Chapter 75

Snape's tale

Severus Snape had his reputation to uphold; so why was he now willing to help Lily Potter? Why had he given Umbridge fake Veritaserum potion when she had asked for the real thing to question Potter? That name… why did Potter have to choose that for a first name? Was it an attack on him?

No, that would be giving Potter far too much credit. She wouldn't do that. But still, Potter was… improving, by a significant degree. He thought of the book he had given Potter, his old schoolbook, or at least, a duplicate, with some spells removed. He didn't want Potter learning anything other than potions, and one of the spells, Sectumsempra, was not a spell he would teach Potter, at least not whilst Umbridge was at the school. But would he teach her it?

As he sat in his armchair in his personal quarters at Hogwarts, he looked at a picture of himself, and Lily Evans, when they were eleven, a picture he had cherished for so long.

"Lily, would you have truly chosen me?" Snape asked softly, looking at the picture. Oh, how he had felt as a child, so free and loving of life with his friend.

Okay, so he hated his father, a muggle who hated magic. Was that why he, Severus, had joined the Dark Lord? Because of his father. It was as good a reason as any, really.

But why had he blamed all muggles? He took a sip of his Hot Chocolate, a drink Lily had gotten him to try, one he liked.

When Black had first arrived at Hogwarts to teach, Severus had told Dumbledore that it wasn't a good idea, especially with Lupin loose. After all, what if Black had attacked Lupin, and endangered anyone, especially Potter? After all, it was for Lily Evans that Severus was looking out for Potter.

Then Potter had come out as Transgender, calling herself Lily, and starting to look like her. The first time Severus had seen Potter… that was a nightmare feeling for him. He had felt a massive shock; for a brief moment, he felt like he was a kid again, seeing Lily for the first time.

How had Dumbledore failed to protect Lily? How could he have failed? Severus had found out about the Dark Lord's plan and had pleaded for Lily's life. He remembered that conversation all too well…


"You asked to see me, Severus?" Voldemort asked, looking at Snape, who was kneeling in front of the man.

"Yes, my Lord. I come bearing… a request," Severus said.

"Please, stand my friend. You have been an excellent Death Eater. How can I help you?" Voldemort asked. Severus stood and looked at Voldemort.

"My Lord, I know of your plans to kill the Potter family," Severus said. "I think your inner circle all know."

"Indeed. From what I hear, James Potter and his friends tormented you when you were at school," Voldemort replied.

"He did, and I have no care for him, my Lord, nor his child. I am sure the boy will be just like Potter; arrogant and pig-headed," Severus said. "But the mother, Lily… My Lord, I ask for her life."

"The life of a Mudblood?" Voldemort asked, tilting his head. Whilst his face was flat, Snape was certain that Voldemort was frowning.

"My Lord, I understand this is an… unusual request, but I grew up near her, and we were… friends. She isn't pure blood, but she is talented, and… beautiful, and kind. I have… desired her for some time, and James Potter stopped me from being with her. I would like a chance to have her as my own," Snape said. Voldemort looked at him.

"I must confess, Severus, I am slightly… disappointed that you would allow yourself to have feelings for someone not of pure blood. After all, you have been one of our greatest fighters against the filth of Mudblood and muggles," Voldemort said calmly.

"I am as well, my lord, but my heart bids me to try and ask for her life. I will abide by your ruling, my lord, of course, but I wanted to ask," Snape said. Voldemort looked at him; Snape could feel the Dark Lord within his mind and made sure that he projected the thoughts that he wanted Voldemort to know, and none other.

"I understand, Severus," Voldemort spoke after a few moments. "If you were anyone else, I would refuse, and perhaps even kill them. But I will give her the option to stand aside, to allow herself to live. That is the most I will give; one chance. But I will kill James Potter and the baby."

"Absolutely, my Lord. You are gracious, and generous, my Lord, and I am thankful," Snape said.

"Now, I do have an assignment for you, Severus. You must go to Dumbledore, and allow him to think you are sorry, and that you will switch sides," Voldemort stated.

"My Lord?" Snape asked, confused. Voldemort gave the barest of smiles.

"I will admit to none other that I am annoyed by that Muggle Loving Fool, Albus Dumbledore, and his damned Order of the Phoenix. I need you to get in close, and find out his plans," Voldemort said.

"He will not trust me, my Lord," Snape pointed out.

"He will when you tell him that I am hunting down the Potter family. He will send them into hiding," Voldemort said.

"Will that not make it difficult to find them?" Snape asked, although in that moment, he did feel hope that perhaps he could save Lily.

"Not at all. I have… another spy within Dumbledore's ranks, one I will not divulge, but when the time has come, I will have everything ready to destroy Potter, and that baby," Voldemort promised.

"Of course, my Lord; only you would have such a perfect plan," Severus complimented. "When would you like me to contact Dumbledore?"

"Immediately, my friend. You will keep in contact with me using our ways. I have faith you will be able to convince him; he is so blinded in his hope that everyone is good," Voldemort stated.

"Of course, my Lord. It will be my pleasure to serve," Severus said.

"Go quickly, Severus. For purity, we will win," Voldemort stated.

"For Purity, my Lord," Severus repeated, before turning and leaving the room.


Severus sighed as he took another sip of his drink, shaking his head. That was the moment he knew he couldn't allow anything to happen to Lily, and that he would do anything for the woman he loved. Lily Evans would never know that he was her hero, but he would do it anyway. He would do whatever it took to save her life, because that's what love was; being willing to sacrifice everything for one person.

The problem was that it hadn't been enough. He had gone to Dumbledore, and told him everything, including Voldemort's intention for getting himself into Dumbledore's confidence. He had warned Dumbledore of a spy but didn't know who it was.

That had been a difficult meeting, but he had finally gotten Dumbledore to agree to a meeting, somewhere isolated. He had even agreed to let Dumbledore pick the place, just before they met, so there wouldn't be time to tell anyone else…


With the cold air billowing against Snape, he did his best to ignore the chill running through him. He was genuinely afraid; not of Dumbledore, but of failure. He was on his knees as he looked up at the Hogwarts Headmaster, fighting back the tears.

"What does Lord Voldemort want with me that he sends you to speak with me?" Dumbledore asked.

"He… he sent me to try and get close to you… but he isn't why I am here," Snape confessed. He would speak only truth to Dumbledore. It had been a difficult choice to make, but whilst Voldemort had told Severus to take the meeting, now it was a meeting in earnest, from his desire to protect Lily.

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Dumbledore told him. "And get up, I do not want people kneeling before me; I am not that vain."

Snape stood and met Dumbledore's eyes. "I have made… a terrible mistake, Dumbledore," Snape started.

"In what sense?" Dumbledore asked.

"As you know, I spied on you when you met with Trelawny. I confess… I did not think my actions through, for if I had, I would never have spoken with the Dark Lord after," Snape said.

"You mean when she had her vision. Why would that matter? I would have expected you to be glad that Voldemort was going to prevent his death," Dumbledore said. Snape shook his head.

"Not… not anymore," Snape admitted, a tear welling up in his eye. "It… he… he believes it means Lily's child."

"The Potters?" Dumbledore, for the first time, looked alarmed at the thought.

"You have to save her… please… keep her safe," Snape pleaded.

"Her? Just Lily?" Dumbledore narrowed his eyes, a hint of disgust in his eyes.

"It is… no secret that I do not like… or respect… Potter himself, but… you must save all of them then. I cannot bear to see Lily in that much pain. I will do… whatever I must to protect her. Ask me for anything, and I will give it, no matter what," Snape promised. Dumbledore studied him, and Snape could feel Dumbledore in his mind. For the first time ever, he put up no barriers, he made no attempt to fight Dumbledore's mind reading.

"I have said this before and will undoubtedly say it again; Love will be the end of Lord Voldemort," Dumbledore said, putting his wand away. "I accept your wisdom, Severus, but what I ask will not be easy, and it will be costly."

"I don't care! I will do whatever you ask, whatever it takes!" Snape swore. "I will make the unbreakable vow, should you so wish."

"I do not need such a display, Severus. I believe you. I know how skilled you are at Occlumency, and I know you didn't attempt to fight me. Even a man who believes himself lost can be saved, if only by love," Dumbledore said.

Snape couldn't help but wonder if he could be saved by love. Was that really something so powerful? Was he ready to surrender everything he believed?

It was then that Severus realised something; he wasn't surrendering anything he believed in. He didn't believe in Voldemort anymore.

"You look like you have just had an epiphany, Severus," Dumbledore said, and in his tone, Snape was shocked to hear that it sounded like Dumbledore was speaking now not to an enemy, but to a friend. "Walk with me," Dumbledore said, before sending off his Phoenix, Fawkes, with a message.

As the two walked along the cliff face, Dumbledore looked at Snape. "I often hoped you would return to the light, Severus. I knew you would never truly serve Voldemort, not with what I knew of you," Dumbledore explained.

"How?" Snape asked.

"Love. I recognised it the second I saw you and Lily Evans at Hogwarts. You were only children, but even then, there was a connection there. Perhaps, in time, that friendship can be restored," Dumbledore said softly.

"I have… lost her for good, Dumbledore, and yet, I still love her," Snape replied.

"Which is why you aren't betraying anyone or anything by coming to me," Dumbledore said. "You were struggling when we spoke first, days ago, and now, I can sense a calm that has just washed over you."

"How are you so aware of this? Are you reading my thoughts?" Snape demanded.

"Oh, not at all, Severus. I do not need to. I, too, have loved someone whom I could never be with, and whom I struggled with. I thought my love would be powerful enough to return them to the light, but I failed, I'm sorry to say," Dumbledore said wistfully. "But the feelings I had… I had to choose between love and justice. You, I believe, have just discovered that your feelings are more powerful than the propaganda that Voldemort spouts."

"Because I was willing to betray him truly… I never truly believed in him," Snape agreed. "Your love… you truly believed in what you were doing, and so love didn't win out. But… for me… love did win."

"And so, Voldemort never had your heart or mind," Dumbledore agreed. "Severus, we have much to do. Can you convince Voldemort you still serve him?"

"He has never been able to read my mind, Dumbledore, except for what I want him to see within me," Snape assured Dumbledore.

"Good. Go back to him, tell him you have succeeded, and you will be taking the role of Potions Master at Hogwarts. He will be impressed and will believe I was fallible enough to believe in the story he told you to tell me," Dumbledore said. "I will use all of my power to protect Lily, and her family."

"Thank you, Dumbledore," Snape said, nodding as the two stopped walking.

"Godspeed, Severus. Your path is now one far more difficult than anyone else will know. But you can do what must be done; I believe in you," Dumbledore smiled at Snape, before disapparating. Snape watched the empty space for a short time, knowing that he was risking everything, but for the love of one woman, he would risk the world.


How could everything happen the way it did? Snape finished his hot chocolate as he thought of Lily, of finding out she was dead. He had wanted to go to help Lily, but he hadn't known of the planned attack. Voldemort had kept some plans from him, deliberately, either because he didn't want to risk Dumbledore finding out or because he didn't want Snape to act rashly. Had Voldemort suspected him?

No, Severus knew that couldn't be the case, otherwise Voldemort would have killed him immediately. He was not one to tolerate weakness. That was also, Severus suspected, the other reason Voldemort hadn't told him. If Lily had stood by and let him in, he would have spared her, but of course, Severus knew Lily would never do such a thing, and Voldemort likely knew it as well. It was to be a lesson in weakness, and to remove weakness.

And yet, he had been destroyed, or rather, his body had been destroyed, when he tried to kill Harry Potter.

Of course, Dumbledore had been there after to tell him what had happened, as much as he knew, anyway. That meeting had been the worst pain Severus had ever felt, more so than the Cruciatus curse. More so than when his mother had been killed by one of the Order of the Phoenix, even more so than when Lily had told him to never talk to her again…


"YOU SAID YOU WOULD PROTECT HER!" Severus cried out, on his knees as tears were flowing. He didn't care about showing weakness; it was over. He had done everything, and it hadn't been enough. A part of him wanted to kill Dumbledore there and then, but it would have solved nothing. In fact, it would have likely ended with Severus being killed.

"I am sorry, Severus. It seems that Lily and James put their faith in the wrong person," Dumbledore said, and Severus could hear the pain and anguish in his voice. "I never thought of this happening. I thought they would be safe, and yet I failed them."

"How?" Severus wept.

"Sadly, and unknown to any of us, Remus Lupin was the spy that Voldemort had within my ranks. I never imagined that he would be willing to betray his friends," Dumbledore explained.

"Lupin? No, he… Lily trusted him. He helped them…" Severus's voice trailed off.

"That is what we all thought," Dumbledore admitted. "I thought Sirius Black would be the perfect Secret Keeper, but Remus Lupin volunteered. He said he would be stronger to fight off Voldemort's forces as a Werewolf and wouldn't want to risk Sirius's life."

"Instead, he turned them over to the Dark Lord," Severus said bitterly.

"Sadly, yes. However, all is not lost. Lily's child, Harry, survives. He has her eyes," Dumbledore said kindly.

"Her… her son?" Severus asked. Dumbledore nodded.

"He will need help, and protection," Dumbledore explained.

"From whom? The Dark Lord is dead, and his followers now broken without him," Severus exclaimed.

"No, he is not dead. He will return, one day. Do not ask me how, but I have only my suspicions," Dumbledore said. "And many will be angry at the boy for Voldemort's death. I need your help to keep him safe, Severus."

"My help?" Severus echoed, surprised.

"You are someone I can, and do, trust. If any of his followers start to gather, you will know, and you will be able to stop them. Can I count on you?" Dumbledore asked. Severus looked at him.

"He must… he must never know," Severus insisted. Dumbledore met his gaze and nodded in understanding.

"Very well," Dumbledore agreed. "I will never tell anyone of what you are doing."

"For Lily… I will do this," Severus said, as he stood, determined that whilst he had hated James Potter, his love for Lily would never die, and so, he would ensure that she would live on, in her child.


Of course, keeping Harry Potter safe hadn't been easy. Dumbledore had shared the boy's location with him, and Severus had, from a distance, kept an eye on Harry and Sirius. When Harry had been seven years old, a Death Eater had found them, but before Sirius had known, Severus had met with the Death Eater, and destroyed him entirely. The look of surprise and betrayal in the man's eyes had been haunting, but Severus hadn't cared.

He had watched the light leave the man's eyes and destroyed the body completely using a spell that he had learnt from Voldemort. It had been so easy to kill the man, to admit to him that he had helped bring about the end of Voldemort, and it had made him feel happy.

Moments after destroying the body, Severus had made himself invisible as Sirius had emerged from his house, wand in hand, next to Minerva McGonagall. They had found nothing, and so assumed they were just being paranoid.

And now… now, Severus was watching Lily Potter grow, and when Black had started to teach, he had given him space. He still didn't like Black, but the more the year went on, the more Lily Potter began to look like her mother, and so he had insisted that he be a part of the team to create the potion to help her transition.

Lily would have never forgiven him if he had failed to protect her child… her daughter. So, Severus had contacted everyone he knew whom he could trust to help him, and he had further helped to create the potions Potter now used for her transition.

He was still working on a new potion. He was aware of the infliction called 'Depression' that Lily had been diagnosed with; Dumbledore told him everything, and Severus was close to curing it. It had been a challenge, but using his skills, he knew it wouldn't be long before Lily Potter wasn't suffering from Depression anymore.

He was also preparing himself to make himself known that he was never going to be a Death Eater, should the need arise. He was preparing everything, including anti venom potions, since that damned snake went everywhere with Voldemort.

Severus knew that he was risking his life, but for the love of Lily Evans, to keep her alive in her daughter… there was nothing Severus wouldn't do, even if it meant sacrificing his own life.

After all, there was nothing more powerful than love.