Clouded - Part 2
It could not be. So long in the dark. Festering in filth and rotting in refuse. Why would the light of the stars come to him now? So many times he had heard her voice. Heard whispered pleas, cries of pain. He had tried to reach them at first. Screamed until he had no voice for her to just hear him. To find why she was always in so much pain. He'd tried to stop it. But he had failed. Just as he had failed his master.
He was forgotten. Lost. Alone and there was nothing he could do. He tried to block out the visions. The voices of his master. He failed. He failed and failed and failed and now look at him. A wretch in a hole. In the dark. In ruin.
He'd heard a song some time ago… heard the soft tones that calmed his mind for a moment. In the flickering flames he had seen her, but not alone. With others… and yet the song she sang… it was for him. He had felt it. He had been so sure, so certain. Then it faded and the voices were so loud. Had he imagined it? What was real anymore?! Why had he seen her with others? Like him but not him. Had she replaced him? Forgotten him for the sake of these new pets? His rage had known no bounds, yet in such a place all he could do was scream and rage in his hovel of metal and dirt and filth.
Yet… here she was. Her eyes… only one of them the endless blue he remembered. Her face… he had forgotten it. But the eyes… Now there was one. His master had taken one of them from him! No… no it was not just his master, but his own failure. His own inaction. He had done this to those eyes of hers. It pained him deep down, to know he had failed her as well. Had that been the reason she was gone? No… there was something else. She was in danger… but she was here? Nothing made sense, the thoughts so wild in his mind. He lashed out at this apparition. This vile imitation. How dare this tormentor dare to imitate her!
But she was not afraid. And at her touch, all was silent.
How can this be? He hissed, wide-eyed.
I don't know how, but I am connected to you, sire. I can feel your presence but I do not know where you are. It was as though she was really there. She looked so real. She felt so real. Her hands had some small calluses, but were still so soft. So cool. Refreshing in the sweltering heat of the fires in this place. He felt himself weaken. Metal creaked and groaned as he lowered himself to her, leaning into the touch of her hand.
I am lost. I am broken. He managed, hoarsely. He felt so tired.
Never, master. The word stirred him, reminded of so long ago when she had called him that. Surely they were just children then. It seemed so far away now.
Am I still your master? He asked. Was he even worthy of such a title after such failure?
Always. She replied in that earnest voice that pulled at him. You are my master, my commander and my Prince. He had denied it then. Pretended that feeling was not there. Pretended that the way she spoke to and about him had not ignited an inferno inside him. He was a fool. He had pretended to be unswayed. Keep control as a Sith should do… Do as his master would wish. For what? Just to be tossed aside anyway? He should have given in the moment he met her eyes in that alleyway. So many years ago now. It felt like another life. Forced himself to remember what he should never have forgotten. What he had to forget to save himself. To save her. It seemed so clear now. The haze lifted and he remembered nearly everything. Would it return when she inevitably disappeared again? Her hands held him gently but firmly, thumb brushing his cheek as she gazed at him. It was different this time. He could feel it. Not just the physical touch, but the power. The energy of her in the Force. Her hands slid from his cheek to the back of his head, her own forehead pressed to his. There was another silence.
You survived.
Yes, my master, as I promised. As you have. She whispered, so close to him, he was sure he could smell that perfume of hers again. That wonderful dark scent that reminded him of old books, and mystery and magick places. I will bring you out of this place you are trapped in, I swear it.
How will you find me? This place is… so dark… so barren.
I will do anything I must. She replied with conviction. One hand left his skin, the air blistering in the absence of her cool touch. She reached into the robe she wore, and retrieved a familiar item. The pendant. Her half, still around her neck, still with her. His own piece hummed in response. He could feel the tiny pulses stronger now. She laid her hand out flat, the golden trinket rising on it's own, reaching for his half. The two halves lifted into the air between them, only anchored by their cords, but the two zabrak were close enough that the pendant could reach, and join together. In a flash, the grime and dirt from his half dissipated, leaving it gleaming in the dim light once more. The shine reminded him of the red-gold sunset reflecting in her hair on Coruscant. He had ignored such things, refusing to acknowledge them. So foolish.
There was a ripple of power through them both as the pendant became whole. Some connection between them that was innate stronger all of a sudden. He could not describe it. He knew this rest was only temporary, that the anxieties and pain and doubt and madness would seep back in, gnawing at him on the inside. His trembling hands reached out, gently laying upon her shoulders, just to feel that there was someone there. That he wasn't alone.
I will always come for you, my master. She spoke in that unspoken voice again, her soft lips not moving. He remembered what they felt like once. The moment they had made contact was like tasting lightning under his hands. It electrified him and ignited him all at once and he remembered nothing else. All there was, was the two of them. His head lowered as he let out a sigh. He was so tired. He felt her hands on his skin once more, sliding over his shoulders and enveloping him in her aura like a fresh breeze. A respite from the madness. His head rested on her shoulder heavily and his shoulders sagged.
You need rest, my lord. She murmured. He felt her move and instinctively clung a little tighter. He didn't want to be alone again! Let this hallucination last a little longer. This time she held on a little tighter and brought him with her. She lowered to the ground and curled her legs under her, she patted her thigh that he could rest his head. The metal that was his lower half creaked and groaned, the multiple legs tapping on the uneven ground. He felt shame that she saw him like this and turned his face away.
I must look like a monster… the thought found sound unbidden.
Never, master. You are hard to see but you will never be a monster to me. There was a pause. Do I look monstrous? All scarred and broken? He looked up, his bloodshot eyes searching her face. The green eye glowed faintly, the other still and endless bejewelled blue. Her expression filled with so much kindness that he had not seen from anyone else.
No. Not to me. He admitted. But seeing them… I am reminded of my own weakness.
Self preservation is not a weakness. She replied, her soft fingers caressing over the side of his face as he laid his head in her lap. It was soothing. You did what you had to do, I am just sorry I was foolish enough to get caught. He looked up at her, she smiled at him. No one else smiled at him. No one else came looking for him. No one else wanted to. He laid his hand against her thigh beside his cheek, the other reached out to hold her spare hand, fearful she might disappear, though deep down he knew she had to. Would she come back?
When you go… what will you do?
I will come to find you in person, not just in dreams.
...Do you promise? He felt like such a child, yet alone in the darkness, unsure if she was real or not… perhaps he could be free to be like this.
I promise. He could hear the smile in her voice. He felt a little better, the darkness kept back long enough that he could rest.
Will you be here when I wake?
I don't know. But even if I am not, I will return. He didn't like that answer, he wanted her to stay, but he was so tired he was unable to answer, his eyes drifting closed as he fell into sleep finally.
When Zaiya awoke she felt heavy, and still a bit tired despite the sleep. Though she knew that her time on Dathomir was coming to an end if she was able to connect to her Prince this way. The tether felt stronger, and while she had escaped her confinement, he was still trapped. She would have to find him quickly, the amount of pain he must be in, mentally as well as physically was disturbing. She didn't know where to start however, but she hoped that with the connection through her pendant, that the trace would be stronger.
As her senses returned, she realised she was back in her room in the temple. The fire being the only warmth in the room. She swore she could feel remnants of where his horns had pressed against her legs through the fabric. A ghost of a touch, reminding her that he was there.
No longer could she call these dreams or visions. They were real. They had to be. Though she had not been able to see him clearly in the strange dreamstate she had been in, it was real. It had been the sith himself. Perhaps if he knew she was looking for him, he might be able to find a way to reach out. She hoped that whatever madness had ensnared him, that they would be able to push it back. Return him to as he once was. She did not know how, but she knew she would find a way.
She rose and gathered her things, dressing for a journey. Leather boots rising above the knee, a crisscross pattern in different leathers made up the main feature. Loose fitting pants, fitted from the knee down but far more fabric from knee to waist. Her top came high in her neck, long sleeves under a leather vest, plenty of pockets and an extra layer of thin flexible plating that should help against most blaster bolts should she encounter trouble. A large belt clipped around her waist and at her left shoulder she wore a crimson cape against all the black of the rest of her clothing. Lastly she tugged on a pair of gloves, the only skin of her showing was her face with her hood down. Her hair however she left out in tumbling snowy curls that fell to her waist for now. She had plans for that later.
Down in the lower levels of the temple she found Mother Talzin once more. The tall witch's icy gaze swept over the young Sister.
"You are ready to continue your journey." She asked slowly, though it was not really a question.
"Yes, Great Mother." Zaiya spoke respectfully, bowing her head. "I received another vision after your training, and I believe it is time that I go. I should be healed enough now." She could not really heal from almost constant nightmares, but she did not say anything about that for now.
"You unlocked great power last time, little one, but you over exerted yourself." She laid a large hand on Zaiya's shoulder. "Be careful as you use your power, child."
"I will, Ma'tra." The younger Nightsister replied. "I will not make the same mistakes again." She was determined and firm in her words. Talzin nodded.
"I will have the younger sisters prepare your ship."
"Very well. I shall say my goodbyes." She bowed deeply, keeping her face neutral, as she had perfected to do over the last few years, then turned to leave. She could feel Talzin's eyes on her the entire time.
Her mother was of course sad to see her go so soon, but hugged her tight and assured that she was so proud of her daughter. Zaiya could only smile, and embraced her tightly.
"There is one thing I would like to ask of you, before I go if I could…" Zaiya began, Tailli drew back curiously.
"Of course, what is it?"
"Would you… braid my hair?" A warrior braid or haircut to the Nightsisters was incredibly important, a sight of trust and reverence. To touch another's hair without permission was seen as an invasion of privacy. To be asked to cut or comb a Sister's hair was a sign of deep respect. Tailli looked at her daughter with trembling hands, Mother Talzin had been the one to do this for Zaiya in the past, now she was asking her birthmother.
"Of course, my darling." She whispered with a teary expression. She styled the white curly locks in a thick braid down the centre of her head, two smaller braids on each side of her head pulled the loose hair back, The five braids met behind her head, and hung down her back, reaching between her shoulder blades. When she saw the work her mother had done, she was so pleased. She felt complete again. Finally she stood, ready to face the galaxy again. Zaiya stood and faced Tailli once more.
"I will be in communication, mama." She told her, kissing the woman affectionately on the temple.
"Mama…?" Tailli asked with a soft voice.
"Yes. Talzin may be our Great Mother and Mother to the clan… but you are my mama alone." She nodded, feeling emotion rise in her chest. Tailli looked on the verge or tears, they welled in her eyes as she nodded.
"I will always be your mama, my little pearl." It was an old nickname that she had not used in a long time, but Zaiya felt warmth in her heart at hearing it.
"Ah, do not weep, mama or I will have to join you!" She laughed, though the emotions plucked at her hearts despite her claim. Tailli held her daughter tight and looked the happiest Zaiya had ever seen her when she finally left her side.
The white haired zabrak moved to her speeder. The boys would not be pleased, but the sooner she found their brother, the sooner she could figure out how to get them all to safety.
They had almost expected her this time, but the looks that crossed her precious Nightbrother's features were a mix of apprehension and sadness. They knew she was leaving even before she spoke.
"It's time." Was all she said. They nodded, and even the other three brothers seemed a little disappointed. A little. Though with Brutus it was hard to tell. She brought with her a new comm device, similar to the one she had given her mother. "I don't think you have to hide this one." She smiled, brushing her thumb over Feral's warm cheek. "I should be able to send regular messages, and if you wish to contact me, do so. I don't want you to feel abandoned ever again." Her other hand squeezed Savage's arm affectionately.
"Oh I am sure Savage will be annoying you hourly." Feral chuckled, hiding his sadness with a smile.
"Then I look forward to it!" Zaiya returned. "But there is one thing I would ask of you, if you feel confident to do so." She began, Brutus was instantly suspicious, Sunder and Riot were unsure, where Feral and Savage were just curious. "I would be honoured… if you would adorn my braid." Her mother may have been the one to braid it, but the little metal rings and clasps in black metal that she had with her were also symbolic.
"Adorn it?" Feral asked, and she realised they didn't know. Of course not, it was not something they would do, Zabrak males rarely had hair. Not the Dathomirian ones anyway. She took out a small amount of black metal rings, various beads, feathers, thin wire and clasps. She laid them on the little table before her and gestured to them.
"Among the Sisters, hair styling and decorations are symbolic and to touch our hair is a sign of intimacy in a sense, a sign of trust." She explained, so I would be thrilled if you would choose an adornment for me to wear.
"So this is… like having a brother sharpen your horns for you…" Riot murmured, seeming to take to the idea first. Zaiya nodded.
"Exactly. I am proud to show you off as being important to me." This seemed to bring about some understanding, and Savage picked a feather, yellow and black spots toward the tip. Feral was contemplating for a moment but she noticed the other three didn't move, she gestured to the little pile. "You may choose as well, if you wish." She offered. Sunder's eyes were wide, Brutus bristled but of all of them Riot grabbed a bead first, a red one that looked somewhat like a jewel. Brutus took a moment and picked up a simple metal ring, holding it out. Sunder took his time, eyes darting back and forth as though unsure what the right choice was. Zaiya gingerly reached out and pressed a fingertip to his wrist gently. He froze.
"You don't have to, only if you want to. Something that you like, there is no wrong answer." She felt his anxieties through the force, but she was learning the subtle looks of his face, and could see his worry now, even though he hid it well. She withdrew and he seemed torn but eventually, he picked up a bead as well, in black. Last was Feral, whose eyes had become thoughtful.
"I have an idea," He mused, and picked up some soft gold wire. He took up all of the items and leaned in close to attach it just behind her right ear. There was a little fiddling, and he pulled a few times, but she didn't move until he was done. She had a small mirror with her and had a look. He had intertwined the items together with one of her snowy white braids, but also with the golden wire so all of the trinkets the Nightbrothers chose were bound together as they dangled just under her ear. The Sister grinned brightly.
"It's beautiful!" She beamed. She reached up to embrace them, one at a time, being gentle of course, and even Brutus accepted, though was very tense the whole time. She leaned closer, whispering in his ear. "Feral is lucky to have someone like you." She told him, and if possible he just froze up more. She wasn't sure if she should have said anything, and he stared at her with wide eyes afterwards, but she just smiled and had to hope he knew that she was no threat to them.
Finally she was ready, and had to say her goodbyes properly, Savage and Feral barely let her go but after a kiss on both cheeks and yet another promise to return, she had to tear herself away. At least they seemed a little more at ease this time, though she could feel their anxieties through the force. She couldn't blame them, she was nervous too, but more determined than ever. Now she just had to let the force guide her forward.
Notes:
Aww yay! Sweet moments! SpiderMaul is just... chilling... sort of. So she is gonna go searching, go to find some clue as to where he is...! Next week we will meet some familiar faces in the next chapter: Kamino. As always I love your comments and I had a few with yesterday's chapter. OMG the JOY I felt this morning when I woke, you have no idea! I hope you like this one! LMK your predictions on who we get to see next chapter! I'd love to know!
