HELLO GUYS!
I split this chapter because it was getting too big, but I think you'll like it where it's headed at. The end is so close now. Thanks for keeping up with this journey with me. I have more story ideas that I'd like to write for PLL, so hang on for the ride.
With Love,
White Tigresss
Rule 20: Go back to the start
The morning light filtered softly through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the living room where Emily and Alison had spent the night on the couch. The previous evening had been a turning point for them, marked by a heartfelt kiss that reaffirmed their love and commitment. They had both fallen asleep contently in each other's arms, mindful of the injuries they sustained.
Emily stirred first, feeling the gentle rise and fall of Alison's breath against her. Alison had snuggled close, her head resting on Emily's good shoulder. The sensation was comforting, and Emily couldn't help but smile as she watched the sun's rays dance on Alison's golden hair, ignoring the slight discomfort that stemmed from her collarbone.
Slowly, Emily extricated herself from the cozy embrace, careful not to wake Alison. She made her way to the kitchen, determined to make breakfast for the two of them, the kiss they shared the night before still hanging on her lips. Any doubts inside her head were cast away. She felt Ali's love through the kiss.
Alison awoke to the smell of breakfast wafting through the apartment. Rubbing her eyes, she saw Emily moving around the kitchen, her movements relaxed and content. Alison took a moment to appreciate the sight of Emily taking care of them both. Her mind wandered to a future where they made breakfast for one another time after time. It felt so domestic and cozy, but Alison found herself liking it even more now.
"Good morning," Alison said softly, her voice still husky from sleep.
Emily turned around, a warm smile spreading across her face. "Good morning, Ali. I thought I'd make us breakfast."
Alison's eyes softened as she approached Emily, wrapping her arms around her from behind. "You didn't have to do that," she murmured, resting her chin on Emily's shoulder.
Emily chuckled, leaning into the embrace. "I wanted to. Besides, it's a small way to say thank you for last night."
Alison kissed Emily's neck, her heart swelling with emotion. "You don't have to thank me for taking care of you, Em."
Emily turned in Alison's arms, gazing into her eyes. "You've always had."
"And always will," Alison promised, holding Emily's gaze on her own before they kissed again.
(Emily got so distracted that she burned their toast.)
Alison adjusted her blazer, staring at her reflection in the mirror of her office. It had been a while since she'd worn something other than comfortable clothes, and for a brief moment, she felt like her old self again. Confident, in control. The way things should be. She took a deep breath, ready to dive back into her CEO duties. Today would be the day she reclaimed some sense of normalcy.
Just as she settled into her chair and opened her laptop, the door to her office swung open. Charlotte walked in, carrying a stack of folders.
"Morning, Ali," Charlotte greeted her with a too-bright smile. "Got these reports ready for you to review, but don't worry about it. Jason and I already handled most of the heavy lifting."
Alison blinked, trying to hide her frustration. "Thanks, Ce, but I can manage. I need to start getting back into the swing of things."
Charlotte hesitated before placing the folders on Alison's desk. "I know, but Jason and I agreed that we should ease you back into it. No need to rush. You've been through a lot, and we don't want to overwhelm you."
Alison clenched her jaw. "I appreciate your concern, but I'm not made of glass. I can handle my workload."
Before Charlotte could respond, Jason appeared in the doorway. "Hey, Ali! Charlotte already told you? Great. Just wanted to make sure you're not overdoing it. We've got everything under control, so take it easy, okay?"
Alison forced a smile, though inside she was seething. "You two don't have to treat me like I'm fragile. I've been running this company for years. I know what I'm doing."
Jason exchanged a glance with Charlotte before stepping into the office. "It's not that we don't trust you, Ali. We just don't want you to push yourself too hard, too soon. You've got to take care of your health first."
Alison's eyes flicked between them, feeling the walls closing in. "I get that, but I need this. I need to feel useful again."
Charlotte sighed softly, reaching out to touch Alison's arm. "You are useful, Ali. You always have been. But right now, your health comes first. We'll handle the rest. You don't have to do this alone."
The words, meant to be reassuring, only fueled the fire inside her. Alison pulled away from Charlotte's touch, standing up from her chair. "I'm not some helpless patient. I'm still capable of doing my job."
Jason held up his hands in a placating gesture. "We know that, but this isn't just about you anymore. We all need you to be okay, Ali. The company needs you, but we need you healthy even more."
Alison's shoulders slumped, the fight draining out of her. She felt trapped, caught between her siblings' concern and her own need to reclaim her life. She knew they meant well, but their coddling made her feel small, powerless.
"Fine," she muttered, sinking back into her chair. "I'll let you two handle it. But don't expect me to just sit here and do nothing."
Charlotte and Jason shared a relieved look before Jason clapped her on the shoulder. "Thanks, Ali. We'll make sure everything's under control."
As they left her office, Alison stared at the folders on her desk, untouched. Her hands itched to dive into the work, to lose herself in something productive. But the lingering feeling of being sidelined, of being treated like a burden, gnawed at her. She wasn't used to this—being protected, being told to step back.
She stared at the blank screen in front of her, feeling the weight of the past few months pressing down on her shoulders. The realization that her life might never return to what it once was hit her harder than she'd anticipated.
Alison closed her laptop and pushed the folders aside. Maybe they were right. Maybe she needed to figure out who she was without all the roles she used to fill. But that didn't make it any easier to accept.
As they moved through their recovery, Alison was finally allowed to return to some of her CEO functions. Jason and Charlotte had stepped up in the activities Alison used to conduct before the ordeal. They had also warned her that they would be more present in their executive roles because, due to her arrhythmia, Alison shouldn't handle the stress load by herself.
While Alison appreciated her siblings' concern, the idea of being babied in her own company didn't sit well with her. She understood that her new health condition required her to take better care of herself, but that didn't mean she was useless.
To make matters worse, Alison no longer had her CIA outlet. Her diagnosis had made her unfit for fieldwork, and she knew Lorenzo would never risk getting her back into action again.
In other words, Alison was bored with her new reality. And Emily picked up on that quickly. It wasn't hard to notice, not when she saw her girlfriend huffing on the couch over nothing.
"Alison, what's wrong?" Emily finally asked one day, sitting beside her.
"Nothing," the blonde huffed, turning away.
"You've been shutting down all week," Emily pointed out gently. "Did something happen at work?"
"Nothing happened at work, Em," Alison forced out, her voice tense. "I'm fine."
Emily studied Alison for a moment, recognizing the tension in her posture and the way she avoided eye contact. She knew she had to be firmer to get the truth out of her.
"Ali, we're not going to sleep until you tell me what's going on!" Emily pressed.
Alison's eyes widened slightly, panic flickering across her face at Emily's determination. Finally, she blurted out, "Fine! I'm tired of everyone treating me like a baby! CeCe and Jason barely let me do anything at work!"
"Alison, you've been shot! You've had a heart issue, and you almost died!" Emily responded, her voice softening with concern. "I can see why your siblings are worried about you."
"I know, Em, but it makes me feel so useless!" Alison cried out, her voice breaking. "I already can't go back to the CIA, and now, apparently, I can't go back to my day job either. What am I supposed to do now?!"
Emily sighed deeply. She understood what Alison was going through, having felt the same despair when she learned she could no longer swim competitively.
"Ali," Emily called softly, placing a reassuring hand on Alison's knee. "Remember what you said to me when I was upset about not being able to swim anymore?"
Alison looked at her, eyes brimming with tears, but remained silent.
"You told me it was just a chapter, not my whole story," Emily reminded her gently. "And you told me that I was still me—the strong and incredible woman you knew. That goes for you too, Ali. You'll have to adapt to your new reality, but you're still the same fearless and amazing woman I fell in love with. And I know you're going to make it through this."
Alison nodded, tears streaming down her face. "It's just… the CIA has been such a big part of who I was. I find it hard to move on without that thrill."
Emily wrapped her arms around Alison, pulling her close and pressing her head to her chest. "I know. But I'm here for you, and we're going to figure this out together."
Alison exhaled shakily, her breath warming Emily's chest. "God, I love you so much," she whispered, her voice raw with emotion.
"I love you too, Ali," Emily murmured, pressing her nose into Alison's soft blonde hair as she held her close for the night.
Yet, Alison's outburst set Emily's mind into motion. She had an idea, she just didn't know if she'd be able to pull off just yet.
Alison sat at the kitchen table, her fingers drumming impatiently against the smooth surface. The conversation with Emily had calmed her down, but it hadn't erased the frustration simmering beneath the surface. She knew Emily was right—adapting to this new reality would take time. But patience had never been her strong suit, especially when it came to feeling like she wasn't in control of her own life.
The door creaked open, and Alison looked up to see Emily walk in, carrying two cups of coffee. Emily placed one in front of Alison, then took a seat across from her.
"You okay?" Emily asked, her voice gentle but probing.
Alison nodded, though she knew Emily could see through her attempt to appear fine. "I'm trying to be."
Emily reached across the table, placing her hand on top of Alison's. "I know it's hard, Ali. But we'll figure this out."
Alison looked into Emily's eyes and found solace in the sincerity she saw there. Still, the feeling of helplessness gnawed at her. "I just… I hate feeling like this. I've always been able to handle things, and now it's like I'm being sidelined."
"I get that," Emily said, squeezing Alison's hand. "But you don't have to handle everything on your own. It's okay to let people help, even if it feels like they're hovering too much."
Alison sighed, sipping her coffee. "I know. I just wish they'd trust me more, you know? It's like they're waiting for me to break."
"You're not going to break," Emily replied firmly. "But maybe you could talk to them about how you're feeling. Set some boundaries."
Alison nodded, considering the idea. "Maybe. It's worth a shot."
There was a pause, and then Emily's lips curved into a small smile. "Maybe this is the right time for you to focus on something you actually enjoy, like some hobby or project you didn't have time for before."
Alison raised an eyebrow. "What are you thinking?"
Emily shrugged. "Maybe something that makes you feel like you're in charge again. I don't know—planning something, organizing, anything that puts you in control."
Alison tilted her head, the idea catching her off guard. "You think that'd help?"
"You've always been the kind of person who thrives on taking charge," Emily said with a mischievous smile, remembering all the delicious ways Alison liked to take charge. "Maybe finding something that lets you channel that energy could help. Besides, it might get your mind off everything else for a bit."
Alison felt a flush rise to her cheeks but couldn't help smiling at Emily's teasing. "Maybe I'll give it a try."
Emily smiled, leaning over to kiss Alison on the forehead. "That's the spirit."
Alison felt a small sense of relief wash over her. It wasn't a solution to all her problems, but it was a start. She glanced at Emily, grateful for her unwavering support. "Thanks, Em. For everything."
Emily squeezed her hand again. "We're in this together, Ali. Always."
They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, sipping their coffee and enjoying the quiet morning. For the first time in a while, Alison felt a glimmer of hope. She wasn't sure what the future held, but with Emily by her side, she knew she could face it.
Despite their earlier conversation, Emily continued to sense Alison's boredom and restlessness over the past week. When an opportunity arose, she decided to visit the Carissimi Group's headquarters to seek out Spencer. She was the only one who could help Emily with her new idea.
Gaining access to the building was easy; everyone knew her, her face was stamped everywhere in the office, plus she was recognized as the boss's girlfriend, which gave her a bit of leeway.
Finding Spencer's office didn't take long. Spencer's surprise was evident when she saw Emily enter.
"Emily? I didn't expect to see you here. Alison's at the doctor's right now," Spencer said, looking puzzled and believing it to be a mistake. She hadn't expected that Emily would look for her aside from legal advice.
"I know," Emily replied with a reassuring nod. "I came to see you."
"Oh, okay," Spencer said, a hint of confusion still lingering. "Did you remember something about the case, or is it something related to your contract? We'll continue your sponsorship until—"
"Spencer, it's not about that," Emily interjected gently. "I wanted to talk about Alison."
"What's going on? Is she missing her medication?" Spencer asked, concern evident in her voice. Spencer knew that Alison could be stubborn. She hoped the blonde hadn't been a pain in the ass for Emily. "I can call her and make sure she doesn't miss any doses."
Emily chuckled softly at Spencer's protective nature. The bond between Spencer and Alison was endearing. It quickly turned bittersweet as she remembered she believed she had something similar in Aria only to find out that she'd never known her all along. But Emily quickly shook her thoughts away and focused back on their conversation.
"She's not skipping her meds, I assure you," Emily said quickly. "It's just that... I've been thinking about how Alison is coping without being in the field. It's really taking a toll on her. Is there any way she could still be involved in some investigative work, even if it's not on the field?"
Spencer's expression grew serious, and she sighed deeply. "Emily, I understand where you're coming from, but there's not much we can do. Alison can't be on the field due to her medical condition. Lorenzo would never risk her health."
"I know. I don't want her back in the field either," Emily confessed. Her father had served in the Army, and she had seen firsthand how it affected her mother. She never wanted that for her partner or herself. "What I'm suggesting is something that allows her to investigate without putting herself in harm's way. Like starting a private investigation agency!"
Spencer considered this for a moment before responding. "That could be feasible. She could focus on intellectual tasks and paperwork rather than fieldwork. But, Emily, why are you so determined? An agency like that might be difficult for her to get into because of her public profile."
"Well, she could start her own agency," Emily proposed, surprising Spencer. The agent had expected Emily would want Alison to settle down once and for all. But it seemed that Emily could see how Alison loved to be an agent and that she somehow supported that yearning.
Emily breathed hard as she thought it through once again. Money and time wouldn't be an issue for Alison, and having her own agency would let her control her schedule and satisfy her need for action. Emily liked the idea—it felt like something out of a Hollywood film.
"Emily, it could work," Spencer finally admitted slowly. "But consider this: Alison's secrecy nearly destroyed your relationship. Are you sure you want to go down that path again?"
"I've thought about it, Spence," Emily said, her voice firm. "If I know about everything from the beginning, there won't be any secrets. And honestly, I'm not doing much better with my own time right now," she added, reflecting on her own forced retirement.
"Investigative work isn't just a Hollywood script," Spencer cautioned. "Even if you both stay out of the field, things can still go wrong."
"I understand, Spence," Emily responded. "But I want to do this for Alison—and for myself. You have to admit, I've got the basics down. After all, I was the first one to get to Aria."
Spencer swallowed hard as she was forced down a notch. She still couldn't believe how Emily figured out the case faster than her., "Fine! If you think it's worth a try, let me see how I can help you with that."
Emily's face lit up with a grin, her eyes sparkling with hope. "Thanks so much, Spencer!"
Spencer gave a resigned huff. "Don't make me regret this."
"I promise you won't," Emily assured with a warm smile. "Just keep it under wraps for now. I want it to be a surprise for Alison."
"Alright," Spencer agreed, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. "And Em?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for loving Alison, even with all her complexities."
Emily nodded, touched by Spencer's words. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
As Emily left Spencer's office, her mind buzzed with plans and possibilities. She would map everything out and then present her idea to Alison. She didn't know how the blonde would react, but she hoped she would see the same as her: that this new agency could be a way for them to work and grow together.
While Emily was talking to Spencer, Alison was at her doctor's appointment with Wren. Given her public persona, she had the privilege of consulting directly with him, a benefit she didn't take for granted.
Wren asked how she had been feeling over the past few weeks and took her vitals. Considering everything she'd been through, Alison was doing remarkably well. However, she still needed to take her meds and monitor her arrhythmia closely.
Then, Wren said something that caught her slightly off guard:
"You're now clear for physical activity," he announced, glancing at her chart. "But don't overexert yourself. And definitely not going back into the field."
"Alright," Alison nodded, then hesitated before adding with a slight flush, "By physical activity, do you mean…"
Wren, recognizing the familiar question, smiled slightly. "Yes, Ali, you're free to have sex. Just don't get too freaky. You're still not completely off the hook."
Despite the relief and excitement that came with this news, Alison couldn't shake her restlessness. Sex would carry significant weight in her relationship with Emily, especially after everything they had been through. It would symbolize that they had repaired their trust and were building a new foundation for their love.
As she sat in the backseat of the taxi on her way home, Alison's thoughts spun. She wondered how Emily would react. Part of her considered keeping it a secret, but she had promised Emily—no more lies. Plus, it was something Emily deserved to know.
Even though things were better between them, Alison couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt for the strain she had put on their relationship by not being upfront about her job at the CIA. Deep down, she still struggled with the feeling that she didn't deserve Emily's love.
Alison found Emily in the kitchen when she got back home. They'd relied on friends and takeout through most of their recovery, but now that Emily was almost fully healed, she'd taken over cooking duties—something Alison deeply appreciated.
She paused in the doorway, watching her girlfriend move around the kitchen. How could she ever measure up to someone as amazing as Emily? In spite of her own pain, Emily had stuck by her side through thick and thin. Most people would have run the opposite way, but not Emily. Alison still couldn't forgive herself for all the hurt she'd caused.
Emily's thoughts seemed far away as she hummed along with the music playing softly in the background. When she finally noticed Alison standing there, she smiled warmly.
"Ali!" Emily greeted her with a quick peck on the lips. "Why didn't you call me?"
"You were so cute, dancing around making dinner," Alison grinned. "I didn't have the heart to interrupt you."
Emily blushed. "It's almost done, by the way. I wanted to surprise you, but you got home first."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your surprise."
"You didn't ruin anything," Emily said, capturing Ali's mouth in another kiss. But this time, she noticed the hesitation. Usually, Alison would pull her closer, but now she stood still in Emily's arms, almost like she was afraid to move.
"Is everything okay?" Emily asked, pulling back slightly.
"Yes," Alison nodded, but her eyes said otherwise.
"How was your appointment?"
"It was good."
"Ali," Emily called her out gently. "We promised—no more lies, remember?"
Alison swallowed hard before finally admitting, "Wren said I'm clear for light exercise."
"That's great!" Emily smiled, though she couldn't understand why Alison seemed so nervous about it.
"This includes... sex," Alison whispered, her voice so quiet Emily almost didn't catch it. But now she understood. Ali was worried. They hadn't been intimate since everything had happened, and the weight of that first time back was clearly on her mind.
Emily softened, her heart aching for her girlfriend. She could feel the waves of self-doubt crashing over Alison. And she knew Ali was probably feeling disconnected from her own body, especially with the scars left behind by surgery.
Taking a gentle approach, Emily smirked. "So, you're back in the field now, huh?"
Alison frowned. "I'm not back in the field. I have you."
"Do you want us to... you know... do it now?" Emily teased lightly, raising an eyebrow. She wouldn't mind, but she knew Ali wasn't ready yet.
"No!" Alison blurted out, then blushed fiercely. She felt like a teenager again, so awkward and unsure. "I just thought you should know so we can talk about it. But I'd never pressure you into anything, Em."
"I know, Ali," Emily whispered, wrapping her arms around Alison's shoulders and pressing their foreheads together. "Don't be so hard on yourself. We'll do this together, at our own pace."
"I love you so much," Alison murmured before kissing her. This time, Emily felt the connection in their kiss, the sincerity. And then an idea sparked in her mind.
Breaking the kiss, Emily trailed her lips to Alison's ear, nibbling on her earlobe before whispering, "Why don't you seduce me?"
Alison stared at her, flabbergasted. "What?"
Emily smiled, her eyes twinkling with the playful spark Alison had always loved. "I just thought it would be a good idea to go back to the beginning. We started with you giving me seduction lessons, and it could be fun to revisit that."
Alison remained silent, still processing Emily's suggestion. The idea of reliving their past, especially something so intimate, took her by surprise. But the more she thought about it, the more she liked it. However, her lack of immediate reaction made Emily pull back.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be manipulative. I just thought it would be fun—"
Before she could finish, Alison pulled her close, capturing her lips in a kiss. When they finally broke apart, Alison whispered against her lips, "I like the idea. You just caught me by surprise, that's all."
Emily's relief was palpable. "So, you'll do it?"
"I will," Alison nodded, squeezing Emily tighter in her arms. "But not like we did back then."
Emily frowned in confusion. "Why not?"
"Because back then, I was teaching you how to seduce someone. Now, I want to show you how much I love you. It's not just about sex anymore—it's about love and intimacy."
Emily's smile widened as she took in Alison's words. In that moment, she could see just how much they had both grown. "So, show me, Ali," she murmured, leaning closer. "And then I'll show you just how much you're loved."
They kissed again, sealing their promise, and this time, there was no hesitation—just the warmth of their love and the unspoken understanding that they were in this together.
