Downtime - Part 2
She recalled the same feeling when Boba had done this but Hardcase of course was significantly bigger than the boy. Her arms hovered in the air for a moment before she forced herself to relax and lower one hand to rest on his arm across her chest and the other gently patted his back.
He was very warm, even through the fabric of the cadet uniform and seemed much larger than her all of a sudden. He was firm and very strong, she realised. She also realised she couldn't remember the last time she'd had a hug from anyone … it had to be Adaji. She remembered thinking a while ago she regretted not giving out more hugs but… it just felt like such an odd thing for her to do. That being said… she did not mind such an embrace. He lingered for a moment longer, his face close to her ear.
"You alright there, Hardcase?" she asked softly.
"You… you're just… you're so good to us," he whispered in a ragged tone. Was- was he crying? Her eyes widened and he just held on a little tighter. She petted his back hesitantly and her eyes drifted to the others, a wide-eyed expression on her face. Ninety-Nine had a hand over his mouth and was struggling not to laugh. Tup had a tiny smile on his face and Soul had the biggest tooka eyes she'd ever seen on a human. Dogma however looked like he was about to faint.
"H-Hardcase! You can't…! She's the Lieutenant-General!" Dogma sputtered. That seemed to get to him and Hardcase pulled back a little, then he realised his hands were on her waist and quickly let go.
"Better?" she asked, and he nodded, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully.
"Y-yeah, sorry about that… I just… the others, and even the brothers that have deployed… people don't treat us like you do," he finally looked at her.
"Well I cannot speak for others," she frowned, unable to hide the distaste in her voice.
"Wow… I feel… you-you give really good hugs, has anyone ever told you that?" Hardcase grinned, he looked rather energised now.
"...Hm… not really, I don't-" she glanced to the side and cleared her throat. "It doesn't happen often," she explained and shifted awkwardly.
"Well I'm fixing that!" Hardcase announced and she looked up sharply as he strode over and dragged Tup by the collar, practically shoving him in her direction. "Hugs! Right now!"
Was he serious? She was his Lieutenant-General. She was a Nightsister and Right Hand to a former Sith! And-and she was having soldiers flung at her to embrace them? It felt weird, awkward and - then she realised if it was Feral or Savage she would not hesitate.
"Well I suppose if we are testing Hardcase's theory…" she muttered with a sigh and a closed smile. What could it hurt? Tup was hesitant and leaned forward, but as she carefully wrapped her arms around his shoulders, he sagged and leaned into her a little. He didn't linger as long as Hardcase but he seemed to enjoy the moment, from the smile on his face when he stepped back. Soul was next and ducked his head as he extended his arms. The whole scenario was so strange and certainly not what she thought she would be doing this morning. Soul was a little more slender than his brothers, leaner and he fit in her arms much the same way Feral did. There was much about him that reminded her of Feral, she wondered if he was just as mischievous too. She chuckled at the look on his face once he pulled back, he seemed to be a little flushed.
"Hardcase was right…" he mumbled and finally Dogma stood there, wide eyed and rigid.
"I…this isn't… I'm sorry-" Zaiya waved a hand and chuckled.
"It's alright, Dogma, permission granted," she told him and he very hesitantly drew in. He was stiff and awkward but she could not blame him. She patted his back gently and honest to Goddess she heard the tiniest whimper in her ear. "It's alright, Dogma…" she whispered so the others couldn't hear. He squeezed her tighter and she smiled.
"You… you smell really good…" he managed as he seemed to pry himself away with great difficulty.
"Do I?" she asked, her head tilted slightly. He nodded but couldn't meet her eyes, he looked so flustered… they all did. Hardcase was beaming.
"I told ya!" he grinned, "but what about Ninety-Nine…?" Zaiya turned to look down at the hunched clone and smiled.
"If he would like one…?" she offered and if it were possible, his smile became wider.
"I would be honoured, Lady Siren," he said fondly. He was not shy and as she leaned down, he wrapped her in a hug just as comfortingly warm as his eyes.
"The honour is mine, Ninety-Nine," she replied and after a moment they parted. She felt a little invigorated now and Hardcase looked as if he were ready to float into the air. "Does that satisfy your curiosity?" she asked with a half-smile.
"Yeah! And if you ever want another-" he held out his arms and grinned, the look in his eye becoming more mischievous. "I could always satisfy your curiosity…" She levelled him with a flat stare, her brow rising. Did he really…?
"Hardcase!" Dogma snapped. He looked annoyed and she decided it was getting a little silly now. Hardcase must definitely be bold if he was saying such ridiculousness and messing with her.
"Right, you boys have places to be and I need Ninety-Nine's help with something so…" she gestured toward her office door, the baby batch seemed to be hesitant but Dogma was quick to usher his brothers away and saluted her. Zaiya returned with her Nightsister greeting and watched them as they departed, Hardcase looking back with a grin before the door closed.
"I don't know where they get the energy," she chuckled and looked back to the hunched clone, moving to sit on the arm of the chair again to be more at his level. "They're out of their barracks…?" she asked, in reference to their covert mission.
"Yes, they have shooting practice with one of the other trainers, they were pretty upset it wasn't with you though," Ninety-Nine smiled. "Did you get them finished?"
"I did, here…" she stood again and went to one of the drawers in her desk, she took out some fabric items then placed them on the table before her, letting him see. There were a few squares of red cloth cut, embroidered with the letter 'T' and the edges hemmed. Then there was a necklace, painstakingly woven from similar red threads, wrapped around a bullet, the construction was called a bantha tooth. The next items were a couple of loops of the same red fabric, plainly made but useful for the purpose in which they were designed. The last was a black and red plush figure, floppy arms, legs and long ears, mostly black, made of a discarded body glove and the same red fabric on the tips of each limb.
"You think it will help him sleep?" she asked, picking up the thing that was meant to be a tooka.
"I think so, he used t' have another one I made him, though it was all black, and my stitching wasn' so neat," Ninety Nine chuckled and held his hand out. Zaiya handed over the doll into his large hands, the kind-eyed clone regarded it with fondness.
"What happened to it?" she asked, though she was sure she knew. Ninety Nine's face became a little sadder.
"The Kaminoans didn't think it was necessary for a soldier… the one called Jeru-Ti had it destroyed." Zaiya's brow dipped into a scowl. She knew there was a reason she disliked that one.
"Well he can't get rid of this one, or else I will have many things to say," she growled and ensured that Ninety-Nine had all the items in hand and concealed in a case she had procured for this reason. It was meant to be a surprise after all. "I will head to the range and keep them busy, if you take them and put the things on the boys' bunks, then they will discover them when they return." she smiled, liking the sound of this plan.
"You don't want to give them to the boys yourself? I know Crosshair will really like this gift of yours, he seems quite taken with you," Ninety Nine asked and Zaiya tilted her head, leaning back slightly.
What was he talking about? Her eyes narrowed.
"You shouldn't tease my delicate hearts like that, Ninety Nine," she scoffed, a smirk playing on her lips. "And as much as I would like to see their faces when they receive their gifts, it's not about that." She shook her head and stepped back, gesturing to the door, "shall we?"
"Ladies first," Ninety Nine gave a gesture of his own and Zaiya gave a little bow, lifting the now far shorter hem of her crimson sash as though she were lifting a skirt to curtsey. The clone seemed to find it very amusing and walked beside her as they ventured down the corridor. They parted ways at a junction and she promised to keep the targets of their little surprise occupied while Ninety Nine placed the items.
The firing range was thankfully not too busy and as usual, Crosshair was destroying his brothers in terms of points. She strolled in casually, regarding them with interest as she watched them practise, at one point Hunter threw a knife and Crosshair shot it out of the air. Their own cheers dulled when it hit the target, but only when they were aware of her presence. She applauded, clapping one hand on the back of the other, a wide smile on her face.
"Very clever," she began but was suddenly yanked off her feet in a crushing hug by the taller of the four brothers.
"Siren!" Wrecker beamed.
"Hey… Tiny…" she squeaked and chuckled as he nuzzled her shoulder. "Not like you didn't see me yesterday," she laughed breathlessly.
"Aw I know…" he grinned.
"Put her down, Wrecker," Crosshair hissed, stalking over. She assumed he was displeased with Wrecker embarrassing him by proxy, though she could see how Ninety Nine could have mistaken it for affection.
"Seems to be the day for hugs today," she muttered as the big clone gently set her back down.
"Whaddya mean?" Wrecker asked.
"Oh, some of the other clones deemed it necessary to give me a dose of 'hug therapy'," she chuckled.
"Pft… the regs thought they could-" Cross began but cut himself off and looked away. Since when had he cared for breaches of protocol?
"Were they better than my hugs?" Wrecker asked earnestly and Zaiya brought a hand to her chin in thought.
"Hmmmmm…" she gave a melodramatic look and stroke to her chin as if it were difficult to decide. Wrecker's shoulders slumped and he looked at her with big dejected eyes. "I don't think there is anyone that gives hugs quite like you, Wrecker," she finally admitted and the change was immediate. His posture straightened and his face brightened. "They claimed to be testing my own capabilities but perhaps it was just the ridiculousness of the moment," she shrugged. Wrecker's eyes lit up like he'd had an idea but Crosshair interrupted.
"Your sash is different," he stated suddenly, his eyes narrow. Oh he was too perceptive for his own good.
"Is it?" she asked dismissively.
"It used to reach past your hand, now it's only to the wrist." He gestured to her left side and she had to force herself not to physically react more than a glance downward.
"How interesting," she muttered. "You've caught me, I have two, the other had gotten stained and needed laundering." She met his eyes as she spoke calmly but Crosshair eyed her with suspicion. "How observant of you," she said, enunciating the 't'.
"It's my job to be," he retorted, flatly.
"Speaking of which, why don't you show me some of your fancy new moves?" she asked with a half-smile. They always seemed to enjoy showing off a little, and she didn't want them to think too hard about it.
The training session went well enough, and as always, Ver'alor Siren seemed pleased with their progress. Perhaps she was too free with her praise… but Crosshair couldn't help it. It felt good to hear it. The strange warm feeling when she called him 'perfect'.
From the moment she'd appeared in their barracks in that cloak almost a year ago, he'd been curious about her. Then she showed up again a few months ago, and shot that toothpick into the target. He couldn't explain the sudden rush of heat when he'd seen it. She was so different from the clones, the Kaminoans, then the war began and all these strange beings came to Kamino, yet she still seemed different. She was unafraid, accommodating, thoughtful… elegant.
Always in control.
The idea of her being touched and embraced by the regs made his blood boil, he didn't know why he felt so angry, why he wanted to find out which of them it was and hurt them. It was bad enough that Wrecker had to jump all over her… and seeing the bruises on her arms from the larger clone's punches had infuriated Crosshair.
Though, that day… Seeing her in that state, wild, bloody, fierce. He'd never been able to forget it. He'd always seen her so calm, as she was now, but that night she had practically been feral… why had he liked it so much?
He didn't understand it.
He also didn't understand why he craved her praise so much. It was stupid. He didn't need her approval. He was a soldier, he was engineered to be far superior than any regular clone. She was his trainer, so maybe technically her approval was needed. But she wasn't one of his brothers. It wasn't the same. So why did his chest feel tight when she looked at him like that? With that small smile and warmth in her good eye. Even her green eye seemed welcoming when she looked at him.
He and his brothers were dismissed and Crosshair felt his feet were like lead, and he lingered in the hallway, turning back to watch Siren walk closer. The way she moved, the flutter of the sash she wore, the regal stance and her warrior braid… her eyes flicked to his and he fought not to look away.
"Everything alright, Crosshair…?" she asked in that voice that made him want to shiver. She stopped close and he could smell her perfume. Damn it. He'd never been drunk before but he had to wonder if this was what it felt like. He felt lightheaded and his mouth was dry.
"Fine," he snapped. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be stupid. And oh he knew how stupid he was being.
"Of course you are, I don't think anything could ruffle you." Was she mocking him? She had to know what she was doing to him… was it on purpose? Her gloved hand petted his pauldron and he felt her finger brush his neck.
He took in a sharp breath. The contact bolted through him like a shock up his spine. What the kark was wrong with him? Perhaps he should ask Tech, he didn't trust the Kaminoans or their stupid droids. He only trusted his brothers.
He must have tensed or his face changed as her brows furrowed slightly and she slowly removed her hand. She seemed to school herself into a more professional manner and he steeled himself too.
"M' fine," he repeated, quieter.
"I know," she replied, "still, a rest cannot hurt, right?" Her voice was so soft, uncharacteristic of her usual cadence. Was she worried about him? Meanwhile all Crosshair could do was nod. After she departed, he stood there for the longest time, willing himself to move.
To do something.
Eventually of course he must have, as Wreckers shouts permeated the fog of his mind. He had reached their barracks to see his brothers exclaiming over something. To his surprise he noticed Wrecker had a hold of that stuffed toy. Crosshair hadn't seen it for ages, -hadn't it been taken by the Kaminoans?
"Lula!" He boomed and held the little stuffed toy tooka aloft. "And you got fixed!" Wrecker held the tiny red paws between his almost comically large fingers.
Wait… red? The previous one didn't have red fabric.
"Look, Cross," Hunter spoke up and held up a piece of red fabric himself, a loop of scarlet which Cross wasn't sure what it was until Hunter put it on his head. A headband…? "There's something sewn into it… I don't know what but… I was starting to get another headache and now it's gone!" Hunter seemed happier and more relaxed than Crosshair had seen him in a long time. Crosshair turned to his last brother, curious.
"Did you get something Tech?" he asked, trying to sound disinterested.
"Indeed," Tech turned, pushed his goggles up his nose and held out a small scrap of fabric. Crosshair frowned slightly, just that? "It is for cleaning my goggles and screens!" he smiled, "very useful."
It was just like him; Tech always had preferred more practical things. It seemed that the gift-giver had been very thoughtful with each one of their little presents.
He usually would not have asked about it, or cared too much. All of this to drag his feet over to his own bed - he was hesitating. Part of him was fearful. What if he didn't have anything?
Or worse, what if he did? He'd put together where these little gifts had come from, the observation earlier of the shorter sash and the evasive answer she'd given when he'd mentioned it more or less confirmed it. Was that why she'd insisted on lingering after the training session?
Sure enough, there was a glimpse of crimson on his sheets and he reached down to pick up the item. He brought it close and he realised the red was not just scraps of fabric, but threads, the fabric unwoven meticulously, then rewoven into long strands to be braided together into a cord. That cord passed through a hole carved into a bullet, from an old fashioned slugthrower.
A Bantha's Tooth. Crosshair had read about them, it was a sniper's token in other places of the galaxy. The GAR sniper held it delicately in his hands, almost as though it were sacred. As he brought it closer to his face, he could smell her perfume on the threads, his chest ached and he brought the necklace to his lips, and kissed the fabric softly. He didn't even know why, it just felt right.
"What did you get, Cross?" Wrecker asked, always so nosey. Crosshair quickly put it on and tucked it under his body glove.
"None of your business," he grumbled. He knew Wrecker would pester him about it for a while, too insatiably curious.
Though he didn't care. He wanted to keep this to himself for a while, to just have something to himself. Something she had given him. His hand lingered over the place where it hung around his neck. He'd never been given anything before. Perhaps he never needed to be given anything else. This was enough. And yet he knew he was greedy, wanting more.
notes:
Hello my lovelies!
I hope you are doing well, some more fluff this week so if you have picked up on the pattern you know that I will be bringing the angst again soon.
In next week's chapter, Consequences, Zaiya has to come to terms with repercussions of actions taken, and not taken. That will make sense next time.
As for me, thank you for the well wishes last week, I appreciate all of you and all of your kind comments and gifts! I got some amazing fanart and a wonderful fanfic OF THIS SERIES. I am blown away.
This week is a little hectic too, unfortunately and I am actually moving this week, come Friday I will be relocating to an apartment and hopefully things will be less stressful there.
Anyway, I hope you are all well and enjoyed this chapter, I love the comments, I love seeing the feedback, I love all of you! Thank you thank you!
I shall see you all next week!
