Consequences - Part 2
Jabim.
If she ever found herself on that accursed planet, she was going to burn it. More than it already was. No, it wasn't even the campaign… It was Ventress.
Asajj Ventress.
Zaiya had the chance to kill her on that scrapyard of a space station months ago. And yet… Meditation had done little to ease her anxieties. The moment she'd heard Alpha had been presumed dead she had felt utterly sick. This was worse than when she'd heard what the Malevolence had done to the 104th…
The reports had said Alpha was dead along with Kenobi.
When she'd found out what had really happened though… Captured by the other Nightsister, tortured for days and Alpha… left covered in wounds from the slow drag of a knife. It was said even Kenobi looked harrowed after their miraculous escape.
Perhaps it would have been better if he had perished. Zaiya felt so ill she'd had to take out her rage on a few training droids… there was no fixing them once she was done. She felt so useless. Her friend was out there and tortured and here she was just doing nothing and lying to him and his brothers about why she was here. Worse still… had she not been so sentimental to a Nightsister that was not even a Nightsister… none of this would have happened.
Zaiya had been able to do nothing but hear from Rex how the 501st and 212th had fought with Alpha and had to leave him behind, presuming him dead without proof. Both he and the Jedi Kenobi. The seething rage on hearing that had made it so hard for her to listen to Rex talk about the other Jedi… apparently he too was appropriately angry… unlike the other Jedi.
It was hardly a consolation prize.
In a powerful moment, Alpha and Kenobi had proved their mettle in escaping a dungeon where Ventress had tortured them both. Zaiya was of course impressed, especially after learning Alpha had done it all in essentially his underwear. It was so like him. She was both proud of him and so utterly heartbroken. She'd just received word that Alpha was headed back to Kamino, and she had put in a request for him to join her, he did not need to be subjected to more torture… and who else would be better to carry on her training after she had to leave? Perhaps it was selfish, perhaps it was a weakness… but she wanted to protect her friend.
If only… if only she had struck Ventress down then. If she had just killed Asajj… But no, she'd recognised a Nightsister and her own emotions had gotten the better of her.
Again.
Perhaps the Jedi were right to just be rid of them entirely. To feel nothing. Wouldn't that make everything so much easier? To feel nothing at all. The waiting was the worst, just having to be patient until Alpha touched down on the platform.
Zaiya made her way to the hangar, her mind spinning as she tried not to think about all the mistakes she'd made, she tried a new tactic instead. She was going to keep her hands busy with the ships and making improvements to the shuttle she'd been given since her last one… well.
She figured focusing on something physical to keep her mind focused on that rather than her own feelings would ease the tension building in the back of her head.
However.
Things didn't quite go to plan. As soon as she entered there was some kind of look that passed over the faces of several clones and she knew something was up. Of course, it didn't take long to discover and as she passed one of the larger shuttles, she spotted a few clones gathered around one of the smaller ships and looking at-
"Is that what I think it is?" she asked loudly and several of the clones jumped a foot in the air and spun around to face her. Many of them froze as she tilted her head in mild confusion.
There was a painted depiction of a woman, she straddled a projectile by the look of it and she was clad rather scantily in a red outfit that looked something that might suit an exotic dancer. She was pale, curvaceous and had markings on her skin and a mane of impossibly long white hair. Her face held a smiling expression and one eye winking while the other looked ahead. She didn't really see the similarity but she could put together who it was supposed to be. Even if it was a little… hm… provocative. She could only imagine they were making a joke.
"The tattoos are all wrong," she muttered with a slight frown.
"You're not angry…?" asked one trooper she recognised to be Tup. Her brow rose.
"If you thought I would be angry, why did you make it?" She raised a brow and Tup held up his hands in surrender.
"I- I didn't paint it!" he stuttered, his eyes darted around wildly. "The others said they were hoping you wouldn't see it…" he glanced around but Zaiya laughed softly.
"Oh my dear Tup, one of the first rules of dealing with me. Assume I know everything," she chuckled smugly.
Suddenly there were shouts of an incoming ship and Zaiya looked up, there wasn't one due for… Her breath hitched. Was it early? Her hearts began to hammer in her chest as she moved over to the landing ship. Zaiya folded her arms in an effort to hide her own nerves. How bad was it going to be? Surely they'd have put him in a bacta tank to assist with the healing process?
The ship landed and she waited. The engine shut off. The steam hissed from the depressurisation. The ramp extended. Zaiya was probably going to leave bruises along her arms for the way she dug her fingers into them.
The moment she saw him take a shaky step almost limping down the ramp, all the tension left her and she felt a black hole open up in her gut. Healing cuts littered his face, he walked with a slight limp, she could only imagine what the rest of him would look like under the armour. He was always such a big, strong, broad figure. He looked- well if she were honest he looked tired. Just so tired. Fury burned in her chest, fighting with the emptiness and she stepped forward, before even realising it.
"Ver'a-" he began in surprise but she cut him off, wrapping her arms around his neck. He was silent for a moment, before his hand slowly came down to rest on her back.
"I should have killed her when I had the chance," Zaiya mumbled into his shoulder. Alpha stiffened under her hold and he pulled back.
"Don't you dare," he frowned, his dark eyes flashing. "C'mon, there's already enough di'kute staring at us like their eyes are about to fall out." She realised half the hangar had gone silent and she sighed, pulling away and stepping back.
"We can talk in my office, Captain," Zaiya said solemnly and began to walk with him. His pace was not as brisk as it had once been and she forced herself not to take his arm. She knew if she dared coddle him he might just try to duel her for his own honour.
He fixed her with a hard look when they entered, speaking before she'd even had a chance.
"I don't wanna hear your self-pity or your regrets," he told her firmly. "Whatever you did or didn't do, it's done. No point in lingering on it." Zaiya stared back at him for a moment.
"When did you get so wise?" she asked with a frown.
"I've always been wise, and you have always been too caught up in your regrets," Alpha replied and poked her in the chest with a thick finger. Zaiya looked back at him with a dramatic hand to the spot he'd just jabbed her, a scoff of mock outrage escaping her.
"Alpha 17, you wound me," but her mouth curled up at the edges. "I see your time away has made you bolder." She was certain he would not have been quite so familiar before he'd left. Alpha just rolled his eyes.
"According to the log I read, I am now your 2IC, is that right?" he asked, folding his bulky arms across his broad chest.
"Yes," she replied with a nod.
"If your second in command can't keep you grounded, who can?" He arched a brow at her. Her mouth opened, then closed again. Damn, he was right. She shook her head and made a hand gesture in his direction indicating he was correct.
"You had the others come back on recommendations too?" Alpha asked.
"Havoc and Colt are on their way back here as well, Fordo is working with Fox and the Corrie Guard, a couple of the other boys are implementing more of the training to other units. Who better to teach the rest of this army than you boys?" She smirked and Alpha's expression softened.
"You've got that right," he grinned. Zaiya let out a sigh and stepped over to him again, Alpha looked a little confused, but once again she swept him up in a hug. She had no idea when she'd become so emotional, but she felt that deep seated sense of doom in her chest ease a little as she listened to his heartbeat for a moment. Human hearts sounded so very different to that of a Zabrak, slower, and just one heart too. Yet she was reminded then that she was half human… however that translated into whatever she was. Perhaps it was part of the reason she felt such connection with the clones. The human connection, human emotions…
"You really have gotten soft as a wookie pelt, haven't you?" he chuckled and rested one hand on her back and the other on her head, his movements as stiff and awkward as she felt. Even then, it was warm and comforting. She entirely blamed Hardcase for this.
"Yeah well…maybe I missed you," she muttered with a frown. She felt him still for just a moment.
"Maybe I missed you too," he mumbled. She couldn't help the smile that crossed her face at that.
"The subject appears to have remarkable natural regeneration, he has taken very well to the process," Nala Se mused as she looked over her data pad. Zaiya's brow twitched and she turned her head away from Maul's resting face in his pod.
"He is not just a subject," she replied with a sneer. Nala Se did not reply, Zaiya's showing of emotions seemed to annoy the Kaminoan, but she didn't say anything. Zaiya's eyes returned to the tube, looking back up at Maul's face. He looked peaceful now, as she had entered he must have sensed her, as his scowl had eased.
He floated in the tank, his legs almost to the correct length and size, however they were far too skinny and lacking definition. They also lacked his markings, the red flesh seemed so odd in comparison to the tattooed skin above his scar. She'd managed to convince Nala Se to add a band across the front of the tank for the sake of his modesty. There was something about seeing him so vulnerable that seemed inappropriate and she did feel a little odd, it was intimate yet clinical and somewhat uncomfortable if she were honest.
It did give her great hope however; from what Nala Se said, things looked successful thus far. Zaiya felt impatient, she was both frustrated and relieved, it was taking too long, and yet considering they had only been here for less than a Galactic Standard year, it had barely taken any time at all.
"At what point will he be able to leave the tank and walk again?" Zaiya asked, once again turning her head to the glance over her shoulder.
"The muscle mass is not yet adequate enough to sustain weight, but once it is, there will need to be multiple tests to ensure everything has grown properly," Nala Se replied, and stepped closer to stand at Zaiya's shoulder. "There will also need to be significant rehabilitation to ensure the muscles are solid and can hold his weight, unlike natural growing limbs, these have not grown with his body to be weathered and strengthened by organic means," she explained. Zaiya bit her lip in thought. That seemed to be the trickiest aspect from her understanding. If his body rejected the new parts and his legs remained weak, then this entire endeavour would be a failure.
She could not allow that.
"Is there a way to allow for electric current stimulation in the muscles to strengthen them as they grow?" the Nightsister asked. Zaiya noticed Nala Se look at her from the corner of her eye.
"Yes, that is a possibility, and one I would suggest," she nodded with a slow sway of her long neck. "It would need to be implemented immediately as the muscle mass is steadily growing. It would not be as strong as naturally gained mass, but it should shorten the rehabilitation significantly."
"Then do it," Zaiya confirmed. Maul would wish to be back to full capacity as soon as possible, so she was sure of her decision.
"I will set up the program for intermittent shocks, they will not cause pain but should stimulate the muscles for proper growth." Nala Se began tapping away at her datapad, and Zaiya supposed it was connected to the tank to implement the program.
She was glad he would be sleeping for this, she doubted that he would enjoy this, what with his reaction to lightning already. She chewed her lower lip in thought, at least this would help. The Nightsister stepped back and moved to perch herself on the durasteel table opposite the large tank. It was her usual spot, the place where she would sit and meditate to speak to Maul.
Zaiya waited for Nala Se to finish, however, she didn't feel comfortable enough to sink into the trance-state with her right there. Once the Kaminoan was complete, she excused herself, and Zaiya could finally speak to him comfortably.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, relaxing her shoulders and getting comfortable. Or as much as she could on such a hard, cold surface. She envisioned herself sinking into dark calm water, lowering down, the Force encasing her in its unseen arms.
Their connection was strong.
"What is the progress?" Maul asked, turning to face her. Once more they were in the dreamscape, the sky was red beyond the window he stared out of. He stood with his back to her and she took a moment to admire him. He was such a regal figure, she could not help but follow the slope of his shoulders with her eyes.
She swallowed and inwardly shook her head. Even in the dreamscape she was being foolish. Zaiya took a breath and stepped forward, her hands behind her back as she began her report.
He seemed pleased by the results as well, though the idea of the electric shocks seemed to cause his jaw to set. She understood but dared not mention it.
Through her report she was diligent as usual, however it seemed even Maul sensed the distraction she felt.
"You are unfocused, Lieutenant," he interrupted and she pursed her lips guiltily. The crimson zabrak turned to face her though she noticed the way his gaze lingered on her face. Perhaps he was looking for a sign of a lie?
"I have a lot on my mind, sire, it is of no consequence," she replied dismissively. His eyes narrowed slightly.
"On the contrary," he countered, and began to approach. "If you are impeded in your duty by distraction…?" he left the sentence unfinished but she nodded in understanding.
"I suppose it is the current role I have undertaken here on Kamino," she began, but Maul did not interrupt. "I have found that I have made choices I come to regret." Another silence. The words were not easy to speak, she found. "Do you remember the Nightsister Ventress I spoke of?" she asked.
This time Maul did reply, though it was only a nod.
"I let her live when I had the opportunity to kill her, and she has harmed someone I regard as a friend," she explained simply. Maul frowned.
"Who is this, friend of yours?" he asked slowly.
"He is a Captain of the ARC Troopers, one of the men I trained."
"You regard this soldier as a friend and not a subordinate?"
"Yes. I would regard many of them as friends, I suppose," she admitted after a moment of thought. Maul's frown deepened.
"They are creatures bred for war. Created to die for the sake of the Republic. They are little more than blaster fodder," he scoffed incredulously. Zaiya felt the back of her neck heat up and tension seize her shoulders.
"No they are not," she spat and Maul met her eyes.
"That angered you." He said it with such confusion.
"Yes," she replied. "They may have been created in a laboratory, they are still men, still my friends, my brothers."
"Brothers?!" he sneered, his tattooed face twisting in what looked like disgust. "You would compare them to Savage and Feral then?"
"They too are raised to fight for others who care nothing for them! You must see the similarities!"
"What I see is weakness, Lieutenant." His expression hardened. "You are not some soft-hearted Jedi, do not let these clones weaken you and distract you from your purpose. Already you were captured assisting clones and bounty hunters." His upper lip curled. Zaiya felt shame and anger burning in her chest. Almost like she was a child again being scolded. She did her best to swallow her anger for the moment and took a deep breath.
"It was a minor setback, nothing I could not overcome," she assured and Maul growled, his own anger flaring in the Force and he leaned in close to her, inches from her face.
"You nearly died!" he hissed. Zaiya's face became expressionless and his eyes widened. Suddenly his hand was at the base of her neck and she was pinned to the wall behind her. "Don't you dare-!" he spat through gritted teeth.
"Sire-" she began calmly.
"No! You will not hide yourself from me!" A hot rush hit her and she wanted to curl up and disappear. This was how she treated her captors… shutting down on them to avoid giving them that reaction, to avoid the inevitable punishment. She was putting Maul in the same category. She looked away for a moment and took a breath. Allowing the emotions back in was difficult, and painful. Zaiya was not even sure she did so properly.
"A greedy worm cannot kill me," she managed to meet his eyes as she tried to breathe steadily. "You may disagree with me sire, but I care about the clones. They are my friends. If you think me weak because of it…" she looked away again, her anxiety belied her words.
Maul growled -the knowledge that he was disappointed in her made her hearts ache. He stared her down and his lip curled again.
"These feelings are weak, Zaiya, you should know better than to let yourself grow attached to beings who are just going to die," he hissed.
"No attachments? Really?" she scoffed before she could stop herself, "do you know who else uses that rule? Why are you acting like some kind of-" her voice was silenced as he squeezed her throat, cutting off her air supply.
"You would dare say that to me?!" he cried. "It seems your time with these clones has weakened your loyalty as well." Zaiya's eyes widened, but she could not protest - he was still strangling her. It seemed even in the dreamscape he was able to hurt her. All she could do was stare at him with wide eyes and a horrified expression. After a moment he seemed to break from his rage and he seemed to jolt back into control and released her, stepping back.
The Nightsister coughed and gasped as she tried to get her breath back. Maul stared at her, his breathing heavy, his own eyes wide and darted over her.
"Nothing… in this galaxy… will-will weaken my loyalty to you, sire…" she rasped, her voice hoarse.
An uneasy tension rose between them and Maul appeared to hesitate, his hand rose as though he might reach for her, but balled into a fist and he turned his back to her.
"You are dismissed, Lieutenant."
Zaiya stared at him for a moment and her lips pressed into a firm line.
"As you wish, my Lord."
Notes: Hello! I hope you liked this one, Alpha and Zai had a very sweet reunion didn't they? Maul and Zaiya had far less of a sweet interaction though wasn't it? Oh dear!
Hopefully there are some better interactions ahead!
I am feeling a bit down today, a little rough around the edges but here's the most recent chapter! I hope you all like it, and are looking forward to the next one! Next week in Guilt - Part 1, Zaiya has a 'heart to heart' with Master Chief Bric. That should be fun!
As always, I love all your comments and your feedback, it really really helps keep me motivated and writing this fic! Please please don't hesitate to leave a comment!
I hope you are all safe and well, and I shall see you next week!
