Chapter Ten

Tifa sighed to herself as she lifted crate after crate of liquor into 7th Heaven. These had come by special delivery on the morning stage, and not a moment too soon, as after everyone had wanted to party last night, she had been running very low.

Sometimes, she thought to herself, it would really be nice to have help.

She still missed Cloud. What had happened to him? Why didn't he ever write? Did he even know about Nibelheim? If he tried to write home, would any of the Shinra people who had taken it over even tell him anything?

She had tried finding out about him from the Army, but there had been countless red tape and she had gone in circles, never really learning anything of value. That was strange, really. Why would they keep such a tight lid on his whereabouts? If he was missing . . . or worse . . . she should be able to find out without all this misery.

She looked up in a mixture of surprise and suspicion when Aerith Gast came into view, heading right towards her. Elmyra had been right about the town getting right to business gossiping. Tifa had now heard about Aerith and Sephiroth from multiple sources and she didn't know what to make of the other girl.

"Hello, good morning!" Aerith said brightly as she came up to Tifa. "Need some help?"

". . . Yeah, that would be nice, thanks," Tifa said at last.

Aerith lifted a crate with some effort and hauled it inside. "Where would you like it?"

"Over by those others at the side of the bar for now," Tifa said. She brought in a crate of her own. ". . . So what's the deal with you and Sephiroth?" She brushed dark brown bangs out of her eyes as she spoke.

"Deal?" Aerith said lightly. "I only met him yesterday."

"The townspeople said you went to see Loveless together and then he walked you home." Tifa straightened and folded her arms. "That's pretty chummy for just meeting yesterday."

"People are silly old gossips," Aerith replied. "Actually, we went to the theatre to track down General Rhapsodos. We both hoped he could tell us more about what happened . . . the night Zack died."

Tifa frowned. "And did he?"

Aerith shook her head. "Not really. And then of course Sephiroth walked me home. It was late by then."

"Some people said he stayed a long time," Tifa remarked.

"What do they do, stake out people's houses and watch them?" Aerith said lightly, but there was a definite undercurrent of annoyance in her words. Sobering, she said, "I really don't know him well at all, but I'll insist on telling everyone that he's a good and kind man. I understand why you hate him, but . . . if he really did those horrible things when he was out of his mind, is it fair to think he's some kind of monster?"

"Even if one of those things was to kill Zack?" Tifa pointedly asked.

"No one would feel worse about that than he would himself," Aerith said. "We don't know if he really did it; I don't see how we can trust General Rhapsodos's words when he clearly has something against Sephiroth." She took a deep breath. "But if he did do it . . . I've been asking myself how I'll feel. I honestly can't say. I just know I hope I would stay compassionate towards him."

Tifa sighed. "You're a better person than I am." She went back for another crate. "I know you have a point, though."

Aerith followed her out to get a crate too. "I know it must be hard for you to talk about it, but maybe you remember something that would be a clue to help us," she said. "Would you mind going over everything you remember with me?"

"I was just thinking about it all again last night after hearing about you and Sephiroth," Tifa admitted. "But I don't think I can really tell you that much. I only saw them when they came to investigate the problem at the Shinra Mansion."

"How did you get hurt?" Aerith asked.

Tifa paused. "You know, that's one of the many things I really don't remember about that night. Somebody stabbed me. It must have been Sephiroth, since he started burning everything down. But I don't know how or why he did it. He probably didn't have a reason for any of the insane things he did."

Aerith sighed to herself. This certainly seemed like a dead end. But maybe she could still get a friend out of it.

"Are you coming to the social?" she asked.

"Probably," Tifa said. "It gets kind of tiring even bothering when you know you're not really wanted. But the whole town is going, so I wouldn't be likely to have any business here while it's on."

"Well, I want you," Aerith smiled. "I'm going with Sephiroth, though, so he'll be there."

Tifa sighed. "One or both of you really move fast."

"We're friends," Aerith insisted. "Just friends who are bonding over someone we both love and miss very much."

"And he may be the reason you miss Zack," Tifa said. "I just don't think I could get close to him like you are."

Suddenly Aerith realized the possibility that seeing Tifa might trigger unpleasant memories for Sephiroth again. She would have to talk to Sephiroth about that and see what he wanted to do.

"And that's okay," she said. "Everyone's path is different."

She helped with the rest of the crates before stepping back to survey their work. "We did a good job," she proclaimed.

"We did," Tifa said with a trace of a smile. "Thank you. I'm sorry I can't help more about . . . about Nibelheim."

"We'll figure it out," Aerith said. "I'd still like to be friends."

Tifa smiled a little more. "A friend would be nice."

"All of the townspeople seem so nice," Aerith lamented. "It's hard to believe all of them would shun you."

"The Marshall and Kate are nice," Tifa said. With a grim smirk she added, "Some of the patrons can get a little too nice. Then I show them to the door."

"You don't have a bouncer?" Aerith asked.

"I tried interviewing for the position, but it ended up that I did a better job than they did," Tifa said. "I know several kinds of martial arts."

"That's amazing," Aerith smiled. "That must be very useful."

"It definitely comes in handy out here," Tifa said.

They visited for a few more minutes before Aerith said Goodbye and excused herself. She had already taken care of her dress shopping, so for now she headed to the hotel and up to Sephiroth's room. The door was shut and she couldn't hear any sounds beyond it, so she hesitated. Was he asleep? Maybe he'd had a long, sleepless night and only recently had gone to sleep.

Suddenly the door flew open and Sephiroth was standing there, fully dressed except for a shirt, eyes narrowed. When he saw it was Aerith, he relaxed exponentially. "I thought you might be Lieutenant Epsen spying on me," he apologized. "He's been scarce since Genesis first visited me yesterday."

"Oh, I see," Aerith frowned. "Isn't he disobeying orders?"

"I wonder what his orders really are," Sephiroth growled. He stepped aside. "Anyway, things happened last night. I don't know how to explain them, but you deserve to know. Come in."

Aerith did so and Sephiroth shut the door after her. "Sorry for the impropriety, but I don't want to talk about this with the door open," Sephiroth said.

"That's fine," Aerith said. "We probably really should have privacy." And she hesitated. "I wanted to make friends with Tifa Lockhart. She owns a saloon here in town. She's also from Nibelheim. She doesn't remember much, but she . . . well, I'm afraid she hates you. And I suddenly wondered if seeing her at the social might trigger more memories for you."

"It might," Sephiroth said. "I don't know. I don't recognize the name, except that Cloud was talking about a Tifa in what I ended up supposedly remembering late last night." He gestured to a chair. "Please sit down. There's . . . a lot to explain."

Aerith sat. And she listened. Sephiroth started off talking about what Genesis had said, which was bizarre and hard to follow. But when he started telling of what he seemed to remember after Genesis left, she went sheet-white.

"Harming Zack . . . apparently brought me back to myself," he said with great effort. "I tried to save him. Cloud tried. But we . . . couldn't." He looked down. "And Genesis . . . he was utterly mad. His body was degrading because of the experiments. He wanted my help somehow. Apparently he thought my cells were better and would save him. I wouldn't, for whatever reason, and he started trying to take them from this . . . alien creature that was being kept there. After I'd already fallen so far because of the cells and the creature and the truth of my origins driving me insane, I couldn't allow the same thing to happen to him. We fought, and . . ." He frowned. "I don't understand, but this tank of our energy source was pierced in the fight and it completely washed over me. I was wounded from my battles that night and some of this substance got inside my wounds. It seemed to be reacting to the cells I'd been injected with. Suddenly I had so much more knowledge, as though the energy source itself was filled with it and feeding it into my brain. I was desperate and I thought . . . I thought maybe I could use that knowledge to save Zack. I was trying to rewrite the past, to make it so the horrific events didn't happen. We were all surrounded by light . . . and then I don't remember anything more."

Aerith was silent, taking it all in, trying to digest what she was being told. ". . . It really was you then, wasn't it," she said softly. "You were the one who . . ."

"Yes." Sephiroth's voice was filled with anguish. "It must be real; how could I imagine such a long memory just from what Genesis told me? I killed him. And even as he lay dying, he was happy because I'd come back to myself." He shook his head. "I tried so hard to save him. I don't know what I did or if I really brought us to this place, but my efforts didn't save Zack. I . . . I am so sorry."

Aerith blinked back the forming tears, but they didn't stop. "How?" she whispered. "How did that happen to you? How did you fall that far?"

"I don't know," Sephiroth said morosely. "Does anyone truly know what drives them out of their minds? I learned that Genesis was right, that I especially had been groomed to be the perfect monster. I was injected with alien cells. And the most frightening thing about it is that once I was there with that creature, I remember her talking to me, filling me with her poison." He leaned forward, digging his hands into his hair. "Everything I had known all through my life had been a lie. It felt like everything I had done had been for nothing, that I had been fighting on the wrong side all those years. And I fell prey to her darkness, believing that helping her was the right thing instead and that humans were treacherous worms who had stolen everything that rightfully belonged to her. I ranted and raved and went outside. . . . I set fire to everything. . . ." His voice caught in his throat. "I went back in and started trying to take the creature with me. I thought it was my mother. Zack caught me and we fought and I . . ."

Aerith stared at him, aghast. What could she say? What could she think? What was there to say or think? She didn't understand much of any of this.

But . . . what she did understand was that Sephiroth was hurting so much. Genesis had deliberately triggered all of this to start coming back to him for his own cruel reasons. Now Sephiroth was devastated and despairing beyond compare. How could she hate him?

Slowly she got up, walking across the floor until she was standing by him. She bent down, bringing her arms around his shoulders in a sweet, warm embrace.

He went absolutely stiff in her arms.

"I'm so sorry," she said softly. "I'm sorry all of these horrible memories had to come back to you. I'm sorry they're real and that you have that weight on you now. And I am so, so sorry about Zack, for all of our sakes. My heart is lost, but no one could feel more horrible about what happened than you do."

". . . How can you do this?" he spoke at last. "Why don't you hate me like this Tifa does, like Cloud did? It's all I deserve."

"No," Aerith replied, and the tears fell again, landing in his silver hair. "No, you don't deserve hate. You deserve love and understanding and forgiveness." She drew back so he could see into her eyes. "I forgive you, Sephiroth."

He still just stared at her, not understanding, not comprehending. "Forgive . . ."

"Yes." She smiled firmly and kindly, despite the immense sorrow in her eyes and in her smile. "And I will be your loyal friend no matter what."

". . . We barely even know each other," Sephiroth finally said. "And now you know what I've done. . . ."

"I knew you through Zack's letters," she said. "And meeting you, I saw that you're just like he wrote. You love him so much! You tried everything you could to save him, even . . . even sending us to this other place."

"I didn't mean for there to be that result," Sephiroth said. "And if we are truly where we don't belong, I have to figure out how I did it and send us all back."

"You can worry about that later," Aerith said. "You'll figure it out. I believe in you." Finally she drew back and straightened.

"You are no doubt the only one who does." He sighed heavily and got to his feet. "I don't know what I'll do now. . . . How can I possibly tell Harper all of this? He'll think it's the ravings of a lunatic."

"Then don't tell him," Aerith said. "He doesn't have to know."

"And I don't know how to deal with knowing what this secret faction in the Army has done to me all of my life." Sephiroth clenched a fist. "How can I continue serving now that I know? And how can I leave them unchecked to go on with their outrageous experiments? Others may suffer."

Aerith sighed. It truly was a problem. "There must be a way to stop them," she said. "What if you and General Rhapsodos told publicly about your wings? That's proof right there of what's happening!"

Sephiroth looked doubtful. "Perhaps. I doubt he would do it. He always has his own agenda." And he frowned. "He seems much better than he did in my memories, though. How? He was degrading so much, both physically and mentally. Now he's more like he was before any of that started."

". . . Maybe you really did rewrite the past?" Aerith suggested. "Maybe you saved him."

"Him and not Zack as well." Bitterness and sorrow heavily laced Sephiroth's voice.

Aerith hesitated. ". . . I guess there's absolutely no chance you did save Zack?" she suggested. "You were never allowed to see his body. As far as I know, his parents never got him back. What if . . . I don't know . . . what if this horrible secret faction has him?"

Sephiroth looked to her with a jerk. "I didn't even consider that," he said, stunned beyond belief at the very suggestion. Was there any chance? Any possible chance? "If there's any scrap of hope that's true, I can't leave them or try to bring them down until I know. I might endanger him. And at least still being with them, I stand some chance of learning information if I'm careful. I know there are many things they never tell me. They allow me to think I'm in control, but I'm really not."

"We'll find out together," Aerith said in determination. "And maybe I can ask Tifa to help too. She sounded like she had some inside information somehow."

"Would she do anything to help me?" Sephiroth looked skeptical at best.

"It would be for Zack, so I think so," Aerith said. "She doesn't have anything against Zack."

Sephiroth hesitated. ". . . Tell me, has it been three years?" He sounded incredibly awkward again. "That's what I was told, but how can I believe anything they've said? I had a breakdown after it happened; I don't know how long I was out of it."

Aerith was again surprised. "Yes, it's been three years," she said. "Three very long, very horrible years. . . ."

Sephiroth sighed. "I suppose I should be grateful they told the truth about something." The sarcasm was heavy in his voice.

". . . Are you going to tell General Rhapsodos about what you've remembered?" Aerith asked.

"I am," Sephiroth said darkly. "And I hope he has an explanation for something, such as why he's so much better now physically and emotionally." He frowned, looking to the window. "Who knows when he'll appear. But I'm sure he'll come. He wanted to trigger me into remembering again, so he'll want to know if it worked."

"Do you remember everything now?" Aerith said softly.

"No," Sephiroth said. "I remember very little of the actual fight with Zack. I have vague flashes of remembering burning the town, and I remember Zack catching me when I was trying to take that alien creature, but then my mind goes blank until Zack was falling down fatally wounded."

Aerith gave him a sorrowful look. "I hope you won't have to remember more than that of that horrible time. Do you want me to stay or should I go talk to Tifa about her sources?"

"Talk to Tifa," Sephiroth said. "Tell her the possibility that maybe Shinra has Zack, but don't mention anything about us maybe being from another time and place."

"I won't . . . yet," Aerith said. "But she'll need to know eventually; she must have come here with us."

"Apparently more than just people came here," Sephiroth said morosely. "The entire town of Nibelheim is here. How could I have possibly caused something so unheard-of?"

"It must have been because of that strange energy," Aerith said. "You said you were gaining more knowledge when it got into your wounds."

"Yes, I know. But it's still so insane." Sephiroth frowned. "I vaguely remember that to be part of this elite force, candidates go through treatments with that energy. I must have had it pour over me countless times."

"You surely weren't wounded those other times, though," Aerith said.

"No. And the alien being wasn't present either." Sephiroth sighed. "I hope that's locked far away where no one can get at it."

"Me too," Aerith said fervently. She headed for the door, but paused and looked back. "You're sure you'll be alright?"

"Yes. What would help the most would be if someone can help us learn the answer to this incredible question," Sephiroth said. "I never once thought Zack might still be alive."

"Why would you?" Aerith said softly. "You wouldn't think they'd lie to you."

"No, but I did suspect something was wrong," Sephiroth said. "They were just acting too strange." He gave her a look filled with determination. "I don't want to have false hope, or give you any, but we have to find out the truth about this as quickly as possible."

Aerith nodded. "I'll go talk to Tifa right away." She opened the door and hurried into the hall. "I'll be back later!"

Sephiroth sighed as he sank back in the chair. He remembered so much, but not all. Some things still weren't adding up. Why hadn't he been willing to share his cells with Genesis, for one thing? He wouldn't have known how dangerous they were yet. There had to be something else, some reason for his refusal that made sense.

Not remembering the fight with Zack wasn't a surprise, really. It was probably that singular incident and Zack's death because of it that had traumatized him into a breakdown. Although no doubt burning the town had been a factor too. He could still scarcely comprehend he could have done it. Insanity truly was a terrifying thing.

And how could he know it wouldn't happen again? That was no doubt what the Army feared. He wanted to believe he would be stronger than that now that he knew, but the mind didn't always work that way. He could be a ticking time bomb waiting to go off again.

"Zack," he whispered aloud to the lonely room. "I am so sorry. You gave your love and trust to me and I squandered it."

Somehow he knew Zack had forgiven him, just as Aerith had.

"I will be your loyal friend no matter what."

That was incomprehensible too.

"How can you feel that way about me?" he muttered. "How could anyone? I don't deserve it."

He stared up at the ceiling and shut his eyes, vainly willing the hurricane in his heart to cease.

Unseen on the ledge, Genesis pondered to himself. "Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess," he whispered.

He lifted the sash.