Amends - Part 1

Meditation did not come easy, lately. She found herself distracted more than once by the events of the last month or so. This war the Jedi had started, the shadows she sensed behind it, the ones she cared for in danger, meetings with Jedi when she needed to be undercover, the revelation that she had been harming the soldiers - her brothers. Not that they thought of in kind, but still. Then of course that last meditation session with Maul. It took every bit of her strength to keep him in the meditative state, and ensure he not break from the tank. Lucky enough that Kenobi was not on Kamino at the time. The only reason she wished to keep him calm was so that he did not undo the healing that had already begun for him. He still had a long way to go.

Now of course she sat in her private chambers, mulling over everything in some kind of hope that she could make it all settle in her mind. Her sins weighed on her. Her foolishness for harming the troopers under her. Alpha was right of course, and she should let it go; but it was not so easy. Perhaps to torture herself she had looked into Wolffe's claims, seen the medical files. It was not just that she had exhausted them, no, if the Kaminoans thought these troopers inadequate, her training could very well have had many of them decommissioned! It was a biting at her hearts that kept her distracted. Worse still, it was her own voice that had caused Maul to be distracted and led to his fall. How he didn't blame her, she had no idea. Perhaps he should. Hate her as much as he hated Kenobi for doing it. She was sure, had she not distracted him that he would have finished the Jedi off. He would have stopped his gloating and returned to his mission. Yes. Yes he would have. Of course he would have. Though the voice in her mind, that one that hissed like a serpent told her it was inevitable. That Maul was foolish, arrogant… and that the Jedi did him a favour. She stamped that thought down as soon as it surfaced, but too late. It was there. Were it not for the Jedi, as she had already told Maul, he would be in service to Sidious still. She hated that thought. And herself for thinking it. She couldn't bear it. She needed a distraction.

The Nightsister threw a set of casual clothes on; a top of lightweight black fabric that fastened high at the neck and hung loosely from pleats around the neckline. It had bishop sleeves which tucked neatly into her usual black gloves. Her jodhpur-style trousers were high waisted, also black, fitted her form well and they too were tucked, but into her knee-high boots. A wide cincher-style belt with red embroidered detailing sat over the point where the shirt and trousers met, giving a slight splash of signature crimson. It was not a usual attire for her, and while not her stronger leather armour, she still cut an elegant figure as she deemed a walk of the city a needed reprieve from her current ruminations.

Her boots tapped on the cold stark white floors as she made her way slowly around the facility. Many of the men were either in the mess or resting, so there was little distraction for her that evening. She wondered if she ought to go back to retrieve her pistols for some target practice when a voice interrupted her train of thought.

"Ma'am?" Zaiya paused in step and turned her head to the sound. In the doorway stood Rex, he looked like he had just stepped out, the warm light from what she realised were the officer's barracks behind him. She hadn't even realised where she'd walked, how careless.

"Rex," she said with a graceful nod.

"Oh, should I call you Lieutenant-General now?" he asked. She blinked before she remembered what he referred to. Before she'd been to see Maul, the Jedi Shaak Ti had sent out a missive officially stating that Zaiya was now Lieutenant-General Siren of the Grand Army of the Republic and all matters of training were to be her responsibility. It was mostly administrative and they didn't expect her to join the war itself, but on Kamino the title held weight. She now had a far bigger job than anticipated, but it also meant that she was second to Shaak-Ti in this matter, and Jeru Ti would not be able to make drastic changes without her approval. It was rather heartwarming, really.

"Rather a mouthful, isn't it?" she chuckled with a small smile. Rex rubbed the back of his neck a little awkwardly.

"I thought you might be celebrating," he shrugged.

"What? By myself?" she laughed softly. He seemed a little embarrassed then, as though he hadn't considered it. "I'd have a drink were I permitted to have brought my favoured Corelian whiskey," she replied with a smirk, "maybe I'd be generous and share." A rather funny expression crossed Rex's face then and the corners of her mouth tilted ever so slightly upward. He looked guilty. She looked him over, this time more carefully, he was dressed down, in the looser fitted clothing standard to most of the clones here on Kamino, but his eyes were a little glassy and his face was a little flushed. These cheeky, clever clones. "Ahh," she said in realisation and Rex's eyes widened, "I see I have interrupted." His eyes darted back and forth worriedly.

"Are… are you going to tell the Kaminoans? Or the Jedi?" he asked nervously. She let out a laugh.

"Why would I do that?" she grinned, "you boys earned it, don't let me take away from your evening." She smiled warmly and moved to turn away when he spoke again.

"Uh- Ma'am-uh, Lieutenant-General… I mean…" she turned back, Rex was usually quiet, well-spoken, though she'd not had many casual chats with him before so his more relaxed demeanour was not something she could judge. Seeing him a little flustered was rather endearing though. "Did… you want to join us?" he blurted out, then looked worried that he'd spoken at all. Well. This was rather unexpected. She was rather curious as to what they were drinking, it would have to have been made by one of them, there would have been no way to smuggle something onto Kamino surely.

"Are you sure your brothers won't mind?" she asked with a tilt of her head.

"No, no it should be fine," he insisted and she approached the door. She wasn't sure she believed him on that matter, but she entered the barracks with him anyway.

The scene was something she was sure she would not soon forget. Cody, Bly, Ponds and Fox appeared to be arguing over a game of Sabacc, the latter gesturing wildly and talking loudly. He also had one of the cards stuck to his forehead. Bacara and Gree were arm wrestling, with Appo and Oddball taking bets from anyone watching. Blitz, Blackout and Neyo were measuring out small measures of some clear liquid into what looked like shot glasses. At the back with a bottle was none other than Jax, Colt and Havoc. They were loud, somewhat dishevelled and just so relaxed. She stood there for a moment, arms folded as she looked them over, a relatively stern expression on her face. Havoc spotted her first and she watched the colour drain from his face. Slowly the room came to a dead silence as they all looked up to see her. None of them moved. After an almost painful length of time her eyes looked back to Havoc who swallowed heavily.

"Are you pouring me one too, or what?" she asked and instantly the atmosphere in the room lifted and a cheer went up from the men around her. Her stern expression broke into a bright grin and she laughed. Havoc bounded over, managing not to spill and handed her the little glass. She eyed it suspiciously. "Do I want to know what's in it?" she asked. Havoc scoffed.

"Not in the slightest," he grinned, he seemed more relaxed than she'd ever seen him. With a shrug, she took the little glass from his big warm hand, and downed the thing in about two seconds flat. It barely touched her tongue but it burned and it was sour and bitter and entirely unpleasant. Her face barely changed, the room gone quiet again to wait for her verdict. She looked back to Havoc, "osik, that was bloody awful," she managed, but held out the glass to him again, "I'll have another, if you please." Again the room was filled with cheers and she chuckled. "If this new rank has such perks, remind me to put in a requisition order for a real drink,"

"Does that mean you'll share?" Havoc asked, his eyes bright.

"I might," she replied, "can't be worse for you than this," she gestured to the new glass passed over by Jax.

"Hm… good point," he scratched his chin, a wide toothy grin crossing his face, "I didn't know you could be fun."

"Verd'ika, you have no idea," she chuckled and took another drink. This time she made a face, "nope, I thought the first might have taken the edge off but that is damn foul…" Havoc was looking at her funny, was it the face she made? Maybe seeing her off duty was a surprise.

"What in the shab?!" The gruff voice cut through the air and the group looked up to see Alpha staring at them with unhidden anger.

"Captain," she greeted, but he didn't look amused and let out a few more curses in Mando'a.

"Are you all insane?! This will have the Kaminii up your shebs faster than a fired shot… We could all be decommissioned!"

"Not if you stop shouting," Zaiya replied calmly. She saw it then, the fear in his face, that his brothers were in danger, and rage that he thought she didn't care.

"And you!" he snarled at her, "all that osik about wanting us to survive?!" He looked about ready to clock her one.

"I am glad you mentioned that, actually," she waved the empty shot glass before him, "I am terribly sorry you weren't informed of our exercise," she began and his brow twitched the way it seemed to everytime she had a 'clever' idea.

"What are you talking about?" he asked warily.

"This," she gestured to the room, "is an experiment. For the fortitude of the men, we need to know how they handle toxic substances. I have determined that the substance - while disgusting - is non- lethal in these quantities, and therefore perfect to test the men's resilience." She smiled at him and his brow furrowed.

"You expect me to believe that?" he asked.

"No, but if one of the Kaminii decide to be nosy, that is the official stance I will take,"

"They won't believe it,"

"I don't care. I'm a Lieutenant-General now. So if they don't like it, they can lo'shebs'ul narit." Alpha's face began to relax.

"So your first act and Lieutenant-General is to break the rules?" Alpha asked, tilting his head slightly. Zaiya paused and raised a brow.

"Hm… yeah, looks that way," she shrugged, "If it means you all can have a little fun? Why not?" Alpha's shoulders relaxed a little, and the tension and fear seemed to leave the room. "My second act is to order you around, ARC Captain," she gestured a little 'come here' motion with her forefinger, and reached back for another shot. It was passed up and she held it out to him, "now drink," she encouraged. Alpha let out a heavy sigh, and shook his head.

"Rangir…" he muttered and downed the shot in a similar manner that she had, a moment later he winced, "osik, you're right that is downright pirimpir…" Cheers went up once more and the relaxed atmosphere took over.

Things seemed to go rather smoothly from there, and the soldiers seemed to accept her a little easier after last time. The drink - as awful as it tasted - seemed to loosen them up enough to ask her more questions, and after a few drinks of her own, she seemed more willing to answer them.

She talked about running with pirates, learning the bounty hunting trade, a little about Dathomir, some of the flora and fauna that could be found there and the like. There were some things she couldn't answer of course, and the clones seemed respectful of that at least. They seemed interested in a few of her explanations of the world outside Kamino, little things and Zaiya had the urge to take them all to a fancy dinner and let them live the good life, even if only for a while.

There was just too much they missed out on and the Nightsister found herself in a softer mood than she had been in a long time. It was almost like being around the Nightbrothers again, though these men were not inherently afraid of her. She was glad for that, at least. She had to wonder when they would start asking her more personal questions.