John looked at the clock and smiled, for once thankful that the day was coming to an end and that there was no one in the hotel. Oh, it was bad for business, that was true, but sometimes it was nice when the Grantham Arms was slow. It meant that he could close up early and spend a bit more time with his family. Noah was had reached the point that he could lie on the ground and wiggle about and John so enjoyed just sitting there, bad leg be damned, and watch his son try and move about. He'd snort like a piglet, letting out annoyed little grunts that he couldn't go where he wanted to. Even better was that Anna was forever trying to help him only for the baby to give her the most unamused glare an infant could muster. One time he'd even flailed his hand out and whapped her wrist and John was sure that his son was scolding her, demanding she leave him be and let him inchworm where he wanted to go. Noah wanted to do things on his own, without any help. An independent little chap and John hoped he always remained that way.
Of course it wasn't just Noah John wanted to spend some time with. After all these long months of healing from the pregnancy, and Noah finally managing to sleep most of the night, John and Anna had finally begun to spend time in their bed doing more than just sleeping. They had to be careful, of course, but he found that to be almost as much fun, as he got to see just how little he could get away with in order to make her gasp his name.
Smiling at that rather naughty thought John began to make sure everything was settled behind the counter before limping over to the fire, looking it over to make sure that it would burn just enough to keep everything warm without risking sparks flying it. It amused him a touch how many things he did on his own that, back at Downton, required an entire staff to see done.
'Of course the Abbey is far larger than this place,' he thought, exchanging his cane for a fire poker and shifting one of the logs. 'Though we do have far more people move in and out of our door in a week than they do at the House.' His smile fell slightly. 'Especially with how things have been these last few years.' Refusing to dwell on that though he focused on moving the logs only to wince when he heard the main door open. "One moment," he said, bracing himself to be polite and friendly even as all he wanted to do was tell the person they were closed and they could bugger off.
"Quite alright Bates… I'm willing to wait."
John nearly tumbled into the fire, he was so startled to hear that voice. Catching the mantle with one hand he pushed himself around, using the firepoker in place of his cane as he spun to stare at the last man he'd ever thought would end his establishment.
"My lord," John croaked, taking in the visage of Lord Grantham. He was dressed rather casually… well, for him that was. Tweed suit with hat, a long coat to keep the chill away, thick soled shoes with deep treads that John only remembered him wearing whenever he wanted to walk the lands around the estate and escape the beaten path, and a pair of thin gloves adorned his hands. His cheeks were read and as he sniffed John realized that Lord Grantham hadn't ridden down but rather walked down from the Abbey. A long trip during decent weather… a rather difficult one when there was an inch of snow on the ground.
"Gives me a chance to warm up," Lord Grantham said, pulling off his gloves and rubbing his trembling hands together. He managed a weak smile but John could see there was something off about his former employer. Or perhaps there was nothing wrong at all and it was merely a case that John hadn't seen his lordship in a pleasant mood in over two years… or at all, truly, other than from a distance. "I don't know if you've been out there recently but it has gotten rather cold. Was invigorating at first, made me feel young like I was charging out once more into the unexplored world, but about halfway down from the house I realized that when I was young I was a rather foolish sop and the cold was reminding me more of how I'd launch out without a plan and rue it." He carefully placed his gloves into the pocket of his jacket, lightly scuffing the bottoms of his shoes against the mat by the door. "I don't suppose you would be willing to let me share your fire to warm up?"
"Of… of course," John said, motioning for Lord Grantham to sit. Remembering himself he moved to help his lordship remove his coat, both as a sign of respect and old habit, but to his surprise Lord Grantham waved him off and removed the coat himself, walking over and hanging it on the coat hook in the corner where farmers, traveling salesmen, and other common folk would deposit their own garments. "Would you like something to drink?"
"Water, if you have it," his Lordship said. "You know I read somewhere that while so many think that alcohol warms you up it actually is making your body colder. Something about the blood vessels… I honestly can't remember, most of that medical stuff goes right over my head and I'd ask-" He grew silent and refused to continue, instead remaining in his chair, watching the fire, waiting for John to return with his glass. "Would you join me, Bates?"
"I would be honored."
"You shouldn't be. This is your home and I am the intruding guest. You have welcomed me. Yet you do feel that way, don't you? You do feel honored to sit with me." John watched, a bit befuddled, as his lordship sipped his water and he couldn't help but wonder if Lord Grantham was already drunk. His very appearance in the Grantham Arms made no sense… the man wasn't one to pop down to a tavern to have a drink and chat with the working men. While he did care for them he was old fashioned in his belief that there were lines that must be drawn between the working class and the upper rungs of society. To sit on a barstool next to a ditch digger and ask him about his day was a bridge quite too far for Lord Grantham. "This is a lovely home you have made for yourself, Bates. Truly lovely."
"Thank you, my lord. Anna and I have done what we could to make it pleasant."
"How much work did you put into it? I remember it looking quite different the last time I was here but that was… oh, it had to be… thirty years ago." He marveled at that. "Thirty year… startling to think how much time can go along without realizing it." He smiled slightly at that, bemused, before answering the unasked question. "It was when I was a far younger man, before I had even gone to America. Before I even knew Cora's name. A fit of youthful rebellion against my father. I came down here and paid to stay the night, to prove to him that I could manage on my own without an army of servants to care for me. I did well enough but now I wonder just how much the owner did to make sure things went smoothly, covering up for my lack of knowledge." He waved his hand about. "But I asked you about what you had changed, no if you wanted to hear what it was like before you planted your flag."
"Well, not that much, truth be told," John stated. "Nothing in large scale. No tearing down walls or the like. But you can alter a room quite a bit with little touches. Anna has a good eye for that, knowing where to add and where to subtract. A vase here, a bit of fabric there, and the whole things looks completely different."
"That and time," Lord Grantham stated. "I suppose… well, I suppose that age makes us blur the lines in our own memories, to make things no longer as sharp and harsh as they once were. I look back at this place and I remember only the good and see it with fondness. Yet I am sure there were things I didn't like about it at all, things that made that past version of it rather poor… but you don't remember that. You remember the good. And the tragedy of it all, Bates, is that eventually you stop looking at what is in the present and look only to a past that wasn't even real."
John didn't say a word.
"I don't deserve you feeling honored sitting here with me, Bates. I don't deserve your loyalty either. And while I have told others that you were an old friend of mine I see now that I was being presumptuous. I do not deserve to call you my friend, not when I have done so little to earn that connection."
"Oh, I wouldn't know about that, my lord-"
"But I do," Lord Grantham said firmly, cutting him off. "I called you my friend when I went down to great you that first day in Downton, but I did little to show it. I talked with Carson before I came down here… it was rather trying because, as you may remember, he isn't the sort of man to give honest statements when a kind lie might be given to his employer, but I ordered him to tell me everything, warts and all, about life downstairs before the war. He informed me of things I didn't realize were happening in my own home. How my greeting of you in the servants' hall the first day you arrived caused several members of the staff to believe you to be a spy. That I wanted you to whisper in my ear all their secrets so I might sake them all." He shook his head. "I didn't even consider how that might look. Never occurred to me."
John was startled by that. He had never truly understood why Thomas had taken such a dislike to him when he'd arrived other than feeling that he should have gotten the position and not some 'bloody cripple'. It had only been recently that he'd learned the truth and that had come from Anna, who had talked with Thomas when he had been selected to see her to and from her visits to the doctor while pregnant with Noah and the former footman had confessed why he had loathed John so in those early days, before things had settled and they merely had fallen into a completive sniping of one another. John had been startled to hear that but Anna had admitted that even she had wondered if there was more to his lordship's hiring of him at first. Yet to hear that Mr. Carson had sussed out the reason for the man's dislike and then shared it with his lordship… it was like the world had spun about and now everyone was walking on the ceiling. It startled him and he was willing to admit made him a bit angry that Mr. Carson had known the problem but done nothing to solve it only to then wonder if the butler had thought the same thing.
'I wouldn't have blamed him… after all, he wasn't keen on me to begin with, as it was his Lordship who hired me and not him, and then to find out about such a connection? With all the changes going on during that time perhaps he truly did think I was some spy meant to discover how well he was running the staff.'
John cleared his throat. "I mean no offense but there are many things that happen downstairs that you weren't aware of. I can hardly blame you for that."
"But you can blame me for giving in to the words of others who convinced me to sack you for no good reason."
"But you changed my mind."
"That doesn't alter the fact that I almost did it," Lord Grantham stated, forcefully but with no fire. "Yes, it lessens it… but it still almost happened. And why? Because you slipped on some gravel?" John shifted a bit and Lord Grantham's eyebrows raised as his eyes widened. "Unless you didn't slip at all…"
"It doesn't matter anymore," John said, refusing to get Ms. O'Brien in trouble for something that had happened years ago.
"But there was a conspiracy to drive you out and I fell for it, I gather?" John could only nod and Lord Grantham shook his head in disgust. "Then I am a bigger fool than I thought."
"But you made up for it, my lord. You stopped the car. You brought me back to Downton. And we agreed never to speak of it again."
Lord Grantham huffed out a weary sigh. "Yes… only for me to do far worse a few years later. They say the greatest tragedy is when a man fails to learn from a prior mistake. For a mistake made once is just that… but one made a second time proves a man to be hopeless. And I, Bates, am quite helpless." He looked about the main room of the Grantham Arms, drinking it in. "You had done wonders with this place Bates. And you have done wonders with your life. You have found love and happiness and created a family. A true friend would have added to that happiness, sought to see it grow. But what did I do when you told me you were leaving? I scorned you and thought you a traitor. And why is that? Because I was greedy."
"You just didn't want things to change," John stated. "It is an understandable emotion. I was the same way with my first wife… I let her do things, terrible things, and made excuses for it in part because I blamed myself but also because I feared what may come if I allowed my life to change. The new is scary, it is frightening. The old, the known, no matter how horrible it is… it is a comfort. You know what is bad and can expect it to be bad but the new? You don't know what it might be. So you merely wanted to hold onto what you knew. One can't blame you for that."
"One can't… but I can. I can blame myself easily and I should. Because I didn't want you to stay for noble reasons. I didn't want you remain at Downton out of concern for you. I knew that this was the best for you. Not here," he tapped his forehead before moving his hand to his heart, "but here. I was just afraid to admit it. I knew that if you stayed it would make your life poorer than would it would be. But that didn't matter. I wanted you to stay because I was hurting and I was focused on how it would affect me. Only me. For God's sakes man you have a son I've never even seen before! A son! Do you remember during the war, how we would sit by the fire and talk about my family and you told me what you wanted to do for a child of your own?"
John smiled. He did remember. The two of them sitting near the fire, the snarls and howls of the exotic beasts creeping in the shadows plaguing their ears, but it didn't matter because they each had something warm in their cup and their minds weren't in Africa but in England, dreaming of the days to come. "That I'd have a daughter who would be a pleasant little thing who I'd teach all the names of the flowers to. And a son that would actually be skilled with his hands and be able to make beautiful things and tease me when I presented misshaped bits of wood that were supposed to be toys to him."
Lord Grantham chuckled at that, remembering how John had been utterly unable to pick up wood carving in even the most basic of forms. He'd once bollixed up making a toothpick.
"And has it been what you expected?"
John shook his head. "Not in the slightest. I'm tired, I am worried all the time, I feel like someone has grabbed hold of my head and my ankles and begun to pull me so that I am stretched to the point of breaking. And I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world."
His lordship nodded. "Such is the life of a parent. It is never what we expected but it is the most wondrous of things. To lose it…"
Lord Grantham stared at the fire for several long moments, occasionally raising his hand so he might take a sip from his water glass but otherwise remaining utterly still. John was stuck by the sight of it and he in that moment wished he had some skill with pencil and pad so he might sketch out the image before him. It was noble yet broken at the same time, the Earl of Grantham sitting in a worn chair, staring into the flames as if they held the answers to all of life's greatest mysterious. 'A Portrait of Solemn Man' or some other pretentious title.
"I have found myself these last few weeks considering the Greek Tragedies," his lordship finally said. "Oedipus, the works of Aeschylus, so forth. In so many of those tales people believe that it is the gods or curses or prophecy that doom the unfortunate souls but the scholars will always tell you that it is none of these things. No, it is hubris that leads to tragic ends." He looked down at his glass, taking in a long breath. "When my tutor told me that I thought it so odd that people would mourn these people. They believed themselves so above judgment or the sins of man and as such they got what they deserved. Do we mourn the killer who is led to the gallows? They have committed a crime they deserve to be punished. They weren't good people."
John could already tell where his lordship was going. "But they were good people, those Greek heroes, just as you are. Mistakes are made-"
"And punishment received," he stated. "I held Downton above my family. I thought its honor greater than their happiness. And now that is all I am left with... the honor of Downton. And even that is a fleeting thing, as one can easily see that my actions have dragged it through the dirt and sullied it possibly forever." He raised his hand and it was clear he wished to strike the armrest of his chair but when he did bring his hand down it was such a feeble swat that it hardly made a sound. It was the gesture of not an angry man but a tired one. "Do you remember that Turkish fiend who tried to violate Mary?"
'Oh yes,' John thought to himself. He couldn't help but remember, what with the room where he'd slain that bastard only a few strides away from his own bedchambers. His mother would have warned him to be careful, that homes remembered violence done within them and that the ghost of Mr. Pamuk was most likely waiting for him in the building he now called home. He'd even dreamed of the man one of the first nights he and Anna had slept under the hotel's roof. Pamuk had come at him with bleeding eyes and a dreadful moan, hands outstretched as he lunged for his neck.
John had merely caught the phantom by the throat and squeezed, the wraith twisting in his iron grip. "Every time you come back I'll just kill you again," he'd said before snapping the specter's neck.
He'd had only pleasant dreams since that night.
"Of course, my lord. I could hardly forget him after all he did."
"Quite," his Lordship stated. "That night in Mary's room he threatened to spread scandal about her, to claim she had invited him into her chambers. That she was a scarlet woman that no man would ever want. I told him... I told him that I would burn Downton to the ground if it protected her." His Lordship shook his head in disgust. "How can that man and I be the same? I, the man who drove his daughters away because his heir didn't join the part of the army I wanted him to?" He turned away from John and stared at the ceiling. "How could I have been so blind and so utterly stupid so that nearly every person I love wishes nothing to do with me?"
John didn't have an answer to that. He honestly didn't know what had made his lordship act as he had. Especially with Noah now in his life. He couldn't imagine anything that he would choose over that babe.
"There is always time to make things right, my lord," John finally said. "Forgiveness might be hard to earn, I won't lie and claim that it is easy to grasp. But it is always possible."
His lordship smiled at that. "The Dowager said much the same. Though I will admit you said it much more... politely." Having heard tales of how the Dowager Countess could behave John didn't doubt him for a moment. "I have plans to make this right, Bates. I do not expect things will ever go back to the way they were but I will find a way to earn their love and respect again. To get them to welcome me into their lives, no matter how small that role might be." He paused. "And it isn't just them that I need to make things right with. These last two years... I have failed everyone. The girls, her ladyship, Carson and Mrs. Hughes, the staff... and you. I am going to make things right. Starting now." He turned and looked John directly in the eye. "I beg your forgiveness for how I treated you upon your leaving my service. How I cast you out of my life and how I failed to be there for you in the most joyous times in your life. It was wrong and petty of me and those actions... I will never forget them. 'Forgive, perhaps, forget, never' as my mother is fond of saying."
"But you have plans?" John asked.
"I do. Matthew is the key to it all. The Dowager says that Lady Mary is the one I must win back, that if I can get her to forgive me then the girls and her Ladyship will follow her. That it is her anger that drives the rest of them. But how to make things right with her? Gifts won't do, nor kinds words. She would find it amusing if I dropped to my knees and begged but I doubt very much that would do much good in the end, other than I'd get to hear her laughter one more time. No, to make things right with Mary I must make things right with Matthew. And to do that I must come to him the proper way." He tapped his fingers against the armrest. "He and Sybil… they are the minds that drive everything, I see that now. Mary is smart but despite what she claims she leads with her heart. If you are in it then she will fight beyond reason for you. Be against her and you will find yourself punching a wall made of diamond. Edith has always been one better at adapting plans than creating them. Sybil and Matthew? The escape was their doing, their plan. I know it. They have become as thick as thieves since Matthew arrived here and no plan now will work without both of them being the focus.
"And I have such a plan."
"And… and that is?" John asked, a touch nervous as what his former employer may have come up with.
His Lordship smiled and shook his head. "Far too early for that, Bates. I have seeds… they haven't been planted yet. But soon. So while I wait for the soil to be readied I can instead begin on another crop… on fixing another wrong." He turned and reached into his pocket, pulling out a check. "When you left I did not reward you for your service. As I would have rewarded Carson or Mrs. Hughes upon their department. While I can not help you in setting up the Grantham Arms anymore I can give you this for the next improvement you make."
John took the check in his hand and swallowed at the number on it. He couldn't go buying a grand estate for Anna with the amount but with it he would be able to save the profit from the hotel for the next half decade to build a strong nestegg for his family without being unable to make the repairs and additions he and Anna had discussed.
Before he could speak his lordship said, "Don't dare think of refusing. I need you to accept this before I can make things right with you."
John nodded, it taking several attempts for him to get the check into his pocket, his hand was shaking so. But when he did he replayed what his lordship had said and his brow furrowed. "That… wasn't you making things right?"
"Not at all. Let us ignore the fact that you deserved that money no matter what. The truth is I would never be so arrogant to believe that I could buy you off. You are too noble for that. No… I have not been a true friend to you and only now can I set that right, now that our last transaction as employer and servant has been completed." He held his hand out. "John, would you mind terribly if I began to visit you from time to time? To share a drink, to share stories of our lives, to offer you advice on your troubles as I will ask you to do the same for me."
John. Not Bates. John.
"My lord-"
"Robert," he said firmly. "Between us, when the world and what it expects does not intrude… it is Robert."
He swallowed. "Robert… I would be honored." He took Lord… he took Robert's hand in his own and shook it.
"You needn't worry quite yet about me inviting you and Anna and Noah to the house for a meal… I would be thrilled to have you but I know how awkward that would be for you both and it would be cruel of me to do so just to make my loneliness fade away. But should my plans bear fruit then I do believe that you and your family will be comfortable riding up. For now we will meet here, until the time is right." He rose and smiled. "And with that I will leave."
"If… if you'd like to stay for dinner," John offered but Robert waved him off.
"You have plans with your family, John. I could tell the moment I came in I was intruding. You've done enough." He walked over and retrieved his coat and hat. "But send a note to me when you do have the time and we'll make plans." He paused and politely tipped his hat and John turned to see a thunderstruck Anna standing in the doorway, eyes as wide as Daisy's at her most perplexed, mouth parted open as she openly stared at the Lord of Downton. "Anna… thank you for your husband's time."
And with that Robert Crawley left.
John held up his hands when Anna turned to stare at him. "I have as much of a clue as you."
~MC~MC~MC~
Author's Notes: Welcome to the Robert Redemption Arc. It took nearly 20 chapters but we finally enter Robert moving to make things right with everyone. And yes, he and Violet have a plan.
So this next Plot Bunny is, admittedly, designed more for people who want to get more… smutty… with their stories. For those who don't know I wrote a one-shot for this series over on AO3 that dealt with Matthew and Mary's wedding night. It isn't posted here as I decided to challenge myself by making it fully graphic, so that it described Matthew and Mary making love for the first time in full detail. This plot bunny came from me working on another chapter, one decidedly NOT in canon to this story but in the same universe. Without getting to graphic the basic idea of that story is that Mary, Edith, Sybil, Anna, and Gwen get VERY drunk (everyone has left Downton so they are the only five there and Mary commands the maids to drink), they talk about their love lives and Sybil finds out that none of the other four women have… indulged in themselves. So she decides to teach them.
The ending for that chapter actually inspired this plotbunny, as it saw Matthew arrive back at Downton early only to discover the scene.
The plot bunny isn't that. But it was inspired by it. Basically remember how Matthew commented he was worried that Cora and Robert would throw each of the girls at him? What if they didn't need to throw them at him? What if they ran up and glomped him all on their own?
The story would be about Matthew, much to his own befuddlement, having every woman in Downton fall for him… HARD. It would start with Mary and the first time she saw him… and rather than getting mad when she first arrived in her riding gear, seeing him as some sort of evil thief taking what was her's, she would ask to speak with him alone and within 10 minutes they would be making out like high school students (well, more that Mary sits him down, comments there is no good place to sit, then crawls on top of his lap to take a "ride"). Matthew would think that was that, he would be with Mary, who would be quite happy to hold his hand and walk him right into Downton and inform her parents that she is with him now. But then, while doing the tour of the church with Edith, she would mention men and women worshiping together and stating that the union of man and woman is a holy thing… so best get holy, rip off his shirt, shuck her dress, and have a go.
Okay, going to be awkward, right? Except Mary has no problem with this… let Edith have her fun, "the poor dear can't compete with me… I'll prove it, take off those pants". Everything is basically the same except Edith and Mary each decide that they want Matthew and get a bit competitive to prove who can please him best. Pamuk wishes to speak to Lady Mary during the dinner? He walks in on Mary and Matthew going at it and has a heart attack on the spot. Later on Edith wants to learn how to drive? Its so she can take the two of them to a secluded spot and show Matthew some things she learned.
Okay, just the girls being competitive. And at least they aren't fighting to keep him all to themselves. Matthew can deal with this.
Except when Sybil got hurt at the rally? Nope, not hurt at all. Just needed to get Matthew to bring her back to Crawley House so she could seduce him. One moment he turns his back and when he looks back at here there she is in flimsy lingerie posing for him. Mary and Edith said how good he was and all three sisters have decided they will share the title of Duchess of Grantham.
And it wouldn't be just the Crawley girls. Matthew takes a wrong turn and there is Anna dressed in a French maid's outfit… oh, terrible mixup, Mr. Crawley, Mr. Carson is sorting it out and will get my regular uniform back… but first let me bend over and did I forget to wear anything under this? How silly of me, now let me just back up against you…
Gwen decides to get a job at his law firm and well… Matthew never heard of those randy secretary stories but he's living one. He really doesn't believe that she should be sitting on his lap while taking notes and shouldn't they be dressed?
Back at Crawley house he goes to turn in… and my word Daisy what are you doing here, when did you install that stripper pole, and dear lord did you just bend your legs over your head?!
As you can see it could get as graphic as you wanted… and as hilarious as literally every female is throwing themselves at Matthew. And all are completely willing to share. Mary comes in while he is changing for dinner and goes, "Hello Cousin Matthew, this is Lavinia. We just met and we have all decided she's moving in to Downton. She's double jointed."
…and of course all the men, save for an utterly flustered Thomas, don't notice a thing and think Thomas is going insane as he tries to tell them that yes, he did see Cora go upstairs dressed only in leather knickers and a riding crop and why won't any of you listen?! You can literally hear Matthew having sex with Cousin Rose right now! No, Mr. Bates, I will not calm down! Look! Ethel just walked by completely naked to borrow whipped cream from Mrs. Patmore! Please, please someone listen!
