Chapter Ten
Rain came pouring down
When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe
And by morning
Gone was every trace of you, I think I am finally clean
~ Taylor Swift, Clean (Taylor's Version)
BPOV
Sleep was an incredible waste of time when you were in bed with Edward Cullen. Incredible waste of time. I got a few cat naps in, an hour of rest here and there, but I was never upset about being woken up. Not when Edward was oh so creative in how he did it.
There was his tried and true method of kissing his way up my thighs. The roaming fingers that ended with panted kisses. I was fairly certain it was my fault this time, though. Or I had woken up with his lips already pressed to mine.
A girl could only pretend to pout for so long.
He let out a rough grumble from the back of his throat. I felt it vibrate against my tongue as I memorized the slope of muscles in his neck.
Firm fingers tensed on my hips, pulling me closer. Rubbing me against his cock where it was nestled comfortably between us.
I was lying on his chest, hands tangled in his hair while I lazily explored him. I had all of the best parts memorized already. Knew all of the funnest ways to get him to make that sexy little grumble in the back of his throat.
There was his neck. A kiss or lick right where his neck met his shoulder was the quickest way. There was the sensitive stretch of skin right beneath his navel that clenched whenever I pressed my lips to it. He would let out a delicious moan if I scratched my nails down his back or chest–bonus points if I went across his nipple.
The alarm on his phone going off right as I mustered up the energy to reach between us and guide him inside of me was not part of the plan. That earned a pout.
Edward kissed it away, fumbling with his phone on the bedside table blindly before the beeping stopped. His hips flexed against mine, cock hitting the perfect spot inside of me. He leaned back against the ruffled bedding, hands pulling my legs up into his preferred position as I sat up.
The cocky, satisfied, smirk he shot up at me had me clench around his cock.
"You're going to be the death of me, princess," he groaned, hands tightening on my hips. Traveling up my waist. Squeezing my breasts as if he hadn't spent hours doing the exact same thing all night.
My voice was long gone, exhaustion weighed down every bone in my body, but all of that was inconsequential as I rolled my hips against him.
Everything else was inconsequential compared to him.
I was a girl who fell hard and fast, and I knew it. And there was a part of me, one I kept buried deep down inside of me whenever Edward was around so she didn't ruin the moment, who knew the man was most likely too good to be true. That I was setting myself up for another disaster of a heartbreak. That my life was too much for anyone else to handle.
But then, moments like last night happened. Where he held me close and told me he was falling in love with me and I thought, just for a moment, that maybe I had found it. That kind of love I had naively dreamed about since I was a girl.
I was excellent at overthinking. Planning twenty steps ahead when I was halfway through step one, working myself into a panic because so many things were out of my control. And usually, right when I got comfortable enough to let my guard down, people got tired and left.
They always left.
I was simultaneously not enough and too much to handle.
A firm squeeze of my hips pulled me out of my spiral. My eyes opened to emerald green ones locked intensely on me. A hint of question forcing its way through the haze of lust as he looked at me.
Shaking my head to clear it, I leaned over him and tossed the thoughts away as I kissed him. As his hands slid up along my sides, hips constantly meeting mine as we moved together.
"Me too," I whispered against his lips. "I'm dangerously close to falling in love with you, too."
Edward's eyes darkened, hands tightened around my waist, and he smirked up at me. A cocky little smirk that only he could pull off without looking like an asshole. "We're going to be so good together, baby," he groaned, one of his hands coming to rest where we were connected. "Already are."
My fingers tensed against his chest and even though I knew he now had the power to shatter me completely, I believed him.
—How You Get The Girl—
EPOV
I had always been a fast decision maker, whether it was what I wanted for breakfast or where I wanted to play college ball. I trusted my gut, and it had yet to lead me wrong yet. Sure, we made a few thousand mistakes along the way, but the big stuff?
My gut was never wrong.
So when I asked Alice who everyone was whispering about at a concert months ago and ended up starting a conversation with Bella Swan's brother, I trusted it when it told me to give him my number for her.
As anyone in my family could attest, I'd had a crush on her for years. It was a harmless infatuation. I knew she was taken, then engaged. Nothing would ever come of it, but a guy could appreciate a woman from afar without overstepping.
Well, some could.
My gut was good, but even I couldn't fucking believe how good it did me this time. Bella was… Bella.
Quite literally the girl of my dreams. But somehow she managed to exceed any possible expectation I could have had for her.
As it was, I weighed the pros and cons of skipping work and crawling back into bed with her.
I kept the bathroom door open as I showered. Had a perfect view of her fast asleep in my bed as I got out and dressed. It was tempting to crawl back in bed, but I pulled on my jeans and t-shirt deciding I had to go in.
I loved my job. Had my dream job. Going to said dream job with my dream girl in my bed was proving to be a challenge, though.
I knelt beside the bed, brushing a few strands of hair off of her face. She grumbled, curling in on herself further.
My lips brushed softly against her cheek. "I've got to go, princess," I whispered.
She pouted.
Fucking loved the pout.
"I'll write you a note," she murmured, half asleep. "Dear Mr. Coach, please excuse Edward–"
I kissed her before she could finish, because fuck me if I wouldn't happily send Coach that note and crawl back into bed with her. "Do you want to meet me at the training facility for lunch?"
Eyes still closed, she smiled. "Sure."
Pressing another kiss to her cheek, I reluctantly stood and headed for the door. I could hear quiet snores coming from her before I opened the bedroom door.
Daisy huffed at me from the hall before prancing in and curling herself up next to Bella.
—How You Get The Girl—
BPOV
The last forty-eight hours were some of the best I had ever strung together. And I wasn't going to let the impending feeling of unease starting to weigh down my limbs get in the way of it.
I had taken all my meds, done all of my breathing exercises, and knew the signs I was getting close to my breaking point. And I hated it. Knew exactly what was triggering it and I fucking hated it.
He was leaning against the front door when Sam pulled up. Seahawks t-shirt stretched tight across his chest and athletic shorts that had me reminiscing on the muscular thighs I knew were underneath them.
Excellent distraction.
Edward pulled my door open before Sam could get to it. I smiled up at him before he pressed a quick kiss to my lips. "Hi."
"Hi," I sighed. "Does it make me clingy if I said I missed you?"
He shook his head, grabbing my hand and helping me out of the car. "No. I missed you, too. Had half a mind to go tell Coach I had a note from–"
"Oh no… I thought I dreamed that," I frowned. That definitely made me clingy.
"Maybe you were talking in your sleep. I told you–Sleep Bella and I are like this," he smiled, holding up a pair of intertwined fingers.
I let out a content sigh, stretching up on my toes to press my lips to his cheeks.
I was already in too deep. Might as well enjoy it while I could.
"Am I allowed inside?" I asked, eying the impressive building. Virginia Mason Athletic Center. It was right on the water, a cool breeze coming up from it.
Edward grabbed my hand with a chuckle. "Why wouldn't you be allowed inside?"
"I don't know. Are there not top secret game plays and agendas and… things inside?"
He pressed his lips to my temple as we walked in the door. "Just let me know if you're planning on breaking into Coach's office."
I nodded. "Will do."
"Can I get you anything Mr. Cullen? Ms-um-Ms. Swan?" A blonde haired and blue eyed receptionist eyed us from across the entry. She wore a Seahawks athletic jacket and had her hair tied up in a slick ponytail.
"We're good, Amelia. Thank you," Edward nodded.
As soon as he turned to lead me down a hall, Amelia sent me a giant grin and a sly wave. I returned them both quickly before following Edward.
"If it bothers you I can ask everybody to–"
I shrugged. "It doesn't bother me."
"You sure?"
"People that break into my home or stalk my every movement bother me. People that wave or smile or ask for an autograph if we bump into each other don't. They're my favorite people in the world."
Edward was quiet for a moment, hand tight in mine as we wandered down a few different halls. "How often do people break into your home or stalk you?"
I shrugged. "Pretty often. That's why I was shocked as hell when you got to my front door."
"Shit. I'm sorry. I should have called."
"It's okay. I consider you answering the door in a towel when I showed up my retribution."
He chuckled. Squeezed my hand.
And I tried to understand half of the accolades that covered the walls we walked through.
"Do you have a Super Bowl ring?" I mused out loud.
Edward froze, eyed me with a roll of his lips to suppress his laughter.
"Oh. Forget I asked. I…"
I liked a photo of him winning the Super Bowl that fateful night I got caught stalking his instagram. Of course he had one.
"Two."
It was my turn to freeze. "You have two?"
He nodded, a smug smile on his face. "First one was my rookie year."
"So you really are a hotshot, huh?" I muttered to myself.
"Okay, Ms. Four Grammys."
I snorted.
Edward walked me around the building, pointing out every little detail that would have gone right above my head. He let me stop and stare at every picture and accolade and answered my questions with a patient smile on his face.
"Do you have a fancy locker?" I asked, eyes wandering the large indoor field he had just walked me through.
"I do."
"Can I see it? Or is it like, a no-girls-allowed kind of situation?"
He chuckled, grabbed my hand and led me down a few more halls before he got to one with Locker Room printed on the sign.
Then everything went black.
"What?"
Edward had his hand securely over my eyes as he led me blindly into the room. He shouted out and waited for anyone lingering in the room to answer before he dropped his hand.
"Trust me. A lot of shit goes down in a locker room that is not appropriate for your eyes."
I shook my head, eyes scanning the place. It was surprisingly cool, even for someone with the most basic sports knowledge as me.
The floor was covered in a carpeted Seahawks logo. The lockers were not the kind of lockers I had imagined, instead luxurious little cubbies surrounding the room. Each players name was written along the top, all of them with helmets and bags and various personal items inside.
We stopped in front of his.
Edward Cullen 13 - was written on the top. I absentmindedly rubbed my fingers over the long gone eyeliner 13 I'd had on my wrist. Before I could really take in the shirts and helmet and shoes and everything he had tucked away in his locker, I spotted the picture stuck right inside.
"That's us," I blurted out. Leaning closer, as if the girl in the picture would change before my eyes.
It was us. From that night he took me up to the Space Needle for dinner. We ventured out to the skydeck after and took a few wonderfully cheesy pictures together with the city in the background.
It was the smallest, tiniest little gesture. Something a normal girl might have expected to see.
But I wasn't a normal girl.
People were either boasting about being near me for clout, or angry that people were paying attention to me instead of them. I hadn't really found many people that fit in between those two categories.
"You put a picture of us in your locker?"
His frown wasn't an angry one. More like a concerned one. "This morning. After I knew everyone already knew about us. Is that okay?"
I stared at the picture a while longer. Then went to the few others he had, all of his family or the few close friends I had met last night.
And me.
A gentle hand landed on the small of my back. "Are you okay?"
"I–" I swallowed back the lump in my throat. Gave myself five seconds to get myself together before I turned around to face him. "You're going to think I'm a terrible person."
"I highly doubt that." Edward eased me down onto the padded seat of his locker. Both hands cupped my face and tilted it up toward him. "What is it?"
"I already feel like it would hurt more. If you were the one to–if you left me like him."
I'd always had trouble saying the words. Left at the altar just sounded so dramatic. And pathetic.
It did make me feel like a horrible person. Because I loved Jacob. Thought I did. Loved the boy he used to be, at least. But, looking back, I could see all of the signs of our relationship deteriorating. Could see that months, maybe even a year or two, before that fateful morning, we were already starting to drift apart.
Yeah, it hurt when he left. Still hurt sometimes. But I survived. Went to work every day and put a smile on my face for all the cameras.
I'd only known Edward a few months and I was already hopelessly attached. Somehow more comfortable and relaxed with him than I was with anybody else.
He was so different from everyone else. So unfazed by the hassle of not being able to go anywhere without a full security detail or the way random strangers stopped me to talk as if we were childhood friends. He was always there with a smile and a hand on my waist.
"Hey," he whispered, fingers flexing against my cheek. "Anyone who would leave their significant other the morning of their wedding is a goddamn prick. No matter the circumstances. And I can promise you, no matter what happens between us, I have enough respect for you to never put you through that. Okay?"
That was it.
The thing that made Edward so, so different from everyone else.
I believed him.
Every single word out of his mouth, I believed. When I was practically trained to never trust a single soul. I'd been lied to and backstabbed and manipulated in enough work and personal situations to feel like I knew better than to blindly trust someone.
Then Edward came along with his emerald eyes and floppy hair and that hopeless romantic part of me took over.
"In case you haven't noticed, I have some abandonment issues."
He gave me a patient smile. "Then I guess I can stop toning down my affection."
—How You Get The Girl—
I sat in a lawn chair, a pair of Edward's sunglasses covering half of my face as I watched the team practice. Coaches shouted things that sounded like complete gibberish to me, players bickered and Edward somehow always pulled everyone's attention back to where it needed to be.
It was the bit of a breather I needed.
Because ever since Jacob left me, I had a new habit of bolting. From anything that could possibly be good. Not that I had run from many guys that weren't attention seekers, but I had become laughably terrified of commitment for a girl so desperate for it.
I very nearly left town the night of my first show opening for The Eras Tour. Angela caught me packing up my suitcase.
It was easier staying alone. Keeping yourself from getting attached to things or people or lifestyles that would just get ripped away from you.
It was a horribly cynical way to look at the world, according to my therapist.
And I was trying to change.
But watching Edward and that carefree way he plays and the passion behind his every throw, I was hit again with the feeling that him leaving would break me completely.
I gave him a smile every time he looked over at me, but I knew he didn't buy it. And as I got into his fancy little sports car at the end of practice, I had a sudden rush of panic that I had already ruined everything.
Then he grabbed my hand. Kissed my knuckles. And turned the radio up to drown out all of the noise.
—How You Get The Girl—
"You have your work phone on you?"
I frowned. Not the first question I thought he'd ask when we walked through his front door. "In my luggage."
He nodded toward the bedroom. "Go get it. Meet me in the basement."
I did as I was told. Confused as hell, but I did it.
The basement was, I'd assume, any sports fans dream. It was sleek and crisp and covered in memorabilia. And white boards and televisions and then some more memorabilia.
"Wow," I muttered. All of it was completely lost on me, but I knew it was impressive.
"Phone?" Edward asked, standing by a white board with a quickly drawn out three month calendar.
"What are we doing?"
"Game plan."
I sighed. "You know, most people would probably understand what that means. And, I mean, I kind of do, but–"
Edward sat me at a table before the white board. Leaned across the table and stared intently at me, his gaze unflinching. "I get it. Why you're scared. You have every right to be. We had… well, in my opinion, one of the best nights of my life last night."
My ears perked up. "Best night ever?"
"First of many, I hope," he said with a wink. "But a damn good night and now you're scared. So… we'll plan. I love a good plan. Thrive on them, really."
I was pretty sure it was a football joke, but I had no idea.
"We're going to sit here, map out your schedule and mine, and make sure between the two of us we have time to work on building our relationship. Because I meant it; I'd be a goddamn fool to let you slip through my fingers. I'm willing to put in the work, Bella. Are you?"
I understood immediately how he got to be where he was. Star quarterback, respected by his team and fans… he put in the work. Happily. He wasn't the best at what he did by accident.
And I had a hell of a lot of respect for that.
I was, obviously, already in too deep to answer anything other than yes.
A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this one. Given all the issues ffn has these days, always remember that I've got all of my work up on ao3 as well (lovesafragilelittleflame there). I've got a list of links of where you can find all of my work on ao3 over on my twitter (fragilefanfic) and will always keep you updated on when/where the updates are :)
Also, everyone say thank you and hello to my amazing new beta, Wendy aka CullenCherries!
