Chapter 30 – Delusions While Reality Approaches
Jasper's POV
I rub my face with the palm of my hand for the umpteenth time in the last few days.
I'm still not sure exactly what happened, but when Rosalie and the other women in our family came back home from that ceremony we've been dealing with hurricane Rose ever since.
Rosalie has always been a very passionate woman. It may seem like she's an ice queen, but that's only the front that she puts up to protect herself from all the hurt that she's had to deal with.
Under her prim and proper stoic behavior lies one of the most lovable and passionate people I have ever met.
Her walls are a lot like Amber's, though they both use them differently. Where Rose uses a cold and a distant front to keep people at bay, Amber uses humor and evasive aloofness. Both are very different approaches, but they both have the same intent. To protect themselves. They truly are half of the same whole.
Right now my sister's mood swings are going to give me whiplash.
No one knows exactly what happened except for what Rosalie has told us, but the fact that Amber is ashamed of Rose is hard to believe.
That girl is crazy about my sister. Amber's affections for Rosalie are some of the most purest and strongest that I've ever felt. I have no doubt that after Amber is turned they will have one of the strongest bonds on earth, and that's saying something coming from an empath.
I'm going to have to enlist the help of my lovely Alice to help me get to the bottom of this.
Alice's POV
It shouldn't come as a surprise that two passionate people would have such a wondrous lovestory. I just hope that everyone will be able live through it.
My take charge mate has decided to take matters into his own hands and get to the bottom of this new misunderstanding between Amber and Rose.
Which leads us to Amber's place that evening. We waited by the front door, but Amber never answered the door.
We know that she's inside, because we can smell her. Jasper tries knocking, well more like pounding on the door, and thankfully after a few more minutes Amber finally answers the door.
What were weren't expecting was to find Amber looking like the walking dead. She was almost as pale as us with the sick coldness that just didn't fit into how hot Amber usually was.
Thankfully Jazz was able to swoop in and catch Amber as she teetered and almost fell face first.
We were able to get her into bed then we called our father and Rose.
Rosalie's POV
Heartbreak that's all that I've felt for the past few days. Mates aren't suppose to reject each other. Sometimes different bonds can be misinterpreted and a vampire could think that they found their mate, but they may have found what could be considered a "temporary mate". It's when all of the signs point to a someone being a destined mate, but it's not destined.
Carlisle could explain things more thoroughly , but I don't need to know all of the specifics. I already know that Amber is it for me.
My family doesn't think that I've been aware of the different conversations that they've been having about how they were worried about if Amber truly was my mate. Their doubts have been echoed in my head off and on.
The distance has been a dead giveaway and a big warning flag. Since mates typically don't separate for long periods of time, that alone has been one of the signs that Amber may not be my actual mate.
I believe that the reason that the distance isn't a factor is, because she isn't choosing to leave, she has to. Amber has heard a calling that very few people hear and even few actually will willingly answer.
It has put a strain on the bond, but I've come to realize that our bond is as unique as Amber and myself.
It's unusual, but it works for us. Besides Amber won't always be in the military. So this leaving issue is a temporary issue in the grand scheme of things.
Though Amber denying our relationship is something that can't be ignored. It makes any rational excuse that I've given to our relationship to explain away any of these flags inconsequential.
My phone ringing for the umpteenth time is the breaking point for me, so I finally answer it with plenty of attitude.
"WHAT?!" I aggressively ask Alice.
"I'm with Amber and she's really sick. You should get over to her place as soon as you can." Alice says with a tone that leaves no room for argument.
All doubts and anger leave me as I hastily make a run for Amber's house.
Jasper opens the door as soon as I make it to the front yard with a grimace on his face.
I do not like the foretelling that his expression is showing.
As we make our way inside he quickly at vampire speed fills me in explaining how they came to talk to Amber and found her in a very sick state.
As I lean in the doorway I watch as my father finishes up his examination. I can't help but worry when I realize that Amber is still asleep throughout the poking and prodding. Which is so unnerving considering that Amber wakes up if you grab or touch her unexpectedly while she's asleep.
Carlisle tosses me a medicine bottle from the side table. After examining it, I realize that it's an antibiotic.
"I'm almost positive that she has pneumonia, a pretty bad case of it I would say. She probably went to the ER with walking pneumonia and after taking those, which don't seem to be helping, it pushed the infection into a more advanced stage. I'm going to get her a prescription for a more aggressive antibiotic and put an IV in to keep her hydrated." Carlisle explains in full doctor mode.
"Why didn't she tell me? I don't understand. " I say dejected.
"You can ask her in a few hours after her fever breaks." My father says while giving me a hug.
Emmett brought in a chair for me so that I could sit beside Amber without disturbing her rest and recovery.
I spent the time reading to Amber from the different books that I found she had laying around the house.
When Amber shifted I noticed that there was a book sticking out from under her blanket. As I gently remove it I can't help but feel a sense of affection wash over me when I realize that it's the same book that I gave to Amber to read when she left on her last deployment. My breath hitches when I realize that Amber was using a picture of us as a bookmark, but not just any picture. It was a picture that I have never seen before.
Amber and I were cuddled up on the couch with me practically laying on top of Amber with my head burrowed into her chest. Amber must have thought I was asleep and had taken the picture.
As I open the book I notice that it is full of other pictures. All of them are either of me or us together. I notice that all of them, except for the bookmarked one, have tape marks like they were taped up somewhere for decorations recently.
I swoon when I realize that Amber had put up all of these pictures when she was gone.
Amber starts to wake up and with all her restless moving she almost pulls out her IV. Thankfully Carlisle heard the commotion and came into the bedroom to check on Amber.
Amber notices Carlisle first with clear confusion in her eyes and quite a bit of apprehension.
Once Amber makes eye contact with me she immediately relaxes. I can't help but give her a smile back.
Carlisle clears his throat to gather our attention from our love struck staring.
"The antibiotics that they gave you weren't strong enough. In the future I would recommend telling any doctors that your body is resistant to most antibiotics. Bad news is that, because your medication didn't work it pushed your pneumonia into a worse stage. I believe we've got it under control now." My father explains in full doctor mode while I feel relieved to hear that Amber is on the road to recovery.
Amber rubs her face with the inside of her hand for a few moments before tiredly saying "Thanks Doc I appreciate it. I think my fever finally broke." Amber says as she tries to unstick her sweaty shirt from her neck. "If you two would please excuse me I have to go change." Amber says as she slowly slips out of her bed.
Amber's POV
After changing my clothes I make my way out of the bathroom to see a sight that melts my heart.
Rosalie is finishing up changing my sheets. I love how she shows how much she cares through these small type of ways.
"Thank you darlin'. I appreciate the help but I'm worried that y'all are going to get sick because of me. Though I'm very tempted to hold you hostage in this bed" I tell Rose.
"I doubt with how sick you are that you actually have the strength to do much of anything." Rosalie flat out tells me just as I collapse into the bed from exhaustion. Only proving her point as she merely raises here eyebrows at me in an I told you so manner.
My only response is to pat the space next to me invitingly as I try to give a the best attempt at puppy dog eyes that I'm able to in my state, which was not even good enough for a half attempt.
What confused me is that Rosalie started to make a move for the bed, but hesitates.
"You're right you shouldn't get too close." The rest of what I was going to say gets cut off by the door opening the rest of the way. In came Esme carrying a tray with what looked to be a big bowl of hot stew.
"Why thank you ma'am, this looks delicious." After I greedily wolf down almost half the stew, which was delicious homemade beef stew with big chunks of beef, potatoes, celery, carrots, and other delectable ingredients.
"Oh my,, when was the last time that you ate dear?" Esme asks worriedly.
"I'm not even sure. I know Mike made us dinner before he went into the field, so Monday?" I say kind of confused about the timeliness or what day it even is.
Esme gives me a motherly look before saying, "Sweetheart, that was two days ago."
I try to explain by saying,, "Well things have been kind of hazy, but I appreciate you and the family coming to check on me."
I take a quick glance at Rosalie and realize that she's still being standoffish. I was afraid that this would happen. We had a world wind love affair and now that she's had time to think about us with a clear head without the added excitement and had a chance to calm down the over exaggerated feelings that she thought were real at the time, she's realized that she was just caught up in the moment and the romanticized emotions of being with a soldier before they were shipped out. It was just a passing fantasy of a young girl's heart.
This was a very real possibility that kept nagging in the back of my head before I left.
I knew that things could turn out this way, but I went diving in head first anyway. I was being selfish, plain and simple. I was headed into the dangers of the unknown and I wanted to be able to live in that night over and over. It gave me a hope for a future to cling to during the tough days that knew without a doubt that were in front of me.
Again selfishly if Rosalie only gave me one date, I would do it without hesitation, because I would have not only regretted the missed opportunity, but because I will always take the chance on a what if even if it might not work out in the end. Tis better to love and lost then to not have loved at all.
I have royally screwed up my head and emotions this time though, because I know what being with Rosalie was like now and having to go back to just friends will probably shatter me, but that's love for you. I'll sacrifice my heart just to be able to have her in my life . I'll have to learn how to love her from a far.
I almost laugh at the irony, because this isn't a fairytale and we're not Romeo and Juliette.
I've never been more thankful for my ability to be able to keep not only keep my emotions in check, but my face blank.
I know I'll need every ounce of my mental fortitude to steele myself for this conversation.
