PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
A DESTIEL RIP-OFF
Chapter one.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.
"My dear Mr. Novak," said his lady to him one day, "have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?" Mr. Novak replied that he had not. "But it is," returned she; "for Mrs. Shurley has just been here, and she told me all about it." Mr. Novak made no answer. "Do you not want to know who has taken it?" cried his wife impatiently. "You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it." This was invitation enough. "Why, my dear, you must know, Mrs. Shurley says that Netherfield is taken by a young lady of large fortune from the north of England; that she came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and was so much delighted with it, that she agreed with Mr. Krushnic immediately; that she is to take possession before Michaelmas, and some of her servants are to be in the house by the end of next week." "What is her name?" "Bradbury." "Is she married or single?" "Oh! Single, my dear, to be sure! A single woman of large fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our children!" "How so? How can it affect them?" "My dear Mr. Novak," replied his wife, "how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of her marrying one of them." "Is that her design in settling here?" "Design! Nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that she may fall in love with one of them, and therefore you must visit her as soon as she comes." "I see no occasion for that. You and the children may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better, for as you are as handsome as any of them, Mrs. Bradbury may like you the best of the party."
"My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be anything extraordinary now. When a woman has five grown-up daughters, she ought to give over thinking of her own beauty."
"In such cases, a woman has not often much beauty to think of."
"But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Mrs. Bradbury when she comes into the neighbourhood."
"It is more than I engage for, I assure you."
"But consider your children. Only think what an establishment it would be for one of them. Sir Balthazar and Lady Hannah are determined to go, merely on that account, for in general, you know, they visit no newcomers. Indeed you must go, for it will be impossible for us to visit her if you do not." "You are over-scrupulous, surely. I dare say Mrs. Bradbury will be very glad to see you; and I will send a few lines by you to assure her of my hearty consent to her marrying whichever she chooses of the children; though I must throw in a good word for my little Cas." "I desire you will do no such thing. Cas is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure he is not half so handsome as Anna, nor half so good-humoured as Adam. But you are always giving him the preference." "They have none of them much to recommend them," replied he; "they are all silly and ignorant like other children; but Cas has something more of quickness than his siblings."
"Mr. Novak, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves."
"You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these last twenty years at least." "Ah, you do not know what I suffer." "But I hope you will get over it, and live to see many young people of four thousand a year come into the neighbourhood." "It will be no use to us, if twenty such should come, since you will not visit them." "Depend upon it, my dear, that when there are twenty, I will visit them all." Mr. Novak was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three-and-twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character. Her mind was less difficult to develop. She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper. When she was discontented, she fancied herself nervous. The business of her life was to get her children married; its solace was visiting and news.
