I yawned, leaning out on the balcony into the night air, exhausted from all the war strategising. Last night, the boys had discussed going to get the Book, only for Rhys to dismiss this idea once he realised it was contained in the Spring Court.
I had kept my shields up against him all night as I pondered the idea. As I wrestled with my feelings of inadequacy to this kingdom. To putting them in danger.
"Are you okay? You've been very quiet." Rhys said warmly, wrapping his arms around my waist. I shuddered at his warmth.
"Of course. I just want you to be safe from this war." I leaned into his chest.
"I wish I could bring the danger to me instead of you and the others." I pouted, anxiety in my chest.
Rhys growled softly at my words.
"Feyre, I will do everything in my power to protect you." He said seriously. He sighed. "It will be okay. It'll be over and we will all party together every night."
I leaned back into his large chest, wishing it to be true.
"Come, let's go to dinner." He whispered in my ear.
Rhys lifted his glass to his lips, drinking his wine. Azriel and Cassian chatted across from each other, Mor seated next to Azriel, picking at grapes.
I sat at the far end of the table next to Cassian, lost in thought. I felt Rhys send mild concern down the bond at my quietness tonight. I reassured him, sipping my own wine as the others chatted. I slammed my shields back up.
Rhys and Azriel chatted about strategy of defeating Hybern and allies.
I felt agitated. Lost. I felt like a damsel compared to my families strengths. The same damsel that Tamlin locked up helpless. I needed to prove my worth. My strength.
I sipped on my wine slowly, lost in thought.
I small thud hit my head. I looked up in confusion, watching a grape roll away on the table. Mor stared at me, rolling her eyes, as Cassian deliberately looked towards the other end of the table in feigned innocent.I fought a smile as I scolded him.
"Wow really mature." I leaned on my elbow.
He turned to look at me in fake confusion before a smirk broke over his face and he chuckled. Mor punched his arm lightly.
I could feel Rhys's eyes lingering on me across the table, even as he spoke in conversation with Azriel. I could tell he was curious as to why my shields were up. I didn't need him hearing my inner monologue.
I gazed at my family. Azriel and Cassian, the two fiercest yet most loyal protectors. Mor's warmth and love. And Rhys's power and protection. I did not deserve them.
I had thought about it last night all night but I made a decision now.
I would sneak into the Spring Court, get the Book, and return back unseen. I would need to bide my time well, make sure Rhys was away. Keep my distance from Cassian and Azriel's sharp eyes. I would prove I wasn't a damsel and a target to this family. I wasn't Tamlin's bitch anymore.
I reached for the wine bottle, topping Mor's glass up. She smiled gratefully.
"God Cassian." I set the wine bottle down in relief as my arm stopped aching.
"Your training is killing me." I smiled.
He chuckled deeply.
"Hey you are welcome. You're getting strong, Feyre." He raised an eyebrow.
I tilted my head. "Tough enough to take you on." I murmured.
His eyes widened in amusement before throwing his head back in a jovial exclamation.
"Sure, Feyre. Let's try tomorrow then, tough guy." We laughed in unison, Mor joining in.
"It's on." I said.
Cassian was right. I was stronger now. My powers were stronger and my body fitter. I could take Tamlin if I needed to. My rage alone would be enough.
"What are you three chuckling at down there?" Rhys said smoothly, Azriel pausing from their conversation to look.
"Feyre's cracking jokes" Cassian muttered as I shot him a glare.
Rhys shook his head in humour.
"Tomorrow I will go discuss finding other potential tactics and allies against Hybern with the other High Lords." He said with authority. My eyes pricked up.
"How long will you be gone?" I said matter of factly. Rhys's eyes narrowed very briefly.
"Only a day." He said. I could feel his knocking on my shields. I kept them up. I smiled at him, seated at the other end of the table. I leaned against my chair, crossing my legs casually.
"God, I feel sorry for you Rhys, having to suck up to more asses. Would be so much more satisfying slicing through the spring court for the Book." Cassian said smugly.
Rhys chuckled.
"Maybe after the war we can just for fun." Azriel said darkly, laughing in unison with Rhys and Cassian.
I would beat them to it. With Rhys gone tomorrow, I would be back in a day. I would prove my strength.
All conversation in the room halted.
I looked up in confusion, darkness bleeding through the room.
Rhys's expression was furious. His hands gripped the chair arms so tightly the wood groaned in response. His nostrils flared.
My mouth dropped open in realisation.
My shields weren't up.
