"Don't let Papa see you reading that," Mary had once told him when she'd found him in their room, a small flimsy paperback in his hands. They'd been married for a few months and though Matthew hadn't known it at the time Marry was already pregnant with little George. She'd walked in to retrieve something, he couldn't remember and he didn't even know if she'd ever told him, and caught him sitting by the window, engrossed in his reading. "You know that he thinks anything without a hard cover is rubbish and shouldn't be in the hands of a gentlemen."
"While normally I might agree I'm afraid this only comes in soft cover," he'd said, shifting a bit as Mary walked over. He'd thought about hiding what he was reading but knew that Mary would never let him get away with keeping something from her and instead just continued on.
Sure enough Mary had begun to read over his shoulder, curious as to what he'd selected. He been able to tell by her sharp intake of breath that she hadn't been expecting him to be reading up on THAT particular topic. "Is this about-?"
"It is. And now you see why I am reading here and not down in the library."
"Why are you interested in that?"
Matthew had marked his place before he'd addressed her question, sighing slightly as he'd done so. "I know that for your family, and for many families, it was a tragedy. I'm not callous enough to think it wasn't. But for me… though I didn't know it at the time, it was the trigger for so many blessings." He had pulled her around towards him, kissing her hand gently, and Mary had smiled that beautiful brilliant smile of hers that always made him melt. "I always wonder what my life would have been like had Patrick lived and you'd never come into my life."
"And I as well," Mary had stated. "I imagine I would have been dreadfully unhappy."
"As would I. It is cruel to say, for all those it caused pain… but for me I thank the Lord for that iceberg every day."
That conversation played throughout his gray matter as Matthew rushed into his office, shutting and locking the door firmly behind him before setting the newspaper down on the desk, not minding in the slightest that such action caused a stack of papers to flutter to the floor. Honestly he wouldn't have cared if they had been swept up by a stiff breeze and sent tumbling out the window, never to be seen again. They wouldn't matter soon enough, not if what he felt in his head and his heart was proven true. And if he was wrong then he'd be reduced to a sobbing wreck soon enough and be utterly useless when it came to any of his casework.
The moment he had realized what day it was he had sprung into action. Knowing that his mother would grow worried if he were late for breakfast he'd only allowed himself a handful of minutes to snatch up the pad of paper that he always kept near his bedside, there if a thought about a case occurred to him in the middle of the night, and begun to write down everything he could remember about the Titanic Tragedy. Nothing about the boat itself, as that would be common knowledge. Would do no good to write down things like the number of passengers, as he would never be sure if that was truly future knowledge or information he'd read about a few days prior. No, he recorded the time it had sunk, the name of the ship that had found the first passengers, a description of how it had slowly sunk down into the icy depths, taking with it so many unfortunate souls. He recorded facts that no person, unless they had survived the event personally, should ever have known this early in the morning on the day of the tragedy and set them down in pencil, thanking every angel listening that he'd studied the sinking so thouroughly that he could recall the details with a near perfect recollection. He'd looked over the list one last time, to make sure it was as detailed as it could possibly be, before cramming the sheet, his lifeline to his past and what he prayed was his future, in his pocket. Then had been the fastest he'd ever gotten dressed before it was a sprit out the door.
Breakfast had been a torturous affair, with Matthew doing his best to act normal even as it felt as if he had butterflies in his stomach and they were all performing that silly dance Mary loved from when they were in the Highlands. He couldn't remember what they'd had for breakfast, or what his mother had talked to him about. He'd mostly just nodded and murmured polite agreements; he vaguely recalled kissing her on the cheek and managing, when she asked him to say hello to that pretty secretary of his, to not comment that he wasn't going to cheat on his wife… who he wasn't even married to… who didn't even know who he was... with his secretary. His mind was too full to focus on anything really, as the same silent, horrible prayer repeating in his head.
'Let it have sunk. Let it have sunk. Let it have sunk.'
It was wrong. It was horrible. It was vile and sinful. A true gentlemen, a true Christian, a man of noble thoughts and deeds, would never have thought such a terrible thing. To wish the death of over a thousand innocent souls purely so he might have his happiness was ghastly. Ghoulish even. He should have been on his knees, praying that it was all a dream and those unfortunate men, women, and children would be spared the cold death that had awaited them in his timeline.
But he'd spent nine years doing the right thing. He'd swallowed his pride when Cousin Violet had asked him to investigate the entail and see if he wouldn't just sacrifice the wealth and all he would receive, after already altering his life so much, because Mary was throwing a hissy fit (and she was his wife so he could call it that… though never to her face). Never mind that it would utterly destroy Downton, though he wouldn't have been surprised if Mary had tried to buy it off of him should he have been able to get her the money, so that the Crawleys might continue on like nothing had changed while he became a laughing stock. He hadn't said a word when Violet demanded that. He'd attended their dinner parties where everyone, including the family that was supposed to be welcoming him, looked down on him because he actually had a skill and a job while Robert would be lost if he didn't have an army of servants to help him. They mocked the idea of him being middle class, seeing him as inferior when in all measurements he was the most skilled of them all and had managed to make something of himself while the rest of them only had the deeds of those long dead to prop them up. He'd never become upset when Robert and Cora were expecting and certain servants had gotten snippy about his frustrations over Mary for toying with his emotions; never a cold word as he'd been treated as dirt by the likes of Carson because he'd dared not been a happy little tin soldier who did as he was told and accepted that his life was like parchment in the wind. He'd signed up to fight a war that should never have been fought but was because stupid petty men, the men that the Crawley family thought could do no wrong, wanted to prove who made the bigger bloody cock. He'd stayed with Lavinia even after he'd realized he didn't love her as she deserved for he didn't want to bring shame upon her. He'd tried to refuse Reggie Swire's money and then given it to Robert even though, as much as he cared for the man, the Earl was an idiot when it came to money and should never be allowed to invest even a copper. Because he owed Mary that, apparently, never mind his own feelings on the matter. Time and time again he'd done the noble thing. The sensible thing. And what had that gotten him?
A year of happiness before he was killed because of a bloody car swerving into his lane.
'To hell with the world,' Matthew thought as he sat down in his office chair. 'And the hell with being noble and proper. For once I am going to be greedy.' For as much as he looked back on all he'd done and scoffed at how the family had run right over him he in his heart still loved them and wanted to be with them again. And if that meant a tragedy had to occur, one he had no control over… then damn it, let it happen. He'd allowed himself to become like Mary and Robert, forever worried about what others would think. Doing so now though would cost him his chance to be with those he longed to see again. For as much as he scorned the compromises he'd been forced to make he still loved them all and wanted to return to them. And if the paper's front page was emblazed with the headline he hoped to see… then his chance to see them all again was possible. And he didn't care what any Higher Power who sat in Heaven above thought.
He'd done his best to ignore people at the newspaper stand, humming to himself to block out their comments as he'd paid for his copy of the Herald and hurried to his building. While seeing shocked faces might have confirmed things he wanted to do this alone, in private and without any onlookers.
He was proud to say, at the very least, that his hands did not tremble as he carefully laid out the newspaper on his desk. He didn't begin to weep or cheer either. He merely slunk down in his rolling chair ('Oh, how Cousin Violet hated these things' he thought to himself suddenly, the memory popping up out of nowhere) and stared at the headline.
TITANIC SINKS
~A~O~O~O~F
Mathew sighed, looking down at the sheet of paper he had laid out on the overly large hardcover he'd snagged from the bookshelf. His mother would have a fit at him using it as a glorified writing desk but this was something he couldn't do out in the open and he'd only remembered upon entering his bedroom that night that he didn't have a desk… yet. He'd have one in the village, and at Downton, but not here in his mother's simple home. Why need a private one when there was a perfectly good writing desk waiting for anyone to use downstairs? It was a needless expense, or at least was one at this point in his life.
But this was something he had to do alone.
It wasn't a dreadful loss. The book was a ponderous thing he'd been forced to read during his school days and honestly it was better served as a hard writing space than as a source of any enjoyment or knowledge.
His mind turned to his small cozy bedroom and he wondered if he should feel more ashamed at how meager he now found it. He'd promised that he wouldn't let Downton change him but here he was bitter that he had no writing desk to call solely his own and that his shoes didn't fit as well as the one's he'd worn (from his perspective) a day ago, and missed Mrs. Patmore's desserts that were so rich they should have been made illegal. He'd been altered, a mark left upon him, even if it was only his soul that, in this new life, had been to Downton.
'But I changed them as well,' he thought to himself. 'Made Robert a little less stuffy, got Violet to open her eyes a bit more. Broke apart the ice that caked Mary's heart. Helped pull all of them into the new century, even if they were kicking and screaming the entire way.' He looked down at his list. 'And this time I will do so much more.'
Once he had confirmed that all his notes on the Titanic disaster were true Matthew had begun considering what he could and more importantly should do next. Knowledge was everything and nothing. He knew so much but, at the moment, he was powerless. He knew everything and everyone at Downton but what good would that do if he showed up, during their mourning no less, and proclaimed he was the heir and madly in love with Mary? 'I'd be driven out at best,' he thought with a rueful chuckle, tapping his pencil against the book. He knew that Robert had already invested in that stupid rail line and that in about seven years every drop of Downton's money would be gone; in fact he could practically hear it dripping away even as he sat there. Yes, it hadn't lost anything yet but it soon would and that drove him mad. He wasn't one that liked risks; Mary had joked that he was such a poor hand at cards because he only bet when it was a sure thing. That wasn't entirely true… he only bet when he had a gameplan in place and didn't throw his chips in like Robert was want to do and hoped for the best. The knowledge that Downton's future was at risk was driving him mad and he wanted to go and shake Robert now and scream at him for risking everything on a fool's gamle.
But there was nothing he could do about that, even after he was named heir; Robert would buck and snort and tell Matthew it was none of his concern and that he'd been doing this for far longer. 'You are thinking like a middle class lawyer, Matthew. Leave it to me to secure the future of the estate'. If he came at him with demands it would be a million times worse than when he'd tried to get Robert to invest Reggie's money properly. Robert would dig in his heels and refuse to listen.
The war was looming as well, only two years away, but he couldn't stop it (and even if he magically managed to stop that war another would pop up; it was clear to him that the world needed a war like that to shake them awake and make them see the folly of their actions. Too many like Robert and William still saw war as a noble little game and not the bloody and muddy hell that it was, where the trenches were not filled with glory but with death and darkness.) and while he had some ideas on how he could save himself (and, if he played things carefully, Barrow and William as well) he couldn't do much until war was actually declared. As much as it pained him Matthew saw that he was playing a long game. This wasn't a hand of cards; his life was a chess match and each move might take months to make.
'But that doesn't mean I can't start getting the pieces in the right postions,' he thought, looking at his list.
The first domino had already fallen: Patrick was dead. Oh, he was convinced now that the 'Patrick' who had appeared in the hospital was not the true heir. He was a con man, a scared scarred soldier who had learned where he was and, finding out the current heir was a cripple and quite suicidal at that point, decided to step in, playing on Edith's emotions in hopes of usurping the title and the lands. In his mind the man probably thought he was doing them a kindness: he could marry Edith, produce a child, and Downton would still fall to Robert's biological grandson. But Matthew wasn't going to get hurt… if he had his way he wouldn't see the front line. So that ugly mess of a man and his 'kindness' could bugger off to parts unknown.
He shook his head. He kept doing that, allowing old memories and thoughts to pop up and derail him. He was sure it would get worse when he actually got back home. A painting or a dish would trigger a memory and he'd be lost like an old man in the grip of dementia, recalling tales that, to the rest of the world, had never happened. He needed to keep an eye out for that, lest he ruin everything. It would do him only ill if he let Robert and the rest think he was a scatterbrained fool.
Matthew refocused. Patrick was dead and in late July he would receive the letter from Robert asking for them to meet. By September he and mother would move to the Village and then he could truly begin to work on his list.
He looked down at what he had written, smiling to himself.
Mathew's Grand List Of What To Change Now That He Has Found Himself In The Past
1- Get a new name for the list.
'That much is obvious', he thought with a rueful shake of his head as he turned to his next point.
2- Get Mary to fall in love with me sooner, get married, avoid all the heartache and pain
While it was the first thing on the list (technically second but he figured he could come up with a better name for his list within a day or two) Matthew knew it wouldn't be the first thing he managed to do. Courting Mary the last time hadn't been easy and while he knew her better now that didn't mean such knowledge would make it easier. In fact knowing so much about her only meant that he knew what to avoid, not what to actually do.
Matthew was humble enough to admit that part of the problem had been himself. He'd been an utter prat when he'd first arrived at Downton, loudly proclaiming to all that he knew better and that their way of life was wrong and he wasn't going to change, they had to. While it had become a funny story later on, once they'd finally settled down and married, Matthew could see that his ill-timed comment about Mary being shoved onto him, combined with her own anger at being passed by to inherit, meant that they'd started on the wrong foot, with her utterly bitter at his arrival. What attraction there had been between them had died on the vine with those words. While he wouldn't be making that same mistake again (and he had a few ideas of just how he wanted their first meeting to go) he knew that Mary would not be changed like him and would still feel the anger and see him as someone claiming what was her's. While he wouldn't act like a prig he also couldn't come in pitching woe and fawning over her as she would read that as him trying to win her over purely to better his standing. She'd turned down other men in the past for doing the same.
'The trick is a happy medium, as the Americans say,' Matthew thought to himself, picturing his wife as he had first seen her, prim and proper and looking at him with smoldering eyes. 'To be respectful without coming off as a leech attempting to trick her with honeyed words.' He would need to show her that he could be a friend, someone she could rely on, and someone that could challenge her and love her as she deserved. That is what had finally allowed them to fall for each other and this time he would ensure that all the blockades he'd created in that first timeline weren't there this go-around. 'And of course there is the other matter that would make life easier for all of us.'
3- Keep that Turkish prick away from Mary
At first he had thought to just include that in his Mary section but realized that the Turkish Diplomat hadn't been just a problem for Mary but for all of them. Yes, his death had caused Mary embarrassment and shame. It had caused her to doubt herself and if she were worthy of marrying him. Keeping the dashing and annoying man away from Mary would certainly help her and him avoid many of the hang-ups that had caused their relationship to rock back and forth between happiness and despair.
But the more Matthew thought of it the more he realized that… whatever his name was (and he really should know it, considering it seemed as if every month someone was asking if he remember 'The Turkish Diplomat that died in the house'. Why yes, Cora, I remember the dead man everyone can't stop talking about, what does that have to do with the pudding we are eating?)… had cast his shadow over the entire house and was the source of so many problems. He was why Mary had ended up stuck with Sir Richard for so long. He had caused Rosamund to insert herself into problems that were none of her concern. It had created unneeded gossip and caused the Crawley family to do foolish and stupid things just to keep up appearances and avoid scandals. It had driven a wedge between Edith and Mary when the former had sent letters to the Turkish Embassy about the incident (and Matthew, having only found out about this 2 weeks ago from his perspective after Mary had let it slip, was still a touch mad at Edith and her senseless actions).
'For goodness sakes according to Mary the man's death is part of the reason Bates ended up in bloody prison!' Matthew thought suddenly, making a note next to his comment on the Prick to look into Bates' situation. 'The Turkish prick and his… Turkish prick… are a curse on Downton and the Crawleys. I can imagine it a hundred years from now: Oh, don't marry Matthrew Crawley the 5th, his family is under the Turkish Diplomat Curse'. Matthew sighed and rolled his eyes. 'I can't even hope that keeping him away from Mary will help… he'd probably end up in someone else's bed and start the bloody thing off again.'
Matthew turned to his next task.
4- Don't die
'Is it sad that Mary and the Turk come before my own death?' he thought to himself. This one would be the easiest to do: don't be an idiot when driving a car. He'd become lax and stupid, allowing himself to forget that an auto was a dangerous machine. Tom had warned him time and again to respect the auto and like a love drunk fool he'd decided to go blazing about the countryside staring at the clouds. He would stop treating it like a toy to play with and show it the respect and caution it deserved.
Or just never drive at all. That would work too.
5- Save Sybil
Not just for Tom, who had been so lost and heartbroken after she'd left him. Not just for Sybie, who, if Matthew did this right, would be given another name, one her mother picked out as she held her close. Not just for Cora and Robert, for no parent should bury their child. Not just for Mary and Edith, who had lost a bit of innocence when, in their own words, the best of the three of them had perished. But also for him. He had spent the least amount of time with Sybil but it still pained him to see her gone. It was only after her passing he'd truly learned about her, from Mary and Tom and Robert and Cora and all the rest and he'd mourned not just her but the loss of opportunity to know someone so full of life. She was young, yes, and opinionated, but she felt like someone that could have been his ally, had he allowed her into his heart. So this time it would be different. He would save her and she would live a full life. He would research what had happened to her, get his mother to help, he'd tell Sybil and Tom he'd stand with them and demand they go see Clarkson…
…no, not Clarkson. A city doctor. They'd take her to a hospital, just as they'd done with Mary. One where there were rooms full of people to assist. Robert be damned, he would pay for it himself if he had to. He'd take her to bloody America if he had to.
6- Keep Lavinia FAR away from Downton, so she might live
'And I'll save you too' he thought. Lavinia would be easier; so long as they never got together she wouldn't come to Downton and would never get sick. Matthew paused before adding next to that item 'stop the flu from even happening at Downton' to the list. He wasn't sure HOW he'd do that but he didn't want to risk saving Lavinia only for Cora to pass away.
7- Save William
This one would be harder. William was too damn noble, even during the horrors of war. He'd been a true believer, fighting for King and Country, not seeing that the war was a folly and should never have happened. Matthew had an idea about what to do about keeping himself off the front lines but he didn't know if he could keep William from charging off to battle, puffed up on patriotism and acting like the American cowboys Robert was fond of mocking. Still, he had to try. Which lead to his next task…
8- Don't go to the front
Without the knowledge he had now he would have thought this an impossibility. Everyone had assumed that signing up early would get one out of the true fighting. Barrow had admitted as much during one of their late-night drinking meetings, shaking his head and cursing the rumors that those brave lads who joined up at the start would be given cushy positions. Matthew had reminded Thomas that he wasn't the only one to fall for the lies and the two had toasted on the hope that whoever had created that tale was burning in hell.
(Thomas had also admitted, rather tearfully, that he'd purposely gotten himself shot to get out of the front and get sent back home. He'd expected Matthew to be mad at him but he'd merely shocked the under butler by stating "I'd wish I'd bloody thought of that! I waited till I got paralyzed!". After that it seemed as if a weight had been lifted from Barrow's shoulders, to know that there was at least one person he could talk to truthfully about what had happened)
For it had been a horrid lie. Volunteering first meant you got to fight longer. Waiting to volunteer meant you got stuck with bitter soldiers mad that you'd been able to duck away while they suffered. William had at least been protected by him and Matthew knew the poor lad had suffered through hazing because his fellow soldiers thought him a mama's boy who had only come to fight when the shame had gotten too great. But the truth was that all of them had wished they'd been like William and waited. He'd heard of other schemes, other tricks, and knew that each one of them was doomed to fail. 'Kill 100 Germans and they say you've done enough'. 'If you can recite a secret passcode it gets you sent back home'. 'Sneak into Captain Crawley's tent and offer him your bum and the next morning you'll get your papers'
Matthew would love to know what idiot had spread THAT rumor… so he could kill them slowly.
There were only four ways one could avoid going to the front: be too sick to fight, petition, find a role of importance that kept one at home, or run. As much as Matthew would like to avoid the front he wasn't ready to cut off his foot to avoid it. The petition was an option but one he didn't want to risk; being the Heir of Grantham would not see him approved and it was dangerous to claim he was morally against the war (even though he was). The best option was the find a job that would help in the war effort but not see him sent to the front lines. Usually that meant luck or having an in.
Luckily he had insider knowledge.
9- Keep Sybil and Tom at Downton
Matthew would never claim he loved his country as much as Robert, who he wouldn't be surprised to find out wore Union Jack pajamas to bed, but he did feel that England had so much more to offer than Ireland. He knew Tom loved his home country but he also knew that it brought out the worst in him. He'd been a writer and probably could have provided a grand life for himself and his family but old friends with bad habits had drawn him in and made him make horrifying mistakes. It had nearly cost him his life and his marriage and even though both had survived he knew it had broken Tom's heart to never be allowed back to his homeland, a man without a country.
'And, if I'm being honest… I want him here,' Matthew admitted. 'It's selfish but he became like a brother to me and I know it hurt Mary not to have Sybil around. I need to find a way to keep them here… and that will mean going to war with Robert.' Matthew made a face as he remembered just how radical Tom had been before the loss of Sybil and the caring for their child had mellowed him out. 'And most likely going to war with Tom.'
He wasn't looking forward to that.
10- Ensure Robert doesn't destroy Downton
'Speaking of wars,' Matthew thought with a bitter laugh. He loved Robert, he truly did, but the man had absolutely no sense when it came to business. He seemed to believe that just because you have the money you understood how to make it. 'No, that isn't right… he believes because he has things WORTH money he understands how to make it.' He rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration, feeling a headache coming on just thinking about how mismanaged Downton was. 'He invests in a rail line because someone with a better title believes it a grand idea. He doesn't hold the tenants accountable because he believes that all of them are like him and believe in keeping Downton strong when all they see is a lord willing to let them do as they please. He refuses to try anything new because if it wasn't done by men long dead then it's not worth doing!'
Matthew set the list aside and let out a huff. 'And this will be a worse battle than last time because I won't be a co-owner. Reggie Swire will have no reason to put me in his will so there will be nothing I can use to help Robert out. And he will see me as some forward thinking country lawyer who doesn't understand how things work and send me off with a bug in my ear.'
He did have the rumblings of a plan. When he'd originally gone to Robert to save Downton he'd had a much more ambitious idea in mind but realized even before speaking to his father in law that it would never be accepted and thus toned it down. Matthew knew it was risky but, should he be able to make it come to pass then not only would Downton be saved but he would take it to places no earl had ever taken it before. He would truly create its legacy.
Sitting up he decided to move on to the next item on the list.
11- Ensure Robert doesn't destroy Downton
"Because it needs to be repeated" he muttered before looking at the next three.
12- Make friends with Tom, make him feel welcome
13- Help Molesely. He deserves respect
14- Get to know the entire staff better
He needed to do this, for all of them. Tom had become a brother to him and he wished he had gotten to know him better, defended him against Robert and Cora and knocked some sense into his thick head that he didn't need to leave. That there were opportunities for him at Downton… that together they could make it wonderful. He would do better this time; like with Mary he would see that relationship come about sooner and thus make it stronger for all the extra time they'd have. Already he wished he could ring Tom up, invite him to drive over and they'd hit a pub and talk about everything and nothing. He'd give anything to hear Tom rant and rave about Irish independence and then fall asleep at the bar (for an Irishman he simply couldn't hold his liquor… Matthew loved to tease him that he was a secret English baby his mother had adopted).
'And then there is Moldsely,' Matthew thought with a sad smile. 'I truly how many of the troubles you went through were because I had such a habit of destroying your ego. From belittling you the moment we first met to not bringing you with me when I moved into Downton because I didn't understand the connection between valet and gentleman… well, I promise things will be different.'
'Just as they will be with the rest of you.' He shook his head in disgust. 'I claimed I was better than Robert and the rest and honestly I was worse. They made connections, at the very least, but I let the dark looks you all gave me when I first arrive color my views and we never recovered. I need allies in the likes of Mrs. Hughes and Carson, not enemies or to be generous neutral parties who tolerate me due to Mary.' He managed a smile though; he had a plan in mind that would drive Robert mad but would also impress him greatly and help Matthew make a better impression on the servants this time.
15- Save the baby
Matthew had said he'd be selfish. Damn the world and focus on himself.
But… if being the Earl meant watching Cora and Robert mourn once more over their child…
He would give it all up.
Of course he also realized there was a chance the baby might never come to be. After all, if he was already going to be radically changing things there was a chance that Robert and Cora would never do… that (he couldn't even imagine them in their undergarments without shuddering in horror)… and the baby would never be conceived.
Or it could be.
And even then Robert had never informed him of the baby's gender. He'd refused to speak of it and, as far as he knew, only he and Dr. Clarkson knew if they were to have another girl or an heir.
So Matthew would save the child. Because there were too many 'what ifs'.
'It will be hard. How do you advice someone not to slip on a bar of soap?'
That would be one he'd need to puzzle over for some time.
16- Find out about Gregson, his wife, and if Edith can truly be happy with him
'How sad that even on this list Edith is last,' Matthew thought. While he tried to justify that saving lives and saving Downton were more important he still felt guilty that she was an afterthought even when he hadn't met her yet. Still, he would help her all that he could, though he did find it sad that she would have to suffer many years before Michael Gregson came into her life. Matthew was not a fan of Sir Anthony, thinking that he was too concerned with finding the first young thing to cling toand was too quick to abandon someone he loved at the worst possible moment. Had he broken with her gently Matthew might have helped him but he'd broken Edith's heart and spirit and he simply couldn't trust the man not to do it again. No, Matthew would do what he could to keep Edith from ever falling for him.
Gregson was a wild card but one Matthew needed to examine.
'Most likely this will be the only task I start after the day I… originally died.' His mouth puckered a bit at that, not liking how morbid it sounded but not knowing any other way to describe it.
He carefully folded the list and slid it into his briefcase, promising to soon get a small safe and tuck it away where only he could get to it. He had so much time and yet so little to do all that he wanted. He knew the risks, how his actions could blow up in his face and destroy everything. Part of him was tempted to just go through the motions and live the next nine years exactly the same up until he left the hospital. But when he thought of Sybil and Lavinia and William he just couldn't do it.
'I've been given a gift,' he thought as he began to change for bed, 'and by God's good grace… I will use it.'
It would be a mantra he would repeat for months… until the day Lord Robert of Grantham changed his life once again
~A~O~O~O~F~
Author's Notes: Not sure how many people picked up the date but yes, Matthew has returned on the day the Titanic sank. Or at least when the news got around. It was the beginning of the series and here it is the beginning of Matthew's new adventure.
We also get a look at Matthew's list, which will set up a lot of the storylines in this tale. Add to that we also see a bit of Matthew's new attitude: despite claiming that he didn't care what people thought of him I think it is clear that Matthew was bothered by how the Crawleys looked down upon him and it influenced how he acted. This time? Matthew only cares about his happiness and the happiness of those around him. He knows he can't save the world but at least he can make things better for his family and friends.
I mentioned before to some reviewers that my head canon is that Thomas and Matthew secretly would meet up in the middle of the night and drink to forget the nightmares of the War. As the only two in the house that truly experienced No Man's Land I just see them as secretly bonding. It's also why I think Thomas was so protective of George. Sybie and George were the children of the only two people in Downton who knew the horrors of the war and didn't see it as something grand and magical and in my mind Thomas cared for the two little ones because it was his way of paying back Sybil and Matthew's kindness.
So I mentioned last chapter my plot bunny for a story where it is Mary who travels back. This idea has been snatched up by Anne O' The Island and I can't wait to read it. And as such I am offering up another plot bunny for someone to grab.
This story would begin near the end of a different Season 2 of Downton. Season One occurred exactly the same but Season 2 would have begun a bit different. Matthew never returns to Downton during the war, only sending letters that everything is okay but he can't speak of what is going on. Meanwhile Mary would end up meeting Henry Talbot who, in this reality, took Matthew's place, was injured, but was knighted for his bravery on the battlefield and Mary and him became engaged. Richard is sent packing and Henry and Mary are wed. Everything else happens roughly the same until Robert gets a letter from Matthew: the war is over and he is returning to Downton… with his wife. He has met someone and fell in love and they are returning to Downton. Robert is shocked and so is everyone else and all the house is whispering about who this woman who won Matthew's heart could be.
And then he arrives. Not with Lavinia. Not with some society girl. But with a nearly 6 foot tall foreign beauty who wears strange greek armor and asks Carson to please put her sword and shield someplace safe.
Matthew then happily introduces Downton to his wife: Diana, Princess of the Amazons.
Yes, this would be a Downton Abbey/Wonder Woman crossover. Matthew took Steve's role in then movie except he parachuted from the plane and survived. He and Diana fell in love and got married after stopping Ares and since Diana can't go back home they'd decided to live at Downton. The entire story would be about how Diana radically alters Season 3. Imagine her and Sybil becoming best friends and convincing her and Tom to stay. Or Mary getting jealous that all the servants are watching Diana sword train in the backyard (to Carson's horror! The roses! She'll destroy the roses!) and deciding she wants to work out now and soon all the women at Downton are being trained to fight with swords and shields. Maybe it is revealed that Mrs. Patmore is another exile from Themyscira and she's been secretly training Anna in their ancient ways and Diana is thrilled to meet her. And through it all Matthew and Diana are just in love and a power couple utterly altering England for the better! Sybil and Tom have a daughter named Martha who meets a rich billionaire from America and years later Sybil's grandson Bruce teams up with Diana and Matthew's granddaughter Donna to fight evil!
It would be 100% pure crack fic but oh so much fun!
