Note: Trigger warning for my Paula haters. She's only in one more chapter after this, I promise.
Donna stepped out of Harvey's bedroom dressed in one of his old Harvard t-shirts and a pair of his sweatpants. His clothes acted like a blanket, warming her up with his familiar scent. Earlier in the day she had spent several hours in his apartment, but it didn't matter. She still felt uncomfortable there. This was his space, with Lizzie. She was just an outsider.
Harvey, who was standing by the fireplace, had a clear sight line as she walked out. He eyed her up with an amused frown. "I give you full access to my clothes and that's what you come out in?"
Donna pulled at the bottom of the gray shirt so that it was flat against her waist. "This was my favorite shirt. I should have taken it in the divorce." Her jovial tone was a big contrast from the night's events. It was easier to joke now that she knew where her children were.
His gaze drifted away, perhaps lost in a memory, before returning to her. "Keep it."
"You're awfully agreeable tonight." Donna arched her brows in surprise. "First the yellow tomatoes on the pizza and now this?"
Harvey shrugged. "I guess having your children go missing will do that to you." His words were light, but his tone wasn't. All four of them had been through something traumatic. There had been no time to process it.
Donna was eager to change the direction of the conversation. They had a long night ahead. She didn't want to start it off on the wrong foot. "I can't believe they both got my taste in pizza."
It seemed that he was just as eager. "Well, they've got expensive tastes…like their mother," he teased.
"Hey, I'm not the one standing here in a $6,000.00 suit." He was dressed in the same suit from earlier, only now, it was soaked from the rain. "You can afford their expensive tastes. You're managing partner now. You finally got everything you wanted."
"Not everything," came his quiet tone.
Her surprised gaze met his and they fell into a heavy silence as they spoke without words. Responding to him would send them into dangerous territory, so she was relieved when the doorbell rang. "That'll be the pizza." She let out a nervous laugh. "I'll get it."
Harvey cleared his throat. "I'll go get changed."
Walking in bare feet instead of heels allowed her to flee the tense room faster. Once at the door, she stopped to get her nerves under control. His apartment, his clothes, his presence, all of it was overwhelming. Not to mention the fact that their family was under the same roof for the first time in years. She was on edge.
Putting on her best confident smile, she opened the door, only for her smile to crack at the sight of a petite blonde standing in the hallway. Donna watched as the woman's eyes went right to Harvey's t-shirt. There was no doubt in her mind who the woman was.
"You must be Paula.
Paula's eyes roamed over the rest of Donna, stopping at her bare feet. "And you're, Donna."
It wasn't an enthusiastic greeting, but Donna couldn't really blame her for that. She knew that it looked bad. She was about to go get Harvey when Lizzie appeared beside her.
"Oh. Hi, Paula." The girl didn't hide her disappointment.
Seconds later, Anna appeared on the other side of her mother. "You're not pizza."
Paula jumped slightly at the sight of both girls together. Her head rapidly snapped from one to the other. "There really are two of you."
"Surprise," Lizzie deadpanned.
The situation did nothing to help Donna's nerves. With an awkward smile, she wrapped her arms around both of their shoulders and ushered them away. "I'll just…go get Harvey…" she muttered. She couldn't flee the scene fast enough.
Harvey stepped out into the hallway and closed the door gently behind him. He thought about inviting his girlfriend inside, but her pursed lips told him that it was a bad idea.
"Paula, I'm so sorry about dinner." He moved closer to her, but she backed up, staying just out of his reach. "I'll make a new reservation first thing in the morning. I'll even schedule it myself. Does Friday work?"
Paula crossed her arms and studied his appearance. "Harvey, I haven't heard from you in hours. I was worried."
Harvey looked down at the ground before meeting her eyes again. The familiar guilty feeling from years before crept back into his psyche. He was never good at juggling all aspects of his life at once. "I'm sorry, things got crazy once we found the girls. We just got home, but we were all soaked from the rain so we had to change."
Clearly tired of his excuses, Paula shook her head and bit out a response. "Is that why Donna's wearing your clothes?"
Like Donna, Harvey knew how bad things looked. He tried to put himself in her shoes, but it was hard to do. The image of Lizzie and Anna, wet and shivering in the rain, ran on a constant loop in his mind. He didn't have the patience to deal with Paula's insinuations. "Her dress was soaked and it's dry clean only."
"Why didn't she just go home?"
Harvey held out his hands, palms up in surrender. "Things are a mess right now with the girls. We're gonna talk over everything tonight." He reached for her hands. He wasn't a bad boyfriend. A part of him felt desperate to prove that to her, but at the same time, another part of him longed to go back into the apartment and forget that she ever came over.
Paula didn't take his hands in hers. "Last night, I thought that we agreed that telling the girls about each other was a bad idea?"
Harvey bristled. He let his hands drop to his sides. "I didn't tell them. It turns out that Donna and I picked the same school for them. They found out at school, on their own."
"And they just so happened to decide to run away on our anniversary?"
"They didn't run away," he insisted. The girls had cried and apologized the whole way home, but there had been no time to get the full story. He refused to let his mind think that they ran away.
Paula shook her head. "Don't you see what a giant cry for attention this is? We already talked about this, how Lizzie is acting out, and now the other one is too."
"Anna," Harvey ground out. "The 'other one's' name is Anna."
She ignored his correction. "I just saw them and they didn't seem all that traumatized by what happened. In fact, they seemed perfectly fine to me. By giving into this spectacle, you are giving them the attention that they crave."
Harvey clenched his jaw. "This wasn't an attention thing. You didn't see them…you weren't there." He would defend his children like he would defend any client. Calm. Calculated. Collected. "They've been through a lot."
"And what about Donna?" Paula demanded.
"What about her?"
"How long is she staying?"
Harvey pinched the bridge of his nose. His voice grew louder as he spoke. "I don't know, Paula. We haven't talked about that yet, we were too busy keeping our daughters from getting hypothermia."
Paula refused to back down. "Harvey, I don't know that I'm okay with her suddenly being back in your life all the time, especially if things like this are going to keep happening. "
"What am I supposed to do, Paula?" He nearly shouted. "She's the mother of my children. I can't just ignore her."
Her tone quickly matched his. "You had no problem ignoring her for the past few years."
Harvey's hands balled into fists as anger surged through him. "You know, I really thought you'd be more understanding about all of this. You're a therapist!"
"Well, if you weren't constantly keeping things from me, maybe I could be more understanding," she snapped. "I need some time to think about all of this. I'll call you tomorrow."
She walked away before he could say anything, which turned out to be a good thing, because he wasn't sure what awful things would have come out of his mouth.
Harvey felt like ramming his hand through the wall. He couldn't get a hold of his anger and he tried not to be a jerk to the pizza man who arrived only a few minutes later. He was a good man. He wasn't a cheater. His daughter's weren't attention seekers. Donna wasn't a problem. Paula was wrong about everything. She had to be. He wasn't ready to face any other option.
The pizza box landed on the counter top with a thud when Harvey stormed back into the apartment. From their perch at the breakfast bar, Donna, Lizzie and Anna, stared at him in silence.
Harvey pointed first to Lizzie and then to Anna. "You're gonna tell us what the hell you were thinking and you're gonna tell us now," came his thundering voice. He needed answers. The kitchen island was mass between them, so he leaned over to get his point across. "Do you know how worried we were? Do you know how many people were looking for you?"
The girls were dressed in a similar pair of flannel pajamas. One had her long wet hair braided and the other had her wet hair hanging straight. He looked between them both, but knew instantly who was who. Anna withered under his harsh gaze while Lizzie sat up straight. It wasn't the first time she had come up against his temper.
"Tell me the truth," he snapped at Lizzie. "We don't lie to each other. That's how this works, and you've done nothing but lie to me lately."
Donna moved to stand beside him. "Harvey, yelling isn't helping," came her soft, but firm tone.
Harvey didn't get to say anything back. In a split second, Lizzie was off the stool and yelling right back at him.
"You lied to me my whole life! You're a hypocrite!" Her face reddened as she focused her narrowed eyes on Donna, too. "So did you! I heard you talking to Rachel! I heard how you said that Anna's always been better than me. You were happy that you got her and not me!"
Harvey looked to Donna with a confused frown, only to find that she was staring at Lizzie with her mouth hanging open. "What are you talking about, Liz?" he asked. His anger was slowly deflating.
Lizzie ignored his question. Her chest heaved as she took big gulps of air, but she wasn't done. "And, Anna heard you telling Paula that you loved me more than her. You picked me and not her on purpose!"
Harvey felt Donna's eyes fall on him, but he was too ashamed to look at her. He didn't say that he loved Lizzie more, but he may as well have. Knowing that Anna had overheard it made his knees feel weak.
"Honey, no…I'm sure that's not what your dad meant. And I never said that Anna's better. I would never say something like that."
"You did say it!" snapped Lizzie. She pointed a finger at her mother. "And this is all your fault. We were a family and you ruined it."
Harvey's response was harsh, but not loud. "That's enough." It was enough to silence his angry daughter. "What happened between your mom and me is just as much my fault as it is hers. The conversations you overheard were private and we can talk about them after the both of you tell us why you walked out of school today."
Harvey was relieved when Donna spoke up. She seemed stronger than earlier. Back to her confident self. It was one less thing for him to worry about.
"Being mad at us is no reason to disappear for hours." Her eyes glanced between both girls before settling on Anna. "What were you thinking?"
Anna had no trouble answering her mother. "We didn't mean to."
"You didn't mean to walk out of school?"
Anna shook her head. "No, we didn't mean to be gone that long." The girl glanced at her sister before continuing, "we just wanted to get away for a while. A girl at school told us about this cool candy store, but it's too far to walk. We took the subway there."
Anger rushed back into Harvey's chest. "You took the subway, alone?"
"We weren't alone, dad, we had each other," insisted Lizzie
"You know that's not what I meant."
While Harvey and Lizzie argued, Donna narrowed her eyes at Anna. "So you spent 8 hours in a candy store?" came her incredulous question.
Anna frowned. "No, we never got to go, because the subway was so confusing and we took it all the way to the Bronx by mist —" She was cut off when Lizzie kicked her in the shin. "Ouch! Why are you kicking me?"
"I wasn't gonna tell them that part," mumbled Lizzie.
Harvey's fingers clenched around the edge of the counter. "You've got to be kidding me." He took calming breaths to keep himself from lashing out again. He couldn't believe how irresponsible they had acted, especially Lizzie, who knew the city.
Donna shut her eyes, possibly to keep her own emotions in check. "Please tell me you weren't walking around the Bronx."
"Well, not for long."
"Jesus christ," Harvey snapped. He looked to Donna in desperation. "Donna, tell me what to do here, because right now I want to chain them to their bed for life."
Lizzie groaned. "We got back on the subway, but it didn't take us the whole way back. We tried to walk, but it was too far and we didn't have our phones to call."
"Oh, I know that!" snapped Harvey. "I can't believe this. I think I would have preferred if you ran away. At least that would have shown some ability to plan ahead."
"Run away?" Frowned Lizzie. "Why would we run away?"
Harvey couldn't take it anymore. The stress of the day had finally broken him. The panic attack. The police. Donna being upset. Paula being angry. It was all too much. In one big motion he swept the stray papers that were resting on the counter onto the floor.
"You know what? You girls are grounded." He didn't care if he technically had no authority over Anna. He didn't care if Donna yelled at him about it. "Between home and school, you'll be lucky if you even see the outside for the next few months. Now eat your goddamn pizza!" He stalked off before anyone could argue.
Donna waited a long time before going after Harvey. He needed time to cool down and she needed time with the girls anyway. It was easier to talk to them when tensions weren't running so high.
She found Harvey in his small office. Though the apartment was large, its open floor plan didn't leave many hiding places. From behind his desk, he looked up at her and for a second, she felt like she was back at the DA's office, as his secretary.
"Go ahead, Donna, tell me how bad I fucked this up."
Donna ungracefully sat down in the leather club chair that sat in the corner of the room. It was pushing 9:00. She was too exhausted to argue. "I wasn't gonna say that."
Harvey rolled his eyes. "Well, you're clearly here to say something, so let's hear it."
"You didn't do anything wrong, Harvey." He had been there for her earlier, and she would be there for him now. "They apologized…and I agree with your grounding." She let out an exasperated sigh. "I just can't believe it. Any of it. Switching places. Lying. Skipping school. Anna's never done anything like that."
Harvey leaned back in his chair and let his eyes fall shut. "Neither has Lizzie."
Donna massaged her temples. A tension headache had been slowly building for the past few hours. "Remember that joke you made at Del Pesto about the girls needing therapy? Well, I think we should seriously consider it." Harvey looked at her in surprise and she added, "with someone other than your girlfriend."
A chuckle erupted deep from his throat. "I'm not even sure if she's still my girlfriend."
Donna's cheeks went pink and she avoided his eyes. "I know…"
Harvey leaned forward. "You heard our fight?"
"I think the whole building did. But, I'm sorry if I made things awkward for you. I don't want to cause any issues." Despite whatever feelings were swimming around her heart for her ex-husband, she wanted him to be happy. The divorce had been for nothing if they weren't happy.
"Don't be. It's not your fault."
Donna let her eyes roam over his posture. He had been wound tight all day. It was nice to see him relax, even if just for a few minutes. "You've been saying that a lot, today."
"Trust me, I'll let you know when something actually is your fault."
The big digital clock on his desk reminded her how late it was getting. "I guess we better check on them…you never know, they could have climbed out the window this time."
Harvey stood up when she did. "We're 30 stories up."
Donna shrugged, enjoying the pre-teen free moment. "Maybe they stuck the landing."
She walked out of the room first and he followed right behind her. "You've got a real sick sense of humor, you know that Paulsen?"
"Somebody has to keep things lively around here." He was following closely behind her, so she gently elbowed him in the ribs.
"I forgot just how lively you can be."
Their blatant flirting made her heart race with a particular feeling that she hadn't felt in years. They made it to the living room and when she looked down at the floor, she stopped so abruptly that Harvey ran right into her back.
His hands went around her waist to keep them upright and stayed there as he followed her gaze to the twins who were asleep on the floor. They were holding hands, as if to ensure that they weren't forced apart in their sleep.
"We're definitely finding a therapist," Harvey insisted.
The feeling of his arms around her made her feel so comfortable that she never wanted to leave, but there were lines that couldn't be crossed, so she stepped away from him and towards the twins.
"Can Anna stay with you tonight? She sleeps like the dead. I'll never be able to get her across town."
"Why don't you both stay?"
Her eyes were back on him in an instant. "Harvey," came her warning tone.
"It's still raining. It's late. You can take my bed. I'll crash here on the couch."
Donna shook her head. Instinct was telling her that staying at his apartment was an awful idea, but her exhausted body was telling her otherwise. Still, she drew a line at sleeping in bed. "I'll take the couch, and it's non-negotiable."
Harvey's lips curled into a smile. "Deal. I'll get you a pillow and a blanket."
By the time he came back, she was standing over the girls, watching them in amazement. "This is the first time we've all been under the same roof since they were little." The thought slipped out before she could stop it. Her eyes watered as she took in the bitter sweet moment.
Harvey tossed the pillow and blanket onto the couch. "Don't cry again," he pleaded. "You know I'm emotionally stunted. There's only so much crying I can handle."
Despite his remark, she wiped at her eyes. It was too late for that, but his comment at least made her laugh. "You're an idiot."
"In all seriousness…" he started, as he came to stand beside her. "I don't think splitting them up again is an option."
Donna sighed. She had already come to that conclusion and she had no idea what it meant for their broken family. "Let's get through Thanksgiving and then we can figure that out."
"Speaking of Thanksgiving…"
Donna held up her hand. "Don't worry, Louis already invited me, Anna, and Rachel to his Thanksgiving Palooza."
Harvey cringed at the title. "Did he send you the animated evite, too?"
"With the dancing turkey's? Oh yeah. It was surprisingly tasteful, for Louis." Donna bit the inside of her cheek. "Is Paula going? I don't want to make her hate me more than she already does."
"She is, at least, she was." Harvey's lips fell into a frown. "She'll have to get used to it, though. You and the girls…it's a package deal. She's either gonna accept it, or she's not."
Donna didn't know what to say to that, so she said nothing at all. There were still a few days until Thanksgiving. She would cross that bridge when they got there.
