Risk: Chapter Forty-Two

Time seemed to pass by quickly and soon enough it was the brisk, cold months. Rose introduced the Squad to Thanksgiving – to which Sasha was completely overjoyed about – and made them quite the feast from food she'd brought from her home, utilizing her new kitchen.

She loved her new house. From the front foyer, it led into the sitting room, in which a white couch, love seat, and glass coffee table were set, with a large bookshelf filled with books she absolutely loved to read over and over again. Across from there was the living room, with a white sectional, another glass coffee table – this one longer than the one in the sitting room – and some end tables on either side of the long couch with a bright red area rug. Down the hall from those rooms was the dining room-slash-kitchen; it had a nice sized island in the middle, where she had a few stools laid out, brand new dishwasher, fridge and oven, and white and gold marble counter tops, the cabinets painted a stark white.

Upstairs was where the two bedrooms and bathrooms were. The first bedroom was right by the foot of the stairs, and for the time being it was used as an office space, with a computer set up, brand new pink computer chair, and a full sized bed in one corner for those nights where she just couldn't bring herself to walk the few feet to her bedroom. Next to the guest room was the guest bathroom, decently sized, with a standing shower, granite sink, and clean, white toilet, the works. Then at the end of the hall was her room, the master bedroom.

It was quite large, at least twice the size of her old bedroom, if not bigger. She had a king-sized bed with a plush pink headboard, she actually had a dresser this time, a cute wooden one that she'd painted white, and a walk-in closet opposite the bed, that wasn't quite full at all. She didn't have many clothes to begin with, but she was appreciative of the storage. She would ask one of her more fashionable friends for help on what to do, if anything, with her closet now that she had all that space. To the left of the bed was the master bathroom, with a vanity that had two sinks and a long mirror, a large tub that she could practically swim in, and a sleek showerhead and toilet to match.

But the best part was the backyard. It wasn't very big by any means, but it was fenced in by a red picket-fence – she had every intention of painting it white once it was warmer – and held a small patio by the door where she had placed a grill – that she didn't know how to use, but she would learn – and a lawn chair, her only decorations for now. She just loved how open it was, but also how private it happened to be.

It was her little oasis away from everyone else, and she loved it.

Just as soon as November came and went, December rolled around – at least, for her timeline. It was already December for the others. Speaking of which, there was something special she wanted to do…

She was so nervous about it, though, that she didn't think she had enough courage to do it. Actually, twice before she tried to do this very task, but both times she chickened out, coming up with excuses as to why she couldn't or shouldn't do it.

Jake came to visit her, surprisingly enough. They were about to start winter break, so with finals around the corner, practice was on hold. Rose was happy to see a familiar face at her new home. She was making friends fine, but she still hadn't had the courage to invite anyone over to her house yet.

"Nice place," he commented, coming down the stairs after touring the upstairs.

"Thanks. I still can't get over it." She was going to make them dinner, but opted to order out instead – Chinese food. She was setting out containers onto the counter right now. "My favorite is the backyard."

"Really? I wouldn't have chosen that," he said, and as she looked over at him for a brief moment, she noticed he had a smirk on his face.

Just what was on his mind?

They ate at the island, Rose staring out the bay window as a light snow was beginning to flutter outside.

Jake interrupted their silence by asking, "So, how are you and your boyfriend?"

"We both know I don't have a boyfriend," she said flatly. Something about that made her a little sad, though. As time went on, they seemed to be talking less and less, Levi consumed with his work and training his Squad, and Rose working alongside Jake and Hange to improve her powers, sometimes with Lily, but her poor sister was splitting her time between Hange and Levi so often, she surely didn't know what was up from down.

At any rate, because she was spending less time with Levi, she felt that a wall was starting to grow between them. At the same time, she was growing closer with Jake. Not to the point that she'd developed feelings for him, not by a long shot, but she definitely looked forward to seeing him and enjoyed his company.

She just missed Levi's as well.

"Really? You haven't even tried to go out with the students at your school?"

"We're all kind of too busy learning Anatomy and Physiology to focus on dating right now," she retorted. She didn't mean to be so defensive, she just didn't like the discussion of her love life – or lack thereof.

"I think you should give dating a shot," he said, setting down his fork and staring at her with his round brown eyes over his glasses. "I'm sure if you did, you might find someone you actually like."

"I have someone I like," she reminded him.

"And how is that working out for you?"

She didn't respond, only ate another piece of chicken, gaze out the window again.

"Rose…" His voice indicated he wanted her full attention, and she hesitantly gave it. "You know how much I'd like to be that person you gave a chance to. However, I also know you cherish our friendship, so I won't push it. But if you ever want to try – really try – this Christmas season…"

She couldn't help it – she was blushing at his proposal. She had to admit, it was very sweet of him to offer. But, despite the fact that she was feeling lonely in these cold months, her heart was spoken for.

"Thank you, Jake, really," she finally said, smiling softly at him.

"Yeah, figured I'd shoot my shot." He smiled back at her, chuckling, but she could tell it wasn't reaching his eyes.

Rose wished that her being around Jake didn't hurt him. And that she didn't love their friendship so much that she felt she needed it at this point.


"You made this?" Sasha asked, putting the shawl over her head and hugging it to her.

Rose had taken up crochet in the last few months, even joining a group at school, and had been hard at work perfecting her craft for the holidays. "Yeah. Do you like it?"

"Like it? I love it!"

She had made all the Squad something: Connie a hat, her sister and Mikasa blouses, and Jean and Eren vests. Next was the person she'd been too nervous to even speak to the last few days, so much so that when she saw him come down the hall or along the same road as her, she would stumble over herself and go the opposite direction, even if it was out of her way.

She knocked on his office door, waiting for him to call through it.

"Come in."

She hovered over the doorknob, hand shaking, wondering if this was a good idea at all. Would he even like a present? She'd explained that she would be giving them something for the holiday called "Christmas" anyway, so it wasn't like it was unexpected. She never said what day it was on – she wanted to make that something special she went over with just him.

"I said, come in –" The door flew open then, and Rose barely had enough time to catch her breath as Levi now stood in front of her, looking rather agitated – though his expression melted upon seeing her. "Rosemary – what are you doing here?"

"I –" The presents she had for him felt heavy in her bag, like lead bricks, and she suddenly felt that maybe, more than likely, he just wouldn't care for them anyway. "Never mind."

She turned on her heel to leave, but to her surprise, he stopped her, grabbing hold of her arm and pulling her back into his office. She gasped as the door shut in front of her, his hand pressed against it, above her head, as if to block her from escaping.

"Are you mad at me or something?"

She didn't initially face him, just stared at the door as if willing it to open it despite him bracing it closed. Sighing, she hesitantly turned around, hands wringing the strap of her bag, but she still couldn't look at him. "Of course not. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then what's with you avoiding me?"

Dang it, so he'd noticed. She thought he was so busy with his day-to-day life as a Captain that he honestly had forgotten all about her.

"I – I just…" She didn't know how to answer that without sounding like an idiot. 'I'm hopelessly in love with you, and being around you makes me deliriously happy as well as incredibly sad and I don't know what to do about that'. She certainly couldn't say that.

"You what, Rosemary?" His voice had softened a little bit, but still held that demanding tone.

"I thought that I was… annoying you. So I was trying to give you space, is all." She kept her gaze averted to the wall, somewhere safe to look at, because if she faced him right now she didn't think she could handle it.

"Are you dumb?" He pushed away from the door, but he didn't move away from her. "Rosemary, look at me."

Swallowing hard, she dared to find his eyes – they were soft, serene, but something about them was also intense. He had something he wanted to say to her, she could tell.

"You're the last person to annoy me. If I can tolerate Shitty Glasses, I can absolutely tolerate you." He must have noticed her shoulders fall – that really wasn't much a compliment, considering how much they poked and prodded at one another – as he added, a hand running through his hair, "That's not what I meant. I meant to say: I would rather be around you than anyone else."

She felt her heart flutter like the snow outside at those words, and she stared at him expectantly, unable to speak.

"Well – say something." Was he embarrassed?

"Levi, I… I feel the same way," she said, her voice breathy. "I like being around you more than anyone else I've ever met. Even when we're not speaking, just your presence is enough for me."

His steely eyes searched her, for the truth, for an answer to a question that seemed to be lingering in the back of his mind – she couldn't tell. Once again, he was so hard to read. Either way, she stood terribly still, though she was shaking a little.

"O-oh, I wanted to give you something," she said suddenly, knowing that while she had some ounce of courage, now would be the right time. Reaching in her bag, she procured two presents – one wrapped in penguin wrapping paper, the other a small red box tied with a white bow.

"What – why –"

"Because it's Christmas where I'm from. But more importantly, it's your birthday, isn't it?" She extended both presents in either hand to him, knowing her face was bright red, but she ignored that for now. "Take them, please?"

Levi hesitantly grabbed both in his hands, then sat on his bed, setting the box down and opening the aptly wrapped one first. It was a pair of beige gloves.

"I hope they're okay," she said, watching him carefully.

He observed them for a moment, tried them on – they fit perfect. "They're fine," he finally said, but there was something in his voice that was softer than before.

He liked them, then?

He took them off, placing them on the bed and then went to open the box. Upon opening it, he stared inside, mouth slightly gaped.

"I saw your old one was getting kind of… dull," she told him, "so, I bought you a new one."

Levi took out the utility knife, pressing the button on the side to release the knife from within. Then he messed with the other attachments on it before he looked up at her. "Thanks."

She smiled brightly at him, sitting down next to him, the gloves creating was seemed like a cavern a space between them.

"You're welcome – and happy birthday, Levi."