Chapter Four
I've known it from the very start
We're a shot in the darkest dark
Oh no, oh no, I'm unarmed
~ Taylor Swift, Say Don't Go (Taylor's Version)
BPOV
Most people probably thought I lived a pretty easy life. Comparatively, I did. I had more money than I needed, a career I genuinely enjoyed, and that was a lot more than most. It wasn't easy, though. Fun, yes. Easy? Hardly.
Edward probably thought I had been exaggerating when I told him I would spend most of my time in bed while he was gone at practice. I wasn't.
Add in the fact that Edward's home was absurdly comforting and cozy, and it was a dangerous combination for a girl who could sleep for twelve straight hours and still be tired. The sun was already beaming through the windows when I groggily woke up to a knock at my bedroom door. Or a punch, really.
I scrubbed my eyes and padded over to the door, cracking it open only to find Miss Daisy Mae sitting rather impatiently outside of it. As soon as the door was open she squeezed herself inside, jumped on the bed, and made herself nice and cozy. I smiled over at her, meandering back over to bed and easily falling back asleep.
It was a few hours later that I rolled over in bed again, met with a huff as I accidentally bumped into the fluff ball beside me. I mumbled an apology which she seemed to accept as she curled up on the pillow beside my head.
My phone vibrated on the bedside table and I blindly reached behind me for it. I smiled at the string of messages waiting for me.
E: Heading off to practice and didn't want to wake you. Help yourself to anything in the house. Feel free to snoop if you'd like. I gave Sam and the guys my number in case of an emergency. I hope that's okay. Dinner at seven?
That first message came at about seven this morning. A solid eight hours ago.
E: Since Sam hasn't come hunt me down, I'm going to assume you're still asleep.
Four hours ago.
E: Christ I thought I slept a lot. Let me know when you're up. Or if you're still alive.
Two hours ago.
B: Awake and alive. I told you I would spend my days passed out. Daisy is an excellent cuddler.
I scrubbed my hands over my face, attempting to wake myself up. Eyes scanning the room, lingering over little pieces of Edward Cullen's life, did the trick and had my mind immediately in overdrive.
Maybe I was old fashioned and foolish. Or had spent too many nights reading cheesy rom-coms. But I had been fascinated with the concept of falling in love since I was fifteen and read Romeo and Juliet for the first time. Had been so excited to find out what my own love story would be like one day.
It was a part of myself that had been buried ever since Jacob practically left me at the altar. The part of me he strung along for months after, telling me we would work things out. That we just needed some time and it would all fall into place soon. It was that naive, foolish, trusting part of me I had been too scared to let back out.
Because the thing about me… I was a hopeless, hopeless, romantic. I wanted it all, had since I could remember. Enough to blind myself to all of the problems brewing between Jacob and I because I thought he was my happily ever after.
I knew part of me hadn't taken dating seriously the last few years because I was hurt and picky, but I was also scared. Didn't trust myself not to fall too quickly.
Which is exactly what I could feel happening last night.
Edward Cullen was breaking all of my carefully built walls. In a shockingly short amount of time.
But he was also checking every box I had when it came to a man I could see myself falling for. Hard.
He was confident. Maybe overly so, but Seth had said the confidence was rightfully earned if he was apparently the best quarterback in the league. But he had a very clear line between confident and cocky. He was able to be confident in himself without trying to shove everyone else down at the same time. It was easy to see as I asked him about his job and his team mates. He respected every single person that he worked with, whether it was someone on the field with them or a team doctor keeping them pieced together.
He loved his family. His parents made it to every home game he played and sister made it to as many as her school schedule allowed. It was easy to see that his family dynamic was the complete opposite of mine.
And he was a gentleman. Frustratingly so. Because he bought me dinner and didn't try to cop a feel. But I had quickly realized I was putty around the man and wanted him to cop a feel.
So I couldn't tell if I loved or hated the fact that Edward was a gentleman. Was it a pro or con that he seemed to be exactly who I had been looking for?
I was overthinking things and I knew it. But after Jacob left, I spent some time (too much of it really) trying to figure it out. How I could have been so blind or naive or just plain ignorant to the actual dynamic of our relationship.
After an embarrassing amount of time I came to the realization that I was young. Love really was blind. And hindsight really was twenty-twenty.
Because if I hadn't been so foolishly in love with the man I thought Jacob had turned into, I would have seen who he had become. I would have noticed the glares at my awards, the way he never asked me about my work and only bragged about his. I couldn't pinpoint it exactly, the moment the boy I had loved turned into the man who broke my heart, but it was a gradual change I guess.
And one that had me promising myself I would never settle for feeling that way again.
I would never let a man talk down to me again. Never let a man waste my time if he was going to be jealous that I had a bigger bank account than them, never tolerate the idiotic jealousy if he was going to be upset I won an award over him.
Standards. I had them now, which was one of the reasons my dating life had been rather lackluster once I got over Jacob.
Edward was the complete opposite of Jake, though. Something that was already glaringly obvious. I couldn't remember a time I had enjoyed myself as much as I had last night with him.
It was your typical first date discussions about life and family and work, but there was nothing mundane about it. I soaked in every word he said and he did the same with me.
I let out a sigh, curling myself up in a ball beside Daisy. "I'm already in over my head," I mumbled to her, scratching her fluffy little head.
My phone vibrated in my hand.
E: Daisy learned from the best. Are you up for dinner out tonight or would you rather stay in?
Edward Cullen, star quarterback of the Seattle Seahawks: self admitted cuddler.
B: Out is good. I've got about sixteen hours worth of sleep to burn through.
—How You Get The Girl—
There was a knock at the bedroom door I had sworn I had left open precisely at seven, right as I was tying the strap of my heel around my ankle. I took one last quick look at myself in the mirror of the beautiful bathroom I had been getting ready in.
I wore a pale pink floral embroidered corset top paired with a high waisted neutral colored skirt. My white heels wrapped around my ankles in bows I spent ten minutes perfecting and I nervously fiddled with my stack of necklaces as I walked toward the door.
I rolled my lips to hide my smile as I saw Edward standing there. "Did you close the door just so you could knock on it?"
He nodded, not an ounce of shame coming off of him. "Of course."
I shook my head, still having to angle it up to look at him even in my heels. His hair was still slightly damp, which made it look closer to brown than red. He wore a classic black button down with the first few buttons undone and slacks that seemed to be tailored to his exact measurements.
I had to swallow back a mouth full of saliva that threatened to turn into drool.
"For you," he said softly, holding out a bouquet of flowers.
I smiled up at him, burying my nose in the bouquet. "Thank you."
"Are you ready?"
I nodded, eyes still on the pretty flowers so I was unprepared for his other hand when he placed it on the center of my back as we walked down the hall.
Warmth radiated from it, hitting the center of my spine and shooting through my veins.
"Not that I haven't imposed on you enough, but do you—"
Before I could ask for a vase for the flowers, we rounded the corner to his kitchen where one waited on the counter, already filled with water.
"Were you a boy scout?" I asked him, rearranging the flowers in the vase. "Always prepared and all that?"
Edward shook his head. "Didn't have time. Too many sports to keep up with."
I chuckled, but it was cut off as he grabbed my hand and gave it a firm squeeze.
See if this is something worth fighting for he had said yesterday. Maybe it was that hopeless romantic part of me or the warmth that was still stinging my spine from his touch earlier, but I felt like I already had my answer.
And it terrified me.
My steps faltered as we walked out of the house and Edward stopped in front of a sleek black sports car while I had been on my way to the SUV I had assumed Sam would be waiting in.
"I—"
"I already talked to them about it. I'm an excellent driver, I promise."
I saw Sam leaning against the SUV and he gave me a nod. It wasn't that I didn't trust Edward's driving. It was that I didn't trust anyone else.
The car was tiny but obviously luxurious. If I knew a thing about cars, I probably would have been impressed by it.
I knocked my knuckle against the thin, blacked out window as Edward folded himself into the driver's seat. "Huh."
"It's no private jet, but it'll get us to dinner in one piece."
I chuckled. "I just haven't been in a car without bullet proof windows since I was like seventeen." I took a deep breath and turned my attention back to him. "That sounds really dramatic. But—"
"I get it," Edward said softly. "I talked to Sam a bit this morning about the logistics of everything."
My brows shot up. "Really?"
"Yeah. I know your life has to run differently from mine. I wanted to make sure my plan was doable and you'd feel comfortable. Safe."
I swallowed back the lump in my throat. "Thanks."
Security had been a growing issue in the last year or so. I had a few too many stalkers for my comfort these days. I never expected Edward to think that part of the date through, though. It wasn't his responsibility.
My eyes went to my window as I watched Seattle blur by. The sun was starting to set in the distance and a few raindrops splattered against the window and the city lights started turning on.
Then, before I could ask what we were doing, Edward's car pulled into a secluded area right beside the Space Needle.
A bubble of panic settled in my gut as Edward got out of the car and made his way to my door. He held his hand out for me, eyes meeting mine and seeing my hesitation.
There were a million reasons for the hesitation from paparazzi to fans to knowing that after tonight he would be able to break me into tiny little pieces in the blink of an eye.
But then his lips twitched up to the left and his eyes caught the sunlight as he said, "Trust me."
And even though I would probably regret it in the future, I did.
Sam followed a few paces behind us as Edward led me through what was obviously not the main entrance of the monument. A man in a suit met us inside with a polite smile.
"Right this way," he said kindly.
All three of us followed him to the empty main area of the Space Needle. It was late, and I supposed the place was closed for the night. Or supposed to be.
The four of us ended up in an elevator and before I could ask any questions I watched Seattle zip by as we went up, up, up to the very top.
"I'm a little late, but you're not scared of heights, are you?" Edward mumbled into my ear.
I shook my head with a chuckle, unable to tear my eyes away from the view.
I traveled a lot, but my views were typically hotel room windows and stadium dressing rooms. I didn't get to do much sightseeing, not the last few years.
I followed Edward blindly, eyes too busy taking in everything until we ended up at a glaringly empty restaurant. We sat in a booth, side by side, that faced out to the city.
It was a few moments before I could speak. "Did you…rent out the Space Needle?"
Edward shrugged noncommittally. The gleam in his eye was answer enough. "I know you're easy and all that, but I hope you don't mind that I already put in a food order for us."
My cheeks burned. "Never going to live that one down, huh?"
"Never."
I rolled my lips, eying him as he sat beside me. This man who had somehow fallen into my life and made me smile more in the past few weeks than I had in months. I didn't know everything about him, not yet, but I wanted to. More than I should at this point. Which put me in a very dangerous situation.
"Casual dating isn't my thing," I blurted out.
Edward sat back against the booth and smiled kindly over at me. "And you think it's mine?"
I shook my head. "I don't know. I just—I'm not a casual girl. I'm not interested in being a booty call or being a shiny notch in your belt that you brag about in the locker room."
"I've done the casual thing in the past," he admitted. "And quickly realized it's not my thing. I'm not looking for a booty call or a woman who will make being a wag her career—"
"I'm sorry," I interrupted. "Um, wag?"
Edward chuckled. "Wives and girlfriends of athletes."
"Oh."
"All cards on the table, Bella… I like you. I think you're an incredibly talented woman and admire your career and tenacity. I know the kind of mindset it takes to be the best, and it's not easy, no matter your path."
My heart started an uneven rhythm against my ribs. "I like you, too," I admitted softly.
His lips twitched up to the left. "Neither of us can promise that everything will work out, that neither of us will get hurt, but you're worth the risk to me."
That's what it came down to exactly. The risk. Agreeing to this right here with him, it was a big deal. For both of us. We weren't two average people who worked down the street from each other and could see each other once a week and see how things progressed. A relationship between us, even in the early stages, would take a lot of work and sacrifice on both of our parts. Especially if neither of us were willing to do the whole casual thing.
So. Was it worth the risk, going all in? Were the green eyes and lopsided smile something I could walk away from and not look back?
That hopeless romantic heart of mine won out immediately.
"Well, shit," I sighed.
Edward chuckled. "What?"
I let out another dramatic sigh. "Now I'm going to have to figure out how football works."
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this one. I love these two so much already its insane. See you next time!
