Super Science
Ch 17: Interview
Over the past two weeks, Egon and Izuku were able to interview every last person set up by Professor Cephalopod and Doctor Orpington. Each person came on a different day and the interviewer changed from Izuku or Egon when one of them wasn't busy. Rarely was it to have both, and like before, Egon told Cephalopod and Orpington to take a back seat on this one, much to their dismay.
The very first person they interviewed was an older Japanese woman with short black hair, a muscular yet chunky body, and a blue eye with one covered in an eye patch. Today's interviewer was Izuku who skimmed through her background and her resume.
"So Ms. Copayash Cho, it says you're 40 years old?", He asked as the woman nodded. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I'm not judging you because of your age. Just curious why you would be looking for a new job.", Izuku assured her, already thinking about the worst-case scenario with his question.
She thought for a minute then explained, "Well I felt like I needed a change of pace, and retired life just wasn't cutting it for me. It's more something to keep me busy. As I am sure you saw, I have several degrees in manufacturing, construction, and research."
Izuku confirmed with a nod and glancing at her resume said, "I did. So what exactly did you do for work before this?"
"I was a decorated war veteran, purple heart.", She told him nonchalantly.
"War veteran!", Izuku exclaimed while nearly falling out of his seat.
Cho then took out a few items from her bag and placed them in front of him. The first was a picture of her in full uniform and covered in medals. The next was a purple heart certificate. Izuku had to blink several times to ensure he saw this correctly.
In a small voice, he said, "Oh my goodness!"
"Due to my aid in the battle of Criss Crossing by hot wiring the enemy tank and using it against them. That's where I lost my eye. I was able to bring the battle machine back, take it apart, see how it was made, and draw up schematics for us to use.", She spun her short tale with a nostalgic tone.
"That's incredible!", Izuku exclaimed while pushing his hair back. He then stood up and saluted her while stating, "Well ma'am allow me to say thank you for your services and you're hired!"
Cho stood up with a smile and saluted him back.
A few days later Egon was the one to interview the next person who came. A tall, scruffy, and scrappy man with pink hair and golden eyes, covered in grease and oil with many tears in his clothing. In short, he did not look ready for an interview. His smile was big and proud, his excitement palpable, his eyes alert or eye. Since he only had one, and the other with a small portion of his face was covered up in a mechanical replacement.
Wary of him already, Egon looked through both his background check and resume. After a bit of thought he broached the topic, asking, "Mr Shishi Hatsume, it says here you had some…problematic behavior with your other workplace. Care to explain your side of the story?"
He smiled while proudly pointing a thumb at himself and explaining, "Ah yes! You see I don't mean to toot my own horn but I consider myself somewhat of an out-of-the-box genius!"
"Go on.", Egon prompted him.
"So I like to do things and test things that others don't or won't do! So that got me into a lot of trouble!", He continues.
"I see.", Egon confirms.
He then sighs while shrugging and saying, "So they fired me! But whatever I did, I got results even if they did explode three or ten times! That's also how I replaced one of my eyes!"
"Uh huh.", Egon replied while narrowing his eyes.
"If you are still not convinced, allow me to show you one of my inventions!", He offered while taking something from inside his overalls and placing it on the table while exclaiming, "Ta-da!"
Egon narrows his eyes as he observes aloud, "A toy sci-fi gun?"
In front of him was what looked like a plastic ray gun with paint and stickers to make it appear appealing to children.
Hatsume giggles and tells him, "That's just to make it appear less threatening. Allow me to demonstrate."
He then pointed the toy at a small potted plant and shot. A beam came out, grabbed the plant, and pulled it right to his hand.
The only thing Egon could say was, "Wow."
"It's a tractor beam!", Hatsume said in a sing-song tone before things went wrong.
As soon as the plant went to him, several other random things started to shift before flying at him and attaching to his body alongside Egon who was pulled right out of his seat! From there, he was pressed front to front with Hatsume, nose to nose in a very awkward position!
The two of them looked at one another for a long while before saying with a coy tone, "Oh sir, I didn't know you cared."
"Turn. It's. off!", Egon growled at him.
He flicked the off switch and all the attracted items including Egon finally fell or broke away.
Egon grunts at him and Hatsume chuckles nervously while saying, "It might still have a few bugs."
After straightening out his lab coat and fixing his glasses, he tells the man, "If we hire you then you'll have to be monitored, not have any interactions with others while working, and be placed in a highly secure room so you don't cause too much destruction."
"Sounds perfect to me!", Hatsume answered in zeal.
After brushing himself off, Egon extends his hand and says, "Well welcome aboard Mr. Hatsume. Please don't make me regret this decision.", He told him in a flat tone as Hatsume was shaking his hand excitedly.
A week after that, the next newcomer came and was interviewed by Izuku. Once again with a background check and resume on hand he looked over everything she had and he liked what he saw so far. The interviewee was a young woman in her mid-20s with long straight blond hair, green eyes, a mix of yellow and pink accessories, and glasses, and appeared to be mixed Japanese and Spanish. She seemed to be very excitable and always had a bright smile on her face the whole time.
Before Izukus could say anything, the woman spoke out and told him I'm an elated tone, "First of all I'd just like to thank you for giving me this opportunity, sir!"
"Thank you for coming out here Ms….Aiko Miyazaki.", Izuku replied while making sure to pronounce her name correctly.
She giggles and waves her hand while offering, "Oh please, call me Honey Lemon. All my friends do."
"Well Honey Lemon, I like what I see so far. You have many degrees and credentials to go with it.", Izuku complimented her as he looked over her resume.
"Thank you, I worked very hard to get them.", Honey Lemon said back with a proud smile.
"I'd just like to ask-.", Izuku began before she suddenly cut in again.
"Oh! And if you're unsure about my abilities. I bought something with me to show you. Do you have anything made of metal?", She asked while digging through her enormous shoulder bag.
Izuku was a bit unsure but allowed curiosity to take over and he went to his comlink, talking over he called into the facility, "Can someone bring me something made of metal we don't need?", He then pushed the speaker button again and stated firmly, "And not a Mimicutie this time, please."
A few minutes later an in-process robot, created by Doctor Orpington, walked in with a sheet of metal. Once it stood the solid piece up it left and Honey Lemon finally found what she was searching for. She jumped to the metal sheet and began to spray it with something that came out of a pink-colored spray bottle. After several sprays, it left a pink mist hanging all around it. From there she pulled out another device that electricity charged the air around the mist and instantly turned the metal slab pink.
"Ta-da!", Honey Lemon proclaimed.
"So…pink.", Izuku observed while trying not to sound unimpressed.
She chuckled excitedly and said in a sing-song tone, "Here's the best part."
She then walked up to the pink metal and touched it with only her index finger. Right away the sheet seemed to explode in a pink cloud all around them! Some of it was dusting Izuku's face, hair, and coat.
"Woah.", Was the only thing he could say in amazement.
"I know right? Chemical metal embrittlement!", Honey Lemon exclaimed in zeal as she took over her pink-colored glasses and tried to brush off her pink outfit.
Izuku quickly dusts himself off and sticking out his hand he tells her, "Well, Honey Lemon. You're hired."
Honey Lemon squealed in delight and began to rapidly shake Izuku's hand while half yelling, "Oh thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!", Though she quickly realized how hard and rough she was shaking him and stopped while apologetically saying, "Oh! I'm sorry."
The next day Egon took up the next interview and was met with a man whose features were hard to pin down since several parts of him kept changing to different animals. The only constant thing was his green eyes and brown hair.
Looking at his record and resume, Egon inquired, "Mr. Anima Genus, it says on your resume that you were a zoologist. Why come to work here."
Genus looked like he was resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he explained, "My previous work had me only studying animals and their environments, behavior, and nothing else. I wanted to try and find a new way to help animals with adjusting to new environments and bolster the population. Not dig through rhino dung to study their diet! I thought about changing my career choices for that and here I am."
"I can understand your frustration.", Egon sympathizes with the man before looking and thinking things over before saying, "Well, consider yourself hired."
Two days after that both Izuku and Egon were able to collaborate on the next interview. With the information in hand, the two men say across from their next potential employee. It was a short stout woman of African descent. Her skin was colored like soil and freckles decorate her cheeks, and her hair was a giant blush that was shaped like an afro.
Egon was the first to start by saying, "Mrs. Pamela Hollyhock. I'm a bit concerned with what I've found out about you.", She raised an eyebrow as he continued and asked her, "You created a literal monster Venus flytrap and it ate three people. Care to explain that?"
She huffed at that then answered, "Well honey, back when I worked at the Tokyo Botanical Research Facility, I had told my coworkers to not come into one of the greenhouses for a while as I was working on a special self-made assignment. Took it up with the whole chain of commands and they okayed it. But a couple of yahoos tried to sneak in to steal it to take credit. And we'll, you can guess what happened after. So I had to take the blame and got canned."
Izuku whistles in shock and amazement and says, "Woof. What a deal breaker. I hate it when companies do nothing to protect their employees from the prospect of saving face.", Hollyhock nods in reply. Izuku then goes off track and says, "I can't say that those people deserved it, but if you get killed by a stationary plant, then at that point it's natural selection."
He looks at Egon and he shrugs nonchalantly.
Hollyhock hums and agrees, "I hear ya, honey."
"I do have one more concern to bring up. Your hair. Nothing wrong with it, it's just…well I'm sure I don't have to tell you that a work environment like this has many dangers including machinery and chemicals. I wouldn't want you to get hurt.", Egon attempted to tell her as nicely as he could.
She smiles and with waves assures him, "Not to worry sweetie. I can control all plant life."
With a twitch of her head and her afro sinks and morphs into long braid-like veins. She then wiggles her index finger and the potted plant on Egon's desk grows so large and fast that it breaks its pot and sprouts cut white flowers.
The two men watch this in awe before looking at one another in amazement, then back to her where Egon proclaimed, "Wow! Well, you're hired!"
On the last day of the two weeks, Egon took hold of the last interview and was very confused going in. It was an interview for one, but there were three different jobs. Was one person trying to do three jobs? It made no sense and Professor Cephalopod, who set it up, was no help in explaining it. Just being vague with a knowing and entertained glance.
When he got to his office he was even more confused when he was beset by three identical people. All females in their 30s, tall, thin, blue eyes, and black hair. All wearing the same clothes and in fact, they all looked exactly like one another apart from the style of their hair. The one on the right had long hair in curls at the ends. The one in the middle had medium hair in ringlets. The one on the left had short hair that was side swept.
All three girls, upon seeing Egon, all got up and bowed deeply to him while saying in scary unison, "Greetings sir."
Egon was taken aback and didn't know how to reply to this. Which gave the girls more than enough time to introduce themselves.
"I'm Morgan.", Said the girl with long hair.
"I'm Megan.", Said the girl with medium hair.
"And I'm Millicent.", Said the girl with short hair.
Egon took note of how all their voices sounded the same and after adjusting himself to the uncomfortableness he greeted back while asking, "Nice to meet you girls as well. So you're all looking to become my organizer, secretary, and receptionist respectfully, yes?", He then looked down at his hands that held their resume and he observed aloud, "But you only gave me one resume. Why is that?"
"We are one person.", All three answered in unison.
Egon raised an eyebrow and asked, "Sorry? What do you mean?"
The three girls then closed their eyes and began to vibrate faster and faster until they became three blurry images! The three melded into one and after the vibrating stopped, there stood a beautiful woman like the three girls before. She had the same face, eyes, and everything apart from her hair which was long and straight.
The woman bowed and in the same voice but with a different tone, greeted, "Hello sir, my name is Morgan Lafell. My quirk grants me the ability to split my body and consciousness in three ways. I've done this so many times up to the point where my other personalities do not like being in one body for too long."
Egon blinks a few times and replies, "This makes a lot more sense.", After adjusting himself he tells the woman, "While I understand the fact you are three people with one body, by law, I can only pay you one salary."
"That was to be expected.", Morgan agreed with a nod.
Egon looked over her resume and after a bit of thought he said, "Well, I like what I see in your resume. So you're hired."
Egon looked up from the paper only to see the three girls again as they spoke in unison, "Thank you very much, sir!"
Egon had to repress the urge to freak out, and instead forcefully blew out air to stay calm as he muttered, "That's gonna need some getting used to."
After the two weeks had ended, Egon called for all the interviewees to attend a meeting at the facility a few days later on their first official day of work. Everyone had gathered in the front entry loft where talk was a buzz in the area as everyone got to know one another. Though the talking quickly subsided when Egon and Izuku walked into the room.
"Everyone, everyone please gather around.", Egon called as everyone present formed a circle around the two men. Egon cleared his throat and announced, "As the owner and operator of the Teostra Research Laboratory, I would just like to be the first to say welcome and congratulations. It is a pleasure to have each one of you here working with us.", Everyone clapped in response with some jumping for joy, whistling, or laughing. Egon put up his hand and once quite again he said, "I expect to see great things and greater achievements from all of you. I hope you can make me proud."
"Yes sir!", Everyone announced in unison.
Egon clapped his hands and stated, "Great to hear. Now if any of you have questions or concerns regarding anything, please bring it up with me or the Vice President Doctor Midoryia.", He motions to the small boy beside him who looked like a frightened dog that just got yelled at for pooping inside the house. No hands went up, much to Izuku's relief. Public speaking was never a skill for him. That is until Hollyhock raised her hand.
Izuku gulped and steadied himself as he called out, "Yes."
"How exactly did you two run this place? It's huge and has been in operation for weeks, how'd you do it?", She asked the two men.
The two of them looked at one another before smiling as Egon answered, "I'm glad you asked because I was thinking of a way to tell you all that. Before all of you, we had two others helping us. They'll be your senior coworkers, and I warned you they are a bit strange."
All the people looked at him confused or like he was crazy making Egon sweat drop at seeing them not understand.
Izuku tugged on his sleeve and offered, "Maybe it would be better if we just showed them.", Izuku then went over to the front desk phone and pushed the facility speaker button, he called, "Professor Cephalopod and Doctor Orpington, please come to the main foyer."
After putting the phone down they were all struck with the sound of something very fast speed down the hallway and towards their direction! After finding the source they all stepped away from the hallway as they heard two voices yelling at each other! Both getting closer and closer with each word.
"Slow down you pompous poultry!", Professor Cephalopod screamed in fright.
"I can't! You're slimy fish bowl fried my controls!", Doctor Orpington screamed back at him as she attempted to gain control over her cart.
"We're gonna crash!", The professor yelled as one of the foyer walls zoomed into view.
"I'm gonna die!", Crowed the Doctor in terror.
Suddenly the mechanical cart crashed into the wall at top speed with bits of parts, metal, glass, and water flying all over the place as everyone jumped out of the way, covered themselves up, or watched in a mixture of awe and horror! The last thing of all to happen in the chaos was a single wheel that rolled out from the wreckage and spun around to stop on the floor in front of them.
"What was that!?", the Morgana triplets asked in unison.
"Your...coworkers.", Egon drowned.
The two animals managed to pull themselves out from the wreckage and stubble into view. Luckily it did seem like they were hurt, just dazed from the impact. Otto was the first to shake out his stupor and saw that they were being looked at by all the new employees with confusion. Adjusting himself and his translator he saw his compatriot and tried to get her back into motion.
He slapped the doctor's back and stated, "Put yourself to getting Penny Henny! Our new work associates are here and you're making us look bad!"
"My brain feels like pudding.", Cluck replied in a dazed tone, with swirls in her eyes.
Foregoing trying to help her, he turned around and after clearing his throat he introduced himself, "Greetings everyone, my name is Professor Otto Cephalopod. It's a pleasure to be working together with so many intelligent minds. And the half-dead bird you see is my associate, Doctor Cluck Orpington.", He motions to the chicken that was barely able to stand on its legs.
Suddenly Cluck shook herself back to consciousness and exclaimed, "Your associate? I think you mean, my associate."
Otto rolled his eyes and shot back, "Of course, you'd come out of your stupor for a comment like that."
"What's that supposed to mean!?", She yelled while getting into his face.
"Why don't you use that big head of yours to figure it out, chicken little!", He yelled while pushing her back.
She growled and yelled, "My head may be big, but at least my brain is smarter than yours, Squidward!"
Otto then curled his tentacles and anger and proclaimed, "I hate how his name and species don't correlate with one another!"
As the two of them continued to bicker, everyone else was staring at the two hyper-intelligent animals in a mixture of awe, wonder, and confusion. Making Egon slap his face while Izuku smiled and laughed awkwardly.
"Talking animals.", Hankyō observes aloud.
"Cool!", Honey Lemon, Hatsume, and Genus speak in unison.
"I hope you boys didn't make any talking plants.", Hollyhock asks suspiciously.
"Not yet.", Egon tells her with a sigh, knowing the inevitable.
"You could be the first.", Izuku jokingly offered.
Cho shakes her head and states, "Welp, I've officially seen it all."
Hankyō places a hand on her shoulder and tells her, "I get the feeling you're saying that too soon."
As he told her this, Peet walked into the room, attracted to all the commotion, and began to peck mindlessly at the destroyed machine. Cho went to open her mouth but Hankyō tightened his grip, making her look at him, where he just solemnly shook his head. Cho understood and just dropped it, allowing everything to play out as it was…in chaos.
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