He knew he was distracted.
Thomas couldn't help it. Even though he knew he should be focused on work his mind kept going back to Millie and how she'd pressed herself against him and kissed him. Unlike most men it wasn't fondness he felt for that embrace but utter confusion. And revulsion. Plenty of that. He'd kissed Jonsey many times but those had always been wonderful. The little pecks that showed they cared for each other and were willing to be so tender and open. The more passionate and needing kisses, when they'd not so much come together as collided in a crash. Long simmering embraces that left them gasping for air yet also ready to begin once again.
But Millie? That had been… wrong. Disgusting. Not just because she was a woman but HOW she'd kissed him, with her tongue invading his mouth and wiggling about like a worm dug up from a wet field. She'd sealed her lips around his and forced his mouth open and-
'Stop thinking about it!' he mentally told himself as he made his way towards the commissary to get something to tide him over until lunch. He'd been forced to come in early that day so he might take care of some paperwork from the night before and that had meant eating a rather quick breakfast of buttered bread and an apple as he'd hurried along the still darkened streets to get to his office. That had been at 5 in the morning and now it was 9 and his stomach was begging for something to fill it. 'Lady Mary's pastries would have been a nice treat,' he thought to himself glumly; when Matthew had been at the office he always had brought along a plate of some flaky and wonder dessert every few days but now he had to suffer like everyone else and wait for his bi-monthly delivery.
Not that he could actually bring her pastries and pies to the office… they disappeared far too quickly. After catching Bertie guilty finishing off one of her tarts he'd decided to always collect them from the General's home and take them back to his flat where he could enjoy them. Not even Jonsey was allowed to steal his treats!
So with no pastries at the ready he needed to go buy his own. Luckily there were plenty of women throughout London that donated all manner of baked goods to the War Office to help the lads get through the day. You still had to buy them but the money went into the coffers to pay for better lunches and sometimes supplies so it didn't feel as bad. And they were certainly cheaper than what the bakeries nearby charged and the less said about the restaurants the better!
'Maybe something not too sweet but hearty,' he thought to himself as he continued down the hall, making his way towards the corner that led past some more offices. He heard footfalls and then a door shut but thought nothing of it, instead focused on filling his stomach. 'Something that will fill me up enough that I can have a light lunch.' His thoughts turned to his midday meal… he'd get something leafy, perhaps. A salad. Normally he wasn't one for that but the memory of Millie squirming her tongue between his lips had turned him off of beef and pork for a little while. 'I could get one of those bagels the General is partial too.' He'd told Thomas how he'd first becoming interested in the dense circular bread during a brief stay in New York when he'd stumbled upon the Jewish district and sampled their wares. 'He does put meat on his but I could just do a bit of cream or jam. Or eat it plain… Mrs. Patmore used to make breads that tasted so good you didn't even need to butter-'
"Well, imagine finding you here."
Thomas froze as he heard Millie's voice, the need to flee filling him. Maybe to New York himself, to find that little bakery the General had visited.
But as he looked around he didn't see her and he first felt relief only to then feel panic because he worried if she had broken his brain so badly with that kiss that now he was hallucinating her voice speaking.
Then, to both his relief and dismay, he heard her speak yet again.
"Oh, did I startle you?" Millie said somewhere to his left but when Thomas glanced that way he found only a half closed door and suddenly the pieces fell into place. The footsteps he'd heard just as he turned the corner must have been from her. And she wasn't talking to him, thank goodness; most likely talking to Greg-
"Ah, Miss Travers!" Bertie said, sounding rather startled indeed by the woman's arrival. "Whatever are you doing here."
So not Greg then.
Thomas found himself doing something he hadn't done since Downton: Pressing himself against the wall just outside the doorway, ear cocked in a manner so he could hear everything being said. It wasn't though because he wanted in on some juicy gossip but rather a need to know if Millie was going to ask more questions about him. He feared that she would begin to give people the wrong idea, make them think he was interested in her, and that could lead to drama within his department that he had no need of. He could only imagine how Greg would whine and complain should news that the woman he was courting was interested in Thomas. It wouldn't matter, of course, that Thomas had no desire for the woman… Greg would see it as a slight and that man-
"I came to see you, Bertie," Millie said. "I've been… thinking about you."
"Thinking about me?" Bertie asked and there were the sounds of footfalls backing further into the room… and the click of a woman's shoes following.
'I have to stop assuming things,' Thomas thought to himself.
"Of course. How could I not? A man like you… oh, you are hard to get out of one's head." Thomas could hear the same purr in her words as when she'd come on to him and he could only imagine that at that moment she was moving in closer to Bertie, far closer than was proper. "I've asked around about you, Bertie… and found out so many interesting things."
"Is… is that so?" Bertie said, clearly confused by her comments. Almost as much as Thomas was. Why was Millie asking about Bertie to everyone? Had she realized that Thomas wasn't interested in her after that kiss? If so… why had she still making appearances in the office, fluttering her eyes at him whenever she thought someone wasn't looking? She'd been around several times, Thomas quick to find an excuse to creep away from her when she showed up to meet with Greg about something, and never given him any sense that she had come to realize that he wasn't interested in her at all.
"Oh yes," she said. "People talk, Bertie, and many times what they say has little meaning… until one actually begins to put it together. It's rather like a puzzle… gathering each piece until the picture… the secret… is revealed. And you naughty boy… what a secret you have."
"I-" Bertie began to say only for his words to be cut off and instead a muffled exclamation to come from him. Thomas risked edging around the door and saw, much to his shock and surprise, that Millie was molding herself to his clerk in the same kind of passionate embrace that she'd given him!
'What in the world?' Thomas thought before quickly pulling away, making sure the door was between him and the two's line of sight. He heard Bertie gasp and knew that Millie must have broken away, the woman finally speaking again.
"Don't worry… I'll keep your secret. It will be something between the two of us."
Thomas pressed his body tight to the wall as she left, thankful that the door swung out into the hall rather than into the room. She never paid him any notice, making her way off… somewhere… before Thomas finally decided it was safe to leave.
"Oh… oh thank heavens," Bertie said, showing that perhaps it HADN'T been the best moment to make his escape. His clerk grabbed him and yanked him into the room before shutting and locking the door, pressing his form to it as if he were afraid it would be broken down at any moment by Millie looking to go round once more. "Thomas… something very… unusual happened just now."
"Are you referring to Miss Travers and her lips?" Thomas asked, causing Bertie to blush at that.
"I swear, I did NOTHING to make her think that was something I desired. You have to-"
"I believe you."
"-believe me that…" Bertie blinked at that. "You believe me?"
"I do," Thomas said softly. "She did the same thing to me."
"She kissed you?" Bertie said in shock and disgust.
"Don't sound too offended there, Bertie," Thomas said with a scoff.
His clerk grimaced at that. "I'm sorry, I didn't… no, wait, why are we acting like this is something either of us wanted?" He paused. "You didn't want it, correct?"
"There are not enough words in the English language to express how much I did NOT want Millie to pin me against a wall and force her tongue down my throat."
"Why would she even do that?" Bertie complained. "It was… vile!"
"I quite agree," Thomas said, folding his arms over his chest and let out a huff of annoyance. He'd never considered it in the week since that kiss had happened but he did find himself actually liking the fact that he had someone he could actually talk to about Millie and her mouth assault. "Greg and you left and she suddenly decided to press herself against me in a way that no human being has ever done before."
That was a lie. Jonsey had pressed himself FAR closer to Thomas than Millie had but he wasn't about to admit that to the other man.
"The same," Bertie said, reaching up and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "And then all that talk about secrets… it made no sense."
Thomas blinked at that. He'd been so focused on Millie kissing Bertie that he'd completely forgotten her words about secrets to him. While the comments hadn't been the exact same as the ones she'd made to him… they had been close enough.
"I honestly don't know what she was going on about," Bertie complained. "What secret? I have no secrets, especially anything naughty or dangerous or the like. Unless others are spreading false ones about me…"
Thomas shook his head. "No, I don't think that's it," he murmured. He'd been so scared that Millie had found out he was a homosexual while at the same time utterly confused by how she'd come on to him. He'd thought it some strange power play… perhaps believing that she could make him like normal men with a simple kiss. Or she was delusional and didn't understand what being gay meant. Perhaps that she was seeking to have power over him in the most perverse of ways.
And yet now with Bertie… all those thoughts had been cast aside.
What was going on?
~MC~MC~MC~
"She kissed you both?" Jonsey said, settling down on the sofa.
Thomas had come to the other man's flat after work, having barely managed to make it through the day. After he'd managed to help Bertie calm down the two of them had gone for lunch, where Bertie had spent much of the time trying to puzzle out just what 'secret' Millie might hold concerning him. It didn't matter that Thomas told him that the woman was clearly quite mad; Bertie couldn't help but worry that he'd done something to someone and caused them to become upset with him. And such anger had led them to spread rumors about him… once he'd gotten going there had been no calming him down. It was actually rather amazing how the normally calm and down to earth Bertie could suddenly become so panicked and worried thanks to one little kiss.
'Well, not so much a little kiss,' Thomas thought to himself, looking down at his glass that Jonsey had filled with some cheap but rather taste alcohol. Bourbon from the Colonies, if he remembered correctly. Cheap and different and it so went against the British way of life. Which so summed up Jonsey. The man lived and breathed being a rebel. He was part of the military but had no qualms about speaking his mind and letting the world know just how he felt about the entire establishment. He had not interest in the standard entertainments that so many of the masses enjoyed. He had no desire to dance, found it rather horrid to attend a singing performance (something he'd once claimed came from his father, who hated such things with a passion), and the reading of poetry or the like bored him to tears. He'd once told Thomas that if he dragged him to a play he best be prepared for him to heckle the performers. Jonsey was well read but didn't like the classics for the most part and those he did enjoy he experienced far differently from others…
~MC~MC~MC~
"Are you all right in there?" Thomas called out, finishing cleaning the dishes and putting them in the rack to dry. There weren't many things he missed about Downton but Mrs. Patmore and the kitchen girls cleaning the plates and silverware was definitely something he wished still occurred in this new life of his. He could manage just fine it was just so odd for him to actually think about cleaning the plates and the cutlery; pots and pans too if he attempted to make something.
From the bedroom Jonsey let out another laugh. A full throated sound that seemed to rattle the walls and make the entire flat shake. Thomas had heard the other man chuckle and snicker and guff but never had he heard such laughter as what came out of Jonsey's mouth in that moment. Setting the towel aside he padded down the short hall to his room where Jonsey was seated on the bed, shoes kicked off and coat tossed aside, still chuckling as he read from the book he'd grabbed to entertain himself while Thomas cleaned up.
"Do I need to call for some asylum workers?" Thomas asked, leaning in the doorway.
"Hmmm?" Jonsey said, finally looking up though a smile tugged on his lips as another peel of laughter threatened to burst from behind his teeth.
"You were laughing so loudly I worried the neighbors would come banging on my door."
"Sorry… good book."
"I can imagine. What is it?"
"Oh, just a farce about prince from Denmark."
"Really?" Thomas said, interested.
"Oh yes," Jonsey said, flipping through the pages. "Everyone dies."
"…and?"
"And that's it."
"So what's so funny about that?"
Jonsey frowned. "I just said… everyone dies. Revenge is had but it costs everyone everything. All the characters die."
"And that's… funny?"
"Of course!" Jonsey said with a laugh. "And that's after the betrayals! Brother betrays brother… friends betray friends… they all back stab each other in the name of possessions and wealth and-" Jonsey snickered, "-they all die!" He looked at Thomas, eyes wide and a grin on his face, waiting for Thomas to join him in laughter only for the former footman to just stare at the other man in confusion. "Maybe you need to read it? I really liked the part where he finds the jester's skull after its been dug up from its grave!"
Thomas just stared at Jonsey.
"Come on now, that is funny! The Prince's lover just killed herself and he finds his old fool's skull and-where are you going?" Jonsey called out as Thomas fled the room.
~MC~MC~MC~
Jonsey was someone who liked to keep to himself and truly enjoyed a good conversation. He'd told Thomas that while it was nice he was attractive (something that normally would have made him puff up with arrogant pride but coming from Jonsey made him look down at his feet and shuffle about nervously) if he didn't have a brain in his head Jonsey wouldn't have ever given him the time of day.
'But at the moment I feel like an empty headed fool,' Thomas thought to himself before answering. "Yes. There was of course some time between both kisses… she didn't go from me to him. But yes, she kissed us both."
"And said that she knew your secret."
"At first I assumed that she had learned that I…"
"That you what?"
"You know what," Thomas told him dryly.
"Oh… right. That you snore. Yes, that would be something you'd need to hide. Wouldn't want others finding out about that." Thomas shot him a dark look but Jonsey merely smirked right back at him. "Not that? Perhaps then your appalling use of a knife and fork. For someone who worked at a great estate the fact that you hold your knife like you are about to fight off a Hun invasion…"
"You know what I mean."
"I swear I don't."
"That I am a homosexual!" Thomas snapped.
Jonsey started before gasping in horror. "You… you never told me that! How could you not tell me something so important! All the time we spent together, kissing and fondling each other and making love and I never knew you secretly enjoyed the company of men! What will I am the Men's Gay Choir of London do now!?"
"I shut it!" Thomas groused.
Jonsey smacked Thomas' knee. "I'm just being playful, love. And I don't blame you because I would have worried about the same thing… up until the daft girl kissed me and then I'd wonder if there was some other secret that was going around that I didn't know about."
"That is what has Bertie worried," Thomas told him. "He's concerned that people are gossiping about him."
Jonsey shook his head. "One person being told they have a secret… perhaps. But the same method used on two different people? No, there is something else going on here."
"I thought as much but I just can't follow what her motives might be. If it were just me I'd think that it was Greg putting her up to it-"
Jonsey though shook his head. "From what you've told me of the man I doubt he'd be able to handle a lady that he was courting being so forward with another man. It's utterly scandalous. If done with the wrong person it would ruin her. Or what if the man accepted… I know there are people that use women in such ways but they aren't seeking to marry them!" he shook his head. "Could you see Greg doing that?"
Thomas clicked his teeth together. "I want to say no, of course not, but the man does want my job. If he were desperate enough…" Finally though he shook his head. "No, you're right about that. He would see it as too great a risk to staining his own reputations. That is why he wants my job… he sees his own position as beneath him and he's desperate to rise up higher. But he isn't so desperate that he'd take that kind of risk. Barraging into the General's office during a meeting? That he can justify. Twist the logic to make himself out to be in the right. But forcing Millie to try and seduce me? That makes no sense." He let out a huff, shifting so he could snuggle up closer to Jonsey, who reached around and began to lightly run his fingers along Thomas' hair.
"And then there is Bertie," Jonsey finally pointed out. "You it makes sense… a twisted, moronic sense… but sense. Plenty of men with power have been taken by the wives and daughters of those under them. With daughters it's a common thing. A servant will try and get his child to become the king's mistress and thus get the jewels and the coins needed to change their live." He scrunched his nose up. "But Bertie… that one makes little sense."
"That's what I keep coming around to!" Thomas complained. "I see now she was fishing… hoping that she could startle me with that claim of knowing my secret so that I would go to her and reveal it. But why not just blackmail me? Why kiss me as well?"
"Because sometimes a fisherman will use two different kinds of bait," Jonsey finally said. "Thomas… have you considered that we are asking the wrong question?"
"What do you mean?"
"We keep wondering why she kissed you. Perhaps-" He paused.
"Perhaps?"
"Perhaps we should be wondering why she wanted you to believe she knew a secret about you."
"You just said, to tell her one. She was looking for a secret."
"Yes, yes," Jonsey said, shifting so he was sitting up a bit straighter. "There is that. But… what is the end goal? You and Bertie… what does it matter if she knows some secret? What can she do with it?"
Thomas frowned at that. "Blackmail, like I said."
"Perhaps… it would be a cunning way to go about it. Trick someone into revealing a secret that you can then use against them."
Thomas could hear the doubt in the other man's words. "I agree, we're missing another piece." He groaned. "And I just want this solved. It is affecting my work! I can't focus on contracts and supply lines or the like when I'm worried about Millie showing up and wanting to shove her tongue in my mouth again! Its made it hard to kiss you even. And I know that Greg has noticed and that is very much the last thing I need! He already sniffs about far too much." He didn't comment on the fact that Greg was acting much as Thomas once had when it came to Mr. Bates. "I have enough problems keeping him in line without him noticing that I'm distracted! Blast that woman. She is-" He looked over at Jonsey only to find that he was staring off into the distance, mouth slightly opened as he used his free hand to lightly stroke his chin. "What is it?"
"The missing piece," Jonsey whispered. "We've been going about this all wrong."
"What do you mean?"
"We assumed that you were the first she went after and then Bertie. But… what if you're not."
"…Greg?"
"He made mistakes. You told me that. That's why he's in your department, he said the wrong things and was attacked and needed to be moved for his own safety. What if he did more though? What if there is some secret he is hiding from everyone… and Millie figured it out."
"And… what? Convinced him to let her come to the office and try and do the same to me and Bertie?"
Jonsey nodded. "Maybe." He gently sat up, forcing Thomas to pull away from him. "Or maybe she wanted to gain his trust. Make him feel like she was the only person you could rely upon. It is a trick that can be used… you force someone to work for you and then you let off the pressure. Let them feel a bit of relief. Until they come to see you not merely as the one causing their pain but also the only one that helps relieve it."
"Are you sure?" Thomas said. "That sounds a bit far fetched."
"You've never talked with someone you didn't full trust… perhaps knew you should avoid… because you just wanted someone to talk to?"
Thomas thought of Mrs. O'Brien. "…you're right. So Greg and Millie…"
"She comes to him and does the same thing she did to you and Bertie. She shows interest, gets close, and then breaks the news that she knows something about him. But she is willing to hide it. Because she cares for him. And soon he no longer sees it as horrid she knows his secret… but a blessing. And that blessing leads to him allowing her to do far more."
"Damn," Thomas murmured. "The poor sap wouldn't even realize that he was being tricked. Beautiful girls shows an interest in him… but then she reveals that not only does she know some secret about him she cares so very much about him that she's willing to ignore it. To keep it hidden." He shook his head in shock as things began to become clearer. "He'd see it as evidence they should be together rather than her holding something over his head."
"Like I said… the one that can bring pain can also protect."
Thomas frowned though. "But then why me? Why Bertie? She got Greg why continue with us? What could-"
He froze.
"Thomas?"
"Damn me to Hell, how could I be so blind," he whispered. "The Office."
Jonsey's mouth opened a touch. "Oh."
Thomas collapsed against their seat. "Of course. That's why Greg is so desperate for my job! Why he wants in good with the General! Our office… people think little of it but our contracts… in the wrong hands they could be highly dangerous. Allow someone to know just what the army has much of… and what we are lacking. Plan ahead with attacks. Know which battleions are well staffed and which ones are low on men." He smacked the cushion. "Damn it all that's the answer. The woman is a spy!"
Jonsey remained quiet.
"What do we do now?" Thomas asked. "The General? Maybe-"
Jonsey stood up and, much to Thomas' shock and surprise, went over to a cedar chest and pulled out a radio. He'd never seen Jonsey with it before and yet there it was, being quickly assembled with deft hands before Jonsey tuned it in to the right frequency and the static that had been bursting from it when he first turned it on gave way to a shrieking chime.
"Identiy."
He pressed a finger to his lips, Thomas nodding in surprise, before Jonsey took up the receiver and said, "This is Black Fox. Communication for The Gray Whale only. Priority Sigma."
There was a pause and a different voice came on.
"This is Gray Whale."
"Requesting to bring in civilian who has come in contact with potential German spy. Thomas Barrow."
"Agreed. 0900 tomorrow."
And with that the radio went dead.
Jonsey turned to Thomas.
"So… you've never asked me before exactly what it is I do for the army…"
