ZP-Style review: Hamster and Gretel

Is there really nothing else worthwhile in terms of animation anymore? Oh, alright then, here we go. Hamster and Gretel. No, it's not Disney's take on that age-old fairy tale that warns kids not to accept candy from old hags living in gingerbread houses in the middle of the woods, though that wouldn't surprise me in the golden age of animated Disney movies. It is instead a show about a super-powered third-grader and her equally super-powered pet; a concept so ridiculous it could only be the brainchild of Dan Povenmire.

Yes, the smart kid in class is at it again, only this time, he's working a solo project. No Swampy around this time. Where Hailey's on It felt like someone copying the smart kid's test and still getting all the answers wrong, Hamster and Gretel feels like the smart kid starting a brand-new project, only using the same materials that they used to make the other two that they worked on. To be fair, that was kind of a given. When your first project turns out to be a school legend, it is only expected that they try to capture lightning in a bottle again. No wonder DTVA won't let Phineas and Ferb end.

But enough of stroking Dan's ego, (DTVA does that too much already) what is this show actually about? As I said before, an elementary schooler named Gretel and her pet hamster that is also called Hamster, because we have to get that not-so-clever pun in somehow, are given super-powers by aliens. Gee, haven't seen aliens before in a Povenmire production, have we? Torchwood were wrong to set up in Cardiff. All the aliens seem to be coming to Danville. Maybe Captain Jack Sillyman should pack his bags and move across the pond.

Anyway, those same aliens then tell Hamster and Gretel to use their powers for good, while at the same time, giving powers to other random plebs and telling them to use their powers for evil, because we have to have super-villains in our superhero show somehow. It is always said that a superhero is only as good as their rogues gallery, so what do Hamster and Gretel have to contend with? We've got Professor Exclamation, or as I like to call him, bargain bin Doctor Eggman. Fist Puncher and the Destructress, twins where one is an influencer and the other….likes to break things. A woman that can control onions. There was a spider-woman villain at some point, because reasons. There's a marionette puppeteer that plays on your fears. A lucha libre wrestler, someone with a clam for a head. Is this seriously the best you could come up with? Most of these I had to look up. They're not that memorable. Villains should be a reflection on the hero stopping them, not something that came into your head after having too many pints at the local watering hole. I know it's just a cartoon and it isn't meant to be taken seriously, but couldn't you at least try?

Let's steer away from the superhero antics in this superhero show for a while. What have we got in terms of romance? I have to discuss this, it's in the contract. This time around, there's only one pairing, and it barely shows up, and that is the real MVP of this show, Kevin Grant-Gomez, Gretel's older teen brother, and his crush, Hiromi Tanaka. To go on a tangent for a bit, Kevin doesn't get enough credit. Without him, Hamster and Gretel would be helpless. He's the man in the van. Literally. He takes them everywhere in a knock-off Vanzilla. He's the man with a plan. Sorry, Lincoln Loud, you've been dethroned. He's the voice of reason, the glue keeping the superhero team together. He even blows off his first date with Hiromi to help out the duo. That is how a sibling should act. The Loud sisters should be here taking notes, especially you, Lynn! Anyway, the romance between Kevin and Hiromi is there, but I suspect it's purely out of obligation. Where Phineas and Ferb had this cute/creepy thing between Phineas and Isabella, and Milo Murphy's Law had two main pairings in the form of Milo/Amanda and Zack/Melissa (that last one is debatable), I could count the number of episodes where Kevin and Hiromi's will-they-won't-they dynamic is in play on one hand. Dan is keeping the focus where it belongs; on the super-heroic action, and he should be commended for it. See that, Star Versus? That is how you do it!

In conclusion, Hamster and Gretel plays out like a typical Dwampyverse outing; spontaneous musical numbers, catchphrases, villains with comical and ridiculous backstories no-one's meant to take seriously, but what's this I see over the horizon? An over-arching plot with high stakes. Yes, there's some greater evil out there, and it takes the form of mechanical eyeballs. At least they're not attached to a floating triangle with a bowtie, or we'd have some really bad times. It turns out the aliens wanted to train Hamster and Gretel up so they can fight and defeat this threat, and I am once again reminded that this universe is in constant peril. Where are the Avengers when you need them? Kudos to you, Dan. You've delivered once again, showing the young whipper-snappers how it's done, and how to get what you want from DTVA executives. *sees the ever-elusive MML Season 3*. Most of the time. This education professional gives Hamster and Gretel an A

Author's note: Yes, I've seen the D drop of Hamster and Gretel episodes, and thought I should do this, seeing as I didn't think of it when Hamster and Gretel first came out. As much as I adore Dan's method of making cartoons, I can't help but feel like he's backed himself into a corner. Now he's cursed to keep making his shows in this way because Phineas and Ferb was such a smash hit. While it is pleasing to the eyes and ears, eventually the bread will get stale. Come on, DTVA, let him experiment a bit. The usual disclaimers, I own nothing. All properties belong to their respective owners. Enjoy.