9 September 1931

It was a Wednesday like any other and the day when Lily would usually wash and change all the bedsheets. The weather was nice and there was a light breeze so, in theory, they would have been cleaned and dried quickly. Another job ticked nicely off of her weekly list.

In theory.

In reality, she had been woken during the night with the familiar, crippling pain of her monthly, arriving yet again at a time she wasn't expecting. As she had cleaned herself up, she had thought once again about the lot of women and how, every month, she found herself in the same situation with no medical professional of the mind to assist in any way. Not that she knew what she was really expecting Dr Bellamy to do about it.

Dragging herself out of bed, she had made her father his breakfast as normal, though he had opined on her condition when she remained in her housecoat throughout. Telling him that it was simply 'the usual' had thus rendered him into uncomfortable silence and when he had eventually gone outside to see to the beasts, she had shook her head as she always did, wondering how he had survived with a wife and daughter for so long and yet still couldn't seem to wrap his head around the monthly workings of the female body.

She managed to do some light dusting instead of her usual chores, but the pain was commanding, and she regularly found herself resting, lying on the sofa, closing her eyes and wishing that it would pass. She knew there were some women for whom the monthly occurrence was nothing and many for whom it was and yet still managed to throw themselves into the day's tasks including, no doubt, many women on farms expected to take much more of an active role than she was. For her weakness, she felt stupid and helpless and perhaps fortunate that she didn't have her own husband and children to care for in the midst of such agony.

By mid-morning, she had started to feel marginally better and, though she knew it would be short lived before the next wave of pain, took the opportunity to tidy up the kitchen and start making preparations for lunch. She was halfway through putting together the necessary components for a shepherd's pie, when there was a sudden loud knock at the door that made her jump. Pulling her housecoat tighter around herself, she glanced out of the side window before opening the door to a visitor that she had not been expecting.

"Tristan?"

"Lily!" he greeted her with a wide smile, slipping slightly as he took in her attire. "Oh, you're not well."

"No, I'm…I'm fine," she replied, glancing around the yard for any sign of a car…or anyone else. "Did you walk up 'ere by yourself?"

"Yes, I thought it was a lovely day for it, though it is a fair old trek. I admire you for undertaking it as often as you do."

"Well, I'm used to it by now." She stepped back. "Do you want to come in?"

"Oh, only if you're up to visitors and it isn't too much trouble."

"It's not any trouble." He followed her into the kitchen, and she moved over to the stove to finish what she was doing and put a light under the pot to make some tea. "What brings you up this way then?"

"You, actually. Well…you and my brother."

She turned back to face him. "Siegfried's all right, isn't 'e?"

He narrowed his eyes, "Would you be concerned if he wasn't?"

A strange sense of panic washed over her, and she felt her heart start to thud loudly in her chest, "Tristan…"

"No, he's quite all right," he replied, waving his hand dismissively. "Well, insofar as one can be when one is about to enter a new decade of living. It's his birthday on Saturday. Turning the big 4-0 as it were."

"Oh," she said, feeling relieved. "Oh, I see."

"Yes, I can't quite believe it. Such an age!"

"To one as young as you, I suppose it seems that way."

"I'm not that young," he protested. "I'm only ten years or so younger than you, surely?"

"Indeed…" she smiled and turned back to the stove, busying herself making the tea and lifting a tin of freshly made biscuits down from the shelf to offer to him. Once he was happily in the throws of being fed and watered, she sat down gingerly opposite him.

"Are you sure you're all right?" he asked curiously.

"Believe me, I'm fine. So, what does your brother's birthday 'ave to do with me?"

"Well, he's not one for big celebrations, and who can blame him at that age, but Mrs Hall is making a special dinner for him on Saturday evening and I wanted to invite you to join us."

"Oh…" she said, slightly taken aback by the request. "And 'e wouldn't mind me being there, your brother?"

"Of course he doesn't mind! He'd be delighted for you to be there!" Tristan exclaimed. "The four of us shall make such happy company. These biscuits are delicious," he helped himself to another one. "Which is another reason I'm here. Your baking skills are fairly legendary…"

"Well I don't know about that…"

"So, I was hoping you might agree to make a birthday cake for Siegfried. Something with chocolate and lots of icing. That's his favourite."

"Won't Audrey want to make it for 'im?"

"Well, she would have done, but she's very happy at the suggestion that you do it. One less thing for her to think about in the preparation and planning." He grinned at her. "So, what do you say? Will you do it?"

"Yes, of course I will."

"Excellent! And you'll come to dinner?"

"If you're sure Siegfried doesn't mind."

"Lily…" he regarded her with comical reproachfulness. "What a ridiculous notion. As if my brother would ever mind seeing you anywhere! He would have come and asked you himself, but his list is so busy today."

She felt her face flush and got up quickly to hide it, lest he make mockery of her. "It's very kind of you invite me, thank you."

"Splendid," he got to his feet. "Shall we say seven o'clock then? And thank you for the tea and biscuits, yet another reason to see why my brother likes you as he does. Well, goodbye and I hope you feel better soon."

Before she could say anything more, he had thrown open the kitchen door and loped out into the yard out of sight. Alone once more, she found her mind wandering back to Hulton Hall and how handsome Siegfried had looked that evening. Then, of course, she found herself thinking back to the river and to Mrs Calvert's cow shed and then back to dinner in Helmsdale and when he had kissed her and…she shook her head took a deep breath. He was a nice man. He was a friend, someone she was pleased to know, that was all. There was little point in thinking any more on it.

The door to the kitchen opened again, and her father appeared, dirty from the fields. "Who were that then?" he asked. "Saw someone 'eading back down the 'ill a minute ago."

"It was Tristan Farnon, Siegfried's brother," she replied.

"What did 'e want?"

"'e wanted to invite me to a birthday dinner on Saturday night."

"Birthday dinner for who?"

"Siegfried."

"Oh aye?"

Lifting the dish of shepherd's pie, she opened the oven door and slid it inside, deliberately avoiding his gaze. "Should be ready in about an 'our."

"You going then?"

"Where?"

"To the birthday dinner."

She turned back around to face him. "Yes Dad, yes I am."

12 September

"You don't look a day over twenty-five!"

"Oh, please, Mrs Hall…" Siegfried blushed as he came into the kitchen in time for breakfast and his housekeeper leaned in to give him a swift hug and a peck on the cheek.

"Yes, please Mrs Hall, don't give him delusions," Tristan added from his position at the table. "I think he happens to look several years over twenty-five."

"You be quiet," she shushed him good-naturedly. "It's your brother's day today, and a special one at that too. 'ere, sit down. Breakfast is ready."

Obediently, Siegfried took his place at the table and eyed his brother suspiciously. "What are you looking at me like that for?"

"Just admiring a relic. In all seriousness…how does it feel to be...forty?"

"It actually feels no different to last night when I was still thirty-nine," he replied. "If you were expecting me to say that there was a great clap of thunder, or that I saw the rest of my life stretched out before me in some sort of vision, I'm afraid you're sadly mistaken. When you get to my age…"

"Spoken like a true relic…"

"When you get to my age, well, birthdays don't seem as such big occasions as they are at your age."

"It's still a special birthday," Mrs Hall chipped in, sliding his plate down in front of him, "whether you like to think it or not."

"Yes…yes, I suppose it is," he mused, lifting his cutlery. It hardly seemed possible for him to be forty, in one sense. Sometimes it appeared no time had passed at all since his coming of age at twenty-one, a few short months before he had married Evelyn. Back then, he had envisioned spending every birthday to come with her and their children, however many they might have been fortunate enough to be blessed with. Forty had seemed so far away at that time. Little had he known that he would be alone.

"I got you a present," Tristan broke into his thoughts. Reaching under the table, he pulled out a brown paper package and handed it across. "I hope you like it. I'm not sure that you will, because I know you like the one you have but…well…I thought you could keep this one in reserve, as it were, for a time when you might, well, want to use it."

Perplexed, Siegfried untied the string wrapped around it and tore it open to reveal a brown leather veterinary bag, the initials SF stamped on the side in gold lettering. For a moment, he was completely lost for words and, looking over at his brother, saw his hopeful smile slip slightly. "Tristan…"

"I bought it myself," he said quickly. "I didn't use any of your money, don't worry. I saved up for it. I…I hope you like it."

"Tristan, it's…it's wonderful," Siegfried replied, a lump forming in his throat. Perhaps there was so much more to his brother than he had ever really considered to be the case. "And so very kind…I…thank you."

"You're welcome," Tristan said, smiling. "I'm glad you like it. Happy fortieth."

"Oh my…" Mrs Hall said, sniffing slightly. "You've got me going now. 'ere, it's not much but I know what you men are like, always going through them and then never 'aving any when you need them." She handed him another package and he opened to find four new pairs of thick socks, knitted by her own fair hand.

"That's very thoughtful of you, Mrs Hall," he said gratefully. "Nothing worse than cold, wet feet."

"No indeed," Tristan agreed. "So…what plans do you have for your blessed day of birth, beyond dinner this evening, that is?"

"Really, you don't have to go to any trouble this evening," Siegfried said, looking at Mrs Hall.

"Nonsense! You shall 'ave a special birthday dinner." She glanced at Tristan. "I'm sure it'll be quite the occasion."

"Well, if you insist…"

"We do," Tristan said quickly. "And what about the rest of the day?"

"Actually, Lord Hulton called last night and asked if I might like to go up and see Adagio getting put through his paces," he replied brightly. "It would seem prudent, especially if I am going to be the stable's veterinarian."

"How thrilling, can I come?"

"Well, I…"

"I think it's a lovely idea for you to spend your day with your brother," Mrs Hall remarked. "Especially as he's leaving tomorrow evening and won't be back until Christmas."

"Yes…terrible thought…" Siegfried replied. "Oh, all right, you can come with me. But mark my words, Tristan, if you say or do anything to embarrass me, you'll be spending Christmas in Scotland on your own."

"Trust me Siegfried," Tristan grinned. "I wouldn't be on my own."

XXXX

"You've been baking, I see," Tom remarked as he came into the kitchen from the yard, kicking his boots off in the process. "Special occasion?"

Lily looked up from where she had been putting the finishing touches to Siegfried's birthday cake. It was chocolate, as requested, with layers of white icing and chocolate drops on top. Though it wasn't the first cake she had ever made, she did feel particularly proud of it, and couldn't help but hope that the recipient would like it. "It's for Siegfried, as well you know."

"I'd forgotten you were going there this evening."

"No you 'adn't."

"I 'ad."

She sighed, unwilling to get into a debate with him about it. "Well I am and I 'ope 'e likes this creation of mine."

"'ow could 'e not? It looks very tasty."

"Well just you stay away from it," she warned. "I'm not risking taking it all the way down there to open it up and find you've 'ad your fingers in it. Is it all right if I take the van tonight?"

Tom paused, "I could give you a lift if you want."

"No, it's all right. I can drive myself down. Stops me getting too tipsy."

"Well I suppose there's that." Her father paused again. "So…you're good friends then, you and…uh…Mr Farnon."

"I suppose so." She looked up again when he didn't respond further. "Do you 'ave something else to say on the matter?"

"Well I just think…" he squirmed slightly, clearly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. "Far as I'm concerned…well…"

"Well what?"

"I don't rightly think that, well, that lads and lassies…you know…friends like…"

"You think I can't be friends with Siegfried just because 'e's a man?"

"Well, it's a bit unnatural, isn't it?"

"I don't know, is it?"

"I think so."

"Well it's lucky for you that I'm not asking you to be friends with a lady then, isn't it?" She took off her apron and wiped her hands. "Honestly, I don't know where you get your ideas from sometimes."

"So…you're just friends then, you and…Mr Farnon." His expression was both curious and hopeful. Curious in that he wanted to know and hopeful in that he wanted to hear the right response from her. She held his gaze for a long moment, once again inwardly cursing him for the selfishness that they both knew he would never admit to. "Yes Dad, we're just friends."

"Right then," he got up and walked over to the sink. "Nowt to worry about."

XXXX

It had turned out to be a very pleasurable birthday indeed, Siegfried couldn't help but think as he stood at the fence watching Adagio rocket around the track at the rear of Hulton Hall. Looking at him, he seemed none the worse for wear for his escapade in the river and as he flew past for a second time, Siegfried found himself moving back slightly at the spray of grass and mud caused by his hooves.

"He's quite something, isn't it?" Edward said, coming to stand beside him.

"Yes, he certainly is. Do you breed from him?"

"We have done, on occasion. Had a good few winners from him, but he's getting a little older now. I would imagine that next year will be his last racing season. I don't believe in pushing horses until their last gasp. I'd like him to see out his time in pleasant surroundings."

"And admirable viewpoint."

"One which you share?"

"Oh, I'm all for a bit of racing, the thrill of it and all that, but welfare is most important and I agree that one shouldn't force horses to give more than they're capable of giving."

"No indeed." Edward paused. "One of our mares is currently in foal to Adagio. She's due next month and I'd be delighted for you to come up and see the new arrival."

"I'd like that very much," Siegfried replied. "It's been a joy spending time here this afternoon."

"I'm sure you'll be here quite often in your capacity as vet. Who knows, we may even get you into the racecourse at some point, though Andrew Johnston has held the post now for quite some years. Still, much like the horses, he can't go on forever."

The thought gave Siegfried a slight thrill. Attending vet at Darrowby Racecourse. What an honour that would be.

"I thought you might have been accompanied by your lovely assistant today," Edward broke into his thoughts.

"I take it, you're not referring to my brother. Where is he anyway?" he glanced around, but saw no sign of Tristan.

"I think Hugh took him into the stables to keep him out of trouble," Edward smiled. "No, I was referring to Miss Bailey."

"Yes, of course. No, not today, but we'd both be keen to take you up on your offer of riding at some point."

"Yes, please do, and before the weather turns too nasty. There's nothing less enjoyable than hacking out in the wind and rain." They turned and began making their way slowly back towards the stable block. "She seems a very capable sort, Miss Bailey, that is."

"She is," Siegfried agreed, his mind straying to her as it often did. "Very capable."

"I know hardened women farmers who wouldn't jump into freezing rivers."

"Yes, indeed."

"You're not married, Siegfried, are you?"

The suddenness of the question brought him up quite sharp and he found himself stopping dead in his tracks and turning to look at Edward, "I…well…"

"My apologies, terribly rude of me to enquire. Don't tell Margaret, she'll berate me from now until winter solstice."

"No, it's not rude I…I suppose it's a legitimate question. No," he took a deep breath. "I'm not married. Not anymore." Edward raised his eyebrows. "I was married but she…she died."

"Oh, Good Lord. Heavens, do please forgive me. I have no wish to upset you…"

"You haven't," he replied quickly. "Really, you haven't. It's…it's a long time ago now, more than fourteen years and I suppose I…well…I still think of her."

"Of course you do, of course you do. Ridiculous to suggest otherwise." They started walking again. "But you know…you're still a very young man…"

Siegfried laughed, "Am I?"

"Yes, of course you are. You can't be more than, what, forty?"

"Today, in fact."

"Well then, many congratulations to you. You must have a brandy before you go, by way of celebration."

"That's very kind, thank you."

"As I said, you're a very young man with a position of some authority in your local community and, well, certain expectations often fall upon men such as yourself."

"Expectations?"

"Yes," Edward paused. "I rather think people might view my situation here rather differently if I didn't have Margaret and Hugh, of course. Something to think about, eh?"

"Indeed," Siegfried replied as Tristan and Hugh appeared out of the stable block and began making their way across the grass towards them. "Something to think about."