Diana greets Alfred and Martha Kent with a kiss on either cheek. They run through pleasantries on the way to the Wayne Manor sitting room, and before Diana knows it, she's been talking for nearly an hour about the small things in life.

Eventually, she sets her cup of tea aside and looks at her best friends' parents more seriously. "As much as I enjoy your company, I would like to know why you requested my presence."

Alfred and Martha exchange a look. Diana isn't sure if it's a good thing or not, but she assumes the latter.

"Princess," Alfred addresses her formally, a habit she tried to break but the man is nothing if not persistent. "Would you agree that, for all of his good work, Master Bruce would most benefit from a vacation?"

That sounds...fair. Good, in fact. Diana can't remember the last time she saw Bruce not covered in bruises or nursing a broken bone. He's been pushing himself more lately and it's driven over half of the Justice League to file genuine complaints.

"A vacation sounds lovely." Diana smiles, already prepared to convince Bruce of the very same thing.

"And I think Clark could do the same," Martha adds. "He never takes time for himself outside of being Superman and his reporting job. He may be invulnerable, but his mind can get restless like anyone else. So, if it's not too much..."

Again, the two share a look.

Alfred pulls out a manila folder from seemingly nowhere. "Knowing Master Bruce and Mister Kent, I believe it would be best we bring the idea to them in...disguise." He says it like it's a piece of young gossip.

"You have my interest." Diana takes the folder and flips through the pages.

"It's quite simple," Alfred says. "A new drug lord has made his attempts at joining the grander rings. Mr. Adam West and his accomplice, Miss Lynda Carter, are attempting to escape into The Dominican Republic via the Honeymoon Cruises line. It would be in our best interest if two of your best heroes could-"


"-go undercover to stop them."

Silence fills the meeting room. Diana stands at its head with the file spread across the table, hands on her hips.

"Why doesn't Arthur just send dolphins to stop the cruise ship and nab the criminals?" Hal yawns. "That seems way easier than trying to enter the cruise ship under disguises."

"He called off because of that oil spill," John Stewart reminds his fellow Green Lantern. "Besides, he'd still need to find the two drug lords among the ship's guests and crew. It says West and Carter had plastic surgery to hide their faces."

J'onn pulls the file closer to himself. "That will prove the most difficult. These criminals may be trapped within the boat until they arrive to their escape location, but there could be thousands aboard. We will need Batman's detective skills, I'm afraid."

"Hm..."

Diana has to bite back a grin. She'll have to thank J'onn for that later.

"I mean, he's paying for it anyway," Flash laughs. "He might as well be the one to go, right? Not that I wouldn't mind an all-expenses-paid retreat on the open blue!"

Hawkgirl frowns. "I feel like we're missing something here. I mean, isn't this a honeymoon cruise? We can't just send one of us, right? It'll look suspicious."

All eyes turn to Bruce, who stares ahead with a glare. It deepens when everyone starts talking at once.

"I can!" Flash nearly jumps from his seat. "I'm great at fake dating!"

"I guess I could, if the mission required it." Hal sighs a little too hard.

"No one would question us together on a cruise," Green Arrow shrugs.

"I mean, if it would help-" Clark starts quietly.

Diana takes back the file sharply and the room falls quiet again in seconds. She arranges the papers neatly back into their folder and tucks it under her arm. "Superman and Batman will go. Both are some of our best detectives and if anything goes wrong, Superman could fly the entire ship to safety." She glances at her friends but both men look completely neutral.

No, wait. There's a slight pink dusting to Clark's cheeks. And no doubt Bruce's heart has picked up slightly.

But of course, only Clark would be able to hear it.

"That settles it," Diana says. "Anything else?"

Nothing but dejected frowns and bored stares.

"Good. Meeting dismissed."

The heroes leave at a leisurely pace, but Diana pays it little mind. She focuses more on ensuring Bruce cannot, in any possible way, trace this back to Alfred and Martha before he's gone on his vacation. But given the pure details and the edited pictures of their 'crime lords', she can't see how anyone would suspect it to be fake. For Gods sake, these false criminals have entire family lines!

Diana turns at the feeling of eyes on her.

Bruce and Clark stand side-by-side.

"The file," Diana offers it as if it were any other, but Bruce doesn't take it immediately.

Dread starts to pool in her stomach. How?!

"There's, ah, something Bruce and I were concerned about." Clark shuffles in place awkwardly. "He thought it may bring too much attention to us if we went undercover as a gay couple."

Oh. Diana fights back a sigh of relief. "I see. Is there anyone else you think should come, then?" She's already got the two of them on board -no pun intended- so it wouldn't hurt for a couple other members to get the rest as well.

"For simplicity's sake," Bruce starts. "You'll come with me and Clark can ask Lois. Hawkgirl would be hard to disguise, Dinah would prefer Oliver went as well, and Zatanna-"

Diana holds up a hand before Bruce can list every single other option. "I'm glad to come along. And assuming Lois is as well, there should be no issue with it."

Lois already knows about most of the League's identities. A famous reporter as good as Lois Lane has come in handy more times than Diana can count. Mishaps with costumes or simple bad publicity -which happens often, in Flash's case- are quickly swept under the rug with Lois on their team.

Oh, it sounds like a blessing from the Gods. A two-week cruise on Bruce's dime. Nothing but sunny days and relaxation. No real drug lords or alien invasions to worry about.

She simply cannot wait.


"We drop off the luggage at seven fifteen, security will take forty-eight minutes -or ninety-three, depending on how many kids there are- and then we check into our rooms once the ship departs."

Diana...doesn't regret agreeing to go. She just regrets being friends with Bruce.

"Does everyone have their tickets on hand? I can hold them if you want."

And Clark.

"We're adults, Smallville. We can handle carrying our own tickets." Lois gives her friend a jab in his ribs. He doesn't react, already focused on helping Bruce find an acceptable parking spot.

"Tell me again why Alfred couldn't drop us off?" Diana knows, but she still can't quite understand the logic.

"Because," Bruce talks to her like she's one of his kids. It's impossibly frustrating. "He needs to be ready in case Signal needs the Batmobile."

Right. As if Bruce Wayne's butler driving the Batmobile to aid one of Gotham's many vigilantes wouldn't be suspicious at all.

"You have adult children too, Bruce." Diana reminds.

"Yes. And they're both grounded from so much as touching it for the next two years."

Clark mutters, "You know, they still drive it when they think you aren't looking."

Bruce's answer comes in the form of a deepening frown and white knuckles against his steering wheel.

The next twenty minutes are filled with tense cooperation. Bruce drops them off to hand off their luggage while he parks the car, then they all gather in the security line where the cruise ship is parked. It's a long process and Diana has never been fond of allowing strangers to look through her belongings, no matter how non-magical they may be.

Their disguises, as minimal as they are, pass easily through the metal detectors and uniformed workers. Clark and Lois have gone as themselves, aside from Clark's need-less glasses and slouching. Diana has done little more. She's dressed to fit in among the rich women around her. The armor will be missed, but even she can see when loose flannels and sunhats are preferred over her bracelets and lasso.

And Bruce, being who he is, has gone as none of his previous identities. He grew out as much of a mustache as he could in the short time Alfred gave them. His hair is unusually messy and his natural waves are no longer forced back. His papers have been forged with the name Bruce Price, something Diana rolled her eyes at upon first seeing it. And to top it all off, he's brought a dark wood cane for his 'injured' leg -a wound from his younger years as a police sheriff.

Eventually, they make it through to a clearing between the end of security and the actual entrance to the ship. It'll be another hour or so before any guests are allowed on.

And then it's nothing but relaxation and sunny skies.

"You think we'll find our guys early?" Lois half-whispers. "They could be in this exact room and we don't know it yet. I could go snooping around if you want. Slip a few IDs, maybe stumble across some unauthorized weapons?"

Oh, no. When did Lois get filled in on the 'mission'?

"Unlikely," Clark whispers back. "Security's too tight. If there's ever a time they'll be cautious, it's now."

"A girl can hope," Lois shrugs.

"We'll wait a few days before doing any real investigating," Bruce pretends to be reading the cruise's brochure. "But be on the lookout regardless."

Like a vision sent to her by the Gods, Diana can see the next two weeks turning into a constant battle against the stubborn will of her friends. There is no relaxing, no breath of fresh air between desperate attempts at stopping them from breaking into every single room for clues.

It's a nightmare she must stop from coming to pass!

Diana stands sharply, startling all three of her friends. She doesn't give them time to question it before she's blurting out, "Lois! Do you have any tampons or pads?"

Lois blinks up at her. "Uh, yeah. Just give me a sec-"

"You'll have to join me, I'm afraid!" Diana is already grabbing the woman by her shoulders and steering her towards the bathrooms. "I'm still unfamiliar with how the applicators work! Verbal instructions should do me good!"

"I guess-"

She lets Lois pull away once they're safe behind the locked door. She's about to speak but remembers Clark can still hear them.

"Here. What day are you on? I have a few for heavy flow, but most are regular-"

Diana interrupts Lois for the third time by grabbing out her phone and typing the truth of this mission. She waits for Lois to read it, look up in shock, then stop herself from also shouting her response.

Lois types furiously as Diana pretends to open the tampon offered to her.

So theres no criminils?!11!

"How do I put it in?" Diana speaks to no one as she types her response.

No. It was a clever plan crafted by their guardians.

"Just put it in and press on the bottom part!" Lois furrows her brows in concentration.

You made bruce pay for his own vaccation! Thats actually hilarious!

Well, she didn't make him, per say, but that detail isn't important.

Let them learn this on their own. They'll catch on eventually.

And in the meantime we all get to enjoy a lucurious cruise!

Lois gives her a wicked smile. "Perfect!"

Diana pockets her phone, glad this was cleared up. "I appreciate your help tremendously, Lois."

The two of them walk back out of the bathroom as if nothing happened. Lois sits back down with a casual, "move, Big Guy," and Diana pulls her hand back over her shoulder again.

The boys don't suspect a thing.

A voice welcomes them to the Honeymoon Cruises line as crew workers start allowing guests to line up in front of the gangway. Everyone stands in pairs, each partner with their new spouse. Clark and Lois lock elbows as they wait near the front of the line. Diana and Bruce are five couples back with their fingers interlocked. It's affectionate enough to pass, but not uncomfortably close. She's grateful Bruce isn't taking this role as seriously as he does everything else.

Like passing into another realm, Diana holds her breath as they clear the door and step into the lobby of the ship. Warm lights fill the brilliant room. The carpets are all patterned in complex, yet easily ignored swirls of red and brown. A massive glass art piece hands from the middle of it all, sunrays reflecting off each crystal to fast rainbows across the walls. It all sways just slightly with the crest of the waves.

"Welcome to my world's luxury, Princess." She can hear Bruce's smirk in his voice.

Compared to a throne and the power of her people, this is nothing more than material wealth on display. Yet, Diana can't help but admire it for what it is.

With a breath tasting of salt, Diana gestures before them. "Lead the way, Dearest."