A/N: Again thank you for sticking with me. Your reviews are very encouraging :) For the next chapter I added the scene from the original episode where Kono visited Steve while he was unconscious. I always thought the scene was rushed, so I added my version. I hope you like it.
Chapter 7
Danny had to wait outside the door to Steve's room for another half hour. Then a nurse came out and allowed him to enter.
As Danny pushed the handle to open the door, he took another deep breath, hoping to prepare himself for what he was about to see, even if he felt it would be in vain. In theory, he knew what to expect, but he was also aware that theory and practice were often far apart.
He walked to the foot of Steve's bed and stopped. At first he was overwhelmed by all the machines Steve was hooked up to. There were tubes sticking all over out of his body, either pumping fluids into him or let it drain out. Worst of all, Steve obviously couldn't breathe on his own. Instead he was connected to a ventilator that pushed oxygen into his lungs causing his chest to move and down in a steady rhythm. Had Dr. Kahale even mentioned this? Somehow he expected Steve to be off the ventilator after the surgery... He let it all sink in for a few minutes, trying to process what was all too obvious in front of him. But when he saw Steve's vitals on the monitor and his broken posture, barely recognisable to his partner, tears began to stream down his face. He didn't fight it, he couldn't, he was no longer able to control his emotions and now there were no prying eyes watching him, so he just let go.
After a while, he picked up the patient's chart, which was attached to the end of the bed. He looked at the latest readings that the nurses had written down. Steve's last recorded temperature was hundred two point nine. When he was finished studying all these numbers, he looked up and shook his head, ran a hand all over his face to wipe away the tears, then reluctantly clipped the board back on, as if he didn't want this written evidence of Steve's poor condition to be attributed to his friend.
Then he took one of the uncomfortable chairs in the corner and sat down next to Steve. Now that he was closer, he saw that Steve looked even worse than he had from a distance, if that was even possible. Beads of sweat on Steve's forehead caught his eye, and he quickly found a clean tissue and carefully dabbed them away. Then he gently placed one of Steve's hands, the one not attached to the IV, between his own and began to softly thumb the back of his partner's hand. He just wanted his best friend to feel his presence. He didn't know if Steve would sense anything, but even if he couldn't, he had a great need for physical contact with him. He needed to make sure that there was still life in him, even if it hardly seemed like it.
"Buddy, I need you to promise me that you will fight, okay? I didn't get that bullet out of you for nothing. So now it's your turn. You do your part and we'll call it even, okay?" Danny said in a warm but shaky voice, his eyes fixed on Steve's face, filling with moisture again.
He didn't know if he was saying it for his own sake or Steve's, probably both. After a while, exhaustion took its toll and Danny fell asleep with his head on Steve's bed, his hand still touching Steve's. Two hours later he was rudely awakened by the nurse who came into the room to check on her patient, change his IV bags and take his temperature. After completing her duties, she entered everything into the patient's chart.
"Excuse me, Nurse, what's the temperature?" Danny asked when he came around.
"Still one hundred two point nine – no change yet, sorry Mr. Williams. I suggest you get into the bed we have prepared for you," the nurse pointed to the unfolded visitor's bed in the corner.
As much as Danny wanted to be close to Steve's side to give his friend as much support as possible and not miss any changes in his condition, he also knew that he was at the limit of his own strength and it would not hurt to get at least a few hours of sleep. So he accepted the nurse's recommendation. "Thank you, nurse, um...?" Danny looked for the sign with her name on it...
"I'm Kalea - the nurse in charge tonight. Nice to meet you, Mr. Williams." - "Danny,..um, please call me Danny... Would you do me a favor, Nurse Kalea?" The nurse nodded. "Please wake me up if anything changes, would you?" -"Okay...- Danny- sure, will do...have a good night's sleep." The nurse left the room with a friendly smile.
Nothing changed during the night. Chin came by in the morning and wanted to give Danny a chance to take a break. He had a hard time convincing Danny that he needed to eat and take a shower. He also brought him some new clothes.
The nurse had given Danny some hospital gowns the day before, but they didn't really fit him. Of course, he hadn't been allowed to enter Steve's room with the partially bloodied shirt he was wearing from the crash, even though he still had to wear one of the uncomfortable disposable on top of everything.
Danny finally took a quick shower in the visitors' area, changed and grabbed a bite to eat from the kiosk. When he returned, the rounds were over and the doctors were about to leave Steve's room. Seeing the medical team coming out, Danny took the opportunity to pull Dr. Kahale aside.
"Doc, how is he? Is there any improvement?" Danny asked. They both stood in the hallway.
"Detective, I would have come to you next...I'm afraid I don't have good news... Unfortunately, we are now in a situation where we have to deal with severe complications."
"Wh...what?" Danny didn't trust his voice.
"The Commanders temperature has risen to over one hundred three and his lab results show an increase of his inflammation levels, which tells us that the antibiotics we've been giving him are not having the effect we'd hoped for. The main issue is that we haven't been able to control the sepsis yet, and he's also developed peritonitis. We changed the antibiosis as an immediate response, but I must tell you that Commander McGarrett's kidneys have already been compromised and are showing signs of acute renal failure. We have placed him in a medically induced coma and are hooking him up to a dialysis machine as we speak. ... I'm sorry, Detective, but we have to wait and see if the new medication works... Let's hope we're not dealing with a multi-resistant strain here." Dr. Kahale said with a serious but calm and compassionate expression…"We will monitor his blood levels very closely and if we see any changes, we will let you know immediately, okay?"
"And what if...if... the new meds doesn't work?" Danny almost didn't dare to ask, already anticipating what the doctor would have to say.
"Well…let's hope it does... If not, we are honestly running out of options and it can lead to a multiple organ failure. But I can assure you, Mr. Williams, that we will do everything in our power to avoid that. For now, all we can do is watch and wait." Danny took in the horrible information he certainly didn't want to hear. At a loss for words, he just nodded silently.
With that, the medical team gave him a sad smile turned and walked away. Danny just stood there, shocked, leaning against the wall, feeling the need for some support. Just then Kono appeared, coming out of a corner of the corridor and approaching Danny.
"Danny? What happened? Is Steve okay?" Kono sensed immediately that something was totally off.
"Kono…" ... "Danny?...What's going on? Are you okay?" Kono asked deep concern showing in her voice, when he looked in Danny's pale face.
"Doc just told me that Steve's kidneys are shutting down - the antibiotics didn't work, he got peritonitis on top and they put him into a coma." Danny gestured wildly with his hands, then put his arms on his hips and shook his head in disbelief, as if he couldn't believe his own words.
Kono seemed lost at first. As she tried to process Danny's words, she pulled him into a comforting hug. Then Chin left Steve's room. As he looked into the faces of his friends, he knew he didn't need to explain what he'd witnessed just five minutes ago when they connected Steve to the dialysis machine.
"Chin…!" Danny fell into Chin's embrace. "I know, man. I know. I've just seen them working on Steve and listened to their conversation... but remember, as long as there is life, there is still hope. Steve is a survivor and he is the strongest I come."
Although Danny appreciated the words, he felt Chin was just trying to comfort him.
"I know, Chin, but he's only human, after all…and I…I don't know what to do if…if…Steve…if he…" Danny wasn't able to finish his sentence. He bit his lips, hung his head, and tried to fight back tears that were threatening to fall again.
"Danny - we shouldn't think right now about what might or might not happen, and I keep telling you that Steve is going to make it... Come on, Brah, let's go get some fresh air and give Kono a chance to say hello to the boss."
"No Chin, I can't leave him now," Danny refused.
"Kono won't let him out of her sight, right Kono?"
"Sure. You guys go for a walk and if there's any change, I promise I'll patch through a message ASAP," Kono confirmed to both of them.
"Come on Danny, we both need a breather."
Danny wasn't really comfortable leaving Steve, but he let himself to be convinced and gave Kono a chance to visit.
"Okay," he finally agreed, "will be back in twenty".
Kono entered Steve's room and took Danny's seat on the side of his bed. "Hey boss," she said while he touched his arm…
"You know, I've been thinking… Why is it that people never say what they wanna say until something like this happens…And actually, there's been something on my heart for a long time that I need to say to you." Kono took a pause for a breath to pick her words…"I know you probably can't hear me, but maybe you can...You know, the day I met you six years ago at Waimea Bay, you changed my life. You gave me more than just a job. You gave me a family. And I never told you how much I appreciate it all… Mahalo." Kono gave Steve a slight squeeze to his arm.
"And I don't know if you can imagine how much you mean to us. We don't just need you as our boss and leader of this team, we need you as our brother and friend. Danny needs you! He can't live without you, do you realize that? You're Super-SEAL, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem for you to beat this, right? So all I ask is that you come back to us."
The next 24 hours nothing significant happened.
Meanwhile, Danny was feeling tired and worn out. Despite Chin and Kono's best efforts to lift his spirits, he was still grappling with some dark thoughts.
What if Steve didn't make it? How would he imagine life without his best friend? Danny couldn't and didn't want to. But on the other hand, Danny was also someone who liked to be prepared. He was a planner by nature. He had to prepare for the unimaginable in some way, didn't he? Even he had no idea how. Still, he tried to push the thoughts aside, but he was losing the strength to do so.
The next time the medical team stood around Steve's bed, they pointed out that there was no change in their patient's condition. "Detective, this is not unusual at this stage and we need to give the antibiotics a little more time to work." Dr. Kahale tried to persuade Danny. "Although the situation is still critical you need to see that no change for the worse, at this point is a good sign...the labs and vitals haven't gotten worse, which probably would have been the case if the change in medication hadn't worked." Danny was a little perplexed by the fact that Steve's condition was still the same and that should be a reason to be optimistic.
Maybe Danny would have rationally figured the same, but by now he was so exhausted and tired of everything he had been through the last few days that he was not able to think straight.
Danny continued to sit at Steve's bedside. From time to time the nurses, Kono and Chin would force him to take a break, but most of the time he refused. He just couldn't leave Steve. He had to wait until he got at least some sign that he was getting better. Sometimes he would just look out the window at the bright Hawaiian sun and wonder how much this place on earth that he had hated so much at the beginning, had become a kind of home to him over the last few years. Because of Steve, he thought... And the whole team, along with their friends, their whole ohana. But Steve was the one who kept them together. He remembered the countless times they sat together at Steve's house for barbecues, card games, dinners... He was grateful for every single moment he had with him, even the fights and arguments between them. He missed it all so much already, and he couldn't imagine going on with this kind of life without him. Danny kept holding Steve's good hand, tenderly stroking it with his fingers, and finally spoke to him again:
"Steve, I don't know if you can hear me... but if you can, please listen to me for once. I know I said this the other day on the island, but in case you didn't hear me, I'd gladly say it again... You're more than just a partner to me. I don't know if you can imagine how much you mean to me… You're my best friend, my brother, honestly the most important person in my life after my kids. And as much as you have the ability to annoy me, I can't imagine my life without you… So please don't make me do this.… I love you, buddy..."
Tears were streaming down Danny's cheeks as he said this, but he didn't care. After a short pause he added, "And I don't know if I'll ever regret these next words...I'd even like to see you drive my car again. I promise the next time you drive I won't complain...Please fight and come back to me, I know you can." Danny finished his plea. Then he noticed more beads of sweat appearing on Steve's forehead. He reached for a tissue and gently wiped the sweat away. Then, to his surprise, he saw Steve's closed eyes moving rapidly from one side to the other...
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Steves POV
Steve stood on the edge of a mountain. A gun was pointed at him, he heard the sound of a gunshot, and moments later he felt a sharp pain in his abdomen. The impact of the bullet made him turn around. He heard a voice shouting at him. STEVE! NOOO! Then he fell over the edge. At the very last moment, he grabbed hold of a branch on the edge of the cliff. Someone reached out to him and called his name. But he wasn't able to grab this hand. He had no strength left, no matter how hard he tried.
tbc
A/N: In this chapter I wanted to give more insight into Danny's feelings. I hope it wasn't too depressing. What do you think?
There aren't that many chapters left, maybe one or two. But I don't want to rush it. I might need some more time to give this story the ending it deserves. So please be patient...
