Chapter 10 - I Might Say That I Don't Need You, But Don't Let Me Lie
Amber's POV
You would think dealing with a category 4 hurricane would be enough to occupy myself with, but you would be wrong.
Any free second that I have when I'm not working is taken up with my thoughts about Rosalie.
I still don't know what I had done to make her hate me so much. I thought we were having a great time. Did I offend her? Did I come on too strong? She couldn't possibly know that I'm attracted to her could she? It doesn't matter, because whatever I thought we had or might have had is over. I knew letting my guard down was a terrible idea. I should have just stuck to my original plan. Keeping her at a distance
Damn it, there I go again on a never ending downward spiral of thoughts. I can't stop the tirade of thoughts no matter how much I try.
It doesn't matter anyway, because after that night I was forced to come to terms with the fact that Rosalie and I will always be on opposite ends.
I may never get the answers that I have been looking for, but I know that with time I will be able to deal with my feelings.
I just needed some distance...well more distance than the roughly 4,346 miles away I am currently.
Thankfully the damage caused from the Hurricane wasn't as bad as they predicted. My team and I have spent the last few weeks going through the disaster areas looking for survivors or pulling animals out from the rubble or helping with some of the rebuilding.
It has been an exhausting but rewarding experience.
Mike's POV
It's about quarter after midnight and I would rather be in bed, but I'm at the schoolhouse. You know that someone is your best friend when you're willing to bring over some food in the middle of the night.
I set the food down in the lounge area and go to find Amber.
I find her sleeping in one of the sleeping bunks. She looks exhausted and I know that it's not just because of the hurricane.
I throw one of the other bunks pillows at her to wake her up. After a brief scuffle where we almost break one of the bunks and an end table we make out way to the lounge.
It feels great to finally be back together again. Ever since we started team together we have been inseparable. She's more than just my best friend or sister. She's my left hand and I know that she feels the same exact way.
That's why I know when something is bothering her, even when she won't come right out and talk about it.
When there's a lull in conversation I grab the whiskey bottle that I brought for just this occasion and decided to bring up my concerns.
We don't beat around the bush, because we never do.
Amber's POV
I finally let loose everything that I had been bottling up for who knows how long. After I spill my heart out and we drank most of the bottle of whiskey I find myself asking "It's not just me, right? I mean I know that she's playing hot and cold, but I know that she does have feelings for me."
Mike leans back in his chair and sighs while saying "I don't know Amb, I mean she does seem to like you, so I don't think that you're wrong in your thinking. But you and I both know that you can't keep tearing yourself up about how she may or may not be feeling for you."
I put my head into my hands as I take a deep breath and brokenly say "I know," I lift my head and look my brother in the eyes and I know that he can see my eyes start to water. "I can't explain it; I just feel this pull towards her. It's almost like my soul knows that she's suppose to be mine. That we are meant to be together, even if that means that we will never be anything more than just friends. And it tears me apart every time she pushes me away or gives me a dirty look. ….You know saying it out loud makes it sound even crazier than how I feel about thinking it."
Mike puts his hand on my shoulder and gives me a weak smile and says "I don't think anything I can tell you at this point is going to help you. I know that and you know that and I also know that there isn't anything that either one of us can do that will make you feel better. I will tell you this though, no matter what I will always have your six. I also agree that Rosalie has some feelings for you, but I just don't know what type of feelings that they are. I'm afraid that the only piece of advice that I can give you is that this will take time."
I give a broken smile as I ask "You think she has feelings for me?"
"I've seen the way she looks at you. That girl feels something for you, but maybe she's just confused or scared to actually act on it. I don't know, but what I do know is that she better start treating my sister better, or we'll have to have a talk." Mike replies
After we hug it out I feel a hell of a lot better.
I smile as I say "Leave it to you to know how to cheer me up."
"It's nothing that you haven't done for me a million times." Mike says.
"That's what family is for." I reply as we hug again.
I look at my watch and I calculate that I still have about an hour before I have to be outside waiting for my ride to the plane.
"So how did you manage to get a deployment to Thule anyway?" Mike asks.
"Well I figured that the cheapest way to fund my 'Find Santa Exploration' was to be sent to the North Pole." I jokingly say.
After our laughter died down I add "I also figured that some distance and time will help me to deal with my feelings." I quietly admit.
Mike gives me a look of understanding.
"Now you need to head home and get some sleep." I tell Mike.
"You're definitely right on that one." Mike chuckles.
"When does your ride get here?" Mike asks as he throws away all the trash.
"In about an hour." I reply as I look at my watch.
"Alright, you take care of yourself." Mike says as we give each other a long tight hug.
As we break away I smile and tell him "When I find Santa, I'll make sure that both of our names will be written on the Nice List, in sharpie."
"Knowing you, you would try and steal one of the reindeer" Mike jokes.
"And that's why I'm on the Naughty List." I reply as we both laugh.
"I'll see you in a few months. I love you bro." I tell Mike as he makes his way to the door.
As Mike walks through the door frame he turns around and gives me a smile and says "I love you too sis I'll see you when you get back. Let me know if you need anything. An extra tooth brush or if you run out of toilet paper."
"So I have to stay on the toilet for 4 weeks waiting for your care package to get to me? Oh joy." I laugh and give an eye roll.
"We both know I would wait a week then send it, so it would be more like 5 weeks." He jokes.
I flip him off as he blows me a kiss and walks out of the room.
I shake my head, but the smile doesn't leave my face. That is until about 3 minutes later when I walk into the cage and find the last person I thought I would see.
