Lost - Part 2

She'd not intended to fall asleep, but the warmth of his head and arms pressed against her was too comforting, too relaxing. By the time she awoke, she could already tell it was much later than she usually did. Mid morning? Afternoon? She couldn't tell but it was late. She would be punished for this. No… would she? Her hand went to her throat. No collar. She was going to be alright. She also realised she wasn't sitting up anymore. She was laying down… and… she was curled around the essentially naked zabrak, an arm draped over his waist. He might have been bare of clothing, but from the waist down was nothing but cold metal, like a droid so there was hardly anything lewd about it. Still, when did this happen? She remained still, realising he too was awake and… he was… playing with her hand? She could feel him trailing his fingers over the skin of her own, tracing the patterns inked into her pale flesh. Wait. She could feel his skin. Her gloves were off. How had he managed that without her waking? She must have been far more tired than she initially thought. She so rarely removed her gloves. Looking at her tattooed hands was… it was just a reminder of the Nightsisters, what they did and the reminder of what they were. But worse than that, a reminder of what she had done when she was not her own. When she was a puppet for that man. Always the gloves would come off when she was forced to act… and Nannie... Sometimes it was hard to look. She could feel the way he ran his hands over hers, he wasn't disgusted, he was… curious? She couldn't see his face so she had to assume this was the case. She also felt inappropriate. To be curled around her Prince like this. She was his apprentice at most… though she was not sure if that was the best term. She was more like… his subordinate. His guard. Wasn't she? They were friends once, but much had happened between that time and she didn't know where she stood with him. More to the fact, he was not in his right mind so moments like these felt like she was taking advantage of him. She didn't even know if he would remember this, or remembered things he had done. Currently he was acting… more like a curious child than anything else, perhaps this was the best way for his mind to protect itself. He had forgotten her once before after all.

It formed in her mind, before she even had consciously realised it. They had a connection, clearly, through the Force somehow, what if she used her power to walk through his memories? To help piece his mind back together. That could work! She realised his hands had stilled against hers, and she wanted to curl her hand against his, interlace her fingers and pull him closer. But she didn't. It would be too inappropriate like this.

He shifted, slowly turning to look at her. "I didn't mean to disturb you, sire." She murmured with a small smile. He seemed worried, his hand still holding hers.

"You stayed." He whispered.

"Of course." She nodded, her smile widened slightly. His lips upturned slightly in the corners. He shifted forward, holding her as a child might, adding to her suspicions of his mental regression. She didn't know if he would regret this later, there was a high likelihood he would, considering how proud he usually was. For now though, she would do what he needed of her.

It broke her hearts to eventually pull away. The little whimpering sound he made as she pulled back was so sweet she wanted to melt, she'd not heard such a sound from him even when she was a child. She stayed on the bed, but sat up, keeping a hold of his hand.

"I'm not leaving you sire," She assured, caressing the back of his hand with her thumb. "I need to make sure you are taken care of, so you can heal. Are you hungry?" She touched the underside of his chin gently with her free hand. His eyes seemed a little less bloodshot now as they darted around the room. After a moment he just nodded. She smiled a little wider, squeezing his hands gently. "Let me fetch some food for you, and some clothes, alright?" She moved to stand again and his hands gripped tighter. "It will be like on the ship, I will only be gone for a short time." His brow furrowed slightly. "I came back. I always come back, don't I?" He paused then, glancing away and searching the air as though he were looking for the answer in the space between them. Eventually he looked back at her and he nodded, releasing her hand.

Zaiya quickly moved to the fireplace, using her magick to light it in order to warm the room a little. She felt the need to be quick, not just for the way he stared at her, but also… for who else might linger in the temple. She knew Mother Talzin was somewhere, though Zaiya had no way to know whether any of the other sisters knew about that. Were they outside? She couldn't sense anyone, but the last thing she wanted was Sheena finding her way in here. Her lip curled as she left the room, the thought sinking into her with a shiver. Sheena was the last person she had the patience to deal with.

A thousand thoughts ran through her mind as she descended the steps to the lower part of the temple. Most often, meals were served out in the main village, but there were always decent provisions left in the temple for those that did not have time to join the others if their rituals took longer than anticipated. Zaiya hurried down, collecting the items she needed, before heading back to her room.

"...sure it is wise?"

"Be calm, Sister, this has been a long time in the making." Mother Talzin's voice. Zaiya stilled to listen. What did she mean?

"Of all the Sisters, it had to be the one that isn't one of us!" Ah, Sheena, of course. "That corcitura will be the end of us, Ma'tra, you can't expect me to accept this! Her fraternisation with the brothers will bring us nothing but ruin! You should exile her to Maka'Sichu! She is just-"

"You forget yourself, Stra'lupta. She is the youngest of all the Nightsisters to take the trial, and one of the most powerful. She also returned hi'jo to me…" Talzin sounded unreasonably calm, almost amused.

"He is hardly your son anymore, I saw what he has become… Juta'te'is…! What use is he? Not even suitable for a Shi'kaa anymore." The blatant disrespect was infuriating, Zaiya almost snapped the plate she held in half. To say such things of the Prince of Dathomir… to his own mother?!

"Your jealousy grows too strong once more, Sister, you need not fear, unless you have given her reason to strike you down?" Oh there was reason. More than enough.

"She cannot harm me, it is against the Doji'im." Sheena retorted. Zaiya could not see them, but heard their voices growing softer, they must have been moving away.

"Of course, dear sister. Now, prepare for the hunt, there will be much magicks spent tonight…" Talzin didn't even defend her own son! All this time… had she simply wanted him back like stolen property? The white haired woman let out a low growl as she hurried back to the room, she would have to ensure he was alright.

The room seemed empty on her return and she paused in the doorway, scanning the room for him. She let her senses expand for a moment, he was still here-ah. She let a small smile cross her features, moving into the room, laying down clothing she had found for him on the bed. Technically they were for Nightsisters, but the robes and pants should fit his slender frame. She then moved to the fire, it had at least taken the chill from the room, and cast some light in the dark space, though the shadows in the far corner were still dark. Two yellow eyes watched from the darkness. Glowing, watching, waiting. She set about heating the meal for the both of them, warming it on a metal grate above the fire. It would take time, but she had time now. She had all the time she needed for him.

She took up a position on the floor, the threadbare rug that did little to protect her from the cold of the stone floor. Her legs folded under her and her cloak cast aside for now. Both hands rested in her lap as she looked up to the eyes in the dark. She watched him freeze in place.

"Will you sit with me, Sire?" She asked. Slowly, slowly he approached, the vibrant red of his skin looking healthier already. He was hesitant, but eventually took a seat before her. She reached for her cloak beside her and wrapped it around his shoulders, the corner of her lips curving upwards. "Better?" She asked, a hand resting on his shoulder. He looked down at the cloak, feeling the material in his fingers, then… he brought it to his nose, likely inhaling the scent of her. Her eyes widened slightly, it was… rather intimate to witness and had she been the same woman as she had been when last they had seen each other, she likely would have blushed and been utterly flustered. She knew better that this was not the time for such silliness. Eventually he looked back at her with a nod. She just smiled, glad to bring him some comfort, no matter how small.

"I want to heal you, Sire." She began, and Maul looked down, the light glinting off the metal of his legs. She pursed her lips, her gaze dropping down. Guilt began to burn at the back of her neck. "I… I'm sorry I could not protect you… it's the second time I have failed you." A black and red hand laid over her own, covering the tattooed lines on her skin. "I have a way to make you whole again… but first I need to heal your mind, sire." She explained, "I need to see your memories, I can help you put them back together."

"...how?" He whispers, his fingers tightening around her hand. She sat up straight, lowering her hand from his shoulder to the space between the two of them. She grasped his hands in hers and closed her eyes. She dove deep into the Force, the connection around them and the music surrounding them that only she could hear.

"Let go, let me in so that I can see." She told him in a whisper. He made a small sound, almost a whimper of fear and she squeezed his fingers gently. "You are safe, sire. Safe with me."

After a moment he reached out through the Force, letting go of the tight grip around his defenses. It wasn't much, just a small gap for her to reach forward and see into the swirling vortex that was his mind.

It was dark. So many memories in both of them began in the dark. The dim glow from beyond a viewport, the only light that broke the monotony of blackness. She could see flashes of orange, red… some kind of flame? She moved, though floating through the room, not really touching anything in the memory.

In the corner, a boy, the small zabrak child, just as she saw him in her own memories except… he seemed much smaller. Had he always been so small then? Or perhaps she was just as small as he was. The boy trembled in the shadows, just as he had done in the Nightsister temple moments ago. Behind them was a loud buzzing. Zaiya whipped around, only to see the door open, a soft gasp escaped her as the boy moved past her almost robotically. In his hand- the pendant. Her own hand went to her chest where hers lay, as she watched him hide the item in his tattered shirt.

She followed him as he moved down the hall, she could feel the uncomfortable heat, the metal floors… everything in this vile place set her teeth on edge and she longed desperately to get him out of there. She knew she could not. She knew it had already happened… but seeing the dire state of this place after she had failed to save him from that foul and wicked creature that dare called itself 'Master'. She took a breath as a door at the end of the hall opened. She could not let her feelings cloud this moment, this was for him, to heal, to be well again. This was not about her failures… even if she felt responsible for it.

The room he entered was large, a wide open space, lines marked in the floor where she could assume that obstacles could be pushed up through the floor or blasters raised like the training rooms she had seen before, though this seems strangely more sophisticated that the one she saw on Zygerria. They looked closer to the ones she had seen on Kamino. There were weapons arranged and hung on the walls in various formations, most too large for his small size. In the centre stood a droid, though not the droid Sixy that she knew, it was a strange spider-like droid with bulbous lenses for eyes it tapped on the floor as it turned to face Maul. The boy took a simple staff from the wall and moved to face the droid.

[We will begin with the standard program number 27.] The droid spoke in it's buzzing artificial voice. [Are you ready?] She witnessed Maul nod and step into a defensive stance. Zaiya could barely stand to watch, her teeth grit, a tight expression across her face as she had to watch the droid spin, strike and leap toward her friend. One hand raised to cover her mouth, though she knew she could not be seen or heard, she still had to force herself to keep quiet, lest she lose herself to the memory completely.

The droid was fast, faster than the boy and after a short fight the zabrak child was flung against the far wall hard enough to make Zaiya cry out in sympathetic pain. She took a step forward but stopped herself. Maul grunted, sitting up and clutching his side, his little face contorted in pain. The droid stopped in place and tapped over to him. She became aware that it was eerily similar to the legs he himself had sported in that forsaken cave. Was that a conscious choice?

[It appears you are injured.] The droid stated bluntly. [That was… accidental.] For a moment the droid sounded almost apologetic. Maul looked up at the droid with a wary curiosity as it began to collect items from a panel in the wall she had not seen. With awkward movements, the droid began to attempt to heal him, bacta and bandages to soothe the pain and treat the wound, though from her guess it was internal.

"Thanks, TD-D9." The child replied with a nod.

[You may refer to me as Deenine.] the droid was almost… friendly. [I will catalogue your response time to avoid future injury.]

"...she would have made it…" Her head tilted as she heard the mumbled confession. What did he mean?

[Who do you speak of?] The droid asked.

"My-my friend. She's really fast, and-" He clammed up again, looking away. "I miss her." His voice was so soft, she could almost feel her hearts break, moving to kneel before him, even though he could not see her.

[You should forget her.] The droid responded after a long moment.

"What?! I can't do that!" Maul cried indignantly. "I am growing stronger! Master Sidious says I will become powerful-I promised…"

[You wish to grow powerful to protect your friend?] Deenine asked, cutting to the point.

"Yes."

[The best way to protect your friend. Is to forget her.] Suddenly things were making a little more sense to her.

"But… how?"

[Master cannot use her to hurt you. Nor can he hurt her if you do not know her.] The droid sounded… sad. She looked at it's faceplate carefully, almost sure she could see an expression. Or perhaps it was just the lens of the memory making it seem that way.

"So… if I forget, then she will be safe?" Maul asked, so clever, already beginning to understand the strange request.

[Yes.]

He looked down at his hands, as he pulled the pendant out, the gold glinting in the light.

"It's alright my Prince…" Zaiya whispered. Maul looked up. He looked right at her. "I will still fight for you. It's alright to forget me, you will grow strong and I will find you." Tears formed in her eyes but she blinked them back, He stared at her with big eyes, a soft blue grey just like his brothers. They weren't gold yet.

"I'll miss you…" He whispered, tears welled in his own eyes.

"No, you won't." She smiled. "But that's alright, you are so strong, you can do anything." She reached out and was sure she could feel his warm cheek under her palm. "I'll be there when you're ready." She let out a soft laugh, but the tears that threatened to spill belied the sound. The boy looked up at the droid.

"I'll do it."

The scene faded in her mind and when her eyes opened, her hand was indeed resting on the grown Zabrak's cheek. He had leaned into the touch and she felt her hearts ache once more. It was… It was beautiful. But it wasn't who he was. At least, not how she had ever known him. She was also sure if he found out she had let anyone see him like this he would be furious. Zaiya swore to herself, as she brushed a tear away from his cheek that she would do whatever it took.

That last vision, where he had looked to her, she was sure it was just his current consciousness bleeding through the memory, she knew she could not affect memories like that.

She withdrew her hand slowly and his head moved to follow for a moment, she wiped her eyes of the unshed tears and offered a smile. It felt strange, to be without gloves, at least, her right hand did, it seemed he had not been able to get to the other hand while she'd slept. What he found interesting about them, she had no idea. Ugly, scarred and marked things, just another reminder of the Nightsisters, the cruelty they inflicted and… and the things she had done under the power of D'Sarr. She had been a weapon, not unlike the way Maul had been an assassin for Sidious, and these monstrous hands had hurt so many. She felt unworthy to even touch him with them, for this small amount of comfort. Though this wasn't about what she wanted right now.

The food was ready for them both and once she had taken the heated bowl and mixed the broth and meat about, served it with a dense and dark slice of bread. It was partly blood based, so they could eat it without upsetting their stomachs at least. She'd also managed to grab a bottle of a special mixture she quite enjoyed, a spicy sauce that added flavourful heat. She ate it with nearly everything and was half tempted to take some with her if she had to leave again. Most food in the galaxy was so bland in comparison. As she recalled, he liked it too. Sure enough, he reached out and grasped the bottle gently, looking it over.

"It's scol'ye." She told him, "Do you remember? We used to eat it all the time, you said it was your favourite." Maul poured a little on the bread and hesitantly brought it to his mouth. After a small bite his expression changed and his eyes lit up. He nodded and added more of it to his meal.

"I remember." He spoke quietly, almost a whisper, the corners of his mouth tugged upward slightly.

"Well you get to eat as much as you want now." She told him, "I will get you more if you want it."

"I can… have more?" His eyes widened.

"Of course, anything you want, my Prince, I will provide." She nodded and his expression softened. After a moment he began to eat. She watched for a while, she was not a fan watching others eat, the sound usually made her cringe, but seeing him being able to eat his fill was heartwarming, and she put one of the extra portions above the fire to warm up. "Anything at all…"


Notes:

So now we know, he forced himself to forget it! One mystery definitively solved! Delving into memories and healing his mind the slow way... let's hope Talzin doesn't mess with it! Poor Maul is pretty shy atm, he is being all cute and adorable and he will haaaate it one he is back to normal. If you saw him being cute, no you didn't!

But my friends! Ohhhh I am excited! 'Home' is the next chapter is my FAVOURITE chapter so far, especially part 2. I am excited, part one will have some angst and sadness... but part 2 is fluffy af and Mando Dad makes an appearance! It is also super long. So look forward to part 1 next week!

Once again I ask, pretty please send likes and comments my way, I love love love them! It makes me giggle like a small child to read them! 3