he wanted to be done with this already. She knew he had a job to do, and took it seriously, so she knew she needed to hurry.
"Follow the slightly smaller one down to make two triangles – one big and one small right next to each other. That's your star sign."
He didn't say anything for awhile, just stared up at the sky as if searching for answers up there he couldn't seek down here. Then he said, "I see. What does that mean, then?"
"Nothing. I just… wanted to show you, is all." She felt her cheeks warm then, and she leaned away from him, eyes avoiding him entirely.
He stood up then, dusting himself off. "Make sure you eat, Rosemary." With that, he left, joining Hange by one of the bonfires.
She groaned when he was gone, pressing her back against Jake's form, needing some type of support right now.
He huffed a couple of times, and when she looked at him, she saw his eyes were still closed, but something about his face was slightly… lit up. Was he laughing at her? She would have told him off, if he could respond back. Rose opted to just eat the rest of her meal, and once she was done, she curled against Jake's body and forced her eyes closed, hoping sleep would take over soon.
It was several hours later, in the midst of the night, when she felt the rumbling.
Rose opened her eyes, pushing herself off the ground, but sticking close to Jake; Jake was already up, on his four feet, his pinchers at the ready, looking around frantically. Her eyes roamed around the campsite and saw no one else had woken up yet – except Levi, who was watching Jake carefully.
"Jake, what is it?" she whispered to him, getting to her feet, hand pressed to his side to get his attention.
He didn't respond, only lowered himself, eyes watching her expectedly. She understood what he was trying to say, and she hopped onto his neck, grabbing onto his hair and holding onto him tight. She looked to Levi, who was now standing up.
"Everyone, get up!"
It was like watching robots boot up – without even a moment's hesitation, each soldier got up from their cot and stood at the ready, eyes on their Captain and Commander.
"Get into your squads, now!" Hange ordered, waving their hand to dismiss everyone. With a resounding, "Yes, Commander", everyone scattered. Hange approached Jake and Rose. "Listen to Levi's orders – only attack when he says so, as you're supposed to."
"Yes, Commander," Rose replied, hunkering closer to Jake as her eyes watched the dark for whatever titan came toward them.
A few of another squad went ahead to investigate, and within a couple minutes threw up a black flare. An abnormal. Rose and Jake weren't allowed to fight those.
"Get her out of here," Levi demanded to Jake, and within the next second, Jake was running like the wind from camp, through the dark field, guided only by moonlight and the twinkling stars above.
They ran for some time, before they heard a loud thundering noise behind them. Rose dared to look back, and it appeared to be the abnormal titan in question. It was a little taller than Eren's titan, but she could barely tell that with the way it ran toward them. It was on its hands and feet, and in that formation it was able to run toward them with quite the speed. Eyes bugged out, she could tell they were honed in on them, mouth wide open and tongue hanging out, as if anticipating the taste of them.
"Jake, you're going to have to go faster. It's catching up!" she yelled, squeezing his hair, facing forward again. She knew she would panic further if she continued to watch it charge for them.
Listening to her, Jake sped up, but it seemed to have mimicked Jake's actions, the pounding noise of it coming for them becoming even faster, louder as it drew closer.
Just as it seemed Jake might have escaped it just a smidge, it leapt forward, grabbing for Jake's leg, snagging it and lurching Jake back. In the process, Rose ended being thrown off Jake's neck, landing in the grassy fields below. She rolled a few times before finally stopping, and as she quickly, wobbly, got to her feet, she watched in horror as the abnormal titan tried to take a bite out of Jake's leg.
Why Jake? Did it know that a person was within Jake's titan form? How could it?
"Jake – Jake, try to get loose! I got you!"
Jake kicked with his remaining three feet, then used his long pincher thumbs to cut at other titan. It released its hold on him, and just as Jake started to fall, Rose summoned a portal, dropping Jake by her side, further away from the abnormal. The attacking titan hissed in response, honed in on both Jake and Rose.
Quickly, Rose mounted Jake again and they rode quickly, then Rose yelled, "I'm going to get us out of here!"
Jake growled loudly in response, probably in protest, but she wasn't in the mood to listen. She'd hardly used her powers, she was fine. Waving a hand, a portal appeared before them, a picture of walls before them. Jake leapt through, and Rose quickly closed it, the titan seeming to almost scream in response, the sound echoing as the portal disappeared.
Only when they were at the safety of tall walls did Jake remove himself from his titan form, his face absolutely furious.
"You shouldn't have done that," he scolded her. "What if something happened to you?"
"What's the point of me being out there if I'm not going to do anything?" she countered, then she sighed. "I'm just glad you're okay, Jake. I got worried for a second. But… why was that thing trying to eat you?"
"Who the hell knows – or cares? Are you okay?" He reached up and wiped under her nose, showing her a drop of blood that had been dripping from it.
She swabbed at her face with her sleeve, keeping her gaze downward. "Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."
Soon enough, the rest of battalion joined them, her friends approaching them to assess whether or not Jake and Rose were alright. Rose reassured them she was perfectly fine, that they got out of there in one piece – mostly. Jake didn't seem eager to tell anyone about her nosebleed, to which she was appreciative. She didn't want anyone worrying about her while they clearly had other things to concern themselves with right now.
"That abnormal was hell to beat," Connie admitted as they were elevated over the walls again. "Captain Levi handled it like a pro, though."
Rose looked to Levi, who was watching her rather closely. She realized then how close she was standing to Jake still, but with how many people were in the elevator, it couldn't be helped, right? She just didn't want Levi thinking anything about the situation – if he thought anything at all.
That following night, Rose cooked dinner then proceeded to help clean up, not saying so much as a word to anyone. Her mind was on the previous day, and what had happened. Jake didn't divulge to anyone about what happened with the nosebleed situation, for which she was grateful. She really didn't want to appear weak to the rest of the Scouts, now that she was joining them on their outings beyond the walls.
While washing a knife, her mind distracted, she nicked her palm, and she cried out a bit as blood started to pool into the sink. She immediately ran her hand under the already running water, wincing at the stinging pain it caused.
"What happened?" she heard Levi ask behind her.
"I… cut my hand," she told him, not looking at him as she continued to rinse her hand.
"Let me see." He turned off the faucet and reached for her hand to assess the damage. "Not that bad. Let's go to the bathroom." He found a dry washrag and pressed it on the wound, soaking up the residual blood as well as encouraging the wound to stop bleeding.
Once they were in the bathroom, he pulled out the first aid kit and took out the gauze and dressing from it, removing the soiled washcloth and setting it on the sink. He proceeded to wrap her hand carefully, focused on the task before him, but his hands moved deftly. Rose couldn't help but watch not his hands but his face, the way he looked so concentrated on what he was doing.
When he finished, he released her hand, putting the supplies away, seeming to pay her no mind now. She stared at her injured hand, her face blushing; she didn't know why her cheeks were so warm, but staring at Levi's work made her heart swell, if just the tiniest bit.
"Thank you," she finally said, looking at him, giving him a small smile.
"Don't mention it," he replied gently, moving to leave the bathroom.
It was then that she felt like impulsively reaching for his hand, to pull him back to her, to keep him in this cramped bathroom with her and keep the space between them minimal – but she instead folded her hands before her, watching him go, as she always seemed to do.
